Simar-says

How do you want to be remembered?

[simar-says]

I have a weird attachment with this diary.

Every time I open it to write in it, i just cant.

I think i’ll ruin it. I think i’ll mess up. What if the ink smudges the papers or what if I write something that doesn’t make any sense?

So yeah, I dont even try. It goes back into my cupboard as it is.

But then, am I not miss out on the whole purpose of it, just because I am too afraid to make a few mistakes?

[simar-says]

The tapered corners of the story of my existence,

The diminishing light, that once shone bright at my future,

The paling touch of the souls i’ve met,

The unwavering strength of the demons of my past,

All haunt me, haunt me to death.

[halflifesk666]

[simar-says]

[simar-says]

You were the air that I breathed.

Now, there is no air and I’m rather breathless.

[simar-says]

When you’ve lived on the streets for far too long, you forget the comfort of living in a cozy house.

[simar-says]

As much as I try to detangle the sequences and events of my life, they keep on getting even more intertwined.

I have got to understand that life is not a ball of wool that i can make a sweater out of easily.

It is rather a cotton cloth which fits in for all seasons, representing that my life has witnessed so many various colors and has amassed such beautiful experiences that I have eventually started to fit in the world of chaos!

[weltenwellen]

Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke’s Book of Hours

[simar-says]

A friend of mine once told me that people with same energies attract each other. But I told him that it’s quite contrary to what we’ve always heard- that opposites attract.

‘We’re people, not magnets’ he said, and that is staying with me forever.

[simar-says]

You shared a part of your life with me today.

You told me about the incidents of your past. A lot of it made sense to me. A lot of it made it clear why you are the way you are.

You were hesitant at first but I could see that there’s so much you wanted to say. I didn’t even persuade you to tell me. I just asked once, and the words flew out of your mouth. You started speaking and never stopped.

I realised how much people carry inside them. How much they have to say. How much they look for that one person to listen to them.

I realised that some things from your past will hurt me. Some things happening in your life right now will make me realise that I am stuck in a messed up situation.

But then, eventually, none of this will matter.

None of this will matter because after all, YOU shared it all with ME.

If nothing else, atleast you though of me at the end of your day.

[simar-says]

The tapered corners of the story of my existence,

The diminishing light, that once shone bright at my future,

The paling touch of the souls i’ve met,

The unwavering strength of the demons of my past,

All haunt me, haunt me to death.

[simar-says]

I pity myself for the way I let people treat me.

I don’t know why every time, I give someone else the power to control my emotions. There is a void in my chest and a pounding beat in my stomach at the same time. My heart feels heavy of the many emotions I’ve been carrying inside me of late. I’m told that crying is not for the strong-headed, but honestly, crying eases my pain a bit.

I don’t know what to expect from life. I’m just twenty and they say I have a whole life to look forward to. However, the uncertainty of the many things around me makes me question the uncertainty of my own being.

[simar-says]

While it’s very true that you need to be alone to introspect and learn about yourself, what can also not be ignored is that you need someone to bring the best and worst out in you. That, you cannot do alone!

[simar-says]

People leave, relationships end, feelings change and so do the circumstances.

But what remains with you are the memories that you built together and the hope of bumping into them one day and making everything just alright.

[simar-says]

My heart’s so heavy that it might explode anytime now.

I feel like I’m missing out on valuable things in life just because I want to pursue my dreams and passions.

I feel the agony of not being able to do just everything, and the pain of choosing what I have to do, over what I want to do.

And my biggest fear is regretting my choices in the future.

I understand that some people get their way very early in life. I accept that I’m not among those people.

But then I don’t want to be carrying this burden of choosing one out of the two difficult choices every fucking time.

For once, I want to have it my way, without thinking about the repercussions or the expectations strangling me.

For once, I want to stand up for myself

BEFORE MY HEART EXPLODES!

[simar-says]

It’s easy to go with the flow when things are working out

But when things get tough, you start to question everything.

- Through my window

[simar-says]

If nothing else, we’ll at least have these moments to live by.