Suzume Shiratori

Super High School Level News Reporter. Currently affiliated with Islands of Despair.

[monobearworld]

Hung up

For some reason, Horror land seemed especially suspicious this morning. The time was 11am, and most of the students had already woken up. Rin Amane was walking around the park when Jacques barked at the entrance of Horror Land. Soon, he was running in the direction of something suspicious, so of course, Rin had to follow.  Soon, Jacques had stopped in front of frightening water boat roller coaster ride. In front of him, Chiemi Shinozaki and Eri Narukami held hands while noosed separately by their necks. Being only inches from the ground, Those of a decent height might be able to untie them, but they had to act fast. Jacques kept barking, for a dog couldn’t take care of them himself, after all. He seemed quite concerned for both girls, as they still appeared to be breathing.  Chiemi and Eri were choking quite successfully from the nooses. Although they could have hung higher, their tiny bodies were held without issue. Even though they both looked distressed, none of them wished to be untied. After all, they could both meet back with Kazuki and Mien, right? It was worth a try. A pact that they decided upon the night before.  …Would Rin be able to save them?

[shsl-dog-trainer-deactivated201]

The shock of the sight was enough to make Rin nearly throw up. What the—? This is impossible! Jacques continued whining at the two as Rin stared at them, utterly helpless and dumbfounded. Then, the synapses in her brain connected and she realized this wasn’t a monobear execution. They were still breathing and there was a chance for her to save them. That was enough for hope to push the despair out of her mind. “JACQUES, SHEPHERD.” On command, the dog ran off to attempt to get some sort of help from whatever students he could herd. Okay, Rin. You’re back in your right mind. Stay calm. Stay calm. You have to keep a level head. The girl continued to glance around the horror land. There had to be something sharp. A knife, a spear, any sort of prop that would work!?

“Don’t leave me now, you two!” She dashed inside a nearby haunted house and frantically began looking left and right for something of use. That was when she saw someone and screamed. What in the name of— Oh, phew. It was only her reflection. Wait, a mirror would…

The dog trainer dashed outside with the mirror in hand. She threw it on the ground to shatter it into pieces. Noticing one that was a near perfect size for this situation, she gripped the shard and dashed toward the two. Fuck fuck fuck, they still had time, didn’t they? The girl ran and leapt toward Eri, gripping just above the noose with one hand and slashing the rope with the other. As soon as her friend was down on the ground, she turned to Chiemi and did the same. Panting, she stared at the two and felt a few hot tears streaming down her face. She wasn’t too late, right? She couldn’t be too late! The girl dropped the shard, and didn’t even realize how deep it had cut into her hand in the heat of the moment. She fell on her knees in front of her two friends and held her face in her hands. She was terrified that she had been too late to save them, but at the same time, the girl was glad for the fact that she was able to feel terrified again.

[shslreporter]

Suzume was sitting outside on a picnic bench, staring contemplatively at her notebook, when the sound of Jacques's barking startled her out of her reverie. She glanced up and saw the enormous dog trotting toward her, tongue lolling out of his mouth.

"Hey there, boy! What're you doing wandering around without Rin, huh?" 

She reached out to ruffle his ears, only for him to dodge her hand and bark again, more insistently. She blinked. Suzume had never owned a dog before - cats had always been more her speed - but barking meant that it was upset about something, right? Upset or excited. Or maybe he just wanted her to play with him? She set down her pen and looked at Jacques quizzically.

He stepped closer and whined, tugging at her sleeve with his teeth.

"Do you...want me to follow you?" she asked hesitantly. 

(Why the hell was she talking out loud to a dog?)

Jacques barked once more and gave another, very deliberate tug. Okay. Was that a yes? It was probably a yes. She stood up, leaving her notebook and pen lying on the table. 

"Okay, boy, let's go!"

At that, Jacques promptly broke into a sprint in the direction from which he'd come. 

Following the dog made her feel vaguely ridiculous, like a character in a corny old children's movie - she half-expected him to lead her to where Rin was stuck in a well - but she did it anyway. Why the hell not? This place was beyond insane to begin with; might as well throw some Lassie in there to get all the weirdness bases covered.

By the time she reached the scene, she was out of breath and worried.

When she actually saw what was happening, her heart nearly stopped.

She took it all in very quickly: the severed lengths of rope hanging from the metal support beams of the roller coaster, Eri and Chiemi on the ground, and Rin kneeling over them with her face in her hands.

"Oh no. No no no no no. Shit!"

She dropped to her knees beside Rin, heart hammering in her chest. Was this her fault? She'd fought with Eri the other day, called her names and shouted at her when she needed a friend. If this was because of that - if Eri died because of her - 

She pressed two fingers to the side of Eri's neck and was relieved to feel the other girl's pulse still thudding away. A similar inspection of Chiemi yielded the same result. They were alive, despite their best efforts not to be. That was good. She turned to Jacques, ready to order him to go find more students, but he was already off and running. 

Turning her attention back to the girls on the ground, she unknotted the severed nooses still hanging around their necks and and discarded them off to the side. 

"You did good," she panted to Rin. "Cutting them down, I mean."

She leaned over Eri and Chiemi, brows furrowed. "Hey. Are you two okay?"

[shsl-cartographer]

黑夜給了我黑色的眼睛 (我確用它尋找光明)

[shsl-cartographer]

-

As Suzume continued their almost-eulogy, Takumi clasped his hands behind him, head lowered a bit in a respectfully fashion. How the hell had even come to this, where the tiny funeral they were now putting on was the most anyone had ever gotten in the park? Not that the dead were there to see it, but…still. Maybe he was just hanging on to the social conventions of a world that was slowly beginning to fade in his memories, but Takumi felt like it was a decent thing to do.

It was a shame, though, that they had only managed it for Kazuki. The victims couldn’t get anything, their bodies used as evidence and then taken by Monobear. Takumi idly wondered if the corpses were still in the park somewhere. Kazuki had found Soh’s for the last case. Maybe they could give everyone a proper burial after all. Takumi figured the deceased would probably want them to focus on getting out (that’s how he would feel, after all), but it would be nice, wouldn’t it?

Takumi brought himself out of his musings with a small smile. “I feel as if we should blow a thing up, or at least something along those lines. Jurou-san would probably like that.” He even managed to laugh at that, somehow. The constant deaths still hurt him, numbness apparently not settling in for Takumi. But he couldn’t keep crying, now could he? This place didn’t kill them with knives or pipes or anything like that, but instead with a slow progression of…apathy. Or something like that, at least.

They were silent as the grave was filled in. What else was there to say, after all? Takumi felt his breathing settle back to normal, finally free of the ragged gasping that digging had given him. How many other people would end up like that? Was there anything Takumi could do to stop it? If not…was he going to be able to swing it? Keep going, even though his numbness hadn’t set it?

That was probably a question for another day, wasn’t it? Takumi reflexively took his glasses of to clean them when he saw Suzume doing it and realized just how much grime had collected on his spectacles. But there really wasn’t anything on him that was clean enough for the job, and besides, he probably needed water to fully get the flecks of blood off.

What now? There was a question. They had to keep moving forward, he figured. But how to do that was another thing altogether, and Takumi didn’t really know the answer. Was he supposed to go comfort people so another incident like the one with Eri didn’t happen? Or was he supposed to go hit up every door in the entire damn park? Maybe the radio and star chart were his best bet?

Ah. Those were away from the cameras too, weren’t they? A good place to regain his bearings.

“I…I don’t really know.” Takumi responded honestly. No point in lying to Suzume. “There’s about a hundred different things going on right now, and I’m a little…you know,” He gestured to all of him. “Anyway, are you up for taking a bit of a walk, Suzume?”

[shslreporter]

Suzume couldn’t help but laugh - probably a little too hard, considering the circumstances - at the idea of explosions at Kazuki’s funeral. Yeah, that sounded like something he would want: explosions and guitar solos all the way. He’d had a flare for the dramatic right up until the end. 

“Of course,” she agreed when he suggested a walk. “Anything you want.”

What she really wanted was a shower, a change of clothes and a good, long sleep before she had to wake up in the morning and deal with the universe again, but if Takumi wanted to go for a walk, then that was what she would do. One of the funny things about being in love with someone was the sudden willingness you developed to put them first; to let them in when you would rather shut yourself in your room for the rest of your life, to go walking with them when you were miserable and emotionally exhausted.

She would have held his hand, but that probably wasn’t a fantastic idea right now, with his bleeding palms still unbandaged and her own covered in dirt. Instead, she took his arm and smiled.

“Lead the way.”

[shsl-cartographer]

Takumi nodded and let Suzume take his arm. To be totally honest, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to walk that well without someone there to support him. God, after tonight Takumi was going to get into his bed and never leave it. Except of course he was going to and of course he had other things to do. But right now the idea of sleeping for the whole day was something to look forward to. Actually getting up in the morning was a problem for another day.

And it was probably not best to touch her with his hands. They were a little…yeah. Maybe he should think about a shower too, before going to sleep. Then again, he might drown. Takumi wondered when his life had gotten to the point where those were thoughts that he was having. Life was different here.

