I Can't Even Read My Own Handwriting

Writer, film nerd, analyzer of media nonsense. Eiiri on Ao3. For my writing and art, check out @eiirisworkshop. I also run @thepromptfoundry where you’ll find monthly themed writing and art prompt lists.

[icannotreadcursive]

The Fanfic Author’s Guide to Metatext

Is available:

as a PDF (recommended and, this link only, now updated!)

as a tumblr text post (not recommended; it’s 13,000 words)

on Ao3 (where you can read it with whatever site skin you want, fully updated)

Enjoy! Happy fic’ing!

[bumblingbabooshka]

Vulcan teen on Vulcan [tiktok] saying "I have just lost track of my father in the grocery store." The camera turns to show the viewers the grocery store in which almost every single older middle-aged man has a bowlcut and long robes. Camera turns back to show the teen's face which is expressionless and yet communicates all it needs to.

[couch-of-friendship]

Tags by @eggtrolls

[peregyr]

chirp?

[whatevererr]

the thing about the one piece adaptation is that it doesn’t take itself seriously in the sense of trying to make things more realistic or grounded or grimdark but it DOES take itself seriously in the sense of everyone putting their whole pussy into treating cwazy hair stupid weapon silly name world as the reality the characters are in and one that has real emotional stakes and it kind of rules

[folly-of-alexandria]

J.K. Rowling posting Upskirt shots of trans women makes clear what we've always known.

Rowling believes that she has a right to commit sexual violence against women she believes don't deserve rights or safety.

Her response to receiving criticism on posting said upskirt was to essentially argue that the trans woman had it coming and as was basically asking for it because of what she was wearing.

There is no daylight between Rowling and the average shitheel rapist.

[dontneedyourheroact]

AGAIN. This woman started her transphobic crusade after meeting with JEFFREY EPSTEIN. She is stirring up a culture war to protect her rich pedo friends. Im not telling you to burn the HP merch you have, im telling you to STOP GIVING MONEY TO THE EPSTEIN CLASS

[stillnotmollified]

some of you weren’t around for the fan fiction dot net purge of 2002 (when they banned explicit content and mass-deleted thousands of fics) and the livejournal purge of 2007 (when they deleted hundreds of blogs, disproportionately targeting queer & kink content) and it shows

this kind of policing is why ao3 was created

remember, kids, the three laws of fandom are:

- don’t like; don’t read

- your kink is not my kink

- ship and let ship

[rembrandtswife]

your kink is not my kink *but your kink is okay* don't forget that part

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Young men today being SHOCKED and APPALLED that the girls they're dating are reading dark romance like the closet in my grandma's spare room wasn't totally chockers with Mills and Boon books when I was a kid. "Our generation is RUINED because the young women are reading NASTY PORN" if you saw the shit 50 year old women were reading in the nineties you'd hurl.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Props to all the people in the notes reminiscing about which specific old woman relative's book collection was their smutty fic awakening

[sandersstudies]

A lot of you on here sure don’t like the idea of making any kind of sacrifice for the benefit of others huh

[sandersstudies]

Some of you act like doing minor inconvenient acts of kindness is equivalent to donating a kidney as if it’s not those acts that form our communities and make the world go around.

[sandersstudies]

Return your grocery cart. If you’re able-bodied offer your seat to someone who is not. Help your friend move. Drive your sister to the airport. Make sure drunk people have a safe ride or walk home. Pet-sit for your coworker. Participate in a meal train. Volunteer in your area. That’s what friendship and community is about.

[sandersstudies]

[eiirisworkshop]

Day 19: Rent Party

For @thepromptfoundry’s Jazzy July

525 word Hazbin Hotel ficlet.

~

One of Mimzy’s friends had asked a favor, one that started with “Hey, you play piano, don’t you?”

The answer, of course, was yes, and Alastor was more than happy to show off his talents and earn a favor owed in turn at the same time. 

That’s how he’d wound up here, seated at a mostly-in-tune upright crammed into the corner of a second floor flat at the edge of the French Quarter, fingers dancing up and down the keys while neighbors and cousins and friends of the host cut a rug on the well-worn floor where they’d shoved all the furniture aside to make room. 

Even with the rearranging, things were tight. Stuffed into the corner with Alastor and the piano were a bassist, a clarinetist, and a lightskin girl with the voice of a whole praise choir. The dancers kept knocking shoulders and elbows and one fella had taken a booted heel to the ribs when another gent had swung his ladyfriend into a dip without enough care. The few guests not dancing had sucked themselves up against the walls best they could to keep out of the way—there were three girls stacked up in one chair to save space, laughing over their illicit glasses of giggle juice, and one particularly enterprising cool cat had draped himself across the top of a bookshelf to join the conversation going on between the couple who’d fitted themselves into the gap between the bookshelf, the shoved-aside sofa, and the wall. 

