30 student enforced dorm rules
1. Never play scrabble with Momo. She will always win. No exceptions.
2. Never wash any dishes or turn on sinks when Bakugo is taking a shower. Last time that happened he got so surprised that there’s now a hole in the bathroom wall.
3. There are no kettles allowed. No one knows why, but every time they buy a new one Deku hides it. It’s best to just not buy them anymore as clearly it’s a waste of money.
4. At least 3 people need to remind Todoroki that dinner is on, because he will forget to eat.
5. Never talk about heroes at the dinner table. Bakugo, Deku and Todoroki almost always end up in a heated argument and all three never finish their dinner.
6. Do not ask Tsuyu to grab something with her tongue just because it’s too far away from the couch. She’s too nice to say no.
7. Movie nights are every Saturday night. It’s kinda mandatory. A different person is allowed to pick the movie genre every week in rotation. Movies in that genre are then voted on.
8. If Deku falls asleep on you, you’re stuck. If you move, he will literally squeeze the life out of you.
9. Todoroki is not your heater
10. Todoroki is not your air conditioner
11. Having Ochako float marshmallows while Todoroki shoots fire at them is not the correct way to roast marshmallows. Do it the normal way.
12. Dark Shadow is not the class pet. He is very dangerous and Tokoyami is sick of everyone trying to pet him.
13. Sensei Aizawa may have given you his number, but it is for emergencies and cat pictures ONLY. Please don’t text him asking for homework answers. You’re not funny.
14. If you occupy the dorm rooms in close approximation to Ochako’s, please remind her to make sure to either wear kitchen mittens or strap herself down in bed before she goes to sleep. It’s quite horrifying to walk into her room in the morning and see her sleeping on the ceiling, and it’s not good for her blood pressure.
15. Mineta is not allowed to even step foot in the girls corridors. If he’s seen there, you’re welcome to literally kick him out.
16. No one is allowed to break into Deku’s room to hide behind his cardboard figures and jump out to scare him. He almost died of a heart attack last time and he is very capable of destroying the building if scared.
17. Pranking Todoroki is a horrible idea. He has amazing natural reflexes and you will probably die.
18. Please be mindful in the hallways, you can’t always fully see Hagakure but she’s there and doesn’t appreciate being bumped into.
19. As of the next three months, Denki is on trash duty. Do not let anyone else do it, it is his job. This goes to show that you’re not allowed to reenact the scene of Ratatouille where Remy gets struck by lighting on the roof.
20. Mineta is excluded from being able to help pick movies. He only picks vulgar movies, and we are very concerned by the amount of films he knows by heart. Do not encourage him.
21. Any and all Vogue magazines go to Mina. She will fight you for them, so it’s best to just give them up.
22. Anyone in the rooms next to Todoroki and Bakugo are on constant fire extinguishing duties. They both generate flame when they sleep, and we’re sick of waking up to fire alarms.
23. Flirting with Deku as a joke to make Todoroki jealous is not smart. He is very scary and will probably internally plan your murder.
24. If Deku texts you at 3 in the morning with a link to a reddit post, do not click on it, do not engage. Tell him to go to sleep, and threaten to wake Todoroki if he doesn’t let up.
25. Having Kirishima burst through a wall and scream “OH YEAHH” as the Cool-Aid man is not worth the money it takes to replace the wall.
26. Oujiro has a tail. This should be obvious. Please be courteous and pay attention before you sit down next to him.
27. Deku can and will physically harm you if you speak ill of All Might. Do not speak ill of All Might.
28. Please don’t leave dirty dishes out. This should be obvious, and it drives Bakugo insane. He’s up past 8 to clean them, and that’s his bedtime.
29. Denki is not a phone charger. He will agree to charge your phone, but if he sneezes you’re all screwed.
30. Do not accept brownies from Sero.
( Posted and written by Iida Tenya, put into more modern terms by Mina )
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