Takumi led on as best as he could, heading up to the roof of the hotel. Everything he had put there before seemed untouched. The transmitter was still there, and Takumi had even managed to rig up a little recorder to tab out Morse code. SOS. The charts were resting under the radio, two pens near them, pens that Takumi had used to mark up the charts a couple of times.

“I’ve been coming up here from time to time. I just have a little transmitter that’s been going on for a couple days,” he gestured to it. “and a couple of maps of the stars.” He smiled lightly. “Not my usual type of map, but I’m used to similar things enough that I can handle them.”

He looked at the chart and glanced up at the sky. “This has been the first clear night in a while. I was doing my best before, but now that I can see clearly, I think I can say for sure that we’re in the northern hemisphere. I’d do more work today, but it seems like it’ll be clear tomorrow as well. I’ll be able to get some sleep tonight.”

Takumi looked at Suzume and smiled again, a legitimate smile, not wavering or small, like it usually was. “Thank you for coming with me, Suzume. I…I’m a little t-twitchy around heights, and I’m not feeling quite great in general right now.”

He let the last reason hang in the air. It was best to have someone else knowing about this stuff, someone he could trust. Just in case the worst happened.

“Anyway, I bet you probably want to go get ready for sleep around now, Suzume. I’m sorry for making you come with me.”

[shslreporter]

Suzume thought she'd investigated every section of the park diligently, but for some reason it had never occurred to her to look on the roof. After all, she'd thought, who would ever have a reason to go up there?

Takumi would, apparently. Takumi had. If it was anyone else, she might have been a little galled that he'd thought of something she hadn't. As it was, she had to admit she was deeply impressed.

"Wow," she breathed, kneeling next to the makeshift radio. "You did this all by yourself? That's amazing, Takumi."

Again - just like that time on the first day when she'd leaned over his shoulder to watch him map the park - she was struck by a pang that was half-envy, half-awe. She'd never been much good at making things with her hands. 

More than anything, she was touched that he would share this with her. Maybe Takumi had more faith in people than she did, wasn't as naturally suspicious as she was, but he must still know the risk of showing something like this to another person. If the bear ever found out about it - and who was to say that the mastermind wasn't one of them, that there weren't more spies like Kazuki in their midst - there was no doubt that Takumi would quickly find his little transmitter smashed to pieces and himself hauled up in front of the others for some gruesome punishment. By showing this to her, he was letting her in on a secret. 

...she felt as though she ought to cross her heart, or something, to promise she would keep it.

The look she gave him when he apologized for bringing her up here was as exasperated as it was affectionate. He ought to know by now that he was never a nuisance to her, and that if she wanted an apology from anyone she would demand it rather than wait for it.

"Don't apologize," she said. "This is - this is really, really great. And I'm really glad you showed me." 

As if to illustrate her point, she leaned down and gave him a quick, clumsy peck on the lips. It was a little awkward, unwilling as she was to actually put her hands on him right now, but still. 

"Sleep sounds good," she admitted wearily. Honestly, it sounded like the best thing in the world. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

It shouldn't be a question, really, but it was here. Even without a motive in play, even right after a trial, every time you saw a person might be the last time you saw them. If she had it her way, she might just move into his room to make sure nothing happened to him overnight. 

[shsl-cartographer]

黑夜給了我黑色的眼睛 (我確用它尋找光明)

[shsl-cartographer]

Takumi actually laughed at that. A rather quiet little laugh, not really like the ones he was used to making. And it sounded almost foreign to him, like someone else was laughing and Takumi was just there to hear it. It was just another way this place had managed to twist him into something different, then. Takumi’s sense of humor had always been a bit off, but he had possessed one, strange as it had been. Now, it was an oddity that he found something humorous, that he could still feel that emotion.

“Yeah, it’s good to have a back up plan. All I need to learn is how to be a better cook, and then it’ll be perfect. They’ll have to change my title to super high school level househusband.” And yet somehow Takumi was still able to crack dumb jokes. The more he realized how much he had changed, it seemed the more he realized how much of himself really hadn’t.

This was a weird time to be joking, but what else were they supposed to do? Takumi had cried enough tears today, lost friendships, realized that he was stuck taking responsibility when he really wasn’t the kind of guy who made major choices and handled burdens like that. And at the end of the day, more than anything, he wanted to believe that they all could make it, that they would keep themselves together that they weren’t fractured beyond all repair. Especially Suzume.

He turned to look at the bucket, being careful not to really glance inside. It had been enough to fill the thing and carry it around; Takumi didn’t see any need to keep seeing the proof of the sleuth’s demise. Maybe he should look. Maybe he should be strong enough to come to terms with what happened, to accept that some of them died and that some of them might still die. But Takumi allowed himself to be selfish for the time being, to avoid looking at the blood and left-over impressions of death.

“I-I got this.” He managed to get out after a little effort. Takumi had been the one to collect the pieces, so it was only fair that he’d have to do this too.

Responsibilities, burdens, whatever. You had to get used to them if you were ever going to be a decent person. It was like back home when he had given blood, when he nervously warned the nurse that he might be fidgety or might yelp a little. After a while, it got easier, he got a bit less pale, a bit less jumpy, a bit better in general. An adult should learn to face their fears.

Takumi picked up the bucket and slowly lowered it into the hole they had dug, being careful not to slip. Falling into the thing was…not exactly a happy prospect. He managed to get the thing set down on the bottom, his cleaning bucket serving as a makeshift casket. He could always get a new bucket, Takumi figured. Dumping the remains out was a bit too much for him.

He got back up slowly, because Takumi still fearing falling into the hole, despite how low the chances of that seemed. He lightly tossed a flower into the bucket (that was what people sometimes did to caskets during normal funerals, he vaguely recalled), trying his best to take a short glance into the thing.

“I suppose we should say a few words, then…” Takumi noted softly. That also was what people did at funerals, right? He didn’t really know what to say, though. Takumi wasn’t exactly a poet. “I guess…I didn’t really understand you at lot of the time, Jurou-san. But you managed to pull one over that bastard, so good on you.” He felt himself grinning at that one slightly. “So yeah. Thanks Jurou-san. I’m glad we got to be friends.”

[shslreporter]

Takumi may not have been able to look at the contents of the bucket, but Suzume had a natural curiosity and absolutely no sense of what was good for her. She looked - and had to take a deep breath to stop herself from retching. So that was what it came down to, in the end. All his strutting, all his fumbling attempts at making friends, whatever he’d felt for Chiemi…it was just this, now.

She blinked back tears, feeling suddenly and inexplicably angry. He wasn’t supposed to have done that. He was supposed to be on her side until the end; infuriating and pompous and adversarial, but her friend nonetheless. 

As Takumi delivered his faltering eulogy, Suzume bowed her head and folded her hands in front of her. She was not a great believer in rituals like this one - there was no afterlife, as far as she was concerned, so talking to a dead person was about as useful as talking to a tree stump - but it seemed the respectful thing to do. When he finished, she paused for a long moment, contemplating the remains of the sleuth.

“I wish we could’ve been better friends,” she said finally. ”I know I wasn’t always very nice to you, but you were smart as hell and…and things are going to be tougher without you around.”

There. That was honest without being cruel. She could live with herself having said that.

Filling in the hole was much easier than digging it had been; she watched Kazuki’s makeshift casket disappear under spadefuls of dirt until it vanished entirely. And that was that. She felt like they ought to have done more, somehow, but what more was there to do? They had said their goodbyes, they’d put him in the ground, and…that was it. The less-than-epic conclusion to the life of Kazuki Jurou.

(The rest is silence.)

She took off her glasses and wiped at her eyes with a mostly-clean sleeve before replacing them and turning back to Takumi.

“…so what now?”

[shsl-cartographer]

As Suzume continued their almost-eulogy, Takumi clasped his hands behind him, head lowered a bit in a respectfully fashion. How the hell had even come to this, where the tiny funeral they were now putting on was the most anyone had ever gotten in the park? Not that the dead were there to see it, but…still. Maybe he was just hanging on to the social conventions of a world that was slowly beginning to fade in his memories, but Takumi felt like it was a decent thing to do.

It was a shame, though, that they had only managed it for Kazuki. The victims couldn’t get anything, their bodies used as evidence and then taken by Monobear. Takumi idly wondered if the corpses were still in the park somewhere. Kazuki had found Soh’s for the last case. Maybe they could give everyone a proper burial after all. Takumi figured the deceased would probably want them to focus on getting out (that’s how he would feel, after all), but it would be nice, wouldn’t it?

Takumi brought himself out of his musings with a small smile. “I feel as if we should blow a thing up, or at least something along those lines. Jurou-san would probably like that.” He even managed to laugh at that, somehow. The constant deaths still hurt him, numbness apparently not settling in for Takumi. But he couldn’t keep crying, now could he? This place didn’t kill them with knives or pipes or anything like that, but instead with a slow progression of…apathy. Or something like that, at least.

