Down with The Moles

[scribeherself]

There is no drug on earth that can replicate the absolute euphoria of hitting a writing flow state at 2:00 AM. You aren’t even typing anymore. You are a vessel. You are a channel for the gods. The characters are speaking directly into your brain and you’re just the stenographer trying to keep up. You feel like you could fight a bear. You feel like you invented the alphabet

[apricops]

as part of their ongoing boycott, Canada will no longer provide the US with totally real long-distance girlfriends who definitely exist

[speedlimit15]

grocery store mission barely accomplished took massive damage to the hull and all internal systems. shield repair could take days

[theythembobdylan]

this is my one wild and precious life fucckkkkkkk fuckkkkkk fucckcckkkkkkk

[dreadwedge]

for sale. shoes baby. yuppp the baby is made of shoes. dont want it. it is not right. babies are not supposed to be composed of that

[calebwittebane]

you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for an amazing reason

[noahseby]

theyre going to shoot me out back tomorrow and i will enjoy it

[great-and-small]

Yeah okay there are like 11 species of heron native to the USA and yes fine I’ve only managed to spot 10 of those species. You might think I’m bitter about that one species evading me but I’m not. I’m actually the Least Bittern person about it in the entire world

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[glyphsmash]

whenever i eat a fruit salad it makes me feel like im someone's pet lizard and its my birthday

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[there-is-still-some-liquor-left]

a body count not as in homicide nor as in sexuality but as in the trail of people from my childhood and adolescence i should’ve been a better friend to and taken better care of but i was too busy being caught up in my own heartache to recognize their own and therefore our relationship tapered off in an extremely unsatisfying way that continuously manifests itself as a thrumming sense of grief in my chest. anyway which restaurant chains have the best free pre-meal bread?

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[jeeyonshim]

an editor's job is to keep you humble

[dreadwedge]

I looked inside the midnight cone once and there was a single star lodged in the tip of it and the rest was just black. I heard cone mother’s footsteps in the next room so I pulled my head out of the cone quick so she wouldn’t see. But I bumped it too hard as I did and the star got unstuck and fell down into the bottom of the cone and illuminated the whole thing. When cone mother entered the room she said “daughter, what are you doing with the noon cone in the midnight room. Put it back where it belongs.” So I did. And I took the real noon cone and hid it in the closet. And later after she had gone to bed I snuck into the twilight room, which is always host to a preponderance of cones. And I taped up the bottom of a twilight cone so no light would escape and took it into the midnight room to replace the midnight cone. But the twilight cone doesn’t have a star in it. And I worry that one day cone mother will look inside and realize what I did.

[sadclowncentral]

just showed the gate agent the Wikipedia article for Mussels instead of my boarding pass. don't text

[junk-thunder]

[citation not needed. no prablem]