Sie, book reviewer, queer, any pronouns, mostly reading LGBTQIA+ horror and urban fantasy. Review notes for unpublished books post a few days after publication.
I am so excited to help one of my favorite authors, Ben Alderson, reveal the cover for his next book, GODBUTCHER! An epic MM romantasy inspired by Greek Mythology coming March 5, 2027~
Cover Artist & Title: Spookgeist
Author Name placement: TRC Designs by Cat
Pre-order for Kindle HERE now!
Y'all, I have been obsessing over this cover art for DAYS and I am so excited to finally be able to share it with y'all <3
TWs: rape-specifically marital rape, body horror, murder, abuse, isolation, domestic violence, spousal abuse, mentions of animal torture (not graphic), death, parental loss, miscarriage, child loss, human experimentation
Welp. That was a horrifying mental image.
Okay, already don't like Nicole's sister. Maggie seems like a bitch.
Wait, why are other girls allowed to touch one another but Nicole was not allowed to touch her mom? What cross contamination? Also, why are the women seen as so disposable?
We're not gonna touch on the mushroom aspect of things yet, I'm a little more concerned about that than I want to face right now.
Okay, but I really like the writing style of this book. The imagery is amazing.
Putting my money on Teaghan being the love interest for Nicole.
Wait, that's the marriage ceremony? Dizzy up the girl and send her on her way to her husband's house with terrifying advice to hide from him? Uhhhh...I have Concerns.
Already not digging just how disposable the wives are and Maggie saying that Reese killed her and Nicole's mother on purpose is horrifying. Why does Maggie seem to hate Nicole so much too? Like, damn, what did your little sister ever do to you? Kid wasn't even allowed to leave the house.
The idea of Nicole being forced to marry her mother's now widowed husband is gross. Also, I am almost afraid to know how reproduction works with these women. Or where they came from since this appears to be a closed society.
Silas doesn't seem awful yet? But I still have my concerns for Nicole's well being. Especially with everything being revealed about the kind of person Reese is.
He seems to genuinely want Nicole around and to be around her and I don't know how to feel about that. Especially after the comment of her spending most of her time in the nursery. Like, ew. No thanks.
I'm also guessing that the wives do not live full human lifespans
Okay, so the mushrooms are some sort of mutation and the women are not safe to touch each other because they have no immunity to the types of fungus that grow on others? I still feel like there's more to the story than this.
Teaghan, girlie pop, what are you doing?
Nicole is walking at thin line between obsession and crush.
Okay, so Silas seems like he's actually a very sweet, deeply depressed and lonely man who is still mourning his first wife. I'm afraid to know what happened to his baby.
The fuck do you mean that Nicole is only TWO YEARS OLD??? HOW FUCKING RAPIDLY DO THESE WOMAN AGE?!
Okay, the idea of Nicole's daughter looking like Nicole's mother and being destined to be given to Reese is fucking horrific.
Also. If there are only daughters being born, how is this population going to continue? Why are there no boy children?
What did Silas make her ingest and why did it have to be on a knife???
Oh. Oh that hurts. I can understand Maggie's resentment but it's also not Nicole's fault. She never asked for any of that.
Oooh, I definitely want to know what's in that damned lab.
Uhhh, maybe I didn't want to know what happened to the human women...
What the hell are these men doing to their original wives? What the fuck was Teaghan's body doing? What would happen if Nicole and Teaghan kissed?
What's going on in Nicole's mouth? Is Silas going to hurt Nicole? I don't want him to hurt her.
Girlie, please run. Do not make yourself smaller for this man who is abusive. Especially because he hid it so fucking well in the start. His trauma is not permission to abuse you.
I hate that this man is ripping away Nicole's entire identity.
Oh please do not let her be pregnant with this awful man's baby...
This whole thing is deeply unsettling...
Rip him apart, Nicole. Do it. He is not a good man. Eat him.
Where are they taking Nicole? Why does she think her dead mom is there? Who is this he who supposedly doesn't feel pain???
Who IS Nicole's dad? Why does she think whoever this is cutting into her mouth is her dad???
Well. That answers my question about the lack of baby boys. Did he die naturally or did they do something to Nicole to ensure her son would not make it to birth? Both seems likely at this point.
Who the fuck else is in this house?
The fuck is Silas hiding? And this conversation makes it sound like they did do something to Nicole to ensure her son would not live. How many other sons have died? How many wives have been killed to keep the sons a secret?
Okay, why is Nicole hallucinating Pamela?
Okay, so Maggie's foremother is no longer in the lab. Is Pamela actually in the house with Nicole and Silas too? Or is she just also awake in the lab and there's a mental tethering between her and Nicole?
The way Maggie is talking about her daughter bothers me. I also don't appreciate her little remark about Teaghan.
Speaking of Teaghan, where the fuck has she been?
Okay, I was excited for Teaghan to be back in the story, but then she just ripped apart a dead rabbit and started munching on its guts and now I have even more concerns.
Aaaand then Nicole joins her. Yup. Concerns. So many Concerns.
The kitten murdering story has me clinging to my cats and feeling sick to my stomach.
This might just be the weirdest sex scene I have ever read in my life. Note to self: Mushroom Women are Not My Kink. Good for them though.
Good to know that the girls can reproduce asexually. Hopefully this doesn't get Teaghan, her baby, or Nicole murdered.
Okay, I wasn't fond of Maggie but her death was shitty and deeply unecessary. I really do NOT like how fucking disposable the women are in this world. They deserve so much better.
The fact that Silas doesn't even let Nicole mourn her own sister is so fucking shitty.
Can we maybe not give the mushroom women mushrooms to EAT?! That's a little on the cannibalistic side of things, Silas.
Why is Silas trying to take Nicole into the woods??? I thought the woods weren't safe for ANYONE to go into???? IS HE GOING TO KILL HER????
They're using black mold to "keep radiation out" but the wall is climbable. They're not fully enclosed. Also, black mold is toxic as fuck to humans. What the fuck?
Where the hell do you plan on going, Silas? Wha would happen to Pamela if you felt? What are you going to do when Nicole dies because she will not live nearly as long as you. Did you even think this plan through? Cuz I don't think you did.
Oh shit, the men are giving up and plan on killing all of the women??? Nicole, grab Teaghan and fucking run.
Damn. I was not expecting the issues with the human women to have basically come from Silas himself. Fucking YIKES. And he intentionally tried to have a son, tried to recreate the son he lost. Meaning he lost his child twice... I can understand why he did the things that he has done, but that does not make them right.
What the hell is Nicole doing to Silas? Is she absorbing him???
Oh. No. Worse. She's burrowing into him. Ew. I hope it kills him though.
Finding out that he basically murdered his son by experimenting on him is horrific.
Oh. She uh...yeah. She fucking ate him. That was horrific. 10/10 fuck yeah, Seaking.
Okay, so the women made a whole ass statue and are about to start a fire. Are we going to kill all of the men before they can murder all of the women? Because that is the vibe I am catching here.
Was not expecting the mushrooms under the earth to reclaim the women. What the actual fuck? Poor Nicole being forced to lose Teaghan and Teaghan's baby like that though like damn.
I knew the baby would be upsetting to Nicole after her own loss...
Burn it all the fuck down, Nicole!
I'm glad she found where her baby was laid to rest and she is still able to have some sort of connection there, but I am also really glad that Teaghan's baby made it.
Okay, that was a bittersweet ending but a good ending.