They were silent as the grave was filled in. What else was there to say, after all? Takumi felt his breathing settle back to normal, finally free of the ragged gasping that digging had given him. How many other people would end up like that? Was there anything Takumi could do to stop it? If not…was he going to be able to swing it? Keep going, even though his numbness hadn’t set it?

That was probably a question for another day, wasn’t it? Takumi reflexively took his glasses of to clean them when he saw Suzume doing it and realized just how much grime had collected on his spectacles. But there really wasn’t anything on him that was clean enough for the job, and besides, he probably needed water to fully get the flecks of blood off.

What now? There was a question. They had to keep moving forward, he figured. But how to do that was another thing altogether, and Takumi didn’t really know the answer. Was he supposed to go comfort people so another incident like the one with Eri didn’t happen? Or was he supposed to go hit up every door in the entire damn park? Maybe the radio and star chart were his best bet?

Ah. Those were away from the cameras too, weren’t they? A good place to regain his bearings.

“I…I don’t really know.” Takumi responded honestly. No point in lying to Suzume. “There’s about a hundred different things going on right now, and I’m a little…you know,” He gestured to all of him. “Anyway, are you up for taking a bit of a walk, Suzume?”

[shslreporter]

Suzume couldn't help but laugh - probably a little too hard, considering the circumstances - at the idea of explosions at Kazuki's funeral. Yeah, that sounded like something he would want: explosions and guitar solos all the way. He'd had a flare for the dramatic right up until the end. 

"Of course," she agreed when Takumi suggested a walk. "Anything you want."

What she really wanted was a shower, a change of clothes and a good, long sleep before she had to wake up in the morning and deal with the universe again, but if Takumi wanted to go for a walk, then that was what she would do. One of the funny things about being in love with someone was the sudden willingness you developed to put them first; to let them in when you would rather shut yourself in your room for the rest of your life, to go walking with them when you were miserable and emotionally exhausted.

She would have held his hand, but that probably wasn't a fantastic idea right now, with his bleeding palms still unbandaged and her own covered in dirt. Instead, she took his arm and smiled.

"Lead the way."

[shsl-cartographer]

黑夜給了我黑色的眼睛 (我確用它尋找光明)

[shsl-cartographer]

Takumi actually laughed at that. A rather quiet little laugh, not really like the ones he was used to making. And it sounded almost foreign to him, like someone else was laughing and Takumi was just there to hear it. It was just another way this place had managed to twist him into something different, then. Takumi’s sense of humor had always been a bit off, but he had possessed one, strange as it had been. Now, it was an oddity that he found something humorous, that he could still feel that emotion.

“Yeah, it’s good to have a back up plan. All I need to learn is how to be a better cook, and then it’ll be perfect. They’ll have to change my title to super high school level househusband.” And yet somehow Takumi was still able to crack dumb jokes. The more he realized how much he had changed, it seemed the more he realized how much of himself really hadn’t.

This was a weird time to be joking, but what else were they supposed to do? Takumi had cried enough tears today, lost friendships, realized that he was stuck taking responsibility when he really wasn’t the kind of guy who made major choices and handled burdens like that. And at the end of the day, more than anything, he wanted to believe that they all could make it, that they would keep themselves together that they weren’t fractured beyond all repair. Especially Suzume.

He turned to look at the bucket, being careful not to really glance inside. It had been enough to fill the thing and carry it around; Takumi didn’t see any need to keep seeing the proof of the sleuth’s demise. Maybe he should look. Maybe he should be strong enough to come to terms with what happened, to accept that some of them died and that some of them might still die. But Takumi allowed himself to be selfish for the time being, to avoid looking at the blood and left-over impressions of death.

“I-I got this.” He managed to get out after a little effort. Takumi had been the one to collect the pieces, so it was only fair that he’d have to do this too.

Responsibilities, burdens, whatever. You had to get used to them if you were ever going to be a decent person. It was like back home when he had given blood, when he nervously warned the nurse that he might be fidgety or might yelp a little. After a while, it got easier, he got a bit less pale, a bit less jumpy, a bit better in general. An adult should learn to face their fears.

Takumi picked up the bucket and slowly lowered it into the hole they had dug, being careful not to slip. Falling into the thing was…not exactly a happy prospect. He managed to get the thing set down on the bottom, his cleaning bucket serving as a makeshift casket. He could always get a new bucket, Takumi figured. Dumping the remains out was a bit too much for him.

He got back up slowly, because Takumi still fearing falling into the hole, despite how low the chances of that seemed. He lightly tossed a flower into the bucket (that was what people sometimes did to caskets during normal funerals, he vaguely recalled), trying his best to take a short glance into the thing.

 “I suppose we should say a few words, then…” Takumi noted softly. That also was what people did at funerals, right? He didn’t really know what to say, though. Takumi wasn’t exactly a poet. “I guess…I didn’t really understand you at lot of the time, Jurou-san. But you managed to pull one over that bastard, so good on you.” He felt himself grinning at that one slightly. “So yeah. Thanks Jurou-san. I’m glad we got to be friends.”

[shslreporter]

Takumi may not have been able to look at the contents of the bucket, but Suzume had a natural curiosity and absolutely no sense of what was good for her. She looked - and had to take a deep breath to stop herself from retching. So that was what it came down to, in the end. All his strutting, all his fumbling attempts at making friends, whatever he'd felt for Chiemi...it was just this, now.

She blinked back tears, feeling suddenly and inexplicably angry. He wasn't supposed to have done that. He was supposed to be on her side until the end; infuriating and pompous and adversarial, but her friend nonetheless. 

As Takumi delivered his faltering eulogy, Suzume bowed her head and folded her hands in front of her. She was not a great believer in rituals like this one - there was no afterlife, as far as she was concerned, so talking to a dead person was about as useful as talking to a tree stump - but it seemed the respectful thing to do. When he finished, she paused for a long moment, contemplating the remains of the sleuth.

"I wish we could've been better friends," she said finally. "I know I wasn't always very nice to you, but you were smart as hell and...and things are going to be tougher without you around."

There. That was honest without being cruel. She could live with herself having said that.

Filling in the hole was much easier than digging it had been; she watched Kazuki's makeshift casket disappear under spadefuls of dirt until it vanished entirely. And that was that. She felt like they ought to have done more, somehow, but what more was there to do? They had said their goodbyes, they'd put him in the ground, and...that was it. The less-than-epic conclusion to the life of Kazuki Jurou.

(The rest is silence.)

She took off her glasses and wiped at her eyes with a mostly-clean sleeve before replacing them and turning back to Takumi.

"...so what now?"

[shsl-cartographer]

黑夜給了我黑色的眼睛 (我確用它尋找光明)

[shsl-cartographer]

Takumi’s mental state at the current point was rather strange. He seemed to swing between being splintered and broken, but generally alright, and just wanting to lie down and give up. Expendable. It didn’t help that he was honestly coming to terms with the fact that as his friends either died or broke ties with him, he was ending up functionally alone. He didn’t really understand why Suzume still cared about him, still wanting anything to do with him after all of this madness. But he was infinitely grateful for it. 

His eyes were stinging with tears, but wiping them would just contaminate his eyes with the filth. So Takumi just blinked until his sight went clear again. Well, mostly clear. His sight was still kind of spinning, although not having to dig at the current point actually helped him see a lot better. A little rest would probably do him some good. Takumi would be sure to get on that at some point tonight, after this burial.

“It’s…not my best day, either.” Takumi bit his lip. So something had happened between Eri and Suzume, then? He had been mad earlier when they talked, fair enough. However, that had been mostly due to his own failures. But for the first time, he actually truly felt angry at the other girl. Fine, whatever, Takumi hadn’t acted in the best way and had brought that upon himself. But what the hell had Suzume told to deserve shunning at a time like this?

“Eri…doesn’t quite want much to do with me, either.” Takumi tried to keep his voice level. That wound was still fresh, and he didn’t really like talking about it. Still, he didn’t want to hide things from Suzume, and he didn’t want her to real like she was alone in this. “Anyway,” He switched the subject and managed a quick smile. “You’re probably right, and I look like something half-chewed out, huh?”

He winced as she took the shovel from him, his fingers stinging a little at the sudden release of pressure. After a second, however, the pain faded and it felt heavenly. This whole thing was funny, really. It was like Takumi only had a certain amount of good fortune, an amount that didn’t go up or down. And so when things got very bad, it just made him realize how lucky he was to have someone like Suzume there for him.

He watched as the grave was dug, curling his fingers up and back again until they returned to almost normal. It was strange that at some point in this whole kidnapping experience, he had become the sort of person who would pick up someone’s served head and limbs and then have them buried. Takumi had no idea what that said about him, if it was something he should be worried about. It felt wrong and sickening, but he still had done it. So…What the hell had even happened to Takumi?

“Yeah, you have a point.” Takumi looked down it his hands. His family had joked about how they had looked before. He had the kind of hands who’d probably expect of a teenaged map maker. Pale, generally smooth and unmarred, a little ink touched. Now he had cuts and bruises that would probably toughen into calluses, and his skin had been slightly burnt by the sun. Another thing that Takumi could barely recognize about himself.

