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Take the time you need with this.
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Flipped through some photos I’ve taken over the last month. This was a test shot for something completely different, but I’m giggling at the “model” pose.
becoming Candy.
my stomach hurts
Ive passed this video so many times and this time I finally watched it. Im really glad I did
do not resuscitate me
I can’t stop laughing.
This is the nineteenth and final song from the soundtrack from the movie Cold Mountain, 2003. Traditional song written by Charles Westley 1707, Amizi Chapin ...
Sacred Harp music makes me weep. ugh. one of my favorite things. I went to Northern Spark in Minneapolis tonight, and stumbled across sacred harp in the Guthrie Lobby. I wept by myself in the corner while I listened. It is so moving to me.
10 things about being sober
1. While it hasn’t been terribly long that I have been sober (9+ months), I have noticed significant changes in how I perceive other people’s drinking habits. I haven’t posted in quite some time, but I did, early on, truly desire everyone to be sober. I knew then, and I know now that this is not possible for a myriad reasons. I am more accepting of people’s habits. When I was not sober, I would get mildly uncomfortable around sober people--as if I thought I was being judged or that I was not as good as them, or that I would make a fool of myself. It’s nice to be on the other side of that coin now, and be able to know that, at least from where I stand as a sober person, I will not ever judge anyone else for their drinking habits. How can I? I was a fool about it myself. I was there. I was entrenched in it. It’s nice to be able to just be present without casting judgement.
2. I sense when I am getting hurt more quickly. I recognize when I put myself in compromising situations more easily. I recognize when I am overstepping boundaries that I have set for myself. I more easily recognize when I overstep boundaries I didn’t know I had! Learning about it.
3. I’m more clear-headed in my self-care choices. I am better able to discern when I am doing something that is truly caring for myself, and when it is something that is probably more of an avoidance tactic. I can make mental notes of things, but I am trying to treat myself gently and I am trying to not be too hard on myself.
4. I am better at taking care of other people than I was before. Baby steps, but even being really caring toward friends and co-workers was a hard thing for me. I am still a drama queen at times, and can live in chaos, but I am better able to set that stuff aside. I feel like I am trying to be a better listener and just be more present for others. It feels like a sign that I am moving toward being more grounded in who and what I am.
5. I still get urges to drink. Especially after work. Especially now since it is warm outside and “the thing to do” is sit outside and drink. I haven’t been as diligent as I would like about going to meetings (I still don’t have a sponsor), and would like to make a solid effort to do that.
6. I have trouble socializing with people I do not know very well. post meditation group fellowship time is something I’ve been avoiding--I also want to make an effort to be more present with others whom are going through similar struggles. I don’t hang out with a lot of 100% sober people. I would like to have more sober friends.
7. While I quit smoking for about 6 months, I jumped back on that wagon. It’s hard to not have anything to hold on to. It’s hard to not have a “winding down” habit after work. I would like to cultivate some sort of evening ritual to help me through that instead of reaching for a cigarette.
8. I’m working on my shit. Like seriously. I spend a lot of time parsing through my feelings throughout the day, trying to see them, trying to understand them, trying to “get to the bottom of them” (i.e. mom and dad issues, mostly). I’m on a quest to re-find myself. Figure out who I am again. What are the events in my life that shaped me? What were the ways I moved through traumatic times as a kid? What are the behaviors that don’t work anymore? What are behaviors I used to have, that were really helpful, that I dropped off somewhere?
9. I’m still hurt from a huge thing that happened right when I got sober. I’m glad I can recognize that, and not try to push amends when my gut is truly saying “steer clear.” I still hyperventilate and my body tightens, and I still experience confusing flashbacks. It’s hard to feel hurt but also relish in fond memories of a relationship that was something I really cherished but fell apart rather violently.