**I recieved an advance copy from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review**
Wow. Just. Wow. It's been a minute since I've read something so deeply horrifying and visceral. I am completely astounded by the depth and care that went into every detail of this book. The plants, the monsters, the characters, all phenomenally done.
I had to pause more than once with this book because of just how descriptive it was in all aspects. I am pretty sure I'm going to have nightmares and I loved every second of it. I spent the entire book rooting for Petra especially because she has just the sweetest heart and only wants to help the people around her. In spite of everything she has gone through, that spirit, that care, it's a hard glow to keep and it's impossible not to love her because of it.
Jade is such a good contrast to that, the fighter to Petra's healer. Devoted and hard, caring in her own way. The dynamic between her and Petra is truly impressive and a very good example of a brains and brawn combo. I do wish we would have gotten a little more of her story, I would love to know more about her bond with Petra and how she came to be under Ms. Opal's care, but a little mystery definitely makes it that much more engaging.
And then there's Flint, a precarious balance between the two. Someone who knew Petra before tragedy struck and who still wants what's best for her. He shows that friendship can endure, even if it no longer looks the same. Even if you no longer really know the other person, that care doesn't just go away.
The Void itself was so wonderfully crafted and terrifying that I could honestly picture the plants and creatures in such a way that it filled me with dread and unease, like I was going to look over my shoulder and see one of those monstrosities lurking behind me, biding its time. The lore was also very well done. Engaging, just informative enough to show how little is actually known about the place while also showing WHY so little is known.
I am just so completely blown away by What Feeds Below and I cannot recommend it enough.
TWs: Spoilers, death, parental death, grief, animal cruelty, war, torture
Alright, are we gonna start taking bets now on how badly Ben manages to stress me out with this book? Because I have a feeling that the answer here is going to be a lot.
I too would be like "nah, fuck you, I'mma get me a dragon". Forever Team Max here.
I love that Simion seems to have Max's back when it comes to his aunt. Max definitely needs the backup. But also, oof the handfastng mark still being a thing because I have MONEY on Cam not being truly dead. And by money I mean like 2 pennies.
Ben, I'm gonna need you to be nicer to your characters or I swear to fucking hell I'm stealing your fuckin' shins.
Yup, still not a fan of Leska. I still think she's a bitch.
Okay, if she keeps Max from getting killed, I might like her a little.
Simion, look at you being the cutest little stalker ever. Also. Dayn seems like a very sweet kid and if anything happens to him, I will riot.
Now what issue do the fucking elders have with Max? He literally has not done ANYTHING to warrant the way he has been treated since all of this began!
STEPH!!!! MY QUEEEEEEN!!!! BEN, YOU BETTER NOT HURT HER!!!!
GODDAMMIT, BEN! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS??? WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS???
I AM GONG TO STEAL YOUR FUCKING SHINS, BEN. MY BELOVED QUEEN AND HER PEOPLE DID NOT DESERVE THAT!!!
I fucking hate Leia. Can a dragon eat her? Please? I am BEGGING at this point.
Ooooh, Max is finally getting a new amplifier? Is he gonna go with another wand? Or something harder to take from him?
Okay, but if Max is the former Queen's biological son and she was connected to the Heart Oak, shouldn't Max be able to heal it before it dies out? Isn't that sort of his destiny or whatever? To take the Queen's place and bond to the tree?
Max, baby, just tell the sweet boy yes because you both want that to be the answer.
I mean, at least a ring is easier to wield than a wand.
Max's outfit sounds fire and I'm kind of jealous I don't have that outfit...
I love that Simion gets along with Max's mom and I think Max really needed that too.
This slow burn is going to be the DEATH of me, I swear.
I love the moments where Max and Simion just get to indulge in silly banter. Like, damn, let them just have a smidge of normalcy. Here for it.
I cannot stand Leia.
Okay, Dayn, I see you! Itty bitty having both kinds of magic!
The fuck did Leska just come in and tell Leia? What's with the berries and shit? What the fuck is going on? Ben, am I about to yell at you some more? I feel like I'm about to yell at you some more.
Ugh, I fucking love Simion.
Why do the council members suddenly smell like Camron to Max? To quote Taking Back Sunday "I've got a bad feeling about this".
Ben, I swear to fucking every god to ever exist, I am going to steal your fucking SHINS. WHY ARE YOU TAKING AWAY EVERYONE MAX LOVES????? HIS MOM DOESN'T DESERVE THIS. HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS.
Okay, I am actually beginning to like Leska. I like a bitch with a motive that doesn't include killing characters I love. Love a Bitch With Purpose.
Okay, Leska's dad seems pretty chill but I'm also pretty sure dude is hiding some shit.
I do like that Cyder is actively trying to help Max and his mom. I hope whatever this is works. Max has lost enough dammit.
DID LEIA DO THIS TO MAX'S MOM??? IS THAT WHAT CYDER IS HINTING AT????
Uhhhh, what the fuck is Max's mom talking about? Please tell me this is some delerium induced panic and not some new big bad...
Is something bad going to happen any time these two kiss? Who the fuck is phoenix fire bombing the fucking LIBRARY???
Okay, 1. I think Leska is beginning to actually like Max as a person. Girl, we see that worry. 2. Please tell me she's not hinting at the heart oak being completely destroyed now...
Ya know, I would not be shocked if Leia was a traitor. Simion, on the other hand, I have full faith in.
Well, that's one way to tell Max you're in love with him, Simion.
Simion living at a tavern weirdly tracks.
Spoiler Alert: Max is fucking awful at flirting. I say this like my notes aren't just spoilers fest already.
What the actual fuck just happened???? DID WE JUST HAVE MAX DIE OR SOME SHIT???
Okay, not dead, that's good but Ben, my dude, what the fuck? Why did you have to let us settle into a false sense of fucking security?
But also, no shit Camron's still alive. It's a lot harder than that to actually fully kill a phoenix.
Now what the fuck is Leia trying to blame Max for? Leska does not seem pleased by it though and Simion def wants to throw hands.
Why are we jump starting the Claim? There are pieces of this story missing and I do not trust Leia at fucking all.
Max, I'm pretty sure Cyder would have found a way to make sure your mom was okay without you telling Simion and Leska what the fuck is going on.
Also, why the FUCK does Leia have Camron's journal? Also HOW does she have it?
Why do we have to drug the people participating in the Claim? What was the point of that? I mean, I do trust Simion to look after Max's mom but woof, yikes. I hope Leska doesn't betray Max over this. I want to love her dammit.
Seems pretty risky to drug someone and then dump them in snowy mountains with dragons with zero shelter to protect them from the elements. Does frostbite not exist in this universe? Because half a day in the cold like that? Frostbite. I will have to ask Ben about this on the server... Also. Hypothermia. Does that not exist either???
Max, please do not hurt yourself to get out of this shit. How can you help your mother if you're severely injured? Also, where are the other people supposed to be doing this? Team work makes the dream work or whatever, right?
I keep coming back to the hypothermia and frostbite issue. I am too hyper-focused on that of all things.
Dayn better not be dead I swear to fucking god. BEN, DAYN BETTER NOT BE FUCKING DEAD.
Okay, good, Dayn is alive, Max is alive, they passed the trial. But fucking YIKES on Dayn having to witness the death of Sophia like that. That was fucking rude as shit.
I would not be shocked if Leia DID have something to do with the missing novices. My money is on her infecting them with Camron's ashes to make the phoenix possessed people she might be able to control, kind of a fight fire with fire sort of thing. Which is shitty and gross as fuck.
