This wasn't the first iteration of my blog. I think there were 2 before this. Christ if this is 13 years then that means it holds all the bullshit about he who shall not be named.
I've never gone back to the start and read what I wrote. Have you on your blog? I feel like I'd have too much urge to delete posts and I want to preserve this for the spawn. To read about my stupidity, vulnerability, mistakes, and lessons.
I went over some of my archive. Comments and thoughts on 13 years below the cut, including some photos I pulled from the archives and an updated face photo from a month ago.
Having just gone back over a few 2013 & 2014 posts I think I'll leave it there. 2013 has more photos of me crying about a fuckboi prick than I can shake a stick at.
But I'm also reminded of our losses as a community. Brad. Lauren. Their words and interaction in my life will always remain a part of how I've grown as a person. Both losses were painful and I still feel it now.
Comments on one post reminding me of Josh/Yellowcake who talked to me during my lowest days to remind me that I would find what I have with Dale one day. Conversations I still repeat to others as advice a decade later.
The end of 2013 looks miserable. 2014 wasn't much better until the first week of Dec. 2 weeks clean from he who shall not be named, I dm'd a gymrat on this hellsite, thinking 'Hmm he's not that far really, he could be fun'. He's still fun in 2025
2013
2015 - a few days before meeting Dale for the first time
2016 was a horrid trying year for everyone in our house. I started off the year strong. Literally
But the mid and end of the year were the most difficult times I've been through as a person and a parent.
May 2016 My ex husband and the kids dad, died in the early hours before we woke up. I still can not reconcile these memories or begin to process them. I will hold this one until I am needed less. When the kids are closer to being done with University. Then we'll find a therapist & rip that band aid off. We keep this one in a box for now.
It almost feels as if life has been measured at times as the 'before' and 'after' this event.
As we get closer to 2026 I think its the right time to get back to the above photos though. 2025 has been about my recovery and maintaining wellbeing, health and making good choices. But the last 5 years of rot has left me with muscle wastage and a body that needs filling out because of dramatic weight loss this year.
2013 vs 2025 - I'd complain about eye bags but who are we kidding. I've always had them and that 2013 photo is filtered to fuuuuuuck.
Thank you for being my friends for 13+ years. For being a sanctuary when I needed it. For saving me when I needed it. Some of you played a role in keeping me going, keeping me getting up in the morning. Through being a parent, to college, to University, you all have helped me in more ways than one.
The last 10yrs of my life would not have happened without Tumblr's influence and its this hellsite I always return to when I feel like I have nowhere else possible to go for help. Love you 4eva Tumblr Fam.
All his insulation is gone. The sink to the bottom is gonna be fast and furious. The stories coming out now are going to get even more insane. I hope this all adds to the anti monarchy sentiment in england. It is there, it just needs to grow.
My one hope is that this leads to William and Kate the last. They should make ending the monarchy their legacy. Its what his mother would have dreamed of for them.
@thelifesporadic interesting the Royal fall out, huh? I personally have always hated the royals. I used to walk around middle school saying they should be hung drawn and quartered like William Wallace 😂😂☠️ I was a little obsessed with my heritage even then 🙃
Prince Andrew fall out should have happened decades ago. Actually never understood why he was the queens favourite. He always been a cunt and used his position greedily.
I have noticed articles writing about Virginia sound different. They speak about her story with reverence and compassion. They talk about her book like she was a truth teller. There is no suspicion laced with the words they write about her now.
I wish she had got that in life. I wish she had been treated as the victim and survivor that shes always been. I wonder if she hoped her passing would be the beginning of this castle falling down.
Even the tone of the statement from Buckingham Palace was different. I do think it shows a clear demarcation between the current Charles crown and the incoming William + Kate crown. They are laying the ground work for their own reign.
Now Andrews stripped of all his value, the US House Dems want to call him for evidence.
Get. Him.
Put him through the wringer. Make that sorry excuse for a man prostrate himself publically.
And I don't just mean "oh, my little work mistake is actually nothing compared to a fiery crash that kills people," either. The reason commercial flight is so many orders of magnitude safer than any other form of transportation is because after every accident and incident, an independent regulatory body investigated it with the express goal of figuring out exactly what happened, why, and how to prevent the same thing from ever happening again—not to root out which person deserved the blame or the liability.
