I was born and raised in a Hindu family, albeit not staunch, my parents were still practising Hindus. So that meant, just like the millions of other kids born into Hindu families, I too had to listen to all the folklore revolving around Hindu gods and goddesses from my grandparents and parents. Obviously I was too young then so I just listened and accepted whatever was told.
As I grew older, I was then exposed to religions other than Hinduism namely Islam, Christianity and Buddhism. At this point (I was probably in primary school), I still hadn't given my faith much thought. To me, religion was just something that is passed down from generation to generation. So since I was born into a Hindu family, I'm a Hindu and as my friends were born into Muslim, Christian and Buddhist families, they simply "inherited" their faith from their parents. And I just accepted the fact that there are numerous different religions that are practiced worldwide by people, and that's just how it is.
As I then approached my teen years, I started questioning certain religious rituals of my own religion. Also, my not-so-religious mom was helpful in the sense that she too didn't believe in those rituals! So I used to have hours of conversations with my mom about the rituals and tales and what the rationale behind them actually is. Then, slowly as I learnt more and more about the other religions through secondary education and conversations with other people, I started questioning things about those religions as well. I either kept all my questions and doubts in my head or poured them out to my mom because I didn't want to hurt or offend anybody.
So at this point, I could say that after all our conversations, my mom and I declared to have no belief in the religious system. We basically rejected the notion of people being divided merely by ideologies that were propogated millions of years back when we were not even alive to see what had happened. It made no sense to me that people were worshipping different "gods" and all those people who claimed that their god is the one and only God strengthened my disbelief toward the very idea of religion. Also, this is also when I saw a lot of videos and posts and comments online wherein people were fighting and condemning each other over religion. So I thought to myself, the very purpose of religion, which is to provide spiritual and mental peace is not being achieved, but rather, the opposite is being done.
Yes, at one point, I thought of myself as an atheist not only because of the insensible logic of religion but also because I just got fed up with religion dividing everyone. However, I didn't find the word "atheist" to suit my actual state of mind at the time, when I still believed in God. I believed that there was some supreme power that created the universe and us humans, but religion was a big no-no for me. So at this point, my mom and I were on the same boat; we believed in God but rejected the idea of religions and all those (sometimes) ridiculous rituals.
After some time of keeping thoughts on my faith aside, I finally rekindled them when I was in university. In university, aside from the time I attended classes, completed group assignments and had meals with my best friend, I mostly spent my time alone in my hostel room. Being an introvert, though I missed home, I kind of enjoyed my me-time there, which was what gave me space to reevaluate what I thought of my faith. After some Googling, I had finally come across something that completely matched my internal thoughts on God. It was this time that I had discovered that I am an agnostic.
But it isn't over just yet. In the write-up that I had read, there were three different categories of agnostics, which I will talk about in a bit, right after I define what an agnostic is. So, an agnostic is basically a person who claims neither faith nor disbelief in God. The three types of agnosticism include hard, soft and apathetic agnosticism.
To put it in simple words, hard agnosticism is like saying "We will never know whether God exists or not, simply because we can't", soft agnosticism is like saying "We currently don't know whether there is God or not, but may be able to draw a conclusion in the future, so let's just withhold our judgement on the existence of God for now" and apathetic agnosticism is like saying "The existence or non-existence of God simply has no proof, and it's not like I care anyway".
So, the big question: which category do I belong in? *drumrolls* I am an apathetic agnostic. Because really, I simply don't care. I like to think of practical solutions to problems I face and I completely don't believe in miracles or the God-rewarding-punishing system, so why should I care? It doesn't make a difference to me. I have witnessed AND experienced things that have led to conclusions that they are all fairy tales that merely serve the purpose of giving people hope and confidence in whatever they are going through. Everything in life consists of actions and the reactions to them. I cannot deny that believing that some supernatural being has a certain amount of control in your life sounds nice and hopeful, but I prefer to think realistically, because sometimes, living in dreamland for too long can be self-destructive. Now, this is when my mom and I are no longer on the same page, because she insists that she believes in the existence of God. Nevertheless, I respect her point of view although I am not in agreement with it, which brings me to my final and most important point I am trying to make.
Stick to your belief and do not force them onto other people. Everyone is unique in their own way; we all have different thoughts and opinions, but that doesn't mean we can't respect each other as human beings and be friends, right? So, if you've made it this far into my post, please never ever force your religious beliefs, or even your general opinions as a matter of fact, onto other people. Keep doing what you're doing based on what you think is best for you. Here's my love to all of you reading this ❤️
P. S. I never got into the details of what actually motivated me to stop believing in any religion i.e. the stories and rituals described by people of various religions and my logical response to that, because I do not want to offend any individual. Also, I never shared my personal experiences that led to me questioning God and miracles because well, that's personal :)
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