Just realized that Camron might personally be dead but the phoenix that was possessing him is most likely NOT dead dead and anyone infected with those ashes is carrying part of that phoenix. Max's handfasting wasn't JUST to Camron but to the phoenix as well so it would make sense that it would take a moment for the pain to hit when he tried to go against that bond with Simion. If I'm right about this, I am going to fucking scream.
Oh. Damn. Good to know Max was dropped on his own because the other novices (outside of Dayn, clearly), had planned on making him a sacrifice to try to pass their trials. Fucking YIKES. Can we just stop trying to murder Max? Please?
What the fuck is Dayn doing to Max? Is he saying he owes him his life because Max saved him from that creature? Because that's really just kind of who Max is as a person. Not sure knocking him out is the best salvation tactic to be used here.
Yeah, no, I fucking hate bridges. I would be terrified to cross that fucking thing.
Damn. The sanity test was rough.
KILLING DAYN WAS NOT FUCKING NECCESSARY. BEN, I SWEAR TO FUCKING HELL I AM STEALING YOUR GODDAMN SHINS OVER THIS.
Also, please tell me that Max just takes the golden dragon who just had all her eggs stolen from her instead of taking an egg himself. Let him and momma Fury be a team. They both need it.
I'm glad Max's dragon is an adult and not a stolen baby. Grief bonds are so fucking real and I hate that they both had to lose so much to get to this point.
I'm still so upset over Dayn but also relieved that Max is making sure his body is returned to his family.
Shit. WHO FUCKING TOLD BITCH TITS ABOUT MAX'S MOM????
I fucking swear to HELL, Max's mother better not be fucking dead
Oh shit. I was expecting Simion to be on the side of the rebels, I was not, however, expecting Leska. MY GIRL!!!!
Ahh yes, another LEROOOOOOOOY JENKINS!! Moment from Max. I mean, I get it, I would have done the same but that's not exactly a great idea either.
WE GOT BEA!!!!! BEA HAS BEEN FREED!!! MY BABY!!!! BEN, IF YOU KILL HER, I WILL NEVER FUCKING FORGIVE YOU!
Again, do hypothermia and frostbite just not exist in this universe??? I know this is a dumb thing to keep getting hung up on but I have Concerns.
I may or may not have just posed that question to Ben in the server...
Simion, baby, stop making promises you can't actually keep...
Wait a second, is Cyder leading the rebellion??? What the actual fuck is going on here?
Okay, so what was Cyder's doing and what was Leia's?
How are these people going to react when they all find out that Max is, biologically, the former Queen's son and that his mom was a surrogate who took the baby and ran?
Ooooh, so momma is alive and being tended to by water nymphs. I am so fucking here for this. Yes, good, let Max's mom LIVE.
Ok, but like, didn't Camron become phoenix possessed when he was on the unknown isles in the first place? Is this really the best place to be setting up base? Like, yeah, sure, you have the nymphs here but like...I have concerns.
"Your compliance is truly appreciated" rings way too much like "Compliance is key" and I am not a fucking fan of that. Cyder somewhat echoing King Gathrax makes me real uneasy.
HELL YEAH, FIGHT FO YO MAN, MAX!!!!
Again, Max is Bad At Flirting xD
Oh, I did ask Ben about the hypothermia/frostbite issue and he doesn't have an answer because of how long ago he wrote these books xD I found this to be oddly comforting because at least he doesn't know either and he created the damn universe lmfao.
No, but seriously, how the fuck did Camron get off that fucking island?
Oooh, Inyris is a pretty name for a dragon. I'm here for it.
Max and Bea def needed this conversation, to actually talk.
Ya know, I think Leska and Beatrice would be cute together...
I don't trust Cyder. I trust Leia even less. This is going to be a fucking shit show, I can feel it in my bones.
Seriously, what the fuck is the nightmare Max has been having and why is the chant from it written in Camron's journal in someone else's handwriting? I've got a bad feeling about this.
Ah, so Simion is, uh, thick. Got it. Sorry, the mental image made me giggle cuz ow no thanks xD
We love a good praise kink.
EVEN IN A FANTASY REALM, LUBE EXISTS!!! HELLS YES! Please take note, literally everyone writing m/m sex scenes; yes, lube is THAT important.
Why do I get the feeling that wasn't the wind Max was hearing?
Yeah, no, I wouldn't trust the sudden guard outside either.
Max, baby, what do you mean you can't sense Inyris's presence? That sounds like A Very Bad Thing.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING TO MY GIRL LESKA???? BEEEEEEEN!!! DO NOT!!!!!
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. THIS SHIT BETTER BE TEMPORARY
I KNEW I DIDN'T FUCKING TRUST CYDER
I swear to fucking everything, Inyris better not fucking die.
YOU DID NOT JUST FUCKING KILL BEA AND GLAMORA!!!!!
Cyder knowing who Max truly is does not feel like a good fucking thing to me. Also, where is Inyris? Is she okay? What about Simion and Leska??? WHERE ARE MY BABIES, BEN?!
What, CYDER is creating the phoenix possessed???? DID HE DO THIS TO MAX'S MOM?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! HE FUCKING INFECTED SIMION TOO???? I AM GOING TO COMMIT FELONIES.
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Camron IS alive. Fucking YIKES. Even he didn't deserve to be tortured like this.
Seeing Camron like this actually does kind of fucking hurt.
Max, you're not alone. You have Leska. Leska, who has had several chances to turn on you or kill you but has stood with you even when she hated you. You're not alone. In Leska we trust.
IN LESKA WE FUCKING TRUST, LET'S FUCKIN' GO, BABYYYYYYY!!!!!
I swear to fucking everything, removing that goddamn feather better have cured Simion. I will fucking RIOT otherwise.
Okay, so, solid plan to get the kids out of there, Simion is awake, but what of Inyris? Are you just going to leave her to fend for herself?
Oh shit, Cam's dead for real this time??? I mean, cool for Max to finally be free but goddamn, another death for Max to blame himself over.
Hold the FUCK UP. WHAT DO YOU MEAN CYDER IS MAX'S BIOLOGICAL FATHER???? MAX AND LESKA ARE SIBLINGS??????
GLAMORA SURVIVED?!?!?! DOES THIS MEAN BEATRICE IS ALIVE???? Also, how does Simion still have phoenix powers if the feather was removed???
I have a feeling Max's mom isn't going to survive Cyder stabbing her in the fucking stomach though and I am going to ugly sob.
The fact that Max's grief is so powerful he could create a third heart oak is so shattering that I am going to throw up.
Well, that explains how Oribon and the other dragons were locked in a mountain.
BEA'S ALIVE?!?! MY BABY!!!!!! THANK FUCKING FUCK!!!
Okay, well, glad Leia's finally seeing reason and is willing to follow Max's lead now.
That....that is a TERRIBLE FUCKING PLACE TO END A FUCKING BOOK.
Okay, I need to stop using Ben's books as a reward for knocking other books off of my TBR because all he does is stress me out and emtionally devastate me. Which, generally speaking, are the marks of a great book for me.
A lot of trilogies start to fall apart during the second book, but not here. If anything, I just became more invested. Which only served to make me ugly cry more than once.
Max really begins to step into himself in this one and I genuinely love that for him. Seeing a character finally begin to find his footing, to start forging his own way, even when it's risky or dangerous, is always beautiful. But the thing that really sticks out with Max is how much he's willing to risk for the people he loves. He always tries to do right by his people, even when it's difficult and especially when the odds are not in his favor. That kind of loyalty and stubbornness is a lovely mix.
