thanks I hate it
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YOU DO NOT HAVE A FRIEND IN HORSE
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@silentaffirmation
thanks I hate it
You Got a Friend In Horse
YOU DO NOT HAVE A FRIEND IN HORSE
Showing up is enough ✨.
odyssey dashboard simulator
🚣♂️ captain.odysseus
between two choices here…
scylla
charbydis
to be so honest neither are looking great but sometimes u gotta make tough decisions. nobody tell my crew about this btw
65 notes
⬜ crewmate-238-deactivated12109
the sirens are dangerous to YOU. i understand them though. we are holding hands and singing and they're not even eating me
🧜♀️ siren.girl.40 Follow
no we’re not
⚔️ 0restes
OP being deactivated really adds something here
🎵 demodocus.sings.a.lot Follow
the sirens killed him
🐅 circe.without.mercy
62,234 notes
🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka
just fucked up so bad i met queen helen from sparta and called her "helen of troy" in front of her husband who literally spent ten years fighting a war to get her back FROM TROY. about to throw myself into the sea
💅 face.that.launched.1000.ships Follow
omg no worries babygirl come back anytime :))) happens to everyone
🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka
was no one going to tell me helen of troy had a tumblr
🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka
FUCK i did it again
56,329 notes
⬜ crewmate-24-deactivated9823
for real though has anyone seen elpenor
#i could have sworn he was with us when we were at circes??
4 notes
⬜ crewmate-438-deactivated5764
dreaming of burger made of helios' cattle rn. mmm
⛰️ oracle-at-delphi Follow
it is actually insane that people are reblogging this. do you know how disrespectful this is to helios and to all of the gods?? those are literally sacred cattle, i shouldn't be seeing odysseus' crew blogging about how they want to make them into burgers. it's not funny and it's not a joke.
⬜ crewmate-438-deactivated5764
#it was gonna be such a perfect day for a bbq but its stormy all the sudden #:( #oh well i guess we will just eat our burgers inside
20,572 notes
🐗 antinous420
how long could it possibly take to weave a fucking shroud
📷 ithaca-fact-checker Follow
fun fact! it can actually take 1,543 years to weave a burial shroud for one’s father in law, depending on the materials, style, and craftsman!
🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka
ayyy ithaca fact checker i missed you
🐗 antinous420
who the hell is running this account
#that has to be a joke right #otherwise that would mean that like only an immortal could weave these #ik athena is goddess of weaving but she cant be the only one doing it #right???
322 notes
🏐 what.up.its.nausica
not the random naked man i found on my shore who i almost got betrothed to being odysseus king of ithaca are you KIDDING me
🏄 pisistratus-son-of-nestor
i thought he was dead???
🚣♂️ captain.odysseus
im not
🏄 pisistratus-son-of-nestor
@ telemakhos.of.ithaca @ queen-penelope-official HELLO???
23,753 notes
🐅 circe.without.mercy
actually disgusting that people are still following @/calyps0 when she literally kept odysseus captive on her island for seven years. yes odysseus is incredibly problematic and he should be held accountable for actions. yes i dont support what he did to polyphemus and i will block anyone who said that was deserved. but he literally has a wife and son he needs to get back to and it's disgusting that she tried to impede him like this
🏖️ calyps0 Follow
hey what was going on when he stayed at your place for a year
🏖️ calyps0 Follow
lmfao she blocked me
#girl this situation is messyyyy
16,422 notes
🦉 goddess-of-wisdom
why is everyone so mad at odysseus. he’s just a silly little guy. my silly little mortal. he does tricks. free him
🔱 earthshaker Follow
he blinded my son
🦉 goddess-of-wisdom
ok??? have you considered that maybe your son was being a little bitch
45,890 notes
🚣♂️ captain.odysseus
lmfaoooo ive been sending anon hate to polyphemus and he still doesn’t know it was me, odysseus, son of laertes sacker of cities king of ithaca who lives at ithaca palace and is currently sailing home on the aegean sea. click the read more to track my voyage home
Read more
#what are you gonna do about it big guy #nobody cares
5,738 notes
👁️pol.y.phe.mus Follow
when i find whoever it is that is sending me these you are going to be so sorry
3 notes
👑 queen-penelope-official
like this post if you want to be included in the archery contest tomorrow!
#may the best shot win!
108 likes
🍽️ suitor-37
anyone noticed the quality of penelope’s wines at ithaca palace has kind of sucked lately
🕶️ ordinary.beggar.dont.worry Follow
i have a strong feeling that you won’t have to worry about this for much longer :)
17 notes
This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN
Reblogging for cultural enrichment
bout time I brought back the Laurel and Hardy flex tape-
From The Killers, 1946. A Film Noir Classic
I’m an archivist, behold my growing collection was of old photos mirroring timeless memes I’ve come across at various places I’ve worked.
My father always told me: "If you want to go for a run, go for a run, don't look for company. Sooner or later, on your fifth run or your twentieth, like-minded people will find you themselves." And only recently have I realized that this principle works everywhere.
You've had disappointments because you've been brave enough to have hopes. You've got scars because you're a foundational part of a big, wild world that leaves nothing unchanged. Keep going.
(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)
Ordinarily I go to the woods alone, with not a single friend, for they are all smilers and talkers and therefore unsuitable.
I don’t really want to be witnessed talking to the catbirds or hugging the old black oak tree. I have my ways of praying, as you no doubt have yours.
Besides, when I am alone I can become invisible. I can sit on the top of a dune as motionless as an uprise of weeds, until the foxes run by unconcerned. I can hear the almost unhearable sound of the roses singing.
If you have ever gone to the woods with me, I must love you very much.
~ 'How I Go Into the Woods’, by Mary Oliver
mutuals to sit under this thing with
Just vaccinated three kids and got kicked thank GOD I am selling them today
Edit:
THIS IS A POST ABOUT GOATS!!
ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs
after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?
i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out
So I'm rereading Jane Eyre for the first time in like 20 years and
Guys
The magnificent saucebox that is 10-year-old Jane
"he accused me of breaking his nose. to be fair, I had in fact punched him in the nose"
And also
"Hell is where you go when you die if you were bad. How will you avoid going to hell?
"not die"
ICON
Happy Pride Month!!! 🌈💕🌼✨
Quick question are we sure bombing the moon for science is a great idea