Remember when the TV would fizzle when you touched it man I havenât thought about that in years
this post punched me in the fucking neck and my fingertip started ghost-tingling what the fuck what The. fuc
sheepfilms
I'd rather be in outer space đž

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RMH
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Discoholic đȘ©
dirt enthusiast
AnasAbdin

shark vs the universe

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ

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DEAR READER

Andulka
will byers stan first human second
styofa doing anything
Jules of Nature
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
d e v o n
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@sinister-sunshine
Remember when the TV would fizzle when you touched it man I havenât thought about that in years
this post punched me in the fucking neck and my fingertip started ghost-tingling what the fuck what The. fuc
Instagram: animals_lover_ig
Please credit the actual photographer Tanja Brandt who took these beautiful photos of Ingo (the dog) and Poldi (the owl)!
Hot adulting tip: make a âresponsibilitysonaâ and roleplay them when you have chores to do
#this is Neurotypical Karen and she enjoys having good sleep hygeine & returning phone calls (via @deadpanwalking)
I find that if Iâm wearing Real Adult Business Clothes my worksona can do things like call people and check my inbox, whereas pajamas hellen mostly wants to shovel hamburgers into her face and set things on fire.Â
â40 is good, 50 is great, 60 is fab, and 70 is fucking awesome!â ~ Helen Mirren đȘđ»
missed some greats!
I canât believe Julie Andrews is not on this list guys.
âItâs fucking outrageous. Itâs ridiculous. And âtwas ever thus. We all watched James Bond as he got more and more geriatric, and his girlfriends got younger and younger. Itâs so annoying.â - Helen Mirren on the bullshit that is (sexist) ageism (source) Whenever you need a positive role model to help you remember that aging is NATURAL, aging is BEAUTIFUL, there is NOTHING WRONG with aging, and if youâre LUCKY will you live long enough to experience it â look long and hard at every single one of these these Queens. LOOK. AT. THEM.Â
Go ladies!
Might I add
Rekha
Hema Malini
Shabana Azmi
Asha Parekh
Rita Moreno
Many women have talked about how amazing life is after your 40s. Some have their happiest years in their 70s. We need to stop believing society when it tells us our lives are over when we reach 35.
The eternal struggle of an artist.
this literally changed my mood 180°
ITâS FACE WHEN IT POPS
<3_<3
LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIFUL CREATURES
every time I reblog this my sister sends me a message to the effect of âthank u for reposting that cat video on your tumblr i have seen it so many times but it delights me every time because their paws are so gentle and gracefulâ
(Source)
the happy ending he deserved
Sudden urge to go adopt about 20 senior dogs
People with anxiety donât have a train of thought. We have seven trains on 4 tracks that narrowly avoid each other when the paths cross and all the conductors are screaming.
When your brain finally has some good creative ideas but itâs 3 AM and you need to sleep
Creative photos from mom and her two daughters
Instagram : @allthatisshe
I love all three of them instantly.
This is so pure. I love it
âWHAT DO U THINK UR DOINGâ
Put it there, pal!
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (âsay bye bus!â) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
Iâm glad thereâs a teacher version of âaccidentally called teacher âmomââ
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people âmy lordâ
One time during family prayer, dad began: âour father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?â
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say âWelcome to White Castle, whatâs your crave?â) asked, âWelcome to White Castle, whatâs your problem?â
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendyâs and the girl said âWelcome to McDonaldsâ and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered âplease open your books to page eightâ, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say â$2.60 is your totalâ while handing back their change, or say âhow are you doing today?â instead of âhave a good day!â like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: âfew books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be bothâ
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say âthanks, youre all setâ and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said âthanks, youre importantâ
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said âoh thank you! youre important too!â
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was âat least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined âyoure welcomeâ and âno problemâ into âyoure a problemââ
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, âThis is why we use our walking feet.â we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, âyeah, okay, i shouldâve done that.â
Iâve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like âbehindâ and âcoming aroundâ as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; Iâm a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a âcoming with a knifeâ while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her âHello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alexâ
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I have woken up in a cold sweat saying âis that for here or to go?â
Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with âgladlyâ or âmy pleasureâ, I die completely 1000% inside
I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying âRobertâ I hollered âName and donor number!?â into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.
In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, âokay, thatâll be $5.46!â I cheerfully responded, âDo you have a Borders rewards card?â
I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog âSirâ when I was mad at him.
My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, âNot a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!â before realizing my mistake.
my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout âi can get the next person in line!â but instead of saying that she yelled âHI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITHâ to everyone in the general area
I have told my dog âno thank youâ so many times after working at a preschool
a couple of times iâve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyerâs cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, âno⊠I have the bagsâ
Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.
I work at a doggie daycare and my boyfriend whom I live with is highly allergic to dogs. So when I get home I have to undress outside of our apartment and throw my clothes in an outside closet. Now when I see people walk into their houses Iâm confused as to why they arenât taking off their clothes... Iâve also began to undress after date night outside of our apartment which led to my embarrassment and my boyfriendâs excitement.
The sound my stupid cat makes when I move him from his favourite spot (on top of my jackets)
what kind of camera are you using this is like movie quality god damn
HE SOUNDS SO SAD PUT hIM BACK
The Little Mermaid 1989
Do you guys know how long it took me to work out that he has seven daughters because there are seven seas?
Decades.
Which sea is Ariel?
Fucking red sea. Have you seen her hair.
Attina- Bering sea (Bering is the largest, Attina is the oldest)
Alana- Black sea (hair)
Adella- Mediterranean sea (personality is romantic)Â
Aquata- Â Coral sea (personality is shy)
Arista- White sea (hair)
Andrina- Caribbean sea (personality is carefree)
Ariel- Red sea (hair)
Omg.
Was their mother the Dead Sea?
You know youâve listened to a playlist/album a lot when you associate the end of one song with the beginning of another.