10. Having a crush is fun. Not sure if I am ready for anything of the dating/casual sex/intimate relationship side of things, but finding another person really attractive in that crushy sort of way hasn’t happened for quite some time.
the window to the inside.
guys this has honestly helped me so so much. basically when i’m doing lets say an assignment late at night, this app automatically adjusts the colour of the screen (dw you don’t really notice it) it is just SO much easier on the eyes and i highly recommend it.
+ it makes it easier for you to go to sleep because the colour is telling your brain that its sunset so time to go to bed. they even have a study on this
+ reblog to save your fellow studyblr friends
download it here
this is amazing!
10 confusing things about being sober right now
1. rapid weight loss (30 pounds? this is due in part to also working a very physically demanding job. I began losing weight back in April. I quit drinking on July 1)
2. navigating social situations in which alcohol is abound.
3. figuring out what to do on evenings I have off of work that don’t include going to a bar.
4. how and when to apologize to those whom I have hurt because of my drinking. (I’m not following the steps in any formalized manner, but I do think they hold some degree of merit)
5. how to be with my family (whom are all moderate to heavy drinkers, whether they know it or not)
6. having so much energy I don’t know what to do with it.
7. being offered a drink, saying no thank you, and the person whom offered gives me a quizzical look or demands to know why.
8. Wishing that everyone were sober.
9. People giving me that look like I must be boring because I don’t drink. (lol--maybe YOU’RE boring.)
10. Giving people advice on which beers to try.
bonus 11. suppressing the urge to get on a soap box and wax poetic about why no one should drink.
10 best things about being sober right now
1. no hang overs.
2. motivation to do things because I don’t have a hang over.
3. fewer migraines.
4. ability to drive anywhere at any time.
5. not making stupid promises about stupid things.
6. more energy.
7. way more money to do whatever with. (saving for a new bike!)
8. a more clear head.
9. don’t have to take out the recycling as frequently.
10. ability to evaluate other addictive tendencies in my life.
bonus 11. ability to detect/discern/name feelings and why they are arising.
Tumblr being bad for businesses
One thing I’ve observed over the years of being in this delightful wasteland of memes and anger (TLOMAA) is the neat microcosmic presentation of the effect a financially weak and business-unsavvy civilian population with a huge soundboard has on business, and how people think.
I’ve always known, or had the idea, but still..
If you extract the urge most of its users have to buy almost anything if it’s fandom-branded, most people on here, understandably, do not and cannot afford to support small artist, clothing, or luxury (anything not a necessity) businesses.
However, these are the same people who complain about capitalism, yet often in a way that leads me to believe that they don’t know what it is about capitalism they don’t like, and what literally will not and cannot be changed or blamed unless you want to obliterate the concept of money- or at least reset the global trade market and the US economy.
You see, people on tumblr are quick to try and dismantle an upcoming business’ popularity and consumer base if they think the product is too expensive.
A population of young people rightfully scrupulous of spending what they have, yet bearing totally unrealistic expectations is such a bad mix!
I hate watching this Nubian Skin drama. I hope what I’m seeing is disproportionately presented to me through a selection bias- what I’m seeing is inarguably augmented by the fact that I follow thelingerieaddict . However, this is still a trend. Anyway, in regards to the Nubian Skin drama… You know how the lingerie industry standard of ‘nude’ is just beige? And how while it certainly doesn’t match most light skinned people, it matches little to no dark skinned people? You know how the fashion industry as a whole seemingly ignores the reality that a lot of people have brown skin?
And you know how POC on tumblr are always saying ‘we need to support black businesses’? I’ll get to that one in a second.
Enter Nubian Skin Lingerie is a brand made and run by WOC. It is new. It is small. It is non-corporate. Ade Hassan started it up from the ground, and unlike huge brands like Hanes or Victorias Secret, she doesn’t (and can’t) ship her designs to a factory in another country to have her stuff made on the cheap. Nor is she stocked by every Target and Wal-Mart, or even every shopping mall. She doesn’t have that power, yet.
