Squeek squeeken squeek squeek @sirguineapig - Tumblr Blog

Why is it that old people can be like "oh she got married she's now Mrs. Blegh" but when it ces to transitioning they're all "that's too hard I can't remember!"

Then they have the nerve to call US lazy

Question:

So males and females have different centers of gravity right?

A woman's is closer to their abