silverbluedust

WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET.

[kingdomreigns]

[silverbluedust]

Let me get over this feeling, Lord. Now I know daw di gid man pwede, sige I will trust you. Nasakitan ko, but let me get through this…

[minimalistquotes]

When things really hurt you, they make you quiet.

[silverbluedust]

Tani if ever….before I go, maka apologize man ko simo. If indi mag una ang kahadlok ko simo. I have no other intentions other than asking for forgiveness sa mga ka immaturan ko.

Grabe nagid ang series of sermons nabatian ko about not apologizing or dapat as Christians we need to be at peace with everyone we know nga nakasala kita, and it keeps making me sad and guilty. I know nahadlok ko, pero the guilt is stronger than kahuluya nga nabatyagan ko.

It’s been a long time and I understand if you will not accept. Okay ra, what I want is just to say sorry that’s all.

PS: Asta subong torned between doing it or not gyapon. Haaaays kulbaan ko.

[silverbluedust]

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[silverbluedust]

The same heart that softens for everyone feels miles away from mine.

Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy for you, you get along with people around you and you now smile a little often.

I am just happy that you start getting along with them.

I know, you will never, probably ever talk to me again, it hurts not a little but, probably a lifetime, but that’s okay. Hehehe happy ko for you and where you are now and in the next few years. Sooo proud of you and what you can do, it’s always magic. Haaaaay. I will definitely miss every single thing. You know, I don’t wanna go, but I think this might be the very best choice for me, my growth and probably a new journey for me.

One is, maybe just maybe, I will get married na this year? Hahaha kidding, maybe next year? Ma explore na ko, gaka hurt malang ko diri pirmi sa SC, di kaman diba? Hahahaha again, kidding.

Marriage, maybe relationships, or whatever, I know they’re not your thing, thanks for letting me know through your closest friends and colleagues. Don’t worry, I will never push myself to you, you know how much I respect and love you that I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in many ways.

…and since God planted this seed in my heart, have my own family or maybe kids, then I will let my heart heal and will make a move to prepare for this desire. Happy ko to know that you’re happy being like that, ako bi gusto ko mag family.

I know, in time, I will also be happy, and I wanted to make sure I give my all to that one person I will be spending lifetime with even if it’s not you.

Di ko sure, I really wanted to say goodbye and sorry to you before I go, pero nahadlok ko still and I don’t have the courage until now to approach you first. Siguro indi na? Okay nalang mani nuh? Closure nato guro ang indi kana willing to talk to me. Syempre, diba? That’s one of the things I like about you and your personality, when you decide on things, you really do it. Isang salita kalang, and that’s better. That’s why I always understand that you will never ever speak to me again. Annoying ko nuh? That’s valid man ah. You don’t like people who likes you, that’s what they say and swerte ko gid daw amo na ignored ko. Again, okay lang ah.

Pero if gaan ko ni Lord chance to speak to you, I will willingly say sorry for everything. For liking you, first of all, never my intention but, it just happened. I never thought that that simple admiration will end up liking and loving you so much—I stayed and didn’t like anyone else. Probably it’s just painful because I will jump puddles for you…or take the bullet…pero okay lang. It’s definitely confessing how I felt for you pero at least everything will go off my chest and give me a fresh start. Di ko maglagas ha, gusto ko lang magsorry sa tanan nga immaturity sang 20s ko.

Grabe…maka proud man ayhan if I say, that for a decade I only loved you and no one else? Grabeeee lang, I can’t imagine myself loving another man but, the Lord will sustain and be with me.

Salamat sa life mo Sir, you are one of a kind, you made me experience love, hate, acceptance, and rejection all at once but, yeah….this is life.

I love you and will always be proud of you.

[silverbluedust]

Hibi. Amo ra man ni mahimo ta.

[silverbluedust]

Grabe…way ko katulog gab-e sa paminsar lang simo! Pero okay lang..few more days nalang man di kana nakon maayo makita.

[silverbluedust]

[silverbluedust]

UBRAAAA NAMAN KO HIBI. Haaaays tama naplease, we can’t cry over things nga not for us.

[silverbluedust]

Basta gani indi halin kay Lord, kasakit! Heal me Lord!

[silverbluedust]

Grabe hibi ko subong…kasakit mani man pero amo ni dapat ubrahon ko.

Mahidlaw ko simo, pangitaon kagid sang heart ko, I will no longer see you everyday…pero this is the right to do. I’ll get over this, pili-on ko akon future this time.

[silverbluedust]

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I wanted to fight for what I feel for you and yet I end up realizing you never “liked” me the way I “love” you.

Can you even see the distance between liked and love? A vast one. I can’t even be liked by you and yet my heart longs you to love me, what a dream it is.

Now that I am leaving, I hope I will carry that one-sided love that made me who I am today—strong, independent, and someone who knows her worth and love she deserves.

You see? Even in rejections and one-sided stories, there is beauty and that I think is still good.

I love you, remember that always, has been, and will do as long as I can. 🫠

Asta kon san-o nga di pa ko papamanahon ni Lord, you will always be in my heart. Miski sakit.

[silverbluedust]

Tapos na ang resignation letter ko…i-print and i-pass nalang kulang. 🫠🥺😭

[silverbluedust]

Miski sa damgo ko indi gid ya ako gusto mo nuh? Hays, sige lang ah. Hahahahaha kagwapa sang upod mo. Nano man taya kay daw ano man chura ko. Hahahahahahahaha grabe man damgo ko ba.

[icaseybaybee]

[silverbluedust]

Crying..because in a matter of months I will be leaving for real. I will never see you again that often.

[silverbluedust]

I will miss everything. I know that, of course.

My last few months were painful. Some days, I was disrespected, bullied, and belittled. Despite everything, I will still miss it.

You—you will also be missed. But every time I remember how I was misinterpreted by you, I feel like I wouldn’t and never would want to come back. Of course, you never really knew me deeply. Maybe I was too expectant of you. Maybe I portrayed a character you’re not.

Perhaps my memories of you are already distorted. I can’t seem to remember the happy moments anymore. What stays with me are the days you misunderstood me—maybe even judged me.

But yes, things happen. Maybe memories fade.

I will miss you. But every time I remember… I just want to run.