So, who was gonna tell me that ‘No Nightingales’ is a book about two ghosts preventing a war from happening, then being in a love-hate relationship and not talking to each other for 66 years in a house on Berkeley Square??
Last night I had a dream I woke up to find that my house had been turned into a Smart House with every wall being a digital screen including the roof so I could see it even laying on bed and the Siri voice said “Don’t worry. You are perfectly safe in your Apple Smart Home™️” knowing I have a BIG phobia of intruders especially at night and it continued with “Let’s explore the neighborhood from the comfort of your home” so it opened google maps and accidentally zoomed past a shitty jpeg of the girl from The Ring standing outside my house and it said “ignore that”. woke up laughing
This is INFINITE chickens, Neil. Chickens have taken over every space. Unending chickens. And they're angry at you, Neil. We ask again! How many chickens could you fight off before those descendants of the dinosaur defeat you and rule the Earth once again?
Infinite chickens? Nothing but chickens? No cars, no roads no houses? And the sea has obviously gone too because I'd otherwise suggest just heading out in a boat, as chickens can't swim. But without the seas I land or water I'm going to die of starvation and thirst pretty soon anyway.
Where are the infinite chickens coming from? The earth can only hold a finite number chickens after all.
Okay. How deep is the earth covered in the infinite chickens then? How many miles up does the chickening of the Earth gog? I would be killed immediately under the weight of infinite Chickens or even under the weight of millions of chickens, obviously. Do they reach the sun? Have they put out the sun? Is the universe, then nothing but infinite chickens, able to function in the airless cold and vacuum of outer space because this is a fantasy?
Let's say instead of infinite chickens it is a number of chickens which is practically indistinguishable from an infinitely self-renewing supply of chickens. Existing infrastructure does not get replaced by chickens. However, no one except you exists any longer, as they have all become chickens. What is your strategy, and how long can you survive the chickpocalypse? Also these chickens are capable of swimming, so as to maintain the initial conceit of the question, that being that the chickens are not meaningfully escapable.
I'm not seeing the word "barehanded" anywhere in the original question or in any of the follow-up questions, so I assume I am allowed a weapon.
And that I need to view these chickens as a self-sustaining poultry apocalypse.
Assuming that the chickens have replaced humans, then my weapon of choice were a 100 megaton Atomic Bomb, and that I could explode it over a city populated entirely by Chickens, I firmly believe I could immediately kill about 13 million chickens, and that radiation sickness would account for the death of a few million more chickens.
So about 16 million if the birds have replaced us.
sth about crowley not witnessing aziraphale blowing up his halo. sth about crowley believing that aziraphale is fully capable of defending himself and still wanting to protect him. sth about him going 'I know you're strong, I know you can fight but I also know you want peace. I would do the dirty work for you, if you want.' sth about them protecting each other from their dark moments. sth about crowley needing to see that side of aziraphale too, not just acknowledge it in theory. sth about needing to see each other's 'ugly' sides, the sides they don't like to show each other. sth about the mortifying ordeal of being known, I guess.
here's a little comic, it's not completely show!gomens compliant but its headcanons i enjoy
comic notes under cut :)
I enjoy Az already realising he likes Crowley by the time Adam appears but hasn't yet worked out what to do with that information bc acts-of-service Crowley Can't Talk, Wont Talk.
Crowley on the other hand has been VERY GOOD at ignoring why he spends so much of his time around Az so only on the crux of YOU'RE GOING TO LOOSE HIM did anything manage to force its way through to his brain. (i did not enjoy crowley being told he was in love with az in s2, i think he could have worked it out himself)
i rly enjoy hcs where they started sleeping together and with humans for fun (i mean the ox ribs scene sets some v good precedent for this) az sleeps with humans bc he indulges! he likes pleasure! crowely on the other hand is very bad at catching feelings and doesnt like it when they die so has mostly only slept with az (did i mention he's VERY good at ignoring his feelings) but they probably haven't slept together for a few hundred years when adam pops up.
my compliant show!hcs are still that az knows he loves crowley (i mean the scene with jim where he leaps out of the chair to attempt to protect crowley saying no he defo doesnt know ANYONE who he feels that way with, don't look closely at anyone he is with) and is just sort of sitting on it still, waiting for any hint from crowley, planning a ball definitely only for humans and no other reason. Crowley is obviously very protective of Az but he still hasn't clicked why he's worried about him but he doesn't have the excuse of heaven or hell anymore so it wouldn't have taken much for him to work it out (hello one of his first lines in s2 is "you ever think, what's the point?" the point is love you idiot)
(book!gomens is just they're already married and have been fucking for centuries but the book just doesnt mention that.)
a person online: i hate it when adults act like childish little freaks in public, smh. you’re an adult, you should be able to order your own food without help. get over yourself. also, why are some people, like, waaaaaaay too into the stuff that they like? omg, and the people who CLEARLY can’t even have one (1) normal conversation without acting Weird??? it’s embarrassing, u guys are embarrassing, get help
the same person five seconds later: we gotta remember to love and support the autistic community u guys <3
you know, in hindsight this reminds me of something
when i’m at work, people get mad at me for not hearing them the first few times. like, openly agitated. they’ll assume that i’m stupid, or rude, or careless. sometimes they will indirectly chastise me for ‘not paying attention.’ at which point i say “i’m sorry, i’m hard of hearing. you were on my right side and i’m severely deaf in that ear,” and they go “oh my god i’m so sorry i didn’t know.”
yeah. you didn’t, did you? the only available information you had about me was… that i didn’t hear you say something. the thing you hated enough to comment on was that i couldn’t hear you. you don’t get to backpedal once you find out that i have can’t-hear-well disease. i shouldn’t need to present a diagnosis to expect decency from you
if you attach negative characteristics to “didn’t hear what you said,” that will affect how you treat d/Deaf and hard of hearing people. if you attach negative characteristics like “weird and childish” to utterly harmless and well established autistic traits like “doesn’t make eye contact,” that will affect how you treat autistic people. it’s not rocket science
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