I also really loved the way Leska's character grew over the course of the book. Getting to see beyond her hurt and anger to the person she truly is? I completely fell in love with her by the end of the book. I honestly can't wait to see how the dynamic between her and Max shifts in the final book but I'm also really looking forward to seeing how things play out with her and Beatrice.
I also just really adore Beatrice and Simion so much. Simion's pure devotion to Max is such a light in the darkness and I love how he never loses his hope or his faith in Max. Even when he makes the wrong choice, he does it with the best of intentions and the purest heart. I also love that Bea never loses her fire. No matter how they try to break her, she pushes through and pushes Max to follow through.
With this book mostly serving to set up the final, it feels like a fantastic bridge with a life of its own. Yes, you can feel that it's leading up to something bigger but it still manages to be engaging instead of just a stepping stone. The way Ben creates worlds, breathes life into every aspect of them, is nothing short of astounding and while I can't wait to find out what happens next, I'm also not ready for this story to be done.
Having a phrase about how easily the main character's child could be dead in the opening of the book is fucking diabolical. CG, what have you gotten me into now? This is page goddamn one. What the fuck?
OK, but the comment from the Doctor about how prettier kids are easier to get assistance for is fucking gross, and unfortunately, not that inaccurate. Thanks, I hate it. Good on Elodie for also knowing that comment was gross and ripping up that referral, though.
You know, when a child tells you that the house is bad and that it doesn't like you guys and that the house thinks you guys are bad, maybe consider not living in the creepy fucking house. Just a thought.
The way Elodie seems to feel about Jude, about wanting to break his fingers and shit...I almost feel like she's hoping this baby will be different and she can get rid of her son.
Nah bitch, you won't ever catch me be wholly dependent on some man. Fuck that.
I just really do not like her thoughts about her kid... I'm terrified she's gonna hurt Jude.
Bren seems really self righteous and out of touch on parenting things.
That is a creepy level of codependency from a fully grown adult.
Ummmm. Why is there blood in the wall?
Okay. Ew on the way Ava is tiptoeing around shit and insinuating that Elodie isn't meeting Jude's needs and that being why he acts out. I hate all of the adults in this book.
No, no, I think the kid has a point. I'm def team Jude. Props to the daycare lady for trying to make sure Jude is getting the right accommodation in daycare/school.
Stop. Just stop. Not only did she break the house that baby worked so hard on, SHE THREW IT AWAY IN FRONT OF HIM. Can't stand this bitch. JUSTICE FOR JUDE!
Yeah, no, I'd've locked her ass out too.
Absolutely the fuck not. Don't you snap your grown ass man fingers in that little kid's face. I'm going to punch this man through my phone on my life.
Yeah, that was a terrifying fucking thing to hear from a child. Burn the whole ass house down.
Okay, the way Bren said that make it sound like someone in Elodie's family hurt her or Jude, like, actually hurt them. And now I'm curious. Also, how much longer does Elodie think she can keep her very obvious rage issues under control? How long before she actually snaps at Bren?
Why is Elodie's family in some true crime podcast? What the actual fuck is going on here?
...Did she kill her parents?
Weird that the people who owned the house of the estate sale Bren wanted to go to died in what seems the same way as Elodie's parents. Which now has me wondering if Bren's a serial killer. If he is, at least that would be interesting.
Damn, not how the estate sale home owner died. I wanted secret serial killer Bren.
Elodie being that angry and jealous about her son showing anyone else affection is gross as fuck. What is her weird obsession with wanting to be the only thing that matters to her kid?
Uhhhh what was the liquid that came out of the ceiling? Why was there glass in Jude's spaghettio's???? What the fuck??????
Man that baby ain't even born yet and she's already being creepy obsessive over that one too.
Are the walls really alive and infected or does Elodie just need medicated? I'm betting on option 2.
Fucking christ on that bit of back story. Girl needs THERAPY, not kids...
Okay but the teacher's right??? Jude absolutely needs an assessment and an IEP.
This woman is one breakdown away from psychiatric icu.
Oh this fight is nasty. These two are so fucking toxic holy shit.
Fucking YIKES on her drugging Jude to sleep when he was like 2. Also getting the vibe she drowned her baby brother.
Like, the pretty solid examples of neglect explain a lot about her weird, creepy levels of codependency, but it does not excuse any of this shit.
Is this just a shared delusion between Elodie and Jude?
Okay, her viewing the baby as a do over, a better version of Jude, is so fucking gross. Someone please take these kids away from her.
While I like Bren using breathing exercises to calm Jude, I don't like the implied threat and I'm hoping his words just came across off because of Elodie's bias.
Uhhhh Bren better NOT have fucking hit Jude.
What truth is Bren talking about with Ava? Did he kill Elodie's parents? Did Elodie kill her parents? Something ain't adding up here.
Wait a minute. Hold the fuck up. I can't tell if she is keeping her kid malnourished or if not at this point. Her thoughts are gross.
Uhhhh what do you mean her hands were around Jude's throat????
Did he just drug his pregnant wife????
Someone please get Jude out of that house away from these fucking people jesus fucking christ.
Okay, so, we know Bren has no problem drugging Elodie so what's to stop him from making it seem like the house is bleeding or whatever? What's to stop him from breaking her mind to make sure she never leaves? I don't trust either one of them. They're both horrible people.
YIKES on Bren locking Elodie in the bedroom with him. He really means to keep her locked down and unable to go anywhere.
Does the door to the house not have a way to unlock it from the inside? Elodie, babes, you have a brain, use it.
Yeah, no, I too would have taken a circular saw to all of the walls if I was locked in there like that. But also, why did he lie about the house not having a basement? What the fuck does he have hidden down here? Dead bodies or some shit?
Why does he have a photo of her and Jude from three years ago when they have not known eachother that long??? Is he Jude's bio father? Because that would weirdly explain a lot.
Fucking lead poisoning and black mold. Seriously? Seriously?? I'm so annoyed.
Welp. Shit. Called that one. No wonder he didn't want her to see the photos of him as a teenager. He IS Jude's father.
Okay, but if neither one of them have been hitting the kid, where did the marks come from???
Oh. So. She did murder her parents. Did she turn on the saw this dumbass stalker of a man is practically hugging? Did she kill him too? This is a trainwreck. These people are a trainwreck. What the actual fuck.
Nope. I would have murdered my parents too if they had locked my child in a garage for two days without taking care of him. I would have killed them a lot more painfully and slowly than I'm sure she did if the police think it was a joint fucking suicide.
Yup. She turned the saw on. Jesus fucking hell.
Her telling Jude she's gonna give him a bath and make him some soup is making my stomach fucking hurt.
Ahhh, so they were rashes on Jude. That makes more sense.
HOW THE FUCK IS BREN ALIVE?????
Okay, so the saw was shitty, that makes a lot of sense. Also, yikes on her being the reason her little brother died, but who the fuck leaves an 8 year old to watch a 2 year old in the bath??? That wasn't her fault, the rest of her shitty ass choices are her fault though.
Damn, that was fucked all the way up. Her mom SUCKED. But also yikes on her naming her son after he dead baby brother.
Oh cool, they lost Jude in the fucking mold and lead infested walls. Love that.
This poor kid is going to be so fucking traumatized jesus fucking christ.
Aaaaand now she's hacking his body to pieces to stuff the pieces in the walls. Fucking hell. CG is getting my therapy bills mailed directly to them.
Is Elodie giving Jude to Ava? Because that would be the first smart choice this woman has made this entire fucking book.
Oh that was fucked. She straight up replaced her son and even gave his name to the new baby. What the actual fuck.