It's a simple, shockingly effective idea. It's also worlds away from how most people approach their own mistakes and the mistakes of others.
Because it’s never just one person’s fault. And even when it is, it still isn’t.
The sharpest, best-trained pilots make worse decisions when they're tired or sick or stressed out, so there's two of them. The most dedicated and experienced air traffic controllers garble an instruction over the radio sometimes, so pilots are trained to always repeat clearances back to catch misunderstandings quickly. The best and brightest maintenance mechanic still overlooks a screw or misconnects a wire once or twice in her career, so aircraft systems are built with two or three or four layers of redundancy, and pilots are exhaustively trained to deal with failures safely.
Everyone eventually has a bad day. Every component breaks down. Every computer gets a bad a Windows update and spirals into a reboot doom loop. If it’s possible for one person’s mistake to domino into a mushroom cloud of a fuckup, then that task is too critical to be one person's sole responsibility. The accident sequence starts with the design of the system—so how do you improve the system to keep it from happening again?
oh yeah. The “modern commercial aviation is the safest form of transport” thing only applies to planes, btw. A helicopter is a beautiful metal horse that wants to break its legs and die so so so badly
This NSFW blog is feminist, pro-Palestine, pro-abortion, pro-communist, pro-trans, and pro-LGBTQ+.
I have zero interest in interacting with anyone who holds misogynistic, Zionist, homophobic, racist, or otherwise oppressive worldviews. If that’s you, then choke.
The respect I have for this woman is immense. She's made mistakes. Which she readily admits to. She's human just like the rest of us.
But you cant really get to grips with her rule in Scotland without also understanding the historical context of Scotland as she grew up and came into politics. Which she delves into.
Important reading if youve any interest in Scottish history, politics, or the politics of the UK as a whole.
Don’t think it’s gone unnoticed that you’re ramping up your recruitment propaganda recently. It’s clear what you’re doing. I’ve known enough squaddies to understand what goes into this for them. You destruction-worshipping, depraved, absolute cretins.
Before the goblins arrival on scene I was a nightclub manager in Norwich. Which is the go to place for most of Nofolks RAF, including the American bases.
I had a real big crush on one of the squadies for a while and in hindsight was a bullet missed.
Racist, small minded, desperate for violence in ways that I found... nauseating.
Anyway, point is, I knew quite a few. Various different demographics, various different ranks. All with some kind of view or behaviour I found abhorrent.
Obviously not all. But over all my experience of British squadies is not a good one.
I lost a drastic amount of weight in the last few months. For a few reasons
Brothers wedding and the idea of me ruining it
Stress of 20hrs travel
AuDHD & weddings
Teeth. Forever my fucking teeth.
I have a root canal thats needed to be done for about 4yrs. Idk how im surviving either. But now its bad. Not pain bad yet. But tenderness on my face where it needs doing. We were treating as NT last time and trying to save it.
I have hEDS & AuDHD. Both impact my ability to do dental hygiene (AuDHD) and the pace at which my teeth disintegrate (hEDS). This time, I went in explaining Im not NT and very much ND, and we need to work toward removing teeth that aren't saveable or that I'll just be back in 3 years again for removal.
I HAVENT EATEN STEAK IN 5 YEARS AND I MISS IT.
First appt done and referral to dental hospital sent over. In a few months' time, when I've completed all the work that needs to be done, I will get 3D scans done of the interior of my mouth, and then they'll fit fake teeth. Not dentures like they used to, apparently. Theyre just gonna ram some new teeth into my jaw and screw them in. Fancy.
I just wanna eat like a normal person. The longer this goes on, the more I have to restrict my diet. So I just told her, "Take all the bad out." Just get rid of it. Stop trying to save what we all know I'll lose in a few years.
I have the flattest tummy I've had since I had Xuen 18 years ago. But I have no tits left 😮💨🙃
Something to listen too. Completely dark if I can get it. A fan always going (ceiling fan would be great). I always have to get up a couple time a nice because of other meds and such. If I have an edible I usual sleep long before I get up.
A fan! Always. Hubby is a God damn heater I stg. And we've recently been looking at ceiling fan prices. You can get pretty cheap ones these days that are WiFi and rgb lights enabled 😆 I say cheap, but we're the poors and still havent got one yet ahaha
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