::it's okay to be afraid::

"I can't quit now or else I'll really mess everything up; even if I can't make friends, even if they still ignore me.." M!A: None! Tracking: silencedstripes (Independent Kisa Sohma RP blog. Sidebar pic does not belong to me.)

[my-teen-quote]

[faux-comte]

Hatsuharu swiftly wrapped his arms around the young tiger, lifting her above his vacant gaze. 

"Kisa, it's good to see you." He spoke with a monotonous tone, but warmth could still be felt in his eyes as he cradled the silent child in his arms. 

[silenced-stripes]

—- A crimson red crept upon Kisa's cheeks as she felt her weight being lifted from the floor so effortlessly. Her shock soon turned into sheer joy as she was greeted by the seemingly indifferent Hatsuharu.

 "Haru!" She beamed, briefly nestling her head on his shoulder. "It's good to see you too. It's been a while!" The tiger remarked. When she was with the older boy, it was as if the social anxiety weighing her body down quickly evaporated. Hatsuharu was one of the very few people who she was completely and utterly comfortable around, causing his presence to be something she always enjoyed.

[armored-princess]

Tohka giggled slightly, amused with the little girl’s surprised look when she suggested a game. At Kisa’s question, Tohka stopped to think a bit. “Hm… what about hide and seek?” she asked, a friendly smile on her face. Then, she blushed slightly, a bit ashamed of her excitement. “Unless you want another one, of course…” she said with a nervous giggle.

[silenced-stripes]

—- Kisa nodded at her suggestion. It was rare for her to play such childish games with anyone, much less anyone as cool as her new acquaintance. Hiro would agree to play if she asked, but she knew very well that he'd have difficulty enjoying it as much as she would. "No! I.. really like hide n' seek! Do you think I can hide first?" She piped, words recited at a quicker pace than usual.

[hirotheram-deactivated20131106]

It's silenced-stripes.

[hirotheram-deactivated20131106]

As her faced reddened, his followed. He really hadn’t meant to imply anything, but then… maybe he did. “Y-yeah, sounds good. She really likes you.” As he looked at the girl he realized that he really missed Kisa. Not seeing her made him more depressed than usual, so without thinking he said, “Maybe we could watch movies at my house? Are you busy.” He blushed a little more. Somehow, unconsciously, he was been way more assertive than usual.

[silenced-stripes]

—-  Petite, porcelain fingertips reached out to connect with his. Once Kisa got a loose grasp on his hands, her expression softened. It was rather selfish of her to touch Hiro so casually just because she wanted to. The move was bold for someone like her, yet being close to the boy felt so.. right. Everything came naturally when she was with Hiro; she never felt pressured to act a certain way. Although there were times when she felt quite nervous around him, Kisa assume that it was merely due to the fact that she occasionally felt like her presence was nothing more than a burden to him.

"I'm not busy, Hiro-chan. Watching a movie together sounds like fun."

[silenced-stripes]

//

I see Furuba RPers on my Haruhi account and it's making me sad and missing Kisa so I'm coming back on here hello hey 

[silenced-stripes]

—- "Cleanup duty and tons of homework.. this really isn't one of my best days."

[theselfishsaint]

It's my turn to be ｂｒａｖｅ.

{♥} It was a week, and a week precisely, till the dreaded time of year where Kyoko’s grave would bear another bouquet and another round of mourners. Of course, she had no right to feel this way. That was how Tohru saw it, in that utterly twisted and self loathing center of blame she carried. Selfless as she was, to feel lonely— or, more akin to sharing it— would be the ultimate form of burdening others. After all, she had the love and kindness of those around her— what more could she possibly want? To ask for more than that was to be horrible.

But it hurt. Carrying around the burden of inner pain and utter loneliness was completely detrimental to anyone, though the smile so well known to those who knew the name Honda Tohru was still in place. It shone, so foolishly, for anyone who was willing to look, and even those who put no more energy than a mere glance into it. Cheer still remained in her tone, a mastermind disguise to the fact that she was falling apart at the seams.

But … she was the only living soul within the Sohma house at the moment. Wasn’t she? Would there be anyone, excluding the riceball herself, to judge the sadness rising in her core? It was far too late to take precautionary actions regardless, as the first of her tears rolled down porcelain flesh. Pulling both dishpan hands from the sink, letting the dish that hadn’t been washed fully drop with a loud clink, she simply cried. Salty tears continued to mar her delicate beauty, turning her milky complexion a flushed, crimson hue and riming her eyes in a similar manner. And still, the smile persisted. It was an act of defiance, no doubt, as no sane girl could simply grin and bear such an intense pain as she felt then and there. An act of defiance against the selfishness she’d never allowed herself, not since she’d taken back Kyoko and not since she’d let herself live past the very same woman.

