Writer, enthusiast, overthinker

[weird-goodbyes]

The thing about Hadestown is the line “To know how it ends. And still begin to sing it again. As if it might turn out this time” is an incredible way to describe most of life. We try because we have to believe that even when the ending is set in stone, it’s still worth trying. It’s still better to be a person who tried.

[silvertonedwords]

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the deleted bed scene. Do you think they got into bed and cuddled after Ziva was comforting Tony about Henry and fell asleep like that? Or Ziva did her night cuddle attack again? They both seem so comfortable with the physical touch that I'm guessing they fell asleep like that. I need to know what was going through their heads; a simple cuddle for comfort, slipping into old habits or thiking they're practically back together?

Also, in episode 7 when Ziva's saying she spoke to Sophie and said she wasn't sure if she was slipping back into old habits, do you think she mentioned what had happened? I guess maybe Tali told Sophie what she'd walked in on? So many questions!

I looooveee this scene so much. Gah. Just the emotional intimacy of it. Talking about their worst fears about their daughter, and how it felt, and how she's the best of them, and they've done right by her.

I think you're right that it was an intentional falling asleep together. I think after she held him sitting on the floor, they checked in with Sophie and Claudette, maybe, and got ready for bed together, and just, wordlessly, climbed into bed. It's sort of never been in question with them when they really need each other.

I don't know I imagine it sort of like Ch 7 of Old Habits (the one I wrote where he just shows up at Ziva's place having heard her panic attacks were bad this week, and they just wordlessly fall asleep together in her bed).

I'm not sure what either of them thought it was--I'm not sure they let themselves. I think they both hoped, probably, and tried not to think too much about it. It seemed like it just wasn't a question, that they needed to be close after a day like that.

I can understand for practical reasons why it was cut. First off, my initial take on it was that they'd had sex (I think it reads like that, because they'd established that he sleeps shirtless, and it takes a second to realize what you're seeing on her is a tank top and not a bra). I think it reads like they gave too much away of the surprise of their reunion. That said, from a writing point of view, in some ways it made more sense with this scene as context...

Tali saying it was "weird seeing you like that" cause they were flirty at breakfast but like, "weird"?

Tony crying with Archie and his admission that he missed her makes even more sense, although of course the way he let her in at the end of Ep 6 justifies that realization. It seems like sleeping knowingly in her arms would be a bigger aha-moment though?

Sophie saying "you never updated me" makes more sense because presumably she'd have heard all about it from Tali? Otherwise I think we're referring back to Ep 3 where Ziva tells her about that moment outside Nicole's house where they "almost..." (kissed?)

I presume Ziva repeating her conversation with Sophie to Tony was meant to be in reference to the one we heard while she was on the rooftops. That they're good at not talking, etc. Almost like Ziva was resigning herself to the idea that they would be there for each other emotionally in extreme moments like their daughter having been in danger, but Tony wouldn't be interested in doing the real relationship thing.

What I do like about this cut scene is that it sort of shows them doing the reverse of the usual--vulnerable conversation first, sex later. Not avoiding things. And it closes the loop of the stuff we'd been watching: Ziva's fear that they would raise Tali to be like her, but also that they would not raise her to be like her enough. Her struggle with her instinct to be emotionally closed off because it makes pain easier to manage. And Tony's shame about his inability to be emotionally open, and his fear he'd pass that on to Tali. It's really beautiful to watch them admit those things, which they were never able to say in as many words when they were together.

Something I noticed more rewatching it this time through is that Ziva is expressing feeling settled about her thing--that they raised Tali to be resourceful and smart but not a warrior. "We did something right"--and that makes her feel emotionally close to Tony, because of course, because parenting is the part of their partnership that never really broke.

"Maybe we did" he says. He's less sure. I think he's still feeling like them breaking up was his fault--for not being able to be emotionally open, and for lying to her. "No jokes, just honest." I think maybe he's thinking that to really do this right, he would've done what she'd wanted, been open in therapy...he was afraid of his own pain and anger, but now he's afraid that it made him lose her...and I think he's afraid of the feeling that doing things right by Tali is amazing, but it's not enough, because he wanted to do right by Ziva, too.

Anyway I love this scene because it's just the most honest conversation about the past we got to see them have in the present day timeline. But also, I can see why it was hard to fit in. I'm having this problem with La Samba (my fic set at the end of this episode). Tiva being Tiva wants to just let their bodies do the talking and be close again and not have to define it, because that conversation is too intimidating--it means to much, feels too big. But when I actually went to write a reunion sex scene where they didn't talk a little first, they were both completely terrified of being physically affectionate with each other while wondering if it would be taken away in the morning. Because the show could hand-wave it and say, oh look, it's several days later, and they were in danger, and now here's an I love you, they didn't have to deal. But in an actual timeline, with the gaps filled in, it's kinda hard.

