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we're not kids anymore.
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@silverose23
Sometimes I say self loathing things to my therapist and he looks at me dead in the eyes before saying “You fucking moron.” and tbh same
Me: I think I don’t exist.
Therapist: Listen, you do exist, and if you didn’t, someone would have to create you because the world would be a much sadder place.
Me: Jerome, how dare you saying something so sweet when I’m dissociating.
Me: Honestly, (thing that is totally fucked up for any ‘sane’ person) is normal, right?
Therapist: No.
Me: Wow.
Therapist: You’re just a fucked up bitch.
Me: I do agree with the fucked up bitch part.
Therapist: That’s a start!
Me: I guess he’s still my friend?
Therapist: Considering what you told me and how much you wanna beat him to death, he’s not. You pretty much hate him despite knowing him for years.
Me:
Me: Why did I need to come here to realize that.
Therapist: Because that’s my job to help you to understand some stuff. Also because you’re way too kind and you would let someone punch you in the guts and still consider them as your friend while they stab you.
Me: I don’t need that kind of call out, Jerome.
Me: Hey, I brought you coffee. And croissants too, but I ate them. *puts Starbucks coffee in front of him*
Therapist: Oh that’s nice!!... Oh my name is on it!!
Me: Yeah!!
Therapist: It’s wholesome but... *very confused and silently*... How do I drink it?
Me, not being able to come to my appointment and having to call him: I’m sorry, it’s all my fault, I’m so so so sorr-
Therapist: I dare you to say sorry one more time. I dare you.
Therapist: Hey I wanna show you this super funny image I found the other day.
Me: What-
Therapist: *turns his screen and show me THIS*
Me:
Me: Jerome.
Therapist: You went to the gaypride?
Me: Yeah, I went.
Therapist: Was it something you enjoyed?
Me: Mh. Yeah. Sorta.
Therapist: Did you see some bears?
Me:
Me: Jerome wh-
Therapist: That’s the only term I know outside of the LGTB one, I wanted to use it.
Therapist: Are you sure you’re not becoming roommate with (name) because of pity? Kinda sacrificing yourself?
Me: No, I want it!!
Therapist: Finally, you’re not forcing yourself for the others! And you’re doing something you want! I’m proud of you!
Me: You’re more of a dad than my own father.
Therapist: That’s not very hard.
Me: I always wondered, are you queer?
Therapist: I am not.
Me: Ooh.
Therapist: Or am I?
Me: Ooh!
As an update, Jerome gave my appointment to someone’s else today so we were both in the waiting room, confused and he walked in, patted my head and said sorry but honestly it was hilarious.
The secretary came to tell me that Jerome actually forgot to write me down on the appointment list.
This is a 100% normal situation with Jerome as my Therapist.
As an addition, more than half of my friends want Jerome to adopt me and refer to him as “Therapist dad”.
He’s aware of it and think it’s hilarious.
Me, after complaining for the 25 times about my birth father: Idk if you noticed, but I’m full of anger against him.
Therapist: Oh, really, I never noticed. You know, you should turn that anger into indifference. It would help you.
Me: Unholy gods, I wish it was me.
Therapist: You know, people will still love you even if you don’t offer them things all the time. You don’t have to do that.
Me: What??
Therapist: Why don’t you send a mail to your psychiatrist when you have a bad mood swing?
Me: Like what? ‘Hey Joël wassup, I’ve been very suicidal lately last night I wanted to die. Hope you have rad vacations and the weed is good save some good kush for me, kissy kissy.’ ?
Therapist: Exactly.
Me: You’re as bad as me with human interactions Jerome, y’know.
Me, heavily dissociating: I don’t exist-
Therapist: Can I touch you to prove you that you do?
Me: Dinner first.
Therapist:
Therapist: Damien, you moron.
Therapist: You need vacations.
Me: I’m broke.
Therapist: Oh yeah.
Therapist: You still need vacations tho.
Me: Jerome, I am still broke.
Me, by text: Hey, you just walk by me!