“M-mother—!" Her words were choked, a miracle in the way they could escape such a raw throat and such a clenched jaw. The smile had fallen, just as her guard, in a matter of seconds. No longer did her soft lips present a pleasant look about their owner, but were now sucked under her top row of teeth. No blood would come, Tohru would see to that. Blood might lead to unanswerable questions, things she wouldn’t want to admit but would be picked up on regardless. Kyo had gained too much experience with her true feelings and picking up on hidden sadness, after all. He’d be the hardest to fool, if she could manage the feat at all. 

I … I want to see her. I want to see my mom! Quickly turning on her heel, sobs still racking her frame with shudders and sniffling breaths, Tohru ran for her room. Finding a picture of Kyoko wouldn’t be hard at all, as she was all around the daughter that had been left behind. She lurked in her wallet and on her dresser, on her desk and in her mind. Indeed, she would have had no trouble in finding her beloved mother’s likeness had it not been for a decisive creak and the sound of footsteps within the house. The floor boards screamed under the stranger’s weight, sending chills down her spine and widening the doll like eyes raw from her sobs.

Contrary to most, it wasn’t the presence of someone unknown in the house that scared her so much. Not at all. It was simply the obvious fact that she’d be seen in such a state. Such a pathetic and loathsome appearance and mood. Quickly forcing a haphazard smile upon her face, Tohru wiped the worst of her melt down away on the thickly knit fabric of her sweater and moved to meet the visitor.

The tiger. It was impossible to cover the shock that morphed her elfin features, as seeing a member of the Zodiac was the last thing she had wanted with her feelings so blatant and her voice so shaky. Quickly correcting her expression, hoping she could shrug off the first impression of the day, the sore, petal lips parted to greet the younger girl. “Kisa-chan, ohayou gozaimasu! it’s so wonderful to see you! I really missed you, it’s been too long!" Please don’t be scared, please don’t think of me this way. I didn’t mean for anyone to see me, you have to believe me.

[silenced-stripes]

—- Sunday mornings were always so.. pleasant. The crisp air rang with the sound of rising nature, while the pedestrians on the street had just a bit more pep in their step. Though, Kisa's judgement on this 'perfect' Sunday might have been a bit biased. Whenever she knew that her day would consist of visiting Tohru, the sun seemed to shine a little brighter, and the birds seemed to sing a little louder. There was really nothing in particular the child had in mind, but the older sister that she held so dearly in her heart always found various ways for them to bond.

 Making a quick adjustment to the hair bows gripping onto her auburn strands, Kisa was out the door before her mother could form a proper farewell. She always tried her best to subdue the excitement coursing through her veins during that walk to Shigure-jiichan's house; the fact that she felt so thrilled over something as simple as that was an embarrassment within itself. The girl especially tried to keep calm when Hiro was there to accompany her. She has learned to keep her talk about Tohru at a minimum when he was around, knowing very well that the topic caused him nothing but irritation. Kisa's mother claimed that his anger was nothing more than envy, but that sounded a bit far-fetched to her.

 Kisa had been so entwined in her personal thoughts, she had no realized that her legs involuntarily brought her to the destination she desired. Reaching the door, she realized that the house was dead silent. Hmm.. Kyo must not be around then. It was rare for any type of serenity to be present when Kyo occupied a room. He had a habit of raising his voice, even when it wasn't necessarily needed. Kisa saw this as a good thing. She definitely felt no animosity whatsoever towards the cat, but he was awfully intimidating to her. It just lessened the pressure of having to greet everyone.

 With two light knocks on the door, she waited patiently for someone to answer. Nothing. She offered yet another knock before becoming significantly skeptical. The door at Tohru's residence lacked a proper lock, but she assumed that it was only polite to knock anyways. With no answer after the second time, she hesitantly opened the doors a bit wider. "I'm coming in" Kisa announced lowly, leaving her shoes in the spot next to Tohru's. She was not greeted with a warm welcome by her older sister as usual. No, the only noise that could be heard was something that had been completely foreign to her ears up until now. It sounded like muffled crying, but that wasn't possible. Tohru never cried.. right?

 Her first instinct was to run upstairs and ask if she was hurt. That was the only logical explanation for these pained sobs. Yes, she had to be in some sort of physical pain. Kisa continued on to Tohru's bedroom, doing her best to stay silent. It was this silence that killed her though. The silence that was only filled by these heartbreaking whimpers.. it was this silence that made her realize that the pain Tohru had was something that could not be fixed with a bandaid. Kisa did not know why she was crying.. but the fact that something inside was hurting her enough to break down like this was enough for the tiger cub to join Tohru in unison. She held in the tears that were battling to escape the rims of her eyes though.

