Guys and Other Bullshit

A fandom shame corner because I'm too much of a coward to put this stuff on my main blog. Currently mostly Star Wars’ best blue Grand Admiral and a bit of Detroit: Become Human. You can also expect random men, memes, cats, and other internet detritus. Occasionally NSFW but no overt nudity.

[ravioliet]

huge fan of when characters love each other and are closely bonded in an explicitly nonromantic way. however ☝️ i am very much not a huge fan of what happens when characters like this are introduced to fandom

[shoulderholsterfreak]

Headcanon that Thrawn sleeps either

1) like a vampire in a trooper’s cot in his office, giving in to “decadence” and sleeping in his actual bed only when deathly ill

2) in luxury, fully nude in the finest of silk sheets that aren’t even soft

No in between.

[myevilmouse]

#1 for nucanon!Thrawn

#2 for legends!Thrawn

[shoulderholsterfreak]

Yes

[eldr1tch-cr0w]

number one rule! never believe ur thoughts after 10 pm . unless its about The Character then believe all of your thoughts wholeheartedly

[nablastria]

I Know What I Am

[bikuwana-still-on-discord-deact]

girls when the media they're obsessed with is never going to be as good as they wish it could be

[lordofseagulls]

girls when the media they're obsessed with is never going to be as good as they wish it could be

[electricnik]

Watch out for the tree dragon.

[electricnik]

Wait, those ivy branches reminded me of the ysalamari, the force sensitive lizards from the Thrawn novels, so I've added a bit of tree gecko and sloth to the mix.

[gadmiral-thrawn]

Under appreciated Star Wars character is definitely Stent. Fun fact, he was a TIE fighter pilot in the Empire of the Hands Gray Squadron. Baron Fel stated he was one of his best pilots. Don’t worry mr stent I appreciate you

[gadmiral-thrawn]

Thank you good to see someone else acknowledges how awesome he is

[shoulderholsterfreak]

Absolutely! Thrawn fandom that read legends books used to love him. It’s a shame those aren’t really given much attention anymore.

I love Drask, and I low-key got Idris Elba vibes from him. Ugh, fans who are limited to canon books because they’re under the impression that Thrawn was just some totally different, evil person in legends have no idea what they’re missing out on.

[gadmiral-thrawn]

Under appreciated Star Wars character is definitely Stent. Fun fact, he was a TIE fighter pilot in the Empire of the Hands Gray Squadron. Baron Fel stated he was one of his best pilots. Don’t worry mr stent I appreciate you

[nellasbookplanet]

Something so funny about rereading one's own unfinished fics. Like wow this is pretty good! Almost as if was written exactly according to what I personally like in fact! Someone should finish it!

[some-pers0n]

"Self-indulgent fanfic" but not in a way of making the filthiest smut imaginable so much as writing in a way that's reminiscent of a six-year-old playing with their Barbie dreamhouse and having Fluttershy go to a tea party with a Bionicle

[some-pers0n]

Pros of writing incredibly self-indulgent fic: This writing is tailor-made for you and nobody else!!!

Cons of writing incredibly self-indulgent fic: This writing is tailor-made for you and nobody else

[halcyoncyrus]

there is a fictional man in my brain and I will never be free

[thrawnalani]

Trying to draw Thrawn's Chiss armor and I'm realizing it makes zero sense. WHY DID THEY DESIGN ARMOR ON THE SIDES BUT NOT THE CHEST.

[shoulderholsterfreak]

That’s what I’m SAYING! It’s so stupid! And it’s clearly a game of visual telephone because it was originally an outfit drawn for Mara Jade

You already have some random non-functional details that are included because they look cool, which is fine, but then the illustrator for Alliances put their own spin on things and confused things even more

And then the comic book artist decided on the hideously godawful green color and rendered the sides to be clearly armored and the front/back just covered in thin fabric.

I really do hate it because

1) being Mara Jade’s armor it has nothing to do with the Chiss, their aesthetic sensibilities, or their culture

2) it does NOT follow any kind of description in the book (yes it’s form-fitting as described, but it’s sure as hell not black)

3) the ugly/non-Chiss design can’t even be excused in the name of functionality because it fails as armor. Why does it have armored pauldrons but zero armor over the chest? His tits are fully out ffs! Why does it have armor at the waist? Which would impede movement?

4) the green is gross and looks terrible on blue skin for no reason

It’s just disappointing because I adore costume design and good costuming can tell you so much about a character, the story, and their culture, but this does none of that.