Therapist, by text: Oh sorry. I didn’t see you.
Therapist, by text: Wait. Were you at the tattoo shop?
Me, by text, totally at the tattoo shop: You have no proof.
For a bit of context here: Around two months ago I went to a friend’s who happened the live on the same street as Jerome, which I didn’t know. He was really surprised to see me and came to check on me, asking me why I was here with a bit of concern on his voice. And this take place earlier this month:
Therapist: So your friend lives in the same street than I?
Me: Yes. Town’s short I guess.
Therapist: Were you really going to your friend...?
Me: Yes?? Why else would I be here?
Therapist: A lot of drug deals happen in this street and I see often teenagers and young adults coming and buy stuffs. I was a bit worried for you.
Me, at 2pm: I’m sorry I’m going to be late!
Therapist: Your appointment was this morning at 11:30am, Damien.
Me:
Me: What.
Jerome is still not aware of his fame and idk how to announce him.
Therapist; What’s up with you and wanting domestic rats.
Me: I’m gonna get a rat and call him Jerome just to piss you off.
Therapist:
Therapist: How dare you.
Therapist: Weed doesn’t do much on me and I must admit I’m kinda disappointed.
Me:
Therapist: Do you smoke?
Me: Jerome.
On hard days I wonder how Jerome is doing
He’s doing fine, last time he shown me his fav pic of a red panda which is this one
I FOUND IT I FOUND IT I FUCKING FOUND IT AAAAAAAH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME FEEL
It’s really amazing how happy people get when they find this post omg
Always reblog Jerome.
Is he now aware of his fame?
After months, he is, and he just told me “Haha, this is funny. I’m happy it’s helping people!”
I think he doesn’t realize that he’s known *worldwide*
Jerome is adorable and I hope he knows this.
Hi! List 5 things that make you happy, then send this to the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers.
Nature ^^
Cartoons! Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, The Owl House, Amphibia, She-Ra, Infinity Train, etc!
My friends and family uwu
Food :)
Art!!!
@un-ree-me @greenbandit45 @insanityismyidentity @back-intheu-s-s-r @a-serendipitous-silence @amphibianalien @capregalia @pluviopxtrified @heartfeltghost @rukus-is-yearning
Okiie let’s see
1) Drawing, learning the guitar, and weird make up stuff
2) My friends!! And my cats
3) Browsing wiki, yt and social nets for mental health info
4) My paras
5) Seeing my mutuals in notifs 😊
@commonghost @panonbinary @enma-reblogs @praisetheduck @throughthedoomdays @intergalacticwarriorred @kaz3313
Hmm..
1) All the Arts and crafts!! (Especially drawing)
2) Making my friends happy (and mutuals too!)
3) My two baby birbs! 💚💙
4) Summer (especially when I’m on the beach)
@a-book-locked-nerd @sco-ob @mainmenuprelude @chibi-tofu @mehwhyno @lesbian-grandma @aesthetics-themusical @red-mouthed-sinner @sweetest-bean
oh boy,,
1. Friends and other nice people
2. Music!!
3. Arty things, drawing, painting, embroidery, crochet ect
4. Reading
5. Shows with lgbtq+ representation, like She Ra, Gentleman Jack, Steven Universe, The Dragon Prince
i don’t really know who to tag, so @silveroze sorry :p
Oh geez alright then
1. All my friends who are the best
2. All types of art like drawing, painting and sewing
3. Video games like Kingdom hearts and Zelda
4. Cute and pretty things like plushes, things that are crescent moon shaped and crystal
5. Reading books or manga
Sorry just picking people who reblogged my last post
@potatojayne @artful14-blog @mj-watsons @lunareclipse-13 @lupinthealchemist
Tony: Kid for the last time call me Tony
Peter: Ok Phoughneigh
Tony: listen here you little shi-
Huey Headcanon:
When he was younger (4-6) he was the psychotic brother.
“Lemme see what you have.” “A knife!” “NO!”
“Huey, I’m sorry I drank your Capri Sun but STOP CHASING ME WITH A KNIFE!!”