“I probably should have had the foresight to bind these before I started…” Takumi mused. He really should start thinking these things through better. “Anyway, you don’t have to worry, Suzume. I’ll try and take care.” ‘Try’ being the operative word there, fair enough. Especially the way this whole ‘bring down the mastermind with Eri except Eri hates you’ thing was going.

He grinned and held up his hands. “No problem, they’ll be fine soon. And most of my work is computerized, so even I think my position will be safe.”

[shslreporter]

Even thinking about Eri made Suzume's insides twist with misery. Their confrontation - which wasn't even supposed to be a confrontation; it was supposed to be an apology - had spiraled way out of control, and it was all because of her inability to keep her own viciousness in check. She didn't believe in regrets, not usually, but she couldn't think of another word for the way she felt about what had happened. And she had an awful feeling that this time, it was irreparable. How did you apologize for insulting someone's dead spouse? Could you apologize for that? Gifts and niceties wouldn't fix it, that was for sure.

(And Eri had something from Kazuki, didn't she? Some vital piece of evidence that was supposed to help them bring down the mastermind? She'd pretty well wrecked her chances of finding out what that was, then. At least Takumi had the other one - he would share with her for sure.)

-- finding out that Eri had been angry with Takumi, though, made her upset all over again. So she was a horrible bitch, fine, they'd established that a long time ago. But Takumi was the kindest, most inoffensive person she'd ever met in her life. Eri had no reason, no reason at all to treat him badly.

Not that that had ever stopped anyone before, by the sound of it.

"That's good," she smiled back - a real smile this time, not forced or trembling - when he held up his hands. "And, y'know, if they're not fine and you're out of the map game for good, you can always be my househusband. It's a pretty sweet gig, not even gonna lie."

It was sick, maybe, to be joking at a time like this, but you had to cope somehow. 

She sighed and stepped out of the grave, motioning toward the bucket.

"You want to..." she trailed off and gestured vaguely, not quite sure how to say 'dump your bucket of ex-Sleuth into the ground' in a way that wasn't horribly crass. "--or should I?"

[alex-was-right-deactivated20150]

nobody's listening - execution 4

[alex-was-right-deactivated20150]

Eri’s jaw tightened. Her initial reaction was ‘yeah, Takumi’s not an idiot. I actually think Takumi is a really awesome guy and I’m really lucky to know someone like him’, but the words went beyond that. Implying that Mien had been an idiot for doing what he did, and that he was a murderer to his core. That it was all he was; not the soccer player, not the boy with two personalities, not the awkward boy that couldn’t start conversations, the hopeless romantic, the person she loved…

He was more than what he had done. They were all more than what they had done in this place. It would get to anyone. Mien wasn’t at fault.

So how fucking DARE SHE. Implying Takumi is this perfect saint — that she’s been blessed with this insight to know who will and won’t kill, who will and won’t snap under the endless pressure of this cursed place.

“So you’re psychic on top of being selfish and reckless? Lovely.” Eri’s fingers curled into fists so tight her arms began to shake. Don’t hit her. You can’t hit people. You can barely yell at people. Just say what you’re thinking and leaving. At least do that much for yourself. “I know it’s easier for you to think Mien-kun was a heartless killer with no sense, because it makes you feel better about this, but that’s not what he was. If you refuse to see this obvious truth then you really don’t deserve to be a reporter at all; certainly not Super High School Level.

“I didn’t know Mien-kun was going to do those things. You don’t know Takumi won’t do the same. We don’t know anything about each other.”

[shslreporter]

Suzume’s mouth gave an ugly downward twitch. She could feel the rage in her uncoiling, like some hateful serpent rising from its basket, and she loved it. In a sick way, this was better than making fumbling attempts at comforting Eri. This was familiar, this was satisfying, this was something she was good at. Eri didn’t want to make nice? Fuck it. She didn’t want to be nice either. She had spent too goddamn long trying to be nice to everyone and all she got out of it was more murders. More excuses. More whining.

“Then tell me what Mien was, Narukami. What do you call a person that beats somebody else to death in cold blood? Sensible? Brave? A hero?”

She let out a short, harsh bark of laughter.

“And don’t you fucking lecture me about reckless - I’m not the one who thought it’d be a good idea to marry a fifteen-year-old with two personalities, was I?”

Her eyes flickered down to Eri’s clenched fists.

“You wanna hit me? Then hit me.”

[alex-was-right-deactivated20150]

“Mien was human.” Eri said firmly. “He was a fifteen year old thrown into an amusement park with people who think they know everything about everyone because they talk in front of a camera all the time, he watched his friends died, and he snapped. I think out of everyone I realize how horrible what he did was. I’m not saying it was forgivable. But it was human, and any of us could be next.”

Watching the poorly maintained anger rise up in Suzume’s face, Eri pursed her lips together and added, “especially those of us with tempers we can’t keep under control.”

Eri wouldn’t pretend the whole marriage thing wasn’t silly; it was beyond silly and into ridiculous and stupid. But they were two teenagers unsure of their survival for another day, and they were in love. And at the end of that day, everyone had felt a little better and slightly more cheerful.

But when it came to being reckless, Eri wasn’t the only one. They’d all done something pointlessly stupid during their time here. “Remember after the first trial, when Meike-chan invited us over to her room for a sleepover, and you thought it prudent for us all to get so drunk we couldn’t recall a thing? That was a well thought out plan. I don’t think it ever would have backfired on you.”

There was a beat, where Eri briefly considered punching the lights out of this bitch she thought had been her friend, but she stopped herself.

“You aren’t worth the energy.”

[shslreporter]

Suzume had to bite back the retort that threatened to burst from her mouth when Eri mentioned the drinking - It's not the same! - because, even now, she knew that it was exactly the same. They were just two different ways that sad, desperate kids used to cope with a situation that was, in all honestly, beyond coping. In a way, the drinking had even caused the wedding...because Eri and Mien were both too fucking stupid to know basic facts about biology.

(This was all her fault, wasn't it?)

"Oh, fuck you." She couldn't possibly roll her eyes hard enough. "'Anyone could be next?' You know, a lot of stuff pisses me off, but it's really not that hard to not kill people. Literally anyone can do it. You just take a deep breath and decide not to be a fucking psychopath, the end."

The fact that Eri didn't hit her only made her angrier.

"Fine," she said, shrugging. "I knew you'd be too chickenshit to do it. Why don't you go cry some more?"

[shsl-cartographer]

黑夜給了我黑色的眼睛 (我確用它尋找光明)

[shsl-cartographer]

The whole ‘digging an actual grave in which to put an actual body’ thing was going roughly about as well as Takumi had figured it would. Which meant that it was not going well at all. The rain had softened up the ground, but it was still fairly above Takumi’s abilities to go digging straight through the ground. Adding onto that, he was still in pretty bad condition, so…yeah. This had most likely been an awful idea. That wasn’t going to stop him, though. 

During the first part of the burial process, as he was digging the initial hole, someone put a hand on his shoulder. Before he had entered the park, Takumi probably would have jumped back at something like that. But here…why bother? If someone was going to murder him, he really was in no condition to fight back. And if it was a friend, than he didn’t have to worry about anything.

Then again, his lists of ‘friends’ was shortening by the day.

But when Takumi turned around and saw it was Suzume, he was relieved. She was the one person in this place that he could talk to, could depend on. After what had happened with Eri earlier…yeah, that had hurt. He had been angry, and Takumi didn’t understand anger, not really. The emotion didn’t do much to help him, only made him feel hollow and empty inside when the argument ended. And people didn’t change their opinions, not generally, so all Takumi had ever gotten out of arguments was tear stains on his face and a sharpness in his stomach. 

But that was alright. He could put in behind him when he was talking to Suzume. On the list of people who might actually like Takumi right now, Suzume was probably number…hell, Suzume was probably the list. He would have hugged her right then, but he probably seemed pretty abhorrent right now, with all the blood and dirt. Not even clean enough to hit.

“Hello Suzume.” Her voiced had sounded like she had spent the better part of the day yelling, and she looked pretty much the same as Takumi felt. They sure were a pair of messed up kids, weren’t they? At any rate, he felt a little better about his condition. If this all had even got to Suzume like that, it was alright that he was just barely hanging on. Well, not ‘alright’, really. But at least understandable. 

“It would probably get done better if we took shifts,” Takumi agreed. His hands were already bleeding, so having someone there to help him with the digging was much appreciated. He had a sudden urge to heave as the stench of the bucket overwhelmed him, but Takumi bit it back. There was nothing that was going to come out, anyway.

“And…How are you holding up, Suzume?” Takumi asked earnestly. Considering her condition, she most likely had it as bad as he had. “You look as if you just got out of a fight, though I suppose I am the same way.”

