Be magical at all costs.

We are insignificant beings, in an insignificant world, doing insignificant things, that don't mean a damn to anyone but us. - the ones who refuse to give up

[demilypyro]

Remember when the TV would fizzle when you touched it man I haven’t thought about that in years

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

this post punched me in the fucking neck and my fingertip started ghost-tingling what the fuck what The. fuc

[animals-lovers]

Instagram: animals_lover_ig

[shrimpleandclean]

Please credit the actual photographer Tanja Brandt who took these beautiful photos of Ingo (the dog) and Poldi (the owl)!

[rotfae]

Hot adulting tip: make a “responsibilitysona” and roleplay them when you have chores to do

[shinelikethunder]

#this is Neurotypical Karen and she enjoys having good sleep hygeine & returning phone calls (via @deadpanwalking)

[hellenhighwater]

I find that if I’m wearing Real Adult Business Clothes my worksona can do things like call people and check my inbox, whereas pajamas hellen mostly wants to shovel hamburgers into her face and set things on fire. 

[laz-kay]

“40 is good, 50 is great, 60 is fab, and 70 is fucking awesome!” ~ Helen Mirren 💪🏻

[atratum]

missed some greats!

[yana125]

I can’t believe Julie Andrews is not on this list guys.

[the-evil-twin]

“It’s fucking outrageous. It’s ridiculous. And ’twas ever thus. We all watched James Bond as he got more and more geriatric, and his girlfriends got younger and younger. It’s so annoying.” - Helen Mirren on the bullshit that is (sexist) ageism (source) Whenever you need a positive role model to help you remember that aging is NATURAL, aging is BEAUTIFUL, there is NOTHING WRONG with aging, and if you’re LUCKY will you live long enough to experience it – look long and hard at every single one of these these Queens. LOOK. AT. THEM. 

[razziecat]

Go ladies!

[yesiamsleepy]

Might I add

Rekha

Hema Malini

Shabana Azmi

Asha Parekh

[con--brio]

Rita Moreno

[drunkenhills]

Many women have talked about how amazing life is after your 40s. Some have their happiest years in their 70s. We need to stop believing society when it tells us our lives are over when we reach 35.

[ferdisanerd]

The eternal struggle of an artist.

[minato2525]

[standpoor]

this literally changed my mood 180°

[lunamoonlc123-deactivated201910]

IT’S FACE WHEN IT POPS

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

<3_<3

LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIFUL CREATURES

[wan-shailu]

every time I reblog this my sister sends me a message to the effect of “thank u for reposting that cat video on your tumblr i have seen it so many times but it delights me every time because their paws are so gentle and graceful”

[friendly-animals]

(Source)

[hotboyproblems]

the happy ending he deserved

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

[toddreu-deactivated20191220]

Sudden urge to go adopt about 20 senior dogs

[just-shower-thoughts]

People with anxiety don’t have a train of thought. We have seven trains on 4 tracks that narrowly avoid each other when the paths cross and all the conductors are screaming.

[pink-pone]

When your brain finally has some good creative ideas but it’s 3 AM and you need to sleep

[babyanimalgifs]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“WHAT DO U THINK UR DOING”

[animalsthatdopeoplethings]

[funny-pictures-uk-deactivated20]

Put it there, pal!

[debrides]

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[lesbirdan]

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

[hermionegranger]

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

[mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010]

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

[thomrainierskies]

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

[mirab3lle]

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

[icouldwritebooks]

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

[crimeronan]

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

[agrestenoir]

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

[gin-and-eschatonic]

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

[harold-theyre-thespians]

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

[narwhalsarefalling]

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

[wren-likethe-bird]

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

[la-mancha-screwjob]

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

[fair-itself]

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

[maplefiasco]

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

[iamthatbeast]

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

[widonotts]

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

[artwlw]

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

[youlovelucie]

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

[spacecores]

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

[thebritishteapot]

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

[sinister-sunshine]

I work at a doggie daycare and my boyfriend whom I live with is highly allergic to dogs. So when I get home I have to undress outside of our apartment and throw my clothes in an outside closet. Now when I see people walk into their houses I’m confused as to why they aren’t taking off their clothes... I’ve also began to undress after date night outside of our apartment which led to my embarrassment and my boyfriend’s excitement.

[badluckbadger]

The sound my stupid cat makes when I move him from his favourite spot (on top of my jackets)

[hhjjjjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhksl]

what kind of camera are you using this is like movie quality god damn

[sugarpiss]

HE SOUNDS SO SAD PUT hIM BACK

[disneytoonland]

The Little Mermaid 1989

[sleepysmilesamirite]

Do you guys know how long it took me to work out that he has seven daughters because there are seven seas?

Decades.

[little-bit-of-a-fixer-upper]

WHAT

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

Which sea is Ariel?

[crackcoffeeaddict]

Fucking red sea. Have you seen her hair.

[ari-els-blog1]

Attina- Bering sea (Bering is the largest, Attina is the oldest)

Alana- Black sea (hair)

Adella- Mediterranean sea (personality is romantic) 

Aquata-  Coral sea (personality is shy)

Arista- White sea (hair)

Andrina- Caribbean sea (personality is carefree)

Ariel- Red sea (hair)

[mnsreetusa]

Omg.

[believethatyoucangohome]

WHAT

[ginnyshipsdrarry]

Was their mother the Dead Sea?

[ameerkatofficial]

[just-shower-thoughts]

You know you’ve listened to a playlist/album a lot when you associate the end of one song with the beginning of another.

[sinister-sunshine]

So there's this guy... 😍

[sinister-sunshine]

That guy is gonna be my husband 😍

[sinister-sunshine]

IM MOVING IN WITH HIM 🎈