 Kisa inched closer, cringing at the sound of the squeaky floorboard that immediately caught Tohru's attention. The forced smile on her lips hurt just as much as the audible tears. "Onee-chan.." She stared in shock, trying to form the right words to say in her brain. Kisa would not cry. She'd be the strong one this time. The only thing she could think of to do was wrap two frail arms around Tohru's petite frame and bury herself in the fabric of her clothing. Whenever Kisa was upset over something, the person trying to comfort her always did the same. They hugged her, and surprisingly enough, it gave Kisa a sense of security. "Please don't cry, onee-chan.." She muttered. "Whatever is making you sad will get better soon, so please don't cry.. if it's something that I can try to fix I'll do it!" Her voice began to crack. "If you tell me what's wrong I'll fix it!" Panic spewed from each word she spoke.

 Is this how Tohru felt when others were in need of her guidance? Of course not. Tohru was Tohru, and Kisa was Kisa. They differed greatly in that aspect. While her 'onee-chan' always found the right words to say, Kisa was left feeling helpless as she clung to the brunette, hopelessly wishing that her tight grasp would somehow squeeze every last bit of sadness out of her.

[silenced-stripes]

a glimpse || future AU || @tohruu

—- It was only a matter of time before the moment arrived. With Tohru residing a long distance away from home, it was rare for her to visit with Kyo. When those moments came though, they were truly Kisa's happiest times. She rushed around her home in a frenzy, straightening every lose painting and picking up the tiniest of lint balls spotted on the floor. Everything had to be perfect.. absolutely and utterly perfect. "Relax, Kisa" Her mother sighed as she reached for her coat hanging on a single hook, slight amusement filling her tone, "I'm sure Tohru won't mind at all if there's dust on our bookshelf". At her mother's words, Kisa's eyes widened. "You saw dust?! I cleaned the bookshelf twice!" She exclaimed, preparing to sprint for the duster. "The bookshelf's fine. Everything looks great. I assume you already prepared a room for her, so I'll be living for a bit." The young girl's mom stated before giving her daughter's head a quick pat before leaving.

 The house would be empty until Tohru arrived. Very soon, Tohru Honda would be standing in her home. They'd talk, laugh, and overall enjoy each other's company.. just like old times. Kisa was nervous, to say the least. She had changed over the past couple years. Not just with physical appearance, but her ability to communicate with others seemed to be improving as time passed too. She was outgoing, and the students at school no longer teased her. Kisa was genuinely happy with her life now, and she could not wait to tell Tohru all about it. There was also the fact that she was dying to hear about the changes in Tohru's life too. On top of caring for Kyo, there must have been other things her sister spent her time doing. Kisa wanted to know everything; from the biggest changes in her life to the tiny, boring details. She craved this knowledge in hopes that it would fill the void of lost time.

Knock. Knock.

 Kisa ran to open the door, not bothering to look through the peephole. She knew exactly who was waiting on the other side of the barrier. Before doing so, she halfheartedly straightened out the creases of her high school uniform skirt. Then, with a turn of the knob, Kisa could no longer contain the sudden burst of emotions that had been welling up inside her ever since the day Tohru called to inform her that she would be able to visit. Amber eyes filled to the brim with tears, she was able to choke out a few syllables. "Onee-chan!"

[armored-princess]

"I’m Yatogami Tohka. Nice to meet you, Kisa-chan!" she said happily. She slightly tilted her head and looked curiously at Kisa. She noticed that she was shy, and her delicate and different (in a beautiful way) appearance called Tohka’s attention. "She’s so kawaii!" she thought. As she heard what the little girl said, her expression turned into a curious one. "Oh, you’re alone?" she asked, and suddenly smiled brightly again, an idea popping in her mind. "You wanna play with me?" she asked.

[silenced-stripes]

—- "It's nice to meet you too, Yatogami-san." She bowed politely. Eyes widening in disbelief, Tohka's offer took the child by surprise. "Y-you.. want to play.. with me?" Kisa asked, hoping the words she heard were not a surreal fantasy created in her mind. Someone as cool as this mysterious stranger actually wanted to play with her.. her! The stuttering, scared little girl who could not even confidently introduce herself; the girl who was ridiculed and eventually shunned by all her classmates; the one who used to accept loneliness as if it were an old friend. "Y-yes! I'd like to play with you!" Kisa shot up from the bench. "What would you like to play?" She questioned timidly.