“Lemme have the remote!” “No Huey, it’s my turn!” “Give me the remote or else I’ll dissect you and eat you alive.” “H-Here you go…”
“Could I have the plate of cooked dead fetuses?” “…He means eggs, could he have eggs with his pancakes?”
“Huey, why did you dump all the red frosting on Mrs. Gingerbread?” “Because Mr. Gingerbread shot his wife!”
“What do you want for breakfast?” “Souls of the innocent!” “…How about bagels?”
“I love you, Unca Donald! I’m glad mommy’s dead!” “…What the fuck?”
“Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story?” “I’m glad you finally like a good ol’ love story.” “No, I like it because they both die.” “Goddammit.”
(Feel free to add on)
I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.
guy interrogating me: What’s the passcode?
me: Ah fuck. I think it might be 792.....4?
me: Actually no I think it starts with a 2.
me:
me: Yeah I usually just rely on muscle memory for it. Do you think you could get a keypad in here? That might be faster.
guy interrogating me: who do you work for?!
me: Okay, so this is super embarrassing. I know he told me his name when we first met but I forgot and at this point it would be weird if I asked him for his name again, right? So I just kind of go with “sir” whenever I have to talk to him. It might be David though. He looks like a David.
me, after being extracted: bad news guys, I totally blew Dave’s cover.
my boss: Wait, what?
me: Yeah, like they had knives and shit and it was kind of stressful so I just told them that my contact’s name was David Johnson. Really sorry about that.
boss: We don’t have a David Johnson working for us. Are you thinking of James?
me:
me: Good news, guys, I did not blow James’ cover!
Enemy 1: So, how did the interrogation go?
Enemy 2: We got nothing. All they did was ramble on about their childhood trauma for two hours.
Enemy 1: Hmm. maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.
Enemy 2: We didn’t use truth serum.
30 student enforced dorm rules
1. Never play scrabble with Momo. She will always win. No exceptions.
2. Never wash any dishes or turn on sinks when Bakugo is taking a shower. Last time that happened he got so surprised that there’s now a hole in the bathroom wall.
3. There are no kettles allowed. No one knows why, but every time they buy a new one Deku hides it. It’s best to just not buy them anymore as clearly it’s a waste of money.
4. At least 3 people need to remind Todoroki that dinner is on, because he will forget to eat.
5. Never talk about heroes at the dinner table. Bakugo, Deku and Todoroki almost always end up in a heated argument and all three never finish their dinner.
6. Do not ask Tsuyu to grab something with her tongue just because it’s too far away from the couch. She’s too nice to say no.
7. Movie nights are every Saturday night. It’s kinda mandatory. A different person is allowed to pick the movie genre every week in rotation. Movies in that genre are then voted on.
8. If Deku falls asleep on you, you’re stuck. If you move, he will literally squeeze the life out of you.
9. Todoroki is not your heater
10. Todoroki is not your air conditioner
11. Having Ochako float marshmallows while Todoroki shoots fire at them is not the correct way to roast marshmallows. Do it the normal way.
12. Dark Shadow is not the class pet. He is very dangerous and Tokoyami is sick of everyone trying to pet him.
13. Sensei Aizawa may have given you his number, but it is for emergencies and cat pictures ONLY. Please don’t text him asking for homework answers. You’re not funny.
14. If you occupy the dorm rooms in close approximation to Ochako’s, please remind her to make sure to either wear kitchen mittens or strap herself down in bed before she goes to sleep. It’s quite horrifying to walk into her room in the morning and see her sleeping on the ceiling, and it’s not good for her blood pressure.
15. Mineta is not allowed to even step foot in the girls corridors. If he’s seen there, you’re welcome to literally kick him out.
16. No one is allowed to break into Deku’s room to hide behind his cardboard figures and jump out to scare him. He almost died of a heart attack last time and he is very capable of destroying the building if scared.
17. Pranking Todoroki is a horrible idea. He has amazing natural reflexes and you will probably die.
18. Please be mindful in the hallways, you can’t always fully see Hagakure but she’s there and doesn’t appreciate being bumped into.
