Guys, I just want to let you all know that I will be inactive for a while. I'm going on vacation so I'll only be on while I can. This also means that I won't be able to get on to the main page that often. If you need me, contact me here due to the fact that I didn't bring my iPad with my kik on it so just message me here if you need me!
Sitting in her bath tub, with a glass of wine beside her, her laptop playing music and a book. Gemma had been sitting in it for an hour, refilling it every now and then to get the water to stay warm. Her legs were pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them holding onto 'On The Road' by Jack Kerouac, her all time favourite book. Her hair was a damp curtain around her, as she turned her head to her phone on the windowsill that was ringing. Ignoring it Gemma turned back to her book, picking up the glass of wine and taking a long gulp. She hadn't spoken to anyone in days. Her last human contact, that excluded the delivery man from what ever take out she called that day, was at the start of the week in work. Deciding it was time to take some time off work was one of brightest ideas Gemma had conceived in months. She didn't want to speak to anyone. If she did she was afraid she would break. Her heart was in pieces, she had never felt the way she did, after she went away with all her friends. It had been a mistake going and she knew that would be. But, she couldn't form a good enough reason to say no.
Gemma was placing Ā the glass back down on the side of her bath tub, when her head snapped in the direction of her laptop. She hadn't been paying attention to the song that had been playing, but now as the familiar The Spill Canvas song plays through the speakers, she knows her iTunes has skipped into the mix Brooks once made for her. The glass missed the edge and crashes to the ground, the contents spilling all over the white bath mat, and her book follows it as her eyes begin to tear up. She blinks rapidly as she tries to stop any drops from cascading down her cheeks. Standing up in the bath, Gemma grabs her bath robe and wraps it around her body, tying the belt as she slams her laptop shut to stop the music from filling the bathroom.Ā
Biting on her lip she stalks out of the room, as a few tears begin to escape. Gemma ran down the corridor that leads to her bedroom and went straight for a small Jo Malone box that was lying under her bed, holding the memories she was trying to forget. The memories she was ignoring for the past two weeks. Opening the small cream and black box, she turns it upside down allowing the contents to spill in front of her as she drops to her knees. As the tears fall faster, burning her cheeks on their descent. The few pictures they had taken on her phone, she had gotten printed before deleting, ranged from hanging out on her couch, to when they had snuck off to Brighton together. A sob shook her body as she dropped them beside her, and picked up the letter he once wrote her. When things were okay. When she was okay. Her hands grabbed tightly on to it, creasing the paper. Her head was telling her to rip it to shreds that she needed to do it. That she wouldn't move on unless she did, but the ache in her heart caused her to ball it up and throw it across the room.
She stared at the CD that was sitting facing up at her, for a few minutes, "I really love you." She read repeatedly, "I really love you". A lump grew in her throat as she remembered laying on the sofa, saying those words over and over with him as they listened to the music together. Gemma shot up from the ground and made her way back to the bathroom, picking up her phone. She scrolled through the contacts until she made it to 'B'. Her finger stopped over his name. She needed to see him, she needed to hold him, she needed him to hold her, but something was stopping her. Her finger hovered over his name, as she walked out of the bathroom, and into her sitting room where she paced back and forth, going over the pros and cons of giving in. Glancing up she caught a picture that was framed on her bookshelf, which caused her to freeze. Taylor. Her best friend.Ā
Anger seeped its way through her, her tears coming faster, as she stared at the photo. How could she do this to her? How could she hurt her best friend this way? How could she ever think this was okay? The same thoughts went over and over through her head, she deserved this pain. She deserved it. She caused this, she was the one who was hurting her best friend. Her best friend who had always been there for her. She was the one that slept with Brooks. This was all her fault because she couldn't stay away. She deserved what ever was coming for her. Dropping her phone to the ground, her vision blurred as she stumbled into her kitchen going to the cupboard under the sink, she grabbed the full bottle of vodka and started to drink.Ā
Oh, you know- Actually, I don't know. I've been cocooned in my bed watching everything on Netflix since we got back from Brighton. So, if you hear anything, let me know!
They have enough information to cover textbooks. You can download it, then print it babe! It's a great way to save some money. All that cash my parents gave me for books went on freshers week! Yeah I just finished my first year of Pharmacy.Ā
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