[destructivism-deactivated202101]

I MADE AN INHUMAN NOISE

SEND HELP PLS

[silenced-stripes]

MACHO KURAGI SMASH

[destructivism-deactivated202101]

Macho Kuragi.

[silenced-stripes]

did someone say MACHO KURAGI?!

[silenced-stripes]

destructive-imperfection said: //I’d love to RP with you! I’m trying to make Machi and Tohru more active again ^.^

// yes yes this makes me more than happy. I actually had a future AU idea pertaining to Kisa and Tohru's relationships and I've been wanting to RP it for 1000 years and I can message you on Skype about it if you wanna hear it??

[silenced-stripes]

// I've been home sick these past couple days. So I'll probably be on Kisa's account most of the day while I reread parts of the manga to take a few screencaps for my Kisa folder. With that being said, I would love to RP with people and build relationships in order to become more active on Kisa. So, I'm willing to make a starter post for anyone that would like to RP with me ^^

[silenced-stripes]

"Hi, Kisa. Tohru asked me to ask you how you are doing in case I saw you."

—- "Oh.. hi Yuki-kun!" She offered a weak smile. "Onee-chan? I-.. I haven't seen her in a while. I haven't been over your house much lately.." Kisa mused. She had been doing her best to not act so reliant on Tohru's company, but being away from her for long periods of time had caused the tiger feeling somewhat empty.

[hirotheram-deactivated20131106]

It's silenced-stripes.

[hirotheram-deactivated20131106]

"Avoid you? No! Of course not," then as he realized the implications of what he just said he blushed a bit. "I have just been busy helping Momma with the baby. If I don’t go to the store, she will forget everything. If I forget to take out the trash, the diapers start to smell." His eyes were gazing off by the end of his monologue. For a second he stayed that way, then he refocused on Kisa, "Maybe we could start going to school together?"

[silenced-stripes]

—- "I understand. I should visit more often, then. You and your mother must have your hands full. I would like to help out in any way I can, if that's alright with you." Kisa offered her assistance. She had been planning on visiting Hiro's mother and the new baby for quite some time now, and she would be more than happy to lend a hand. In reaction to Hiro's suggestion, the young girl's face turned a shade pinker. "R-really?" She asked, eyes staring into his eagerly. "Yes! I would like that, actually. If you want.. we could hang out after school too if you're not busy with Hinata-chan."

[armored-princess]

Tohka was so lost in thoughts (probably daydreaming) that she didn’t notice the little girl approaching of her. Only when she spoke with her, - in a soft and quiet voice - that Tohka remembered that she was sat on the bench of the park, in front of a playground, probably staring at the children playing there. The spirit blinked twice, as if she was waking up from a dream, and looked at the girl in front of her.

"O-Oh… Yeah, it is!" she answered happily, agreeing with her comment, smiling friendly at the auburn haired young lady. "That’s why I decided to came here today!"

[silenced-stripes]

—- As the girl next to her spoke, Kisa couldn't help but become even more speechless than she already was. Her cheery tone matched her lovely appearance, wisps of dark purple hair bouncing ever so slightly with each word she spoke. If the two were the same age, it was safe to assume she'd be the type of girl to receive admirers left and right; the type of girl that Kisa would be terrified to share the same hallway with. "I- I like to come here too whenever I get the chance.. even if I'm alone.." She mused. "No one's ever really sad here..". The tiger shifted her weight uncomfortable. "Oh! I haven't even introduced myself. G-gomenasai! I'm Sohma Kisa.."

[zettaidaijoubuudayo-deactivated]

Now peering into the sepia orbs of a female around her age, Sakura couldn’t help herself but to squeal out in adoration, cupping her face firmly with petite hands.”Uwahhh~” She mused contently, “Kisa-chan desu? What a pretty name!”

It was quite clear to the cardcaptor that this female, adorned with such lovely golden locks, was rather shy - at least, that’s what she had gathered from her timid introduction. And so, complying with the others comfort level, the brunette lowered her voice a touch and smiled in a friendly manner towards the other. “It’s nice to meet you, Kisa-chan. Are you new here in Tomoeda?”

[silenced-stripes]

—- Kisa flinched at the sudden squeal elicited from the stranger, not expecting such a bold reaction from a complete stranger. "A-Arigatou gozaimasu. Yours is very nice to, Kinomoto-san" She assured, forming a polite grin on her lips.

She shook her head, auburn strands moving to the same rhythm. "I'm just.. passing by.." Hands held behind her back, Kisa's eyes stared intently at the ground below her feet.