Okay, so, holy damn. That was, without a doubt, one of the most interesting books I have ever read. It's beautifully written, horrifying, heartbreaking, resilient, gratifying. I just, I am astounded by the depth of emotion and horror that this book inspired.
While the characters, in some ways, lack depth, it is very necessary for the story. It's less about what Nicole knows and more about what she feels, what she experiences, what she becomes. What they all become, really.
At its very core, I would call this a perfect example female rage and empowerment, a pure display of women finding a way to support one another in spite of deep oppression and violence. It bites back as well as softly drifts in a way that is tragically beautiful, bittersweet, and cloyingly cathartic. There is beauty in rage but there is also beauty in the quiet surrender to the place you were always meant to find in the end.
There are some triggering scenes in this book, I will not pretend there isn't so I will heavily recommend looking into those, but I also truly recommend this book to anyone who needs to know that you are allowed to fight back, that you are more than the part of you that others put importance on. Your rage is justified and there is splendor in every part of your being.
I honestly cannot wait to see what else Laura comes up with because, for a debut novel, this was absolutely incredible and I am completely in awe.
Hey Hector, baby, why are we killing people we're sleeping with? That doesn't seem like a healthy coping mechanism.
Ah, nevermind. Asked and fucking answered.
Okay Hector, I see you. Damn. Here for it but still, damn.
Ugh, I miss Caym too.
I hate that Arwyn is stuck with a demon sunk down around his bones. Poor kid just wanted to protect his boyfriend and try to make him not hate him.
Arwyn, baby, please stop hoping for Hector to kill you. I am already still upset over book 1, do not make this one worse on my poor heart.
Ooooh, definitely here for Arwyn drugging the demon possessing him and lying to his shitty father to buy Hector more time.
Okay Arwyn, I see you trying to be a sneaky sneak. But also YIKES on being literally held prisoner. I mean, you very likely COULD get out if you stopped drugging the demon down but like, oof, at what fucking cost?
Jesus Tomin is insane.
Oof, getting the poison out of his system to use the demon to contact Hector is a BOLD move and I'm not sure Hector is going to be thrilled by it.
ROMY!!!! MY GIRL!!!! At least Hector still has bestie with him.
No, no, Romy has a solid point, Hector. No one has killed more witch hunters than you have and you're about the only person who still has access to magic in some form or another. Which, is that because he's still technically linked to Bahmet since the demon was possessing his mother the entire time she was pregnant with him? Is Hector some sort of technical cambion? Cuz that...would have a lot of sense, actually.
Okay, so the old magic is still accessible to anyone willing to put in the work but the other abilities are not and because of his tether to Bahmet, Hector can use both forms of magic. That makes a lot more sense.
Yeah, probably not the best way to call your boyfriend, er EXboyfriend, Arwyn.
Really, Hector? You can't at least hear him out before you try to rip his throat out with your bare hands??? Where's Romy, she at least has some SENSE.
Well. Did not expect that method of travel. Romy is gonna be so pissed at Hector for this one and it's not even his fault.
Oh for fuck's sake, Arwyn. Calling him Little Kitty was a bad move.
The fact that Arwyn is trying so fucking hard to warn Hector, even with Hector wanting to kill him, ugh, my fucking HEART.
Fucking christ. TOMIN BETTER NOT HAVE JUST FUCKING KILLED ARWYN, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. BEN, I'M GOING TO CRY, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME????
Hector, please, for the love of everything, just listen to Romy for once and don't do anything fucking stupid.
Did Tomin give Arwyn the wrong information? Was this a test that he was certain Arwyn would fail? IS ROMY OKAY?!
Oooh, I like snarky Arwyn. Hector would be proud if he wasn't so pissed at him. Probably.
...Please don't tell me this random woman is related to my beloved Romy...
We stan a loyal king. PROTECT YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!
Did this bitch really bring in a tv to show Arwyn that his dad tried to blow Hector up???
Oh. Worse. Way worse. I didn't know Arwyn's mother had a sister. Why is his aunt so fucking AWFUL???
Okay, so, his aunt truly sucks ass.
Yeah, seriously, why is Bahmet so terrified of Hector?
Smart play, Arwyn. Smart fucking play.
I mean, come on, Hector saved the pilot at least! Is the gun really necessary??
Leave it to Hector to gain a new familiar and it be an animal he's terrified of lmfaoooo. But now the viper part of the title makes a whole lot more sense.
Okay, but I like Emon. He's a snarky little shit.
ROMY!!!! SHE LIIIIIVES!!!!!!
Cackling at Romy thinking Emon the viper is cute. Hector is going to HATE that, I'm sure.
Emon already trying to bite people is my new favorite thing.
You fucking tell them, Romy! MY GIRL!!!!
Okay, but what the fuck is the story between Romy and Kai? I thought Romy wasn't into dudes given her previous statements to that fact? Also not sure I like Kai yet either. He seems like a little bitch.
I mean, Kai DOES have a point because Hector is still definitely in love with Arwyn, but Arwyn doesn't want any of this either. He loves Hector. Please just let my boys be happy and together and ALIVE. Otherwise Elmo WILL be fucking suing.
The fact that Emon appears to be some sort of demonic prince is honestly fucking hilarious to me.
Iiiiii do not trust Kai. At all.
Huh. Why does Emon have an interest in destroying Bahmet?
Wait, hold up. Emon is Caym's brother??? Like for real or like in a we're both demons sort of way??? This is knowledge that is going to hurt me.
Nope. Don't like where this conversation is going.
Things I did NOT have on my fucking bingo card: Arwyn ripping some motherfucker's throat out with his teeth. Kind of here for it though, ngl.
Dude, you have the ability to just poof yourself elsewhere, fucking USE IT!!!
YESSSSS!!! GO GET YOUR MANS BACK, ARWYN!!!!
Jesus fucking hell. Hector was right, he really should have gone alone because now Romy's life is at fucking risk. I don't give a fuck about Kai's.
Can we please bring Emon back and let him bite Tomin?
Wait, outlawed pregnancy?? Hector's mom wasn't even supposed to have a baby??? What the fuck?
Why did he have Emon bite him? Because that is 100% what that injury is. Whatcha doin', Hector? And why don't I like it?
Okay, but that was a good shot to fire. I am cackling.
Woah, wait, back the fuck up. HOW THE FUCK DID TOMIN SURVIVE THAT?!
WHY THE FUCK DOES HE KEEP COMING BACK TO LIFE?!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MAN????
Uhhhh, who the fuck would be stupid enough to curse Tomin with fucking immortality???
But also, what kind of monster forces his own child to try to kill him several times just to prove he can't fucking die? Jesus fucking hell, Arwyn needs a few centuries of fucking therapy.
Right, sure, shoot Hector right in front of Arwyn. Great. Love that for all of us. BEN, I AM GOING TO CRY AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
Oh, cool, back in Bahmet's little playground with Hector 98% dead. This book is stressing me the fuck out.
Oh, thank FUCK Hector's healed and not dead.
Yeah, no, I get that. I also hate roller coasters but that's more because they trigger my vertigo.
I swear to fucking everything, if Romy dies, I will burn this whole planet to the ground.
Why is Verena suddenly helping Arwyn, Hector, Romy, and Kai? I swear to everything, if Arwyn and Romy are secretly cousins, I might shoot myself.
I really don't like when Hector taps into Bahmet's power but oof on Kai being, at least for now, dead as shit. I don't like Romy being sad.
Hey, uh guys? Are we really sure we want to dabble in necromancy? What if what you summon and put into Kai's body isn't, ya know, Kai?