Starting a company is always expensive. Buying materials, getting the time to make your product (I mean you don’t have time for a regular job anymore so you have to invest and then hope it pays off!), finding and paying people to help you, making something high quality enough that people will buy, marketing it so people know it exists, trying to get other stores to carry it.. all of this takes time (which is money) and money.
But let me take a moment to explain the process of undercutting.
Undercutting is the business practice of under-pricing a product so your competition seems too expensive. This has become a standard business practice. Let’s say I make soda out of a small neighborhood factory. My soda is $6 for a 4-pack. This is what I need to charge to still make a profit and cover production costs and rent. Let’s say my competitor, who doesn’t like the homegrown popularity of my brand, and who knows someone in beverage distribution, originally sold their soda for almost the same price. So, to wipe me out, they don’t decide to make a new flavor, they don’t focus on buying commercials…they just drop the price of the soda. Initially, they’ll be eating the cost, but they can afford that more than I can. And after their deal goes through, they’ll be supported by a wider distribution range because of their new industry ties. Meanwhile, when people go to the soda aisle, they will see my $6 soda and their $4 soda and make their choice based on cost.
Even though my soda is priced to cover the necessary production costs and leave me with a little bit of profit, undercutting has now made me look too expensive.
Undercutting is exclusively only something businesses who favor profit far over quality can do- because if you’re concerned with the quality of your materials, the pay of your employees, and the ethics of your methods, it will cost you too damn much.
This concept applies everywhere in almost every industry. Undercutting is why people look at the $55 bras Nubian Skin makes and go ‘that’s too expensive’. A lot of people are used to the prices of horrible companies like H&M that have huuuuge made-in-china factory capability, major distribution, and millions in profit. That, and aaalll of the Chinese resellers you can imagine. Let me digress:
I see this habit that people have here, when someone goes “Hey look at this new small brand that came up! This person sells x-useful-or-neat-thing for $x and you can buy it here!” People inevitably will say ‘Cool!’ and ‘Take all my money!’ but eventually people start tagging onto the promo post like ‘why? this is so expensive! You can buy something like it here and here at Wal-Mart or from this (exclusively stocked via AlieExpress) store’ so now this advertisement for a new startup company has been parasitized by people making it look unreasonably and frivolously expensive.
I’ve said it before, but I need to say it again, you also need to be aware that a lot of popular blogs that turn around and offer links to ‘cheap’ clothing are promoing stores that ship directly from China, often use photos stolen from other companies to present the concept of a quality item (just like x company but way cheaper!), and incentivize these people through affiliate programs. For a website that finds artists being ripped off completely heinous, I don’t see much of a qualm about businesses doing it. Take Blackmilk for instance.
I know I’ve spoken on this in the past, but long story short, the business practices listed above are a problem for this company, especially when not only are people ripping off their product/photos, but I’ve seen people on tumblr actually accusing them of fraud, literally saying “They are selling leggings you can get from china at five times the price!”
I’ve even seen creepyyeha accused of this, even when it’s entirely not true, and the fact that ‘cheaper versions’ of any of her pieces exist is not because she bought and resold them, but because someone stole her designs and remade them with cheaper materials and labor.
Like.. *facepalm*.
You fell for it.
So what is my point here? Let me summarize. You see people rightfully complain about capitalism, but I don’t think you guys get how it works. Capitalism isn’t when everything is expensive and no one can afford it- that doesn’t even make sense how would anyone make money? No, part of capitalism is big bottom-line-based businesses choking out smaller honest companies. And how do they do that? By being cheaper. On all accounts. Cheaper materials, cheaper production costs, lower pay for employees, etc. So when you guys spit in the face of new, small, honest businesses with “this is too expensive!” even though you have NO CLUE what actual start up and production costs are (because your idea of price is defined by what dishonest, unsustainable, huge corporation, big box companies have sold you) you are doing one of the most capitalist things possible. You are undervaluing labor, buying into the cost over quality mentality, and supporting the idea that smaller companies are ‘too expensive’ and should not be supported.
