once the high lord of dawn would have welcome this uncertainty he felt from, if it kept the woman he loved at arms length and far away from him. it was a fate he had resigned himself to, but for reasons, his newly appointed third commander and best friend had no qualms pointing out were entirely...baseless. saint kept many secrets from her, from his title in the fae world, to how he'd become high lord. the latter of which he buries over and over, fearing what would become if that knowledge went to those he cared for would change things. it was a constant fear - would she, would his best friend, his comrades ever they ever look at him the same? that was a gamble saint could not cowardly take just yet. there was one thing he could mend, the one person whose existence was a constant reminder why he had done what he's done. that he could not welcome her into his world when he should have, but he could work to make a better one for her. the chain of events had certainly placed much into perspective, and the possibility of losing lux without ever telling her how he felt. how he never once ceased thinking of her, how she dominates his every waking thoughts. her tender features once married with hurt at his cruel words lingered his mind, but he forces himself to focus on what he should have done long before. the question was, could she truly forgive him for abandoning her when she needed him the most? all the hurtful lies he tossed her way just to compel her to hate him? he knows, deep down, she will not turn him away, not when her words echo in her mind that she loved him. it was those very words that he clung to in the most trying of circumstances. saint despises this uncertainty he formed within her, even now she stares him as if ...waiting for the worst. his heart clenches, as he speaks, her words drawing a faint smirk. "oh, now you're worried about propriety?" his gleaning azure hues fixed on her, despite his rather even, almost teasing words, his throat bobbed, swallowing as he dares to continue. "i think we've crossed long crossed that bridge..." well, he had when he appeared at her chambers in the dusk court. "i wish to hear them all...every charming unsavory you've created for me." he murmurs, holding his breath and releasing it when she did not reject his touch. when her hand turns to squeeze his, and his own is nearly an iron grip, holding hers. "it's incredible, it truly is - you're not cross, you do not hate me. what are you made of lux ashborn? besides of the hottest fire?" his voice nearly strained as those words fall, more so when her quiet confession tugs at his chest. his movement is so swift, that in a blink, he's drawn her chair closer to his, unable to bear whatever distance that remained between them. his free hand lifts to brush away the fiery red strands, his voice dropping enough for her to hear, "i wish you would not forgive me so easily, but i have no desire, no will to be away from you. these past months have been long enough without you. i don't blame you for avoiding me, but i will do everything in my power to prove to you, there's no need for uncertainty. i've never been more certain of anything in my existence than you. we stand where you wish for us to, for me that is by your side, and you beside mine." he lifted their joined hands to drop a kiss to the back of hers. "this is something i should have asked you long ago. lux, what do you want?"
