I write for haikyuu at the moment, and perhaps iâll do some kpop too!
At the moment i do fluff and angst, and ofc hurt/comfort.
NO SMUT AS I AM A MINOR!!
So yeah, iâll write for basically every haikyuu character! But do note that i write on inspiration, like all i write comes from inspiration and not just cause. So my schedule will probably always be unconventional.
I do take requests? But i dont think anyone would want to request anything but yeah!
Uhm yeah, thats probably it.
Iâll probably make a masterlist at some point but not now! Nice to meet everyone
High school wasn't easy, it was hard, and stressful. And you didn't know if it was because you had changed school this year, or just because it is.
But your bet was on the former.
It was raining the first day.
Everyone was under an umbrella with their friends, laughing and joking around. Perhaps the weather was mocking you.
Your umbrella was over you, you weren't getting drenched but somehow, it felt like you were drowning.
The walk to the school hallway wasn't long, but it felt like a mile, watching everyone else be happy in the grey weather.
"AKAASHIIII!" The loud voice comes as soon as it goes, a quieter voice just calmly replies, and perhaps that was where it all went wrong.
It had been a week by now, and nothing much had happened.
You had gone to class, done the homework assigned, and been quiet while doing so. Well as quiet as you could.
But it still hadn't stopped your eyes from wandering at times.
The guy who sat in front of you, Akaashi, you had heard during attendence, was something you couldn't fully understand.
He was gorgeous, that much you could see, and quiet, good at studying too, plus he was an athlete, he was a crazy combo that was almost every high schoolers hallway crush.
So how come he wasn't everyones hallway crush? You couldn't really fathom it, but each to their own.
So yeah, the first week had been okay.
It had been a month by now, and how you had survived Akaashi Keiji's friendly nature was a mystery to yourself.
It had started the first week. He was observant and polite to you, but not more than needed. But then he remembered the drink you normally brought from the vending machines. He had given you a polite smile before giving you the drink.
You hadn't really known what to make of it, you had thanked him, of course, but it was weird.
Then the breaks in between classes came, and he began to talk to you? Quietly at first, but then he began to get more confident with time, and now it was just a routine.
Then after school came, where he offered to walk you home, when you tagged along to volleyball practice. What you didn't know was that he lived in the opposite direction...
And somewhere along the way, you had fallen. Hard. Like down bad crying at the gym, kinda hard.
But instead of trying to get him to like you too, you just went along with the ride. Not like a blushing mess, but just as someone who didn't think about it, before Akaashi had to leave to go home himself.
But then it all came back to you, the way you liked him and the warm feeling was there now taking over your whole body.
And yet, Akaashi didn't stop. He just began to do more, in a more warm way. In a way that made you flustered the whole time, instead of just at the end.
Like, when he began to buy you an onigiri everyday, just to make sure you always ate something.
Or when he began to hold your hand when he walked you home.
Wednesdays weren't the best day of the week to many, but for Sugawara? It was.
Because that was when the second years had gym class. And yes, perhaps he shouldn't be looking, but then she came out with that smile, and he just couldn't help himself.
She always saw him too, she waved at him everytime she came out, and smiled to him while the class was going on.
Yeah, Wednesdays were definitely Sugawara's favorite day of the week.
Perhaps he should stop being a chicken...
But then again, he had said that to himself so many times before, what made today so different?
Well...
Perhaps the thing she had said yesterday.
"Y'know, you remind me of a sunflower at times. So bright and warm, I feel like the sun is looking at me when you look at me..."
In all of Sugawara's life, he had never been compared to a sunflower. So the warm feeling in his cheeks wasn't his fault.
How was he suppose to react?
Volleyball was nice, it was nice to just be with his friends and play something he liked.
He had never thought he would want to disappear because of it...
Yeah, falling to get that ball was embarrasing enough, but doing it because you couldn't stop staring at your crush?
Sugawara wanted to bury himself in a hole.
But he couldn't do that, so the next best thing?
Hide from your crush, of course!
Learning how to confess wasnât something Sugawara thought he would need, but the amount of books he had read about it, would think he was studying for an exam.
But no, he just wanted it to be done right.
So what was right? What was the right way to confess?
Well in Sugawaraâs case it was just as she was about to get on the bus.
âI like you.â
Such simple words for some, such hard words for others.
âWhat?â
âI like you.â
The shocking covering her face wasnât what he had expected.
As the bus driver was waiting for her to get on, she couldnât really do anything.
And just as she was about to get on, she changes her direction.
And kisses his cheek.
She just smiles at him before getting on the bus, leaving him with the warm feeling that consumes his whole body.
To doubt love, can make sense. Love isn't something people are always ready for. Perhaps that's why she didn't believe them at the start.
The thought always comes up again. To say it to her face. To be able to adore that face of hers. To not just be another stupid person in her line.
But maybe, not today. But soon.
ââââďšâĄďšââââ
Sugawara hadn't been prepared to be hit with love, the way he was. The new manager hadn't been what he had thought. Only a year younger, but still keeping up.