19. As of the next three months, Denki is on trash duty. Do not let anyone else do it, it is his job. This goes to show that you’re not allowed to reenact the scene of Ratatouille where Remy gets struck by lighting on the roof.
20. Mineta is excluded from being able to help pick movies. He only picks vulgar movies, and we are very concerned by the amount of films he knows by heart. Do not encourage him.
21. Any and all Vogue magazines go to Mina. She will fight you for them, so it’s best to just give them up.
22. Anyone in the rooms next to Todoroki and Bakugo are on constant fire extinguishing duties. They both generate flame when they sleep, and we’re sick of waking up to fire alarms.
23. Flirting with Deku as a joke to make Todoroki jealous is not smart. He is very scary and will probably internally plan your murder.
24. If Deku texts you at 3 in the morning with a link to a reddit post, do not click on it, do not engage. Tell him to go to sleep, and threaten to wake Todoroki if he doesn’t let up.
25. Having Kirishima burst through a wall and scream “OH YEAHH” as the Cool-Aid man is not worth the money it takes to replace the wall.
26. Oujiro has a tail. This should be obvious. Please be courteous and pay attention before you sit down next to him.
27. Deku can and will physically harm you if you speak ill of All Might. Do not speak ill of All Might.
28. Please don’t leave dirty dishes out. This should be obvious, and it drives Bakugo insane. He’s up past 8 to clean them, and that’s his bedtime.
29. Denki is not a phone charger. He will agree to charge your phone, but if he sneezes you’re all screwed.
30. Do not accept brownies from Sero.
( Posted and written by Iida Tenya, put into more modern terms by Mina )
(Pt2 is here)
(Pt3 is here)
(Pt4 is here)
(Thor and Loki waiting to picking up Peter from school)
Loki: What's the word for the tiny infestation of creatures over there again?
Thor: those are childern Loki and no you can't adopt them and make them into your army to try and take over New York again
Loki: Aw your no fun *crossed arms and pouts*
(In Hydra base)
Tony: Ok so what's our exit strategy?
Peter: our what?
Tony: oh my god we're all going to die
C R Y I N G OMG
I DONT THINK YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND
HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE SPIDERMAN PICS
OH OH OHHH! I have some!!
oh shit not this fucking bullshit again oh my god jfklsdjflkj
THERE’S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM!
HOLY FUCK HE’S BACK OMG
I’M ACUTALLY CRYING HERE OH GOD
can’t forget these
upatnightwiththestars
And the Spider-Man voice actor read these in character.
More than one!
:D
SO GLORIOUS
Everyone needs this post in their feed
Peter going back to Aunt Mays after fighting really late
May, sitting on peters bed: And where were you all evening
Peter: I was at the uh compound with Tony
Tony turning around in a swivel chair: you wanna try again?
Magic touch
Tony: I guess you could say you've got-
Stephen: No
Tony: The magic touch
Stephen: I will end you
When Bucky has the cold
Tony: Sorry I have a clingy and feverish assassin on my lap. I'll call you back when I convince him that the cold doesn't mean he's dying.
Bucky: I'm too pretty to die *sneezes*
Tony with Peter: my baby, my sweet child, my angel, what is wrong? You stubbed your toe????? I am here to protect you. I love you.
Tony with the rest of the avengers: LMAOOO SOMEONE GOT STABBED??? One of you shits BETTER have filmed it or I’m gonna start buying 1 ply toilet roll.
Hot🔥
Tony: I'M TOO HOT
Tony: *points to Bucky*
Tony: :D
Tony: :D
Tony: :D
Bucky: *sighs*
Bucky: *monotone with deadpan expression* Hot damn
Tony: CALL THE POLICE AND FIRE MAN
Working...
Tony: We're just...
Steve: Working...
Tony: Yes! We were just working... together... independently...
Peter: So... You two work without your clothes on?
When Peter does something stupid
Tony: I'm way too sober for this