Anyway, I ramble, but I love this scene. I just love how they are together. You can see exactly why they work.

[nexttomylasagne]

i don't think i'll ever be over how quietly loving, intimate and affectionate this is... 🫠🫠🫠

[silvertonedwords]

Ok La Samba chapter 3 let's goooo

[silvertonedwords]

Finally starting to be happy with how La Samba chapter 3 is shaping up. Only took fifteen attempts. Also planned some stuff for Old Habits.

[alwayswatchthewatchers]

#flirty bbs #married #blessed

[silvertonedwords]

what I love about this is that it got less frequent later in the show because oops...feelings!

[silvertonedwords]

Time and Place (read on AO3)

A story of what happened to "taking things slow". Or, how, in the weeks after they returned home post-spinoff, Tony and Ziva's daily lives started to become more intertwined.

9k words

Rating: M

Preview ...

“I was just…” he defends, trailing off while her lips skim along his jaw.

“Snooping?” she teases, voice warm in his ear.

"Looking," he emphasizes, burrowing his hand into her hair. It’s soft and wild and gorgeous today. She's so beautiful like this, with afternoon sunlight glancing off of her dark hair, and that bright glint in her voice that means that she’s not done teasing him.

He nudges her nose with his as she pulls back. His breathing is still quick from her touch.

Her eyes sparkle.

“Am I forgiven?”

“Maybe.”

He frowns exaggeratedly and catches her lips once, twice more. She laughs. He could get drunk on that sound.

“And now?” he confirms, after a moment’s pause to groan as her light fingertips trace up his throat.

“Tony,” she complains, but she pulls back to look at him with a teasing smile, and loops her arm once more around his neck.

He hums, kissing her jaw. “Zi-va,” he replies, making a crisp, drawn-out pronunciation of each syllable.

...

[silvertonedwords]

Ha. Hahaha. How did this random post-spinoff angst-fluff turn into 9k words...

[samanthamulder]

Cote de Pablo as Ziva David in NCIS | 10.04 “Lost at Sea”

[silvertonedwords]

Writing updates

Hoping to have a little post-spinoff thing up tonight that's been partially written for months...

La Samba is probably gonna be a bit because here's me thinking I don't have much material but actually it's getting crazy long...

Someday, I Might is coming along but is so hard. Writing therapy sessions, man. Why does it suck so much especially when it's so necessary?

Old Habits 9-12 are pretty planned but not written.

[elssbethtascioni]

NCIS 3x08 - Under Covers NCIS: Tony & Ziva 1x03 - Cover Story

[seths-jarvis]

Tony DiNozzo & Tali David-DiNozzo - No Country Is Safe [1x01]

[stydixa]

NCIS: TONY & ZIVA (2025) 1.02 | No Friend of Mine

[silvertonedwords]

WIP Wednesday - Someday, I Might, Chapter 2

We're gonna pretend it's still Wednesday...this chapter is quite unfinished still, so subject to change, but here's a little peek. Tagged by @indestinatus if you see this and you write, please consider yourself tagged, and tag me!

Ce sont toujours les pères, the ultrasound technician had said when Tony began to cry. It is always the fathers.

He has begun to cry again.

She brushes her fingertips at his shoulder. “You okay?”

He nods. “That was incredible.”

He’s looking at the steering wheel, where his hands rest on the black leather, rather than at her. She feels his shaky breath beneath her hand. His skin is warm through his shirt. She misses touching him.

“Look, I’ll do whatever you want, okay? We can stay how things are if we need to. You can move back in. We can find a bigger place where there’s space for you to have a separate room. Christ, we might need a bigger place, anyway. Where are we gonna put the crib?”

[silvertonedwords]

Alright which WIP Wednesday do y'all want to see today?

[sheistheweapon]

“was there a penalty for early withdrawal?”

“you’re a sick chick david.”

season 3, ep. 10 - probie aka an entire episode about mcgee that still manages to be ridiculously tiva centric

[silvertonedwords]

So, technically, La Samba (1x07 fic) and Someday, I Might (pregnancy AU) tied the poll...I'm gonna try for y'all. La Samba might be up first, because although it's been fighting me for months, I think I'm on the right track. (I should not do these fics where they take place over a set number of days; they are always frustrating.) Someday, I Might is shaping up but it is so, so hard to get right...

Also have a little fluff post-spinoff thing that's getting close.

We shall see.