And it hadn't even been fast he had fallen. Somehow, though, along the way of teaching her the ropes around being a manager, saying hi when she saw him, and just hanging out with the team, his heart began to skip a beat, just a little bit.
The thought wasn't as scary when it first started. Just a smile a bit brighter to her, and making sure she knew what to do at practice.
But then night came, and thats where it all fell down on him, because, what do you do?
What does one do?
Sugawara didn't know. And he didn't feel like asking his teammates about it, knowing their luck.
So he tried to push it down, but then...
The hand holding the two had done, the way she had squeezed his hand just a bit, three times.
Then the shared umbrella, and her running up to the bus with a smile, before getting on. The way she had waved to him in the bus when she passed him.
The way she would share some of her food, even though she normally makes sure nobody takes any of it.
To doubt love, can make sense. Love isn't something people are always ready for. Perhaps that's why she didn't believe them at the start.
The thought always comes up again. To say it to her face. To be able to adore that face of hers. To not just be another stupid person in her line.
But maybe, not today. But soon.
ââââďšâĄďšââââ
Sugawara hadn't been prepared to be hit with love, the way he was. The new manager hadn't been what he had thought. Only a year younger, but still keeping up.
And it hadn't even been fast he had fallen. Somehow, though, along the way of teaching her the ropes around being a manager, saying hi when she saw him, and just hanging out with the team, his heart began to skip a beat, just a little bit.
The thought wasn't as scary when it first started. Just a smile a bit brighter to her, and making sure she knew what to do at practice.
But then night came, and thats where it all fell down on him, because, what do you do?
What does one do?
Sugawara didn't know. And he didn't feel like asking his teammates about it, knowing their luck.
So he tried to push it down, but then...
The hand holding the two had done, the way she had squeezed his hand just a bit, three times.
Then the shared umbrella, and her running up to the bus with a smile, before getting on. The way she had waved to him in the bus when she passed him.
The way she would share some of her food, even though she normally makes sure nobody takes any of it.
âFelixâŚâ His head perked up, it wasnât normal for you to call him by his name, nonetheless felix.
He was curious. His smile the same adoring way as always, his eyes so big and sparkly.
The two of you were in his dorm, Seungmin was in his room, just chilling and listening to music from what you could gather, and you were just resting, you and him. You and your lover boy.
âI think we should break up.â The silence was tense, never had Felix ever thought your next words would have been that. For you to break up with him.
A quiet gasp had left him. You werenât deaf, or blind. You could see his frown and the sadness in his eyes and on his lips. His beautiful face, now sad. Now looking broken.
You hated that. You hated your own feelings. You knew Felix was forcing his feelings. You werenât blind. And you couldnât keep doing that to him, or to yourself. You both deserved better.
âDonât look at me so sadly, you know I love you too.â You whispered softly. It was a song he had sent you, it was a heartfelt song. One that broke your heart because you knew thats how it would end with you and him.
âBut I donât think we want each other, the way we want us to. Oh, lover boyâŚâ A tear fell from your eye. You didnât want to cry. You didnât want to be sad about this. He deserved better than feeling like he has to like you, feeling like he has to force it.
"[Name], what are you talking about? What are you saying?" The crack on his voice broke you even more than before. This wasn't easy. Having to say goodbye to the man you loved, because he didn't love you the same way.
"When the wind is calling, have you felt the urge to run?"
"[Name], what is this? What's that suppose to mean? Have I felt the urge to run? No!" He was lying, you both knew it. He was trying to deny, for is own pride? Or for you feelings.
"Felix, I would hate to be the reason why you haven't found the one..." It came out more shaky then intented.
You hated feeling weak, you hated feeling hurt. But you can't do anything about it. You have to do what is needed. Especially when the other person couldn't understand it.
"My lover boy, don't you know my loving's almost done...?" You didn't want to say it, but you could see the relief it gave Felix. It was like a tension there couldn't fully be seen was lifted from his shoulder.
âOh, lover boy itâs easy loving you, in things I findâŚâ
You had a gentle smile on your face, though you wanted to cry. You wouldnât, he deserved better. He deserved someone he loved, so does you.
âBut now weâre running out of breath, will this have no more timeâŚ? My lover boy, you know, my lovingâs almost done⌠Maybe in a year, itâll changeâŚâ He was still as beautiful as before. You hated thatâs what you could see, he was still the person you fell in love with, the person you wanted to spend the rest of your days with.
â[Name], whatâs going on? Why are you saying all of thisâŚ?â You wanted to reassure him that it was not him and that you and him could still be friends. But you couldnât. Because it wasnât true. You didnât want to be friends, and maybe thatâs selfish. Then selfish you will be.
âFelix, I could dye my hair, or you could call me a new name⌠Oh, my lover boy, it would just end up the same⌠So whatâs the point of loving you all over againâŚ?â Everything hurt. Everything was so emotional, to you. You hated feeling vulnerable, because you felt like anything could destroy you. But, you wouldnât want to be in whatever you and Felix were in, anymore. So you packed you things after you had apologiesed again.
