I was starting to consider coming back to rp here, but I think I'm going to stay on my hiatus for awhile longer. I'm tired of coming on my blogs and trying really hard to connect with people, but still see an empty inbox and threads no one cares about. Or they say they want to thread and then never answer my messages. But that's not why I'm staying on my hiatus.
I'm tired of seeing people compain that no one cares about them or their blog when people are obviously talking to them. That's what originally made me leave Hitomi's blog in the first place and come to Haruka's, but alas, negativity galore. I understand people suffer from depression. I do too. I understand people have anxiety and freak out wondering if people actually like them. I do too. I understand people live in shitty households where close family members tell them they're worthless almost every day, possibly every day. I did too. But when you're having people come talk to you, when you have people responding to your threads, it is rude and disrespectful when you go off for days saying that no one cares about your blog when obviously other people do. I don't seek out attention. I could whine and cry about how I've been angry and hurt and upset that people would say they really want to rp with me and then just ignore my existence. I could say "What's the point of me even being here if no one gives a shit?" and post really shitty vague blog posts just to guilt trip people into paying attention to me. But I don't.
I've been feeling like this for several months now, that being one of the reasons I've disappeared off and on again. I'm not trying to get attention with this post, nor am I going "woe is me." I'm just stating my feelings. That's it. If you want to unfollow me, go ahead. If you want to send me shitty messages, that just proves my point, honestly. I have a few friends here that I care about dearly, but really? The drama isn't worth it to me, and I shouldn't be made to feel this way.