He frowned. The cuts on her check were shallow, but you shouldn’t just overlook things like that; that could led to awful results. Takumi had seen it happen before, to one of his friends. Well, an acquaintance  really, but Takumi had counted anyone who said something non-harmful to him as a friend. And infections could occur, especially if you were in an area with corpses, blood, and dirt everywhere. “Can you let me put something on those cuts? Just in case of infection.”

[shslreporter]

Suzume took a deep, trembling breath and pressed her lips together, trying to keep herself from bursting into tears. She wasn't sure whether they'd be tears of anger at Eri or hopelessness at their situation or gratitude that he - he with his bleeding hands and frail body, he who would be well within his rights to only worry about himself at this moment - was still being so kind to her right now.

She felt a sudden, powerful urge to grab him by the shoulders and kiss him, hold him close, whisper thank you thank you thank you for not hating me against his skin like a prayer. She was a hypocrite, she knew. As much as she craved confrontation, she was just as greedy for love. The two wants were always at war inside her: destruction and creation, inclusion and separation, the vindication of being hated and the affirmation of being adored. Eros and thanatos.

"Well, Jurou's dead and it looks like Eri and I aren't friends anymore," she said, voice quivering. "So...I'm not doing great, honestly. How about you? I mean -" she cracked a trembling smile "- no offense, but you really do look like hell."

She took the shovel from Takumi's blood-slick hands and gestured for him to stand aside, well away from the bucket of gore that had once been Kazuki Jurou. 

The repetitiveness of gravedigging was almost comforting, in numb sort of way: push the spade into the earth, toss the shovelful of dirt over your shoulder, repeat. There was little enough left of Kazuki left that the hole didn't have to be especially big, and Takumi had already made a pretty impressive headway for someone as small and tired as he was. It didn't take long to expand the grave to something that would be able to hold Kazuki's remains - when she was finished, she leaned against the shovel, a bit out of breath.

When he mentioned the cuts on her face, she felt another swell of gratitude in her chest. Normally she'd object to being fussed over, but right now she was desperate for any sign that someone else cared about her; that she was, in fact, capable of being loved at all. 

"Sure," she said faintly. "That'd probably be a good idea. You should take care of yourself too, you know."

She nodded at his hands.

"Aren't those the career?"

[shsl-cartographer]

黑夜給了我黑色的眼睛 (我確用它尋找光明)

Takumi watched the entire execution from start to finish, tried not to even blink that much. He hadn’t done this with the other ones, because if it had been him he wouldn’t have wanted anyone to watch. But…Kazuki always wanted to be the damn center of attention didn’t he? And if this was the price you had to pay for thumbing your nose at Monobear, than yeah, Takumi was going to watch it. He was going to watch it because Kazuki deserved that much from him, and because if what he said had been true, that might be Takumi’s fate.

And Chiemi was hurt too, wasn’t she? A ear injury like that was way out of Takumi’s range of medical knowledge, but he was going to try to lend a hand. However, Hideki had helped her out before he had even had time to react. So yeah. Takumi Misawa wasn’t exactly Mister Solve Problems right now. He never had been, but he felt the most useless as he been been in a while right now. Ironic, huh?

He went back to his room and started at the wall because why on earth was this responsibility suddenly plopped into his lap? Takumi was afraid. He was unreliable and scared and flaky and he wasn’t really good at doing things. Why not Hideki, who had tried to keep them all safe, who had comforted Chiemi and tried to help Rin? Why not Suzume, who was the damn strongest person he had met, who was smart and resourceful and brave.

 For a second Takumi thought Kazuki did give the stuff to them. That he had lied at the trial to keep Monobear off their backs. It would have been a good strategy. Put the heat on Takumi while the others dealt with the problems. He’d make good bait, wouldn’t even mind it. It was the responsibility was the hard, the knowledge that if he went against Monobear that he was going to die and everyone else with him.

But hell. Dying couldn’t be so hard. Kazuki Jurou had died for whatever was in Takumi’s room right now, so the best thing to do (the only thing he could do) was to take a fucking deep breath and look. If this helped any of them get out, then make it was worth it. Maybe.

There was a key and a note placed on top of Takumi’s maps. He picked up the note first and looked it over. It was oddly written and said a lot of things Takumi didn’t really get at first. A really weird letter, as par for the course from Kazuki. He didn’t even know how to respond.

 So why was he crying?

Next Takumi picked up the key. The Monokey opened everything, so that meant…every door in this place? Holy shit, that was something to have. Especially if you also had a map that showed every locked door and every camera in this place. Takumi was no good at sneaking around, but he could give it a shot. Kazuki had trusted him.

Takumi couldn’t be smart or intelligent or anything like that. But Kazuki believed in him, so he was going to swallow his fear and fucking fake it. Do the best he very well could. There were no other options here other than giving up and accepting that they were going to die. And the others? No, Takumi would help as many of them out as possible, even if he bit it in the process or whatever.

Brave thoughts, kid, but you’re shaking. You’re shaking and tired and craven and you feel sick.

Well, alright, that last one was probably from the bucket of limbs.  

He had kind of rushed to get to his room because the mastermind knew that Takumi and Eri had things, and probably would be happy to take them back. So yeah, the proper burial had to wait until after he picked up whatever it was that Kazuki had left. Which meant that he was now in his room with a literal bucket of filth. That was what Takumi’s life had become.

He pulled out his screwdriver and made a place to hide the key so that it would be with him at all times. It would be awful if Takumi lost the thing, or if it was stolen. Just the kind of despairing thing that fit in in this place. So he gave another look to the maps too. Takumi would hit up the most hidden doors first, and wouldn’t stop until he found something.

But first, time to do this burying thing right. He bought a shovel from the store and found some soft dirt near the graves. Takumi still didn’t know who set up the makeshift memorial, but he was thankful for it. At least Kazuki was going to be buried under his headstone. Burning the body would be more normal, but Kazuki was…Kazuki. He’d probably like a more foreign send-off.

Takumi brought the shovel down again and again. It hurt like hell. He was a weak boy on his best days and right now Takumi was exhausted and hungry and sickened and basically fucked up in every way. But this was going to get done, even if he had to stay up all night. Even if his fingers bleed by the end.

That’s what a friend would do, right?

[shslreporter]

So Eri hated her now. Fine. She was better at being hated than loved anyway. Better at confrontation that consolation. Some people thrived in the midst of adversity - Suzume thrived on adversity. This was just a return to the status quo. 

Then why did she have this miserable, tense feeling in the pit of her stomach? It wasn't nausea - that had passed. It was something else.

...well, whatever. That wasn't important right now, and if she thought about it any more she was just going to make herself sick. (Sick with hatred for Eri, for herself, for everything in the whole damn world.) What was important was strengthening the few bonds she had left - and finding out what Kazuki had left behind.

It was dark out by the time she found Takumi toiling away at his makeshift grave behind the hotel. She'd seen the tiny memorial arrangement before and dismissed it as a cheap bit of sentimentality: sweet, but useless. Now, though...now she felt a little more soft about the whole thing. If they had pieces of Kazuki to bury, it was only right that they bury them instead of leaving them to be cleaned up by Monobear's army of robots.

Takumi looked an utter mess - tired, pale and thin, his clothes and face covered in dirt and blood. She hadn't had a chance to get a good look at herself since the execution, but she was sure that her own appearance was just as disheveled and grimy. Her hair was tousled, her clothes were flecked with bits of viscera, and the swipe Chiemi took at her earlier had left three shallow cuts on her left cheek, as though she'd been scratched by a cat.

What a sad little pair they were, huh?

She approached him and put a hand on his shoulder, hoping not to startle him.

"D'you need some help?"

Her voice was hoarse - standing in the rain and then screaming at Eri had probably done her health no favors.

[alex-was-right-deactivated20150]

nobody's listening - execution 4

[shslreporter]

Suzume felt her jaw clench as Eri spoke, her suppressed anger resurfacing with a vengeance. If it was Takumi, she said, like beating a classmate to death with your bare hands and then lying about it was something that could just happen to anyone - as if, if it hadn’t been Mien, it would have been someone else. What people kept failing to understand here is that murder wasn’t inevitable. Everyone had a choice, and Mien had chosen.

And if it was Takumi, if he had killed a person, she wouldn’t need anyone to comfort her because she wasn’t a stupid, whiny little baby. If he turned out to be a bad person - a murderer - she’d accept the truth and she’d move on, sadder but wiser. She had a remarkable talent for cutting emotional ties with people who proved themselves unworthy of her trust or her time. No tears, no trudging around like a zombie. Just board off the part of your heart they’d occupied and be done with it.

(It was entirely possible that this was just as unhealthy as being consumed by your sadness the way Eri had been.)

“Takumi wouldn’t do something like that,” she spat, suddenly venomous. “Because Takumi’s not an idiot and he’s not a murderer.”

[alex-was-right-deactivated20150]

Eri’s jaw tightened. Her initial reaction was ‘yeah, Takumi’s not an idiot. I actually think Takumi is a really awesome guy and I’m really lucky to know someone like him’, but the words went beyond that. Implying that Mien had been an idiot for doing what he did, and that he was a murderer to his core. That it was all he was; not the soccer player, not the boy with two personalities, not the awkward boy that couldn’t start conversations, the hopeless romantic, the person she loved…

He was more than what he had done. They were all more than what they had done in this place. It would get to anyone. Mien wasn’t at fault.