To be sure, if a fire marshal had walked in, someone would have gotten a fine and they all would have been subjected to a lecture likely containing the words “Triangle Shirtwaist Factory” before being sent home, but as things stood, the only so-called authority figure around was the dirty cop who’d helped bring in the booze, so no one was over worried about getting in trouble. 

And a packed house meant good money. There was a modest cover at the door, being collected by the tenant’s doe-eyed little sister, and a chicory can at the corner of the piano where guests were obligated to drop a few coins if they wanted to request a song, and welcome to drop a few if they liked a song. 

At the end of the night, once whatever guests hadn’t passed out in a convenient corner (or atop a questionable bit of furniture) had shuffled on home, all the cash would be counted, the tenant would take enough to cover his rent, whatever he’d spent on the party, and maybe a round or two of groceries, then the rest would be divided amongst the musicians who made the party worth coming to in the first place. 

They might not make much—though, given the crowd and the one fellow who kept thinking of songs to request, maybe they would—but as far as Alastor figured, every dime counted. He had plans, you see, and buying a building to convert into a radio station was going to take quite a chunk of change, but he’d rather bide his time saving up than find himself needing to throw rent parties of his own. 

[malibuklaus]

[galadriel1010]

Sometimes you get a brief glimpse into the American worldview and decide that you don't want to know.

[transcyberism]

I cannot stress enough that this meme is entirely literal. there's no reference or subtext you don't know. these are simply the objectively most popular works of art from each denomination.

[fluffysheeps]

Bumble sharks 🐝🦈

[eiirisworkshop]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Title: Tea Time Rated: M Length: ~ 1.5k Summary: Alastor and Rosie share some tea, in both senses of the phrase, and Alastor returns home to share some quality time with Angel.

Excerpt:

Tea time in Rosie’s private parlor always meant a healthy serving of gossip along with the drink, and plenty of snacks. 

“Naturally I told him I wouldn’t be doing that again and, sorry to say, he didn’t take it well,” Rosie said, stirring sugar into a fresh cup of tea. “Threw an absolute fit, which I had to clean up.”

“Oh, please tell me you ate his heart in the marketplace,” Alastor said with barely restrained mirth and popped an eyeball into his mouth. 

Rosie laughed. “Town square, but same difference!” Her laughter faded and she sipped her tea. “I envy you sometimes, you know.”

He tilted his head curiously. 

“There’s an awful lot of—well, there’s really nothing to call it but bullshit—to be avoided by simply not having a dog in the fight when it comes to affairs of the heart. And loins,” she added with a shrug. 

[eiirisworkshop]

An Old Guard fanvid to Bryan Adam’s “You Can’t Take Me” from Spirit Stallion of the Cimeron

[eiirisworkshop]

Radial art of luminous hearts.

(Available as a design on my Zazzle!)

[altonin-deactivated20180325]

if you want to actually start to end homelessness, you need to give homeless people unconditional homes, including when we use them to do drugs or sit around drinking. either housing is unconditional or it isn’t

someone sitting at home alone, an active alcoholic, squandering your charity, drinking all day is better situation than a street homeless alcoholic. someone using drugs in your charity house is better than them doing the same w no shelter

most of you would not like most street homeless people, I definitely don’t and didn’t when I was street homeless. for every one person who uses unconditional shelter to turn themselves around, someone else will do jack shit and very slowly, if ever, work through the issues that made them homeless, will maybe never be able to live independently. still better than street homelessness, still worth doing. ultimately either you believe that shelter should be universal or you don’t

homeless people actually can’t be rehabilitated if you want to end homelessness. we either affirm the right to shelter for the worst drunken, lying, filthy, cheating, self destructive homeless people that exist, genuinely irredeemable wankers, or we concede that shelter is not a right

[funereal-disease]

This post is the distilled essence of everything I believe in.

[analog-autistic]

we've definitely posted about this before but if i see one more person act like the only forms of childhood trauma that exist are abuse from family or sexual assault i will actually start crying and it will be so so so loud everyone will hear it from every corner of the earth

THE SCHOOL SYSTEM !!! PEER ABUSE !!!!! ISOLATION !!!!!!!! RACISM !!! SEXISM !!!!!! MEDICAL ABUSE !!!!!! NONCONSENSUAL SURGERY !!!! POVERTY !!!! SO MUCH MORE !!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[analog-autistic]

!!!!!

[virtuevistavalley]

Natural disasters! I never see anyone talk about that one and as a result I spent years thinking that watching my hometown get destroyed on the news and subsequently having to uproot my entire life at the age of seven wasn't Real Trauma because there was no Abuser™

[aevios]

[id= screenshot of tags that say "literally just having an untreated disability can cause trauma too" in all caps /end ID]

[allegedly-human]

nonsense words such as "blorbo" and "skibidi" are outliers and a minuscule minority and thus do not invalidate that statement