Oh shit, what's the secret???
I do NOT like where this is fucking going.
Okay, not the sacrifice I expected Hector to be making, so that's a bit of a relief but what the fuck did Kai just go through that had him waking up screaming like that???
Ah. Okay. Yeah, no, I'd be freaking the fuck out if I was suddenly tethered to a demon like that too.
Kind of curious as to how this pub is holding after Hector gave up his shard of Bahmet's being to Kai.
Yeah, no, Hector has a point. Getting Kai far the fuck away from Bahmet is definitely the safest thing for everyone involved.
This whole conversation is going to hurt me. I'm beginning to think Ben was not exaggerating when he told me this book is 99% pain and only 1% happiness.
Is...is this the 1% of happiness? Is the rest of the book going to be pure agony now??? MY BOYS ARE BACK TOGETHER!!!! I swear to fucking everything if one or both of them dies in the end, I'm throwing my phone.
Okay, 1 we all know I love explicit consent and 2 I fucking love Hector giving said consent but in the most antagonistic way he could manage with all of the blood in his body already in his dick xD
Still cackling over Hector managing to conjure fucking lube with the pub. Boy has got it BAD for Arwyn xD
Oh shit, we got I love yous and I'm pretty sure Arwyn just completely bound himself to Hector by oath. This is going to come back to hurt me, I feel it in my bones.
Maaan, being transported anywhere completely naked would suck.
Arwyn, what the fuck did you do???
I DIDN'T KNOW BAHMET COULD FUCKING DO THAT!
I'm also squinting at Verena and trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with her and Romy. I swear to god, if she's Romy's mom and Romy and Arwyn are cousins, I am going to punch someone.
Ben, what the actual fuck?
Good thing Bahmet made a rule about not hurting your partner in this trial cuz otherwise Kai would have absolutely punched Hector already.
Oh shit, Kai and Romy DID try to leave. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.
Yes, Hector, we know doing anything straight isn't your thing xD but also mood
EMON!!!!! I am so happy to see that snarky little asshole. But my biggest question is now: did Emon bring actual backup or did Kai just end up with a familiar of his own?
Okay, 1. How fucking old IS Tomin's bitch ass? and 2. Was he involved in the burning of Eleanor Letcombe? Was he there that day, when Eleanor gave Hector her grimoire?
HOLD THE ACTUAL FUCK ALL THE WAY THE FUCK UP. ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT TOMIN WAS ELEANOR'S FUCKING HUSBAND?!
Ya know, I don't know why the fucking zombies are such a shock but, here I am, completely and utterly surprised as a zombie is crawling out of its fucking grave.
Tomin being Eleanor's husband is fucking wild to me. I did NOT see that one coming. I figured he had something to do with her death, I did not figure how deeply involved. Holy fuck.
UMMM EXCUSE ME?! 1. WHY IS HECTOR BREAKING THE NO MAGIC RULE SO BOLDLY? 2. WHY THE FUCK IS ARWYN ON FUCKING FIRE?! BEN, WHAT THE FUCK?!
What the actual fuck??? HOW ARE THEY ENDING UP ON THE PYRES?!?!
Not me sitting here quoting the Lion King 2. Roasty toasty Princess~
I mean, at least Hector's gamble paid off?
I wonder how badly Romy's going to react to finding out that Verena is her mother. I'm also really amused that Hector managed to end up in this situation with Arwyn and Romy being cousins; dating one and besties with the other, all while NONE OF THEM FUCKING KNEW.
Small moment of cute happiness and now I'm expecting the rest of this scene to rip my fucking heart out of my chest and stomp it into the dirt.
Hector is taking the rune mark a lot better than I expected but I am also not shocked he asked Arwyn to remove it
Why the fuck did Verena just try to stab Hector????
Oh, that makes a lot more sense.
Did they both forget that they said they loved each other prior to the last trial??? I'm gonna smack both of them upside the head.
I see where you're hinting, Hector, but Verena really ought to be the one to tell Romy the truth, not you.
Okay, I gotta be real fucking honest, I was not expecting that spell to work at all. But also, why did Hector hear a dog barking?
Hector, my beloved, please stop goading the demon lord while you are strapped to a chair.
Oh cool, actual, literal torture. TW for broken fingers because I know that's a big one for a LOT of people. Jesus fucking christ, Ben, why?!
Okay, ow. The fact that Verena was forced to all of this awful shit just to keep Romy safe fucking hurts.
Goddammit Arwyn, just give the answer the demon fucking wants, holy shit.
Really driving in the finger shit with this one and I am not pleased by it. Ben, please, for the love of my sanity, don't.
Oooh, now everyone else is finding out that Bahmet was part of the reason Tomin is immortal.
Not Romy going full honey badger levels of rage on Tomin. MY GIRL!!!!
This book is pain. This fandom is a fucking prison. Arwyn is gonna have some explainin' to do when he's awake and not in physical shock from the injuries.
Oof, three days already of Arwyn being out of it is not great when the next trial can start at any fucking second.
Awww, Romy pulling the cousin card. Girl, I would have done the same.
Okay, taking a pause from plot things for a second to wonder where the fuck Emon and the demon kitten are.
Asked and answered lmfao
Okay 1. Kai is fucking brilliant and 2. Lmfao Emon, you're fine, calm down.
Good to know that the real world has gone to complete and total shit in the time they've all been stuck in the trials.
Ya know, I really fucking hate this plan. Like, a lot.
Because Hector's bitch ass really doesn't ever fucking listen.
Verena, baby, I hope you survive this and you get to spend the rest of your life making amends to your daughter.
I really hope Hector gets to sit down with Verena and hear stories about his parents. He really deserves to have that connection to someone who knew them.
Hector, there are some moments where you should probably just keep your mouth shut.
Oh shit, I did not see that coming. GodDAMN Kai is a smart ass motherfucker. I actually feel kind of bad for having so many doubts about him earlier in the series.
Yeah, still don't like Bahmet riding shotgun in Hector's body.
Can we go back to an earlier line of questioning? Is Emon really Caym's brother? Because, like, I'm glad Hector finally accepts Emon but I also still really want an answer to that one and it has not been brought back up. I will message Ben if I have to.
Fucking dammit, Arwyn, you're a goddamn idiot. You and Hector really are fucking perfect for one another.
Oooh are we gonna get to find out what the note said???
Hector, you brilliant little shit, I love you. But uh, seriously, is Kai gonna be okay???
UHHH EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME?! HECTOR BETTER NOT ACTUALLY FUCKING DIE, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, BEN, ELMO'S GONNA FUCKING SUE!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! HAVING HIM DIE IN ARWYN'S ARMS??? FUCK THIS WHOLE FUCK ASS BOOK.
Yeah, I'm crying. Fuck this book.
Okay, but this crossroads scene is heartbreaking and sweet all in one and I AM IN A GLASS CASE OF FUCKING EMOTION.
I love that Hector's mom had to scold him for mouthing off to Hekate xD
CAYM!!!! AND NOW I'M FUCKING SOBBING AGAIN BECAUSE HECTOR GOT TO SEE CAYM ONE LAST TIME. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?????
I am far too emotional for this.
Wait, hold on a second, Hector was DEAD. Where the fuck is Emon???
No, I agree with Hector on that one. Arwyn definitely needed to know what Heather had said and it really needed to be just for him.
I, too, would have been real confused when people started clapping for me.
Okay, so Kai's familiar is still around. But where the fuck is Emon?
