I've been in Mexico for almost two weeks now. I just started classes yesterday, two in Spanish, and I'm completely lost. My professor for one of my classes was upset yesterday that I was allowed to enter her class and I'm supposed to talk to her after my next class. Most of the students here, Mexican or not, have a vast understanding of English. How is that? Why is that learning other languages is so unimportant in the US? I feel like an idiot in that I am half Mexican and have such little understanding of Spanish. Me siento muy tonto. I was talking to this girl from Australia earlier and she was telling me and this other guy she almost dropped $1000 on a vintage Chanel jacket like it was nothing. Most of the Mexicans here have way more money than I do, as well. Walking around with Macbooks and gold jewelry. I can hardly even afford to buy a $15 meal right now. It puts me in an interesting and uncomfortable spot, as I am American but don't have half the money these other students have. Where do I fit in here? Or in Texas? Or anywhere? Additionally, all these students are my age but I feel so much older. I feel the same way in the States, but for some reason it feels worse here. Why did I have to grow up faster than others? Why can I not be young? Complete disconnect. I'm lonely and lost. Fucked.