tama ba pagkakaalala ko? parang may unspoken rule dito sa tumblr na pag naka-tag under #personal, you don't reblog it? or you don't grab it and repost it elsewhere. kasi... duh, it's personal for a reason.
or gawa-gawa lang ba 'to ng utak ko? HAHAHA. pero i swear i remember there being some sort of etiquette around the #personal tag back in the day.
i've been thinking about my relationship with posting online lately.
it's sunday today, and i finally had the time to sit down and write about it. this has been something i've been thinking about for a while now, but i never really had the chance to put my thoughts together.
it's funny because i've been posting more again, and i realized that i actually missed it. not in a "i need people to know what i'm doing" kind of way. more like… i missed having little pieces of my life saved somewhere. because if i really think about it, i've always loved documenting things.
back in high school and college, i was that person who would post random things. photos with friends, random moments, sunsets, little updates about my day. i wasn't really thinking about how it looked or if people cared. i just wanted to keep those memories somewhere. i think i was just documenting my life without even realizing it.
then somewhere along the way, that changed. i started looking up to people who were very private online. the kind of people who didn't share much about their lives. they seemed so intentional, so calm, so mysterious in a way, and i admired that. so i thought maybe that's what i should be too. maybe being lowkey meant being more interesting. maybe sharing less meant having more value. so i tried. but honestly, i struggled with it. because the thing is… i still loved taking photos. i still loved capturing random little moments. i still loved looking back at old memories. i just couldn't figure out where the line was between documenting my life and sharing too much of it. and because i couldn't find the middle ground, i think i just went to the other extreme.
in 2019, i ended up deleting my old social media accounts (except facebook for some reason).
when i started creating accounts again, i was still trying to figure out what kind of person i wanted to be online. i wanted to be private, but i also missed sharing little pieces of my life. then earlier this year, i completely went off facebook and instagram for a while.
and while there were things i appreciated about being away, i also realized something i didn't expect. i missed documenting. i missed looking back. i missed those random memories that didn't seem important when i was living them, but somehow became so special years later.
i think that's when i realized… maybe i was never really posting for other people. maybe i was posting for future me.
lately, i feel like i'm posting like it's 2015 again. not because i suddenly want to share everything about my life. i still don't. there are parts of my life that i genuinely want to keep private. some things feel more special when they're just mine. not everything needs to be shared for it to be meaningful. but i've also stopped feeling like every little thing needs to stay hidden just because i'm afraid of being perceived. i think i'm finally finding my own middle ground.
being private doesn't have to mean disappearing. you can keep things sacred while still letting yourself document the life you're living. and maybe that's what i've been trying to find all along. not the version of me who shares everything, not the version of me who disappears completely. just the version of me who knows what feels right to share.
anyway… finally sharing this little video i made back in january for my birthday. this was supposed to be my goodbye to my 20s post that i was planning to share on facebook or ig, but i never got to post it because i was taking a break from those platforms at that time. it's a compilation of my birthday moments from 2016, when i was 20, until 2025, the last year of my 20s.
this is exactly why i love documenting life. because one day, you get to look back and see all the different versions of yourself that existed along the way.
i mass-privated my posts a few days ago, then slowly made a few public again. somehow my pagination disappeared, so now my blog looks like it only has a handful of posts.
anyway, not for you to think about. i'm just publishing this as a test and somehow overexplaining it lol
there’s something nice about breaking away from the usual routine every once in a while. today’s little beach detour wasn't part of the plan, but i think those are usually the best kinds of days.
thanks, boyfie, for the random side trip and for always giving me reasons to leave the house. 😂
my friend went home from manila a few days ago for a quick sanity break and flies back tomorrow, so we met up for a quick catch-up. 💗
it was nice doing something outside of work on a random workday for once lol
also, my hair is long now and i don't like it. i keep telling myself i'll make time for a salon trip, but somehow it never happens.
and on another note, i have a few more photos and videos on my phone from the past few days (or maybe weeks). nothing particularly exciting, just little moments i don't want to forget. i should probably post some of them here eventually.
i don't have the tumblr app on my phone anymore, which is probably why i've been posting a little less lately. maybe i'll get around to sharing them when i'm feeling less lazy. haha.
trying not to be such a workaholic, but if you happen to know a business owner (preferably US-based) who might need bookkeeping support and is open to working with a remote offshore team, please send them my way. 🤍
our company has a little room to take on a few more clients right now, and i'd love to connect.
i don't like bragging, but i can confidently say we're really good at what we do because "okay" has never been my standard 😅 i lose sleep over details, reconcile things until they make sense, and refuse to submit work that feels half-baked lol. i care a lot about doing things right, and i'm lucky to work with people who feel the same way.
anyway. thank you. 🤍 i promise i'll go back to posting random thoughts and unnecessarily long life updates soon.
it's just that i've got some things i'm really happy about lately, and every time i try to write about them, i end up staring at the screen because i don't know where to begin.
that awkward phase when you have good news brewing and you're dying to tell everyone but you also don't want to jinx it so now you're just sitting there vibrating with excitement in silence !!!!!
lots of difficult news today, and i think it's one of those days where my heart is feeling things it doesn't quite know how to carry.
sometimes the world feels very big, and sometimes it feels painfully small, like everyone's joys and sorrows are somehow brushing against each other. tonight i'm just sitting with that feeling and hoping for gentler days ahead. 🤍
i’m at this stage in my life where i’ve become a little distant from family gatherings. not because i don’t enjoy being there. i actually do. i love the laughter, the food, the familiar feeling of being surrounded by people i grew up with.
it just gets exhausting sometimes being asked over and over when i’m getting married.
and honestly, it’s not even because i feel like i’m falling behind in life. if anything, being not married yet at this age feels like a privilege sometimes. life is already hard enough these days. surviving, building a future, trying to become someone stable and whole. that alone takes so much out of a person.
sometimes i just wish people would let me exist without treating marriage like the next deadline i’m supposed to meet.
i’m at this weird stage where i badly need an assistant. and what im actually thinking is maybe like a protégé?
someone willing to learn how i work, how i think, how i solve problems. someone i can slowly pour knowledge into while also getting help carrying the workload. because i’m realizing that if i want to grow, i can’t spend all my energy buried in the operational side forever.
the problem is i don’t know if anyone would even be interested. and financially, i still don’t feel “ready” for it. but at the same time, i also know i can’t keep doing everything alone.
this popped up on my facebook memories today. and honestly, facebook memories is probably the only reason i still can’t bring myself to delete the account i made back in 2009.
there’s something strangely comforting about being reminded of who i was a year ago, two years ago, or even ten years ago. the posts, the random thoughts, the old photos, the versions of me i barely remember becoming.
sometimes it’s embarrassing. sometimes it hurts a little. but most of the time, it just feels nice knowing i existed in all those moments too.
theartofmadeline
prguitarman
stormborns
areudirty
romaincrisis
baratheonpilled
snowghoul