I mean, yay that everyone survived but uh, where the fuck is Emon??? What happened to Hector's familiar??? Did their connection get completely severed? Why didn't Kai's if he was in the same afterlife crossroads as Hector??? I am actually genuinely upset that there's no answer on Emon. I liked him.
Oooh, is this gonna be another dual POV? I like that in books, not gonna lie.
Okay, so, Leon's a bitch and Colton needs to learn to stand up for himself.
Oooh, why did Colton and Isaac break up? Colton still seems to have some hangups there and I am NOSY.
Ah. Okay. Colton was a dick. Got it.
Colton, my dude, are you sure plagiarism is a good idea with the fact that you're skating on thin ice already???
Poor Isaac. I would also be pissed if my shitty ex was being praised as a hero who don't know shit about his past.
Lmfaooo at Isaac just getting read for filth here
Seriously, what the fuck did Colton do to make Isaac hate him this much?
Welp. I would like to not have had that question answered. Fucking christ. Isaac didn't deserve any of that and I'd hate Colton for his part in that abuse too.
We stan a petty king.
Oh damn, I was not expecting that little twist. Damn Colton, you really fucked up my dude.
Ew? Telling someone you absolutely shattered that they came back stronger because of the hell you put them through is fucking gross. Oh, I'd deck a bitch.
Colton, my dude, what the fuck are you doing?
I like Mina and her idea of revenge.
Me thinks the pretty jock doth protest too much.
For real though, YIKES on that arrangement. Isaac is really going for blood here.
Okay, Colton. I see you placing your pieces on the board. Fucking hell, this is going to a disaster for both of these idiots.
When do we start placing bets on Colton developing a praise kink after all of this?
"Blame gay math or something" is the vibe of my fucking life.
I feel like there's a part of Isaac that regrets taking things this far given his consent speech but like, homie, you are also blackmailing this man into letting you fuck him. Make up your mind here.
Yeah, no, I don't care if your dick was in my mouth, I draw the line at sharing a toothbrush lmfao
Isaac can say this is just about sex and control all he wants but I would put money on him still having feelings for Colton.
Colton's parents definitely suck.
Yeah, they're both fucking stupid.
Colton got bit by the feelings bug BAD.
Me reading this scene while Dixon Dallas plays in the back of my head.
Oof on how Colton was outed. Morality clause on top of that? YIKES.
I'm sorry but having a school who's initials spell CLIT was one thing but having the school mascot be a beaver has me fucking CRYING laughing.
Why do I get the feeling that William had something to do with a reporter getting that video of him and Colton that forced Colt to come out of the closet? Isaac is gonna fight a ho over that shit.
Oh yeah, definitely called that shit. Isaac is also NOT subtle because those texts were damn protective. How long before he admits he has feelings for Colton???
There we go, there's Isaac realizing how utterly shitty he was being.
Okay, but the club deciding to go to Colton's game is a really cute idea and probably the most genuine support this boy has ever received in his life.
Have I mentioned how much I fucking love Mina? That girl is BRUTAL with her rage.
Oh yeah, Colton is definitely in love here and Isaac is not great at pretending he's not at least a little in love with Colton in return.
Maaaan, y'all around to get caught with your pants literally down.
Lmfao on Colton earning his brat wings.
Angry stray cat does sum up Isaac's personality pretty well, gotta hand that one to Carlos.
Yeah, y'all need to just accept that y'all are for sure a couple and go public with it.
Oooooh Isaac is jealous jealous. Damn, good luck Colt.
Awwww, I think Isaac really needed that, to know the actual extent Colton had been involved when they were in high school. They definitely needed to have that whole conversation if they have any hope of this progressing into something more serious.
Lmfao jealous Isaac going public because like hell is going to let his mans be auctioned off for charity xD
Colton being so happy to show Isaac off and Isaac being permanently annoyed with it all is honestly funny.
Welp. That explains what Leon was doing fucking around with Colton's bedroom door. I dunno, this all just feels really unnecessary. Like, the book could have ended before this and I don't think Colton should have to endure yet another video scandal.
No, fuck that, take that shit to the fucking cops. They were illegally filmed and then had that film passed around. TAKE THIS TO THE COPS.
Wow, the fact that the baseball coach was more willing to believe Colton than the dean was Isaac says a lot about how people view Isaac.
Ahh, so it Leon's little buddy who lives with Colton and Tim who got Leon access to Colton's bedroom. Fucking figures.
The fawning girls telling Colton he can do so much better than Isaac when they don't know him is annoying.
Aaaand now we have creepy ass William drugging Colton. Are we just gonna hit every bad trope possible here?
Oh. He teamed up with Leon for this. Of fucking course.
Goddamn Colton's mother has no sense of subtlety. Also, why is she really there?
Oh damn, was not expecting Colton's mom to show up swinging not just for Colton but for Isaac. Also good to know she cares about her kid more than she let on but she should have been more supportive from the jump.
It sucks that it took her son damn near being raped for Colton's mom to decide she was done being unsupportive but I'm glad she showed up.
And, again, that would have been a good place to end the fucking book, why is there still more???
Ah. There's the I love you moment.
That book could have ended in like 3 or 4 different spots and I'm glad to be done with it.
I will be the first to admit that this is not my usual genre but it came across my for you page on tiktok and seemed interesting. So, I took a chance on it. I did hesitate at the trigger warnings, I am not a non-con or dub-con fan, so please take that warning to heart.
The story wasn't terrible, the writing was average, the pacing was a little choppy, and there were quite a few points where the story really seemed to drag on. There were a few different spots the book could have ended before the actual ending and some of the directions it went into just seemed very unnecessary.
Isaac and Colton are decent enough characters, but Isaac especially is fairly hypocritical in the start of things with him and Colton. There also just wasn't a strong character development for either one of them (or any of the side characters which was a shame because I liked Mina especially).
If you want an easy read or you enjoy second chance bully romances, you might enjoy this. Unfortunately, it just really was not for me.
**I received an advance copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review**
I will admit that I had extremely high hopes for this book. I love Cemetery Boys and when I found out that Aiden was doing a sequel, I was beyond excited. I could not wait to dive back into this world, to revisit these characters and see how they handled the aftermath of the previous book.
I am pleased to report that Espíritu not only met my expectations but surpassed them brilliantly.
Espíritu picks up shortly after the ending of Cemetery Boys and does not shy away from the emotional aspects that come after facing down such traumatic and life altering events. It's a story about healing, about finding your place, and trusting the people you love to help you get to where you need to be.
As with Cemetery Boys, this is a love letter to culture and tradition while also showing how these things can grow around new ideas, to continue to grow in love and community. It honors both the need for tradition and the need for change while showing the two can exist side by side. It also continues to emphasize that those we lost are never truly gone because that love still remains.
I will forever love the character dynamics in these books, the way they banter and fight and work through things. The fact that they don't give up on each other, even when it would be easier to walk away. At the end of the day, it's about connections, it's about the people we love and who love us back and that nothing, not even death, can erase that love or sever those connections.
Truly a beautifully done book from start to finish and I cannot recommend it enough.
TWs: Spoilers, toxic family dynamics, mentions of child abuse and PTSD
How does one get an invisible familiar? But also, giggling at the fox being named Nick and the fact that Nick likes to bite xD
I love Seb's level of petty lmfao.
Okay, but we love a high maintenance, chaotic moron.
I like Crescentia. She got spunk and attitude.
So, Seb has rage issues and is going to set things on fire. As someone once called the Patron Saint of Arson, I approve of this use of freewill.
Man, Seb is NOT having a good morning.