So how fucking DARE SHE. Implying Takumi is this perfect saint — that she’s been blessed with this insight to know who will and won’t kill, who will and won’t snap under the endless pressure of this cursed place.

“So you’re psychic on top of being selfish and reckless? Lovely.” Eri’s fingers curled into fists so tight her arms began to shake. Don’t hit her. You can’t hit people. You can barely yell at people. Just say what you’re thinking and leaving. At least do that much for yourself. “I know it’s easier for you to think Mien-kun was a heartless killer with no sense, because it makes you feel better about this, but that’s not what he was. If you refuse to see this obvious truth then you really don’t deserve to be a reporter at all; certainly not Super High School Level.

“I didn’t know Mien-kun was going to do those things. You don’t know Takumi won’t do the same. We don’t know anything about each other.”

[shslreporter]

Suzume's mouth gave an ugly downward twitch. She could feel the rage in her uncoiling, like some hateful serpent rising from its basket, and she loved it. In a sick way, this was better than making fumbling attempts at comforting Eri. This was familiar, this was satisfying, this was something she was good at. Eri didn't want to make nice? Fuck it. She didn't want to be nice either. She had spent too goddamn long trying to be nice to everyone and all she got out of it was more murders. More excuses. More whining.

"Then tell me what Mien was, Narukami. What do you call a person that beats somebody else to death in cold blood? Sensible? Brave? A hero?"

She let out a short, harsh bark of laughter.

"And don't you fucking lecture me about reckless - I'm not the one who thought it'd be a good idea to marry a fifteen-year-old with two personalities, was I?"

Her eyes flickered down to Eri's clenched fists.

"You wanna hit me? Then hit me."

[alex-was-right-deactivated20150]

nobody's listening - execution 4

[alex-was-right-deactivated20150]

It was almost like they had switched roles — Suzume acting meek and unsure while Eri neared a scowl. She listened to the apology intently, mentally picking apart every word until they were nothing to her.

Excuses. Nothing but excuses. At least Suzume was the type to realize when she was so full of it she was almost lying. Eri would have preferred the lies never been spouted in the first place, but owning up to it was an alright second.

That didn’t make it okay. If anything, it made Eri even more upset.

“Good, then I won’t,” she said bluntly, running her hands idly over her skirt. “You’re right. About all of those. I needed someone and no one was there. …. Don’t feel too bad, because it wasn’t just you. It was everyone but Chiemi-san.”

Eri released a slow sigh through her nose. There it was. She said her thoughts without stuttering or getting embarrassed. This was what it took for her to grow a backbone; trusting someone only to have it ripped out from under her.

“You wouldn’t have been able to get rid of me if it was Takumi,” she added. “I never would have left your side. But… it’s fine. I’m glad to know where we actually stand now.”

[shslreporter]

Suzume felt her jaw clench as Eri spoke, her suppressed anger resurfacing with a vengeance. If it was Takumi, she said, like beating a classmate to death with your bare hands and then lying about it was something that could just happen to anyone - as if, if it hadn't been Mien, it would have been someone else. What people kept failing to understand here is that murder wasn't inevitable. Everyone had a choice, and Mien had chosen.

And if it was Takumi, if he had killed a person, she wouldn't need anyone to comfort her because she wasn't a stupid, whiny little baby. If he turned out to be a bad person - a murderer - she'd accept the truth and she'd move on, sadder but wiser. She had a remarkable talent for cutting emotional ties with people who proved themselves unworthy of her trust or her time. No tears, no trudging around like a zombie. Just board off the part of your heart they'd occupied and be done with it.

(It was entirely possible that this was just as unhealthy as being consumed by your sadness the way Eri had been.)

"Takumi wouldn't do something like that," she spat, suddenly venomous. "Because Takumi's not an idiot and he's not a murderer."

[alex-was-right-deactivated20150]

nobody's listening - execution 4

[alex-was-right-deactivated20150]

Eri let Suzume lead her away — she certainly didn’t want to stare at the remains of her former friend for much longer — and stayed silent. Something about walking with her orange haired friend was setting her on edge.

This was what Eri had to do, then? Scream and cry. It was the only way her alleged friends would think of coming to her. Only when she made it painfully obvious she was suffering would they come and check on her. Not after her boyfriend killed someone. No no, that would require to much though.

How dare she. How dare she apologize and pretend that’s enough.

Eri swallowed hard, both to keep back the rising tears and the boiling rage in her stomach. Not this time. She wasn’t getting off with a sorry. “…. For what?” she asked tersely.

After all, being angry kept her mind off of the horror she just witnessed.

[shslreporter]

The sharpness of Eri's tone took Suzume slightly off-guard, making her flinch slightly. She'd only heard her talk that way once before - at Mien's trial, when Kazuki had been showboating around and bragging about his sloppy frame job like the little sociopathic attention whore he was. Suzume had been proud of Eri in that moment, proud of her for finally showing a bit of that hidden steel she'd been sure the translator possessed.

And then, only minutes later, things had gone completely to shit and the fire in Eri's eyes had been snuffed out very suddenly.

"For not talking to you when I should have," she said quietly, her tone uncertain. She  wasn't sure how to react to angry Eri. She wanted to look away, but something in her - pride, maybe - kept their gazes locked. "About Mien. I...I didn't know what to say at first."

(She'd known exactly what to say, in fact, but not even she was bull-headed enough to tell a grieving widow that her husband had been an idiot as well as a murderer and she'd been stupid to marry him.)

"And then Takumi talked some sense into me, and I was going to talk to you at the pool thing, but then we found Masa, and --"

Suzume had no idea how this was, as far as apologies went. She had so little practice with them. Yelling and berating was more in her wheelhouse.

"--and I was gonna make some more excuses here, but they're all bullshit. You needed a friend, I was busy being fucking selfish and horrible, and I'm sorry. You don't have to forgive me, but there it is."

[alex-was-right-deactivated20150]

nobody's listening - execution 4

She’d seen so many of her friends be executed before her eyes that Eri didn’t really react as Kazuki was thrown in the cage. She stared gauntly as he dodged the Monobear’s, didn’t flinch as the explosions went off, and she barely managed to widen her eyes minutely when Chiemi jumped in herself.

What was she doing?

…. Why hadn’t Eri done that…? Maybe if she’d jumped in and tried to save Mien he would still be here. Instead she stood there and watched like the fucking moron she is; useless and weak and pathetic.

More explosions, and then Chiemi was on the ground to. A sick sensation rolled through Eri’s stomach. She couldn’t lose Chiemi, too. Not the only thing she had left. The only real friend she had in this whole mess—

She was about to walk over to check on her friend, when an encore of explosions went off, and she saw Kazuki.

She saw him everywhere. Shards of bone scattered across the cage, the slick remnants of muscles clinging to the ceiling and floor. His head rolled by, staring blankly ahead.

Eri froze. And she stared.

And then, for the first time in a while, a dead body managed to make her scream.

[shslreporter]

For a long, awful second, Suzume thought she might double over and vomit right there on the floor.

(This was worse than what they had done to Miyuki, worse than Mic, worse than Athena, worse than Mien. The explosion had all but painted the room with Kazuki, spraying his insides all over the floor and walls. There was almost nothing recognizably human left of him.

She felt a fleck of something warm and slimy hit her cheek; when she brushed it away, her fingers came back coated in blood. Her stomach roiled. Oh god, oh god, oh god.)

But Eri's scream snapped her out of it.

A part of Suzume was absolutely sick to death of Eri's shrill crying and wailing after every trial. The translator was like a baby: no emotional range or communication skills beyond screaming for someone to hold her and shush her and make everything all right. It had stopped for a while after Mien's death, and Suzume had thought, in a cold, ugly little corner of her brain, that maybe that would be the thing that forced Eri to grow up. Hideki had wised up, after all. Takumi, too - he had problems and doubts, but he never stopped trying to work past them. Eri just cried and cried and cried.

Another part of her felt a keen pang of guilt at thinking this way. It wasn't Eri's fault that she was weak. Some people just didn't have it in them to deal with things like this - that didn't make them bad people. Hadn't Suzume chosen her profession to help people who couldn't help themselves? 

You didn't even talk to her after Mien died. You told you that you were her friend and you didn't say a goddamn thing after her stupid husband got himself killed. You're a terrible person. 

She felt another wave of disgust wash over her - this time directed at herself. That settled it. Suzume wrapped an arm around Eri's shoulder and pulled her out of the room, away from the grisly remains of Kazuki Jurou.

"C'mon, Eri-chan."

Once they were in the hallway, she took a deep breath and looked Eri directly in the eye.

She should have something articulate and thoughtful and encouraging to say here, something that would close the gulf that had grown between them.