This is not an attack on people who can’t afford otherwise (a populace with restricted income ((to a point)) is super fab for capitalism, in this way), this is an attack on those who attack smaller companies with their ignorance.
You want corporations to stop running everything? Then stop helping them crush their competition.
You want innovation? Companies that fill niches? Then support them. It costs money.
Great post. On top of this, one of the best ways to support women worldwide is to support companies that have solid and transparent labour practices. More in a video soon, but for now check out Marion’s posts on the subject 1 / 2
Actions like these are so damn vile that it reminds you why there is a hell…
kill all fascists
I usually use my thinnest coin or a key to tear them down, just in case.
Make sure people know about this, and fuck up anyone you see placing them
U.S. police have killed 745 people this year. This is how it breaks down by state.
According to statistics provided by Mapping Police Violence, American police are on track to kill around 1,200 people in 2015. While there’s a clear correlation between the number of officer-involved homicides and state population size, a few states stand out as having extremely high numbers of deaths.
looking at this hurts my heart. makes me angry. RAGE
!!!!! LISTEN UP !!!!!!
Mike Browns Friend Shot By Police On One Year Anniversary Of Death.
The person shot in Ferguson by a police officer after a day of commemorating the first anniversary of Michael Brown’s death has been identified by his father as 18-year-old Tyrone Harris Jr., of St. Louis, who was “real close” to Brown, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports.
After shooting him they handcuffed him and stood over his body, continuing to aim their guns while a witness recording the incident screamed and begged for them to get him medical attention. The man recording was then arrested for “disobeying police” and staying in the area. Thankfully the ambulance was called and he was rushed to the hospital, put into surgery, and is currently in unstable and critical condition.
The story is that apparently Harris had been tracked throughout the protest in an unmarked vehicle and in plainclothes (meaning not wearing their uniform but simply dressed as normal citizens) as police believed he was “armed.” Officers allege the suspect approached the detectives who were sitting in a van and opened fire with a 9mm gun that had been stolen last year.
They also believed him to be the suspect of the first shooting that occurred earlier that night. The incident reportedly involved two groups of people on the west side of West Florissant Avenue. It happened just before police shot Harris Jr.
Belmar added that 40 and 50 shots were fired in an exchange between the two groups, and the incident he described as “remarkable” lasted around 45 seconds. “They were criminals. They weren’t protesters,” Belmar said of those involved in the shootings. He did not say if there were any casualties from the shooting on West Florissant Avenue. Protesters and members of the media who had gathered in the street took cover or fled when the firing started, The Associated Press reported.
The media and Police are both calling harris the “shooting suspect” but have no evidence to back it up. It’s all simply speculation at this point. Witnesses, including his girlfriend, are saying Harris never shot at police, he was just one of the bystanders trying to flee when the shots first rang out.
Pictures and Videos from that night also show that the original shooter was wearing completely different clothes than Harris and in the video, you can see the unmarked police car drive right past the shooter.
The cops involved in shooting are on paid leave while there’s an investigation.
Source / Source / Video / Video / Video
#StayWoke
Last Night in Ferguson (8.11.15): Shit continues to be fucked up. The police continue to outright assault protesters and make indiscriminate arrests. A year later, the police are also no better at de-escalating tensions. And then, the Oath Keepers showed up… who the fuck and why?! Overall, nearly 150 protesters were arrested yesterday in Ferguson/St Louis. #staywoke #farfromover
If you ever want evidence of what it is to operate in a police state; where suppression of journalists, squelching of public assembly and peaceful protest are shrugged off and or encouraged by “tyranny fearing” armed militiamen who help do it… this is American dystopia.
The human rights nightmare that was bad enough the first time. Now its just obvious that nothing whatsoever has changed.
I just can’t believe what is happening.