Seb, you're an asshole and Orok IS going to get you back for that one xD
Oh for fuck's sake, Seb, punch the smug bastard and call it a day.
Pffffft, I cannot imagine this starting off great with Seb being forced to work with his biggest rival in school.
I love that Seb and Orok's moms just popped up like y'all are coming home for the holidays this year.
Oof, poor Seb in all of this. I'm glad Orok tried to stand up for him but woof, ouch on Seb having to deal with his mom being all excited about him working with the person he hates the most.
The arm gouging to self regulate is something I relate to a little too closely. I'mma need these characters to be a little less relateable, damn.
I get the feeling the phrase "Fuck Elethior" is going to come to fruition, just not the way Orok meant...
Okay, but I sincerely love Orok and Seb's friendship with him. Babies. Sweet, precious babies.
Politeness out of petty spite is A Vibe and I am here for it.
Woof these two are nasty to each other.
Awww, good job not murdering each other.
I love when we're all on Team Shitty Fathers/Father Figures.
Oh. Okay. Elethior's cousin is a fucking cunt. Got it.
I do love that Seb is such a snarky pain in the ass that he actually managed to make Elethior laugh. Knowing they both come from shitty ass families makes a lot of damn sense.
Okay, but you cannot tell me that Seb and Orok are not platonic soulmates.
Okay, but like, Seb has a fair point there.
Lmfao at both of them being attracted to each other.
Elethior buying snacks for Nick the fox is so fucking cute omg.
I would have done the same thing. Medical emergencies shouldn't be done alone.
Well. That's ONE way to express gratitude. BUT RUNNING AWAY DOESN'T ERASE THE KISSING, SEB!!!
Orok is the best bestie and I love him so many.
Oh yeah, Seb is so utterly and completely fucked and not entirely in a fun way.
Ooooh they gone fuuuuck xD
Ya know, I feel like Seb would get along fantastically with Coal.
The fact that Elethior heard all of that and his reaction was to boot Seb's dad's magic out and reassure him has me melting. I'm going to guess that the possessive also translates to protective based on that.
Also. Seb's dad is a fucking dick and I stand by my statement that Seb and Coal would get along if they were in the same universe.
WE STAN A CONSENT AND AFTERCARE KING!
I AM WHEEZING OH MY FUCKING GODS, THAT IS THE BEST PRANK I HAVE EVER READ. I fucking lost it at the rock singing Hot To Go because that is some shit I would do to my best friend if I didn't know she would absolutely murder me for it.
Ugh, this friendship is EVERYTHING TO ME.
Fucking hell, Thio, I would have died on the fucking spot in Seb's shoes.
Aaaand we've unlocked Thio's Tragic Backstory and my heart is BROKEN for him. He was just a fucking kid.
This is the worst played game of emotional Jenga ever and I can't even call them both idiots because it's very clear that they need similar kinds of support and don't understand how to verbalize it. STOP MAKING ME SAD!!!
I love Thio protecting Seb from his shitty ass family.
These two got it so bad for each other.
Awww, this routine? Boys, that's called being in a relationship. Especially when Seb is visiting Thio's mom with him weekly.
Good lord these two need to just admit feelings already.
The no fucking in the lab rule lasted a lot longer than I had thought it would.
Oh my gods, just admit that y'all wanna be together and stop burying your heads in the damn sand!
Yeah, no, I totally understand the PTSD and just oof, poor Seb.
Seb, this is a really weird time to ask Thio out on a date but I'm proud of you?
Seriously, Seb and Orok have the best friendship and I love that for both of them.
Orok being the protective best friend and Thio managing to get approval. Ugh, my heart.
Yeah, Seb is so utterly in love but I am not looking forward to unlocking his Tragic Backstory.
Thio being confused by that question hurts my fucking heart, holy hell.
Yeah, I am 100% not ready to know what Seb and Orok went through at that camp. I am at WORK. I cannot being crying at the service desk.
Fucking hell. 14. Seb was 14 when the abuse started. Fucking hell.
Thio's reaction has me all weepy. Seb and Orok did not deserve to go through any of that and I understand why Thio is beyond pissed. This is def that moment where they both realize there are way bigger feelings at hand but probably NOT the time to say I love you. Super glad Seb finally has someone who believes him and Orok though.
Babies. Sweet, sleepy babies.
Seb, Collector of Extroverts.
Thio's mom acknowledging Seb in her own quiet way is gonna make me SOB.
I love that 1. The experiment worked and 2. That Thio was allowed to set up extra safety measures for his own PTSD and anxiety.
I do not like that Seb's parents have just shown the fuck up. This is going to be Bad.
Oh. Oh this hurts a lot. Someone hug Orok too please? Because this trauma is both Seb's and his. They both need love and support right now. I'm so pissed that Seb's dad only believes him now because he got that fucking job and access to the records that PROVE Seb was telling the fucking truth the whole time. Aplogizing now and feeling bad doesn't erase the YEARS OF ABUSE YOU HEAPED ON YOUR FUCKING SON!!!
Thio is breaking apart in ways I kind of expected tbh but it still fucking hurts.
Fucking hell that entire fight fucking HURT and I am going to SOB. SARA, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO THEM????? THIS HURTS MORE THAN COAL AND HEX'S SORT OF BREAK UP. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!
WHY ARE SEB AND OROK MAKING ME CRY FUCKING HARDER???? Orok really does deserve this chance and I am so fucking happy for him and PROUD of him. BUT ALSO I NEED BOOKS TO STOP MAKING ME CRY.
I love that Seb is refusing to let Thio drop out at the last minute. YES SEBBY, FIGHT FO YO MANS!!!!!
Hordon out here being a real hero and we STAN.
Seb telling Thio's mom how the presentation went, oh my fucking HEART.
I do love that Thio is telling Seb to move forward with the lawsuit while Seb is assuring him that they will make sure his mom is taken care of. Babies. Sweet babies. I love them.
OH MY GODS, SEB AND OROK WON THE FUCKING LAWSUIT!!!! AND SEB AND THIO ARE GONNA GET ENGAGED!!! AND THIO WENT INTO NURSING!!! AND GUESS WHO'S FUCKING SOBBING AGAIN!!!!
Oh I LOVE that they had a similar plan but that Seb thought ahead enough to include Nick the invisible fox to make sure he was the one on one knee first xD
4 YEARS?! THIO WAITED FOUR YEARS TO PROPOSE?! MY FUCKING HEART.
It should come as no surprise that I absolutely loved this book given how much I adore Sara's writing in general. That being said, this one probably made me cry a lot more than I expected it to.
Sebastian and Elethior are absolutely fantastic characters and the way they mirror one another, the differences in how they cope with trauma while still learning how to work together is truly phenomenal.
I also really appreciate the way Seb's PTSD and anxiety were written because it's so fucking relatable. It's raw and painful and realistic. And it doesn't stop existing when he falls in love or starts to heal. It's still there, still a factor in his life, and I just genuinely appreciate the sincerity in the way it was written.
I also genuinely loved Orok. His friendship with Seb. Yes, they're trauma bonded but the love they have for one another is so genuine and it really shines. Even in the end, when they're both making choices that take them physically away from one another, they're still just so full of pride and joy for one another.
The amount of love and hope that exists in this book, the way it thrives in spite of the pain and trauma, it's just so damn comforting. But, that's a thing that Sara seems to really excel at with her books and that's why I keep reaching for them. Well written stories with amazing characters and so much love and hope and reassurance that things can be okay, that they will be okay. We are more than our scars and we are not alone.
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