[mayhaps-a-blog]

Theories:

The "fabric" IS armor. It's some sort of force-absorbing, flexible weave that disperses the force of impact. But that force has to go somewhere, so they have hard "ribs" on the sides to eat it, where an armor failure from too much force won't matter as much. The reason it looks like ribs is because it's made to allow for flexibility while still absorbing impacts. Arms/shoulders are harder to get a force-absorbing weave on because of the movement and deflection issues, so there's added pauldrons, vambraces, and padding to reinforce it, with the chest strap to help distribute their weight more effectively.

Since Chiss eyes are red they don't see the color red well (red light is reflected) and that shifts their color vision slightly. Since a lot of species native to Chiss territory are blue and red (I think I heard that somewhere?) they didn't need to see green as much as humans so the color receptivity isn't as good. Ergo, the armor looks black to them. And very cool. It's the rest of us who have to suffer.

[shoulderholsterfreak]

1) you wouldn’t want anything on the sides because it impedes movement and the outsides of shoulders are more static than the torso. Also, something that thin and basically vacuum sealed to him is going to be bad at dispersing energy away from his body.

2) the uniforms are first described as black by human characters (Car’das all the way back in Outbound Flight and Anakin in Alliances specifically notes Thrawn’s uniform as being black). Also, that may have been me—I made a post referencing a bit where Thalias noted that plants on most Chiss worlds are red and purple. However, in that same little snippet, Thalias also makes note of green plants, so Chiss can see green.

Edit: fun fact, it turns out the random nonfunctional details are called “greebles”

[mayhaps-a-blog]

You don't want things on the side but you need the force to get absorbed somewhere, and better a side-rib crack than a giant hole in your chest armor! They can make it bendable with special space-metal and some nice layering behind the ribbing, just like normal ribs. Shoulders are harder to get a cloth to sit static against, since it's so close to a joint that moves pretty constantly with any kind of activity. They're also skinnier, so more chance of a shot coming in at a bad angle for force absorption and flat surface area to disperse force through, maybe it's harder with a stronger curve. And "form-fitting" doesn't necessarily mean thin, it could be quite thick for fabric and still show the impression of the body! And that's why it's special sci-fi fabric that special sci-fi disperses force to the sides :)

Eh, but can they see green well? Or the same as humans? Perhaps... but perhaps not :) Car'das isn't technically canon anymore (alas) and was also several years prior, so they could have updated the armor since; Anakin... maybe the lighting was bad, or maybe he's colorblind, we're never told he's not! XD

[shoulderholsterfreak]

I think, ultimately, the easiest answer is not to try to make sense of Disney’s mess but to say that they were lazy/rushed… aka they done f’ed up, lol.

[thrawnalani]

Trying to draw Thrawn's Chiss armor and I'm realizing it makes zero sense. WHY DID THEY DESIGN ARMOR ON THE SIDES BUT NOT THE CHEST.

[shoulderholsterfreak]

That’s what I’m SAYING! It’s so stupid! And it’s clearly a game of visual telephone because it was originally an outfit drawn for Mara Jade

You already have some random non-functional details that are included because they look cool, which is fine, but then the illustrator for Alliances put their own spin on things and confused things even more

And then the comic book artist decided on the hideously godawful green color and rendered the sides to be clearly armored and the front/back just covered in thin fabric.

I really do hate it because

1) being Mara Jade’s armor it has nothing to do with the Chiss, their aesthetic sensibilities, or their culture

2) it does NOT follow any kind of description in the book (yes it’s form-fitting as described, but it’s sure as hell not black)

3) the ugly/non-Chiss design can’t even be excused in the name of functionality because it fails as armor. Why does it have armored pauldrons but zero armor over the chest? His tits are fully out ffs! Why does it have armor at the waist? Which would impede movement?

4) the green is gross and looks terrible on blue skin for no reason

It’s just disappointing because I adore costume design and good costuming can tell you so much about a character, the story, and their culture, but this does none of that.

[mayhaps-a-blog]

Theories:

The "fabric" IS armor. It's some sort of force-absorbing, flexible weave that disperses the force of impact. But that force has to go somewhere, so they have hard "ribs" on the sides to eat it, where an armor failure from too much force won't matter as much. The reason it looks like ribs is because it's made to allow for flexibility while still absorbing impacts. Arms/shoulders are harder to get a force-absorbing weave on because of the movement and deflection issues, so there's added pauldrons, vambraces, and padding to reinforce it, with the chest strap to help distribute their weight more effectively.

