¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i used to think i had an idea of what to put in these bio descriptions

[thatevakid]

[killtheteendream]

this wasn’t even a joke it was a straight-up confession omg

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

[crissle]

i… had no idea martha could drag.

[onlyblackgirl]

[jeniphyer]

I remember that movie! It was on lifetime lol

[rikohermoso-deactivated20181227]

I watched the movie I’m here for the real life aftermath

[spongehole]

Here’s how Myspace can still win

[silenceisgolden94]

No but really my inbox is open for those nudes before we all jump ship

[mochabeesnuts]

ok before tumblr crash and burns into kiddyland hell i just have one thing left to say….

[turing-tested]

this close to putting hot sauce on my toes

[turing-tested]

i. forgot to give context for this

[pir8core]

what context could you possibly give that would make this any better

[turing-tested]

my cats biscuit and gravy are aggressive toe biters and they will stop at nothing to attain the experience of feet in their mouth

[tentacledix]

i can’t wait to still be followed by 38493790243 porn bots after december 17th because tumblr has never competently implemented anything before

[dottiep]

[3dbabyfromallymcbeal]

me: :)

target self checkout security camera: you look like this

me: :(

[feministism]

[bahrains]

it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”

[bob-belcher]

MOOD

[hogwartsconsultingtimelady]

I think I’m using this right

[warmhappycat]

He didn’t even get dumped.  She didn’t have romantic feelings for him but was trying so hard to be his friend and he was just whiny baby about it.

[magicalwayswins-deactivated2018]

“he was just a whiny baby about it” can you quote the text and prove your point please ? :) @warmhappycat

[warmhappycat]

Sure thing!

Hope this helps!

[megacharizardxxx]

[sufficientlylargen]

Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

[tommyeatseaton-blog]

okay but what’s updog ?

[jaiwithanadult]

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

[yumantimatter]

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

[defectivealtruist]

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

[ghostpalmtechnique]

No, that’s uptalk.  You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

[argumate]

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

[regexkind]

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

[another-normal-anomaly]

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

[yieldsfalsehoodwhenquined]

no that’s an updraft

updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them

[identicaltomyself]

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

[speakertoyesterday]

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

[mistbornthefinal]

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

[yumantimatter]

What’s a henway?

[eversolewd-deactivated20250517]

Oh, about 5 pounds.

[garbage-empress]

*pops my throat open and starts shooting out my vertebrae like a pez dispenser*

[iameverysparklywoman]

me whenever i pee: wow! just like in an indie movie…