Instead she swallowed hard and managed, falteringly: "I-I'm sorry. About everything."

[monobearworld]

Shotdown

The weird scent of a dead body never gets old. There wasn’t any blood around anywhere, no. It was all clean around the fountain, like nothing happened. Chiemi went there thinking nothing could go wrong on her day, well, except the fact of the new student, but still. He wanted to see his boyfriend, maybe.

And there he was, sitting on the fountain. Sleeping calmly, like nothing happened. He was just… there, not saying a word, not even saying a hello. When Chiemi went a little closer to him, she finally noticed what the hell was going on there.

He wasn’t breathing. There weren’t any heartbeats too. That was Kazuki Jurou’s lifeless body. The only thing close to an obvious clue was the writing on the wall – “harmony between action and thinking”, written in blood…

Another dead body, and another mystery.  And this time, without the sleuth’s help to investigate this.

[shslstarbutts-blog]

No no no no. This couldn’t have happened. Chiemi wouldn’t believe that it was Kazuki who died this time. She touched his face, felt his head…did anything she could, but he felt so cold and lifeless.  Instantly, Chiemi Shinozaki was in a mess of tears. Mascara? Make up? Yeah, all of it was falling off of her face. There was no stopping it and that was that, really. As she sat next to him, her arms resting on his body, Chiemi rocked back and forth whilst attempting to convince herself that it was all a dream. But as the mascara ridden tears fell onto Kazuki Jurou’s dead cheeks, his lack of movement made it obvious that he wasn’t going to make it.  “K-Kazuki. We…we were going to go to New York together, remember?” She rocked back and forth still, his lifeless body cradled in her arms. “You have to be alive for that though. I can’t do this on my own, ok? So I’m going to need you to…wake up. WAKE UP GODDAMN IT!”  Chiemi shook him, but he still didn’t budge. Seeing that she failed, she fell to the ground, defeated. …And then, it started to rain, on top of it all. 

[meike-chi]

Meike felt she had made at least some progress with herself, choosing to at least take a walk outside every day so Hideki wouldn’t worry about her cooping herself up in her room. As she neared the fountain she could hear what sounded like Chiemi crying? Oh no, what could it possibly- Meike’s eyes widened as she saw the girl sobbing over what appeared to be Kazuki, but he wasn’t moving? She quickly ran over to the two only to spot the phrase in blood, harmony between action and thinking? It had taken her a moment to realize this was written in blood, and that the boy Chiemi was crying over was in fact dead. She approached Chiemi carefully, and looked over to the deceased. She furrowed her brows as she managed to stay fairly calm, surprising even herself. Something felt odd about this, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. And had all of these murder cases just finally started to unphase her? She didn’t know Kazuki too well but even she normally reacted more than this to a murder.

Not wanting to separate Chiemi from her recently deceased boyfriend she turned away toward where she came from and called out. “Someone help! There’s been another murder!” Turning back toward Chiemi she bent down to her side but said nothing, knowing that the girl would be highly explosive toward anyone at this state, but would stay there incase she needed her support. For now she’d wait for the girl to calm down - if that ever happened, before checking Kazuki’s body for more clues. Who could have possibly done this? And what could that message possibly mean?

[alex-was-right-deactivated20150]

After they found Masa, Eri was slowly venturing out of her room and around the park. She didn’t believe this random boy’s words on her dear friend for a second — if anything, pointing the finger immediately at Kazuki only made him more suspicious.

Regaining a bit of her trust in her friend after recent events, even if it was only because she didn’t trust someone she didn’t know, uplifted her. She certainly wasn’t happy or ready to face anyone besides Chiemi, but she was capable of eating and walking, so that was an improvement.

Naturally, that wasn’t going to last long.

The first thing she heard was Chiemi screaming. The next, was Meike, yelling about a dead body.

Why was it always Meike and Eri that found the corpses?

Eri broke into a run towards the sound of their voices, stumbling with her heavy limbs until she came around the corner and…

…. for a moment, she couldn’t tell who it was. Chiemi was clinging to their corpse like a lost child, sobbing so loudly Eri almost shivered. Meike was kneeling next to her, maybe whispering something Eri couldn’t hear. Then she saw the trench coat, and the hair, and it occurred to her all at once.

Was she screaming? There was a vague sound in the distance but Eri couldn’t make it out over the sound of the blood rushing past her ears. Her once heavy limbs suddenly felt so light she couldn’t support herself. A few feet away from his body, Eri fell to the ground, and stared.

Mien, and now Kazuki.

…. A choked sound escaped her lips, and it took Eri a belated moment to realize she was crying.

[shslreporter]

It takes three to establish a pattern. Three ghosts for Ebenezer Scrooge, three guesses at Rumpelstiltskin's name, three daughters for Reb Tevye to marry off. The ex-yakuza she'd interviewed had told her that the third time you tortured someone was the most important, because that was the time the full horror of their situation hit them. 

But it takes four to really drive the point home. Four to kill the last shred of hope left over in a person's heart. Four to make sure they know Yes, this is your future.

It was raining heavily by the time Suzume reached the fountain - her glasses were so fogged up and blurred by the raindrops that it took her a moment to make out the scene in front of her. As she stepped closer, pushing her sopping bangs off of her forehead, she recognized the shapes of Eri and Meike huddled around the fountain.

And Chiemi, howling like an injured cat and cradling the limp form of -

"Jurou," she breathed. "Shit."

She wasn't about to pretend that she'd liked the boy. He was a drama queen of the highest order, an unrepentant attention whore and a borderline sociopath when it came to crime and punishment. He'd been more of a harm than a help whenever she tried to do anything. But...he'd been such an enormous presence in their little group. Always a loud voice and a smug expression, a flash of brightly-colored hair and an infuriatingly self-satisfied lilt to the way he spoke.

And now he was this. This cold, lifeless thing. His head lolled grotesquely from side to side as Chiemi rocked back and forth, back and forth, continuing to wail like a banshee.

(He wasn't supposed to do this. She hadn't planned for this. As infuriating as it had been to have him around, she hadn't even imagined him not around.)

"Hey," she said quietly, putting a hand on Chiemi's shoulder and attempting to gently pull her away from her boyfriend's corpse. It was a hard thing, an awful thing to have happened, but...well, rules were rules, and the clock was ticking. If they couldn't discover who had murdered Kazuki soon, they'd all be joining him in pretty short order.

(If this were Takumi, she knew she'd be doing the same thing. Worse, probably. How awful must it be, to open up, to reveal your secrets, to pour your whole heart into another person and then to have them taken away so suddenly?)

"C'mon, Chiemi-chan. I need you to get up."

[shslhideki-deactivated20150111]

Earth to Hideki

[shslreporter]

Suzume had stepped outside for a smoke when she spotted Hideki sitting under his tree.

“Hey,” she said lightly, seating herself next to him. She paused for a moment, unsure of how to continue - she liked Hideki in a grudging sort of way, but their last one-on-one interaction had culminated with him grabbing her breast and her punching him in the face. 

It was not exactly the foundation for a close friendship.

But she couldn’t stand sitting here in silence forever and she wasn’t about to just get up and leave after one word - that would be even more awkward. After a second, she finally thought of something to say.

“…that trial was pretty fucked up, huh?”

[shslhideki-deactivated20150111]

Hideki opened his eyes and and nodded his head to take a seat if she wanted. “Fucked up doesn’t begin to describe it. That bastard could have killed us all, and Mien and just FUCK IT!” He let out a yell, long and loud. He was sick of trying to be the one to keep calm all the time. He punched at the floor once or twice for good measure. Fuck you grass.

He took his glasses off and set them aside. He was starting to get a headache and rested his head back. “I’m…starting to think you’re right. About people deserving what they get…I didn’t know Mien, and i’m sure he was nice and all but…He deserved it…” Fuck. Why did agreeing with that fucked up logic hurt so much? Like he was betraying his own ethics. Fuck it maybe he was, maybe it was him who should grow up…

[shslreporter]

Suzume frowned slightly and took another drag of her cigarette, looking carefully at Hideki out of the corner of her eye. She’d hoped from the beginning that he and the others would come around to her way of thinking, but…it was pretty sad to watch, wasn’t it? To see the gorgon’s glare of trauma and cruel circumstance turn a human being from flesh to stone.

She pitied him a little.

She was a little proud of him, too.

“Yeah,” she said softly. Her tone was bitter as ever, but somehow sad. “He had the same choice as all the rest, and he blew it. Over an imaginary affair, too…how dumb can you be?”

Personally, she’d thought that the cheating thing was the weakest motive possible. She certainly hadn’t expected anyone to fall for it. But then again, other people always did manage to wow her with how stupid and petty they were. Invent a foolproof plan and the universe will supply a better fool, as they said. She was starting to think that the bear could offer them freedom and peace on a silver platter…and someone would wrench the platter out of his hands and use it to beat someone else to death.

She closed her eyes and sighed, exhaling smoke.

“Of course I’m right. But, you know, sometimes I - I really hate it. Being right all the time about how terrible everything is. I wish somebody’d prove me wrong just once…”

She trailed off thoughtfully, then opened her eyes and turned to him, smiling faintly.

