The Fifth Stage is Acceptance | Izo
She vaguely gets what Izo’s getting at but it seems useless to follow that conversation. He probably doesn’t want to talk about it. And it’s hardly a great subject. Don’t look too deeply into your dead schoolmate or fellow patient, as it were’s eyes. It actually makes her wonder if she could even do that. Had she ever looked into one of their eyes after the fact before? It was weird, the things this place made you think about. The emptier it got in here, the more she wondered how she’d ever acted. And what anything had ever meant. But that kinda deep thinking has no place in an investigation. And now Katashi’s here. Boop, boop.
Ah, this feels right. Perfect, even! Every good book has a trio - a duo is okay, but it’s always missing that final piece. Like this, fake and electric though he might be, things feel better. And that’s what’s always really mattered, hasn’t it? What’s better. As Katashi speaks she feels prick after prick, pain and feelings she opts to ignore for a variety of reasons. Be-si-de-s~ she was the one who called him here, she couldn’t just send him away. They had a mission, anyhow, and that was the priority here.
“There’s no time, Miyashita-chi! Niki’s dead and we have to find some evidence before the trial, you know how it is!”
All too well does he know how it is. AI or not.
“I can’t believe she’s gone but… all we can do for her is find out who did this. And move on. And live, right?”
It’s kind of her way of adding in a motivational speech since Katashi’s so bad at it and Izo seems to be a bit in his own world. Not that she can blame either of them. Both are pretty normal things, all things considered. But she has to keep it up. Losing hope is just… not an option. With a skip in her step she heads towards the Break Room and leans on the door to keep it open as she trots in front of Izo with a bit too much pep.
“How about a break? Kukuku. Just a joke! But let’s check it out, anyway.”
She didn’t use to make jokes about it. At least, she can’t remember doing that. That was more Yasu’s thing… or no, Izo’s, even. Maybe this would bring some life back to him, though.
“While I must admit that your voice is not in fact, music to my ears, it is nice to know you seem to be doing well enough, Miyashita-san.”
He gave Nijino a look resembling ‘there’s no time for breaks’ until she stated it was a joke, causing his features to soften up once more. All he managed was a halfhearted smile, though. Perhaps if she kept them coming things would brighten up.
Izo didn’t want to exactly ruin the mood by commenting that perhaps the crook took a break before continuing, as it was the second thing that came to mind, so he just remained silent for now.
“Hmm…it feels like we were just here, were we not? And yet now it is a mess. A fine mess, the floor is. But I suppose now isn’t the time to cry over spilled coffee.” A very dry laugh, but he was trying at least, for Nijino’s sake if anyone’s.
The boy couldn’t fathom what happened here. A struggle or just an accident? And leaving it all spilled sure wasn’t nice. He carefully tried not to step in any as he went to go examine the lockers.
Their voices and their eyes. . . It weighed down on those virtual shoulders of his. His sins always seemed to roll down his back. He never expected to be forgiven for his actions. Even to this moment, he remembered every gruesome detail of that night. It replayed over and over in his mind endlessly, eternally as a constant reminder of the fact that a monster like him was the only person who could create a monstrosity. Hah. It’s okay. Not to murder, no, he knew he went far too far with that. Nothing could ever wash that pain off.
Katashi Miyashita found comfort within being a hated person. Not in that way, now that he thinks of it. It doesn’t make him feel better tht everyone despised his exitence, even the meer whisper of his name or glance of his eyes. Rather, it felt typical. Like he could accept it. Like he could live with it (as far as living was in an eternal fake electronic prison). Was he truly Katashi Miyashita? The AI had his face and the memories the living one salvaged in his existence. But no, people couldn’t be saved like that. He wanted death as that punishment. All he could do now was carry out whatever whims the astrophysicist had left.
But none of that. He wasn’t a person anymore. Just a tool. A tool left behind to be used like this or give some sort of half baked comfort that those alive definitely wouldn’t believe.
“That’s all any of you can do anymore. . .” He wanted to say more, but he wasn’t sure if it was exactly what they needed. C’mon, Katashi, all you have to do is make up some positive reassuring mumbo jumbo. “But as long as you all keep on living, it won’t be for nothing. Just keep your head up? Or is it don’t look down? . . . Do both.”
Ah. Jokes. Comedy. An attempt at making the miserable seem not as bad by poking fun at it. Not his way of approaching things, but it seemed to work for the others, so he didn’t say much. Izo’s words both stabbed him sharply and also did nothing to pierce his skin. While he did have a slimmer of hope that they could treat him like a normal person again, it’s not like he didn’t expect a fair amount of distaste from the living.
“I’m surprised either of you would even face me again. I’d give you all a much deeper apology, but I wouldn’t like it to be hollow sounding and rushed now while we are tasked with something more urgent. Preliminary, I am deeply sorry.”
It’s difficultly to determine the genuine tone in his voice, but perhaps some remnant of it is there behind the monotonous aura of the screen. His eyes avoid the two, mostly out of complete shame. Okay, the mood’s too serious Miyashita. Crack a joke, quickly. They’re doing it, how hard could it be to come up with a witty observation?
“. . . Looks like someone had to pay a cof-fee.”
Fucking atrocious.
Anyways, he reverted back to being silent as the weight of that absolutely terrible joke sank in. The letter inside the locker interests him the most, given he can actually do something to help there. Hopefully they let him read it without him having to struggle with his tiny AI capabilities.
“. . . The first one. The letter must be referring to the hidden room on the first floor, right? That’s where Shimamoto was killed. Should we head there?”