Since Chiss eyes are red they don't see the color red well (red light is reflected) and that shifts their color vision slightly. Since a lot of species native to Chiss territory are blue and red (I think I heard that somewhere?) they didn't need to see green as much as humans so the color receptivity isn't as good. Ergo, the armor looks black to them. And very cool. It's the rest of us who have to suffer.

[shoulderholsterfreak]

1) you wouldn’t want anything on the sides because it impedes movement and the outsides of shoulders are more static than the torso. Also, something that thin and basically vacuum sealed to him is going to be bad at dispersing energy away from his body.

2) the uniforms are first described as black by human characters (Car’das all the way back in Outbound Flight and Anakin in Alliances specifically notes Thrawn’s uniform as being black). Also, that may have been me—I made a post referencing a bit where Thalias noted that plants on most Chiss worlds are red and purple. However, in that same little snippet, Thalias also makes note of green plants, so Chiss can see green.

Edit: fun fact, it turns out the random nonfunctional details are called “greebles”

[thrawnalani]

Trying to draw Thrawn's Chiss armor and I'm realizing it makes zero sense. WHY DID THEY DESIGN ARMOR ON THE SIDES BUT NOT THE CHEST.

[shoulderholsterfreak]

That’s what I’m SAYING! It’s so stupid! And it’s clearly a game of visual telephone because it was originally an outfit drawn for Mara Jade

You already have some random non-functional details that are included because they look cool, which is fine, but then the illustrator for Alliances put their own spin on things and confused things even more

And then the comic book artist decided on the hideously godawful green color and rendered the sides to be clearly armored and the front/back just covered in thin fabric.

I really do hate it because

1) being Mara Jade’s armor it has nothing to do with the Chiss, their aesthetic sensibilities, or their culture

2) it does NOT follow any kind of description in the book (yes it’s form-fitting as described, but it’s sure as hell not black)

3) the ugly/non-Chiss design can’t even be excused in the name of functionality because it fails as armor. Why does it have armored pauldrons but zero armor over the chest? His tits are fully out ffs! Why does it have armor at the waist? Which would impede movement?

4) the green is gross and looks terrible on blue skin for no reason

It’s just disappointing because I adore costume design and good costuming can tell you so much about a character, the story, and their culture, but this does none of that.

[maidenvault]

Not “Only my reading of canon is correct” or “Interpretations are subjective and all valid” but a secret third thing, “More than one interpretation can be valid but there’s a reason your English teacher had you cite quotes and examples in your papers, you have to have a strong argument that your interpretation is actually supported by the text or it is just wrong and I’m fine with telling you it’s wrong, actually.”

[mooncustafer]

If the text says the curtains are blue you can argue about what that means; but if you’re going to claim they’re actually yellow you’d better have a really good argument.

[xwilltruman]

i know the curtains better than the author. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[maidenvault]

Fandom has such unresolved mommy/daddy issues about authors. If you apply a little reading comprehension skills to my original post you’ll see I didn’t say anything at all about the author. You guys always make “interpretation” about your beef with the author. You’re all obsessed with the author. This post is just about deciphering what is there in canon. Figuring out what is being communicated by the canon itself with all the words and images and basic formal elements that are there in canon. That’s all it’s about. It really doesn’t matter if the author intentionally put all those things there in a pattern that might support the idea that this one character’s queer. That’s not what this is about. What matters is if you can compellingly argue there’s a pattern of evidence there. Or not. Everyone is conspiring together to make me go insane still adding shit about authorial intent on my post.

[icannotreadcursive]

I think part of the problem also is people conflating “interpretation of the text” with “the version of things I prefer to use when I create fanwork”.

The former tends to heavily shape the latter but they are not the same thing.

Maybe it would genuinely fit better, be more impactful or thematically resonant if the curtains were yellow, like you put in your fic. Maybe that really is a better call.

That doesn’t change the fact that the text says they’re blue.

[shieldmaiden-tabris]

Alright at this point no Star Wars writer other than Timothy Zahn should be allowed to touch Thrawn in current canon. Don't look at him, don't think about him, none of that. Don't even breathe in the blue man's direction. If you don't understand the fundamentals of his character, namely the primary force that drives and motivates him to do things, then do not have him do things!!! Create your own character to be the big bad!! Leave him alone.

[sins-of-a-gay-crow]

the thing they don't tell you about blorbos is that they fucking infect your mind and you cant stop thinking about them

everything is about the blorbo or blobros and everything will be and can be if you try hard enough