And you left.
Donât look at me so sadly, you know I love you too~
But I dont think we want each other, the way we want us to~
âWeâve stumbled on a view. Thats been tailored, made for two.â You gesture to the sky, the stars visible surprisingly, and the moon full.
âWhat a shame, those two are you and meâŚâ You look at him. Itâs never been a secret that you and Bang Chan didnât get along. It had started from trainee days where Chan had been late to practice and stressing when you had bumped into him. He didnât say anything, and you had taken that as him being a rude person.
Nothing had changed since those years, and Chan and you had never gotten the closure you two so desperately needed.
âYou know, some other girl and guy, would love these swirling skies. But itâs only you and I⌠And weâve got no shot.â
Chan looked confused, he was probably thinking about how stupid you sounded, but honestly. You wished that you were here with someone you could be together with, maybe in some other place, a few meters from where you and Chan were standing, two people who likes each other are standing and one of them decides to make a move.
âThis could never be, youâre just not the type for me. And thereâs not a spark in sight⌠What a waste of a lovely nightâŚâ Chan finally looked at you, actually. He looked like he wanted to say something, to expeess something.
But his hesitation got the best of him, and he just nodded and whispered, âRightâŚâ
You looked at him perplexed, you didnât know how to feel, is this normal?
âYou agree thereâs nothing here? Well letâs make one thing clear, I think Iâll be the one to make that call!â Chan was again confused. You sounded aggressive like this was the last thing you wanted, like he couldnât have done anything dumber?
âAnd though you look so cute, in your polyester suit!â
âItâs woolâŚ?â
âYouâre right, Iâll never fall for you at all!â
You rolled your eyes, before deciding to head inside again. Besides, Chan could go and enjoy his girlfriendâs company instead.
You knew that your head was wrong and that it was just spitting dumb things, but you also hated how much you wanted to just be with him.
You pushed it down though. Nothing good ever comes out of this.
To be fair, this was inspired by leanna firestones little cover of lovely night
@111557
Iâm adding staybabbling too because I want you to see my writing, tell me if I shouldnât!
I'm tagging my girl @111557 because I love you and I want you to see my writing <3333
A song was playing softly in the background.
/Sorry I didn't kiss you/
It was everything you felt in that moment. You wished he could see that, that this was for the best. For the both of you.
He couldn't respond in the way you needed, and you couldn't always be there for him.
/But it's obvious I wanted to/
He deserved better, and you couldn't be better. At least not right now.
He was your everything, your stars, your sun, your moon, your universe. But you couldn't be his. He was too busy for someone like you who needed attention to know that you were good enough, to know that you aren't a bother.
/Bubble gum down my throat and it's a curse/
He had looked heart broken when you told him, and maybe that was for the better. Let him be angry at you, let him feel like you broke his heart so someone that was good enough could pierce it back together.
You know his member would have his back. You had already blocked them. A childhood friend of yours, was insisting on taking you home. But you declined. You knew he would be angry at you, and you couldn't even blame him.
/But my luck couldn't get any worse/
He tried to talk you out of it, saying that you couldn't break it off, saying that he will try to make sure he has time, that he's gonna be more affectionate, that you won't have to ever doubt his love again.
But you knew it would only be for so long before that broke. You understood he had a hard time saying that he cares, that his love language was acts of service. But you couldn't feel it. So you had to.
/'Cause I swallowed the bubble gum/
The were tears, a tear was rolling down his cheek, and you were surprised. Of course you were. This was the first time you had ever seen him cry. But you couldn't falter. You can't.
"I'm sorry, I really am." He wanted to be mad, to be angry. But he couldn't. You looked as broken as he did.
"[Name], don't do this. What about the guys? What about... Us...?" He tried to make his voice steady, he really did. But his voice trembled. It almost cracked too.
/Oh, and these seven years will be pretty dumb
Pink flowers grow from my skin
Pepto Bismol veins and I grin/
"I'm sorry Minho, I really am." You tried to walk away, your mind was cloud with too many things. You couldn't let him win you over, it isn't good for either of you.
"Just talk to me, please? What can I do? Please don't just walk away..."
/You looked so nice in your shirt/
"Please... Minho, just please..." You were tired, you didn't wanna do this, you really didn't. But each day is more exhausting than the other. You were worried about yourself, so was your friends and family.
This wasn't something you could take. And that's okay.
You just hate that it has to hurt this much.
/It's sad because it just hurts/
"I'd do anything for you, but would you do that for me, too?" He couldn't help but let out a choked sob. How couldn't you think or know that he would do anything for you?
He would give up his career for you, that's how much you mean to him.
But nothing can be done now. He was too late to show it, way too late.
/'Cause I swallowed the bubble gum
Oh, and these seven years will be pretty dumb
Oh, pink flowers grow from my skin
Oh, Pepto Bismol veins and I grin.../
"I love you... I'm sorry..." Minho couldn't form words. And now? You're out of sight, and out of his life.