“You want to get a drink, Mizuki? Now that you’re officially all cynical and enlightened, you’re gonna need it.” 

[shslhideki-deactivated20150111]

Hideki nodded and shoved his glasses back on his face. Maybe drinking wasn’t such a bad idea. “Knowledge is the greatest burden and being right is just behind it” That almost sounded deep. He scoffed and stood up, dusting himself down.  ”For the record I prefer you being right to someone like Jurou. At least in your case I can count on you to cut the bullshit and get to the point” He followed on towards the store, buying up some bottles of whiskey.

“How’s Takumi holding up? You’r closest to him, seems like the kind of guy to break down right after Eri.” He was sick of the honorifics and a little sick of the people in the park. No. That wasn’t it, he was just sick of the atmosphere. If people wanted to play games and do the social dance they could, he was more than a little tired of it all.

[shslreporter]

Suzume quirked an eyebrow at Hideki's philosophizing, but resisted the urge to poke fun at him. He was right. Melodramatic, sure, but right. Truth was the heaviest weight any person could shoulder, and it never got any easier. Who was it, the writer who'd said that no live organism can continue to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality? Whoever it was, they'd been wrong. Suzume Shiratori could and would.

"Well, obviously. Jurou's a fucking asshole," she agreed amicably, snuffing her cigarette out on the pavement before standing up herself. (Kazuki was high on her list of worries right now, truth be told. He was up to something, she could feel it.) She followed Hideki to the store and nodded approvingly as he went straight for the whiskey. Hell yeah. No pussyfooting around with this one.

When he asked about Takumi, she paused contemplatively.

"He's okay, I think. I mean, he's never as okay as he pretends to be, but..."

She remembered the night after Mien's trial, when he had held her and comforted her as she cried. It was an odd little bit of role-reversal, that - him reassuring her instead of the other way around. Normally she was offended when other people attempted to console her, no matter how well-intentioned they might be; she couldn't help but interpret any gesture of comfort as one of pity. A sign that they thought she was weak. But she hadn't felt that, not then, not with him. Being with him made her feel safe and whole in a way that she couldn't entirely explain.

"He's stronger than he looks. Stronger than he knows, even."

She shrugged and gestured for Hideki to hand her one of the bottles.

"What about Meike? You're...with her, right?"

[shslhideki-deactivated20150111]

Earth to Hideki

[shslreporter]

Suzume had stepped outside for a smoke when she spotted Hideki sitting under his tree.

“Hey,” she said lightly, seating herself next to him. She paused for a moment, unsure of how to continue - she liked Hideki in a grudging sort of way, but their last one-on-one interaction had culminated with him grabbing her breast and her punching him in the face. 

It was not exactly the foundation for a close friendship.

But she couldn’t stand sitting here in silence forever and she wasn’t about to just get up and leave after one word - that would be even more awkward. After a second, she finally thought of something to say.

“…that trial was pretty fucked up, huh?”

[shslhideki-deactivated20150111]

Hideki opened his eyes and and nodded his head to take a seat if she wanted. “Fucked up doesn’t begin to describe it. That bastard could have killed us all, and Mien and just FUCK IT!” He let out a yell, long and loud. He was sick of trying to be the one to keep calm all the time. He punched at the floor once or twice for good measure. Fuck you grass.

He took his glasses off and set them aside. He was starting to get a headache and rested his head back. “I’m…starting to think you’re right. About people deserving what they get…I didn’t know Mien, and i’m sure he was nice and all but…He deserved it…” Fuck. Why did agreeing with that fucked up logic hurt so much? Like he was betraying his own ethics. Fuck it maybe he was, maybe it was him who should grow up…

[shslreporter]

Suzume frowned slightly and took another drag of her cigarette, looking carefully at Hideki out of the corner of her eye. She'd hoped from the beginning that he and the others would come around to her way of thinking, but...it was pretty sad to watch, wasn't it? To see the gorgon's glare of trauma and cruel circumstance turn a human being from flesh to stone.

She pitied him a little.

She was a little proud of him, too.

"Yeah," she said softly. Her tone was bitter as ever, but somehow sad. "He had the same choice as all the rest, and he blew it. Over an imaginary affair, too...how dumb can you be?"

Personally, she'd thought that the cheating thing was the weakest motive possible. She certainly hadn't expected anyone to fall for it. But then again, other people always did manage to wow her with how stupid and petty they were. Invent a foolproof plan and the universe will supply a better fool, as they said. She was starting to think that the bear could offer them freedom and peace on a silver platter...and someone would wrench the platter out of his hands and use it to beat someone else to death.

She closed her eyes and sighed, exhaling smoke.

"Of course I'm right. But, you know, sometimes I - I really hate it. Being right all the time about how terrible everything is. I wish somebody'd prove me wrong just once..."

She trailed off thoughtfully, then opened her eyes and turned to him, smiling faintly.

"You want to get a drink, Mizuki? Now that you're officially all cynical and enlightened, you're gonna need it." 

[shslhideki-deactivated20150111]

Earth to Hideki

Hideki thought about his blowing up at Suzume the other day. He hated to admit it but he could at least see where she was coming from now. He was tempted to go get drunk. Probably not the smartest course given the situation. He found himself a sunny spot outside and sat under the tree. Just five minutes without something happening, so he could forget he was in this craphole. Thats all he wanted.

[shslreporter]

Suzume had stepped outside for a smoke when she spotted Hideki sitting under his tree.

"Hey," she said lightly, seating herself next to him. She paused for a moment, unsure of how to continue - she liked Hideki in a grudging sort of way, but their last one-on-one interaction had culminated with him grabbing her breast and her punching him in the face. 

It was not exactly the foundation for a close friendship.

But she couldn't stand sitting here in silence forever and she wasn't about to just get up and leave after one word - that would be even more awkward. After a second, she finally thought of something to say.

"...that trial was pretty fucked up, huh?"

[shslreporter]

a new challenger appears?! [PLOT PLOT PLOT PLOT]

Early this morning, Suzume slipped this note - neatly typed, to spare them the confusion of attempting to decipher her handwriting - under each of her remaining classmates’ doors:

Hey! I know things have been pretty heavy lately - and trust me, I hate getting notes this way just as much as the rest of you - but I thought it might be good for us all to get some sun today! I scouted out the new area and it looks like there’s a pretty awesome pool. I’ll be down there this afternoon and you should all come too! 

- S. Shiratori

She wasn’t sure how many of them would come, to be honest. They had lost a lot since the day they woke up here. They’d hurt one another and been hurt in ways that would probably never heal. Eri, in particular, seemed less a girl and more a zombie every day since Mien’s execution. It was entirely possible that Suzume’s attempt to reach out was a futile one, too little and too late to foster any sense of hope or community in their sad, broken little social circle.

(I am an actor, she thought. We are all actors, kidding ourselves along on a senseless odyssey. Life should not be a journey to the grave but it is, in the end, isn’t it?)

But she and Takumi had promised each other that they would live, and sitting alone in a dark bedroom was not living. Living was being out in the sun and spending time with your friends and trying to make a difference even though you knew it was stupid.

(It was the tension between these two poles - a restless idealism on one hand and a sense of impending doom on the other - that kept me going.)

So, around one in the afternoon, she changed into her swimsuit, tied her hair back and padded down to the newly-opened pool area. 

To her surprise, they did come. Slowly, in pairs or by themselves, but they came. That was something. She greeted them each in turn, acting perhaps over-cheerful compared to her usual demeanor. She was glad to see them, really.

After a few minutes of small talk, she headed over to the nearby pool supply shed. There had to be beach balls or something in there, right?

She opened the shed door, flipped on the lights — and, catching sight of what was inside, paused. Stared. If she were a different sort of girl, she probably would have screamed. Instead, she just managed:

“No fucking way.”

[shslthemeparkdesigner-blog]

Masa Sasaki was trapped in the cold confines of the tool shed. Bound and tied up in all sorts of places, he was surprised to see the light outside when Suzume opened the shed. He gasped in surprise, making the gag in his mouth that much more uncomfortable.  He tried his best to move about in every which way, but there was just no use! How could he when his arms and legs were held so tightly? How could he even say a word? Soon, he was freed from these restraints however, by the kindly hands of the redheaded girl named Suzume Shiratori.  “…Ka…zuki…” He gasped out after awhile. What the hell did he mean by that, you ask? Well, that part, you’ll have to find out for yourself! 

[shslreporter]

Suzume was good at untying nots - tying them, too, when it came to that. She managed to dispose of the strange boy's bonds in a few short moments, leaving him shaken and breathless but free. She looked him in the eye as he gasped Kazuki's name - her face was oddly impassive, for someone who'd just made such a surprising discovery.

Ka - zu - ki. 

This was something the others would want to know about. She held out a hand to help the boy to his feet, turning to shout out the open shed door.

"Hey, guys! Get over here! You're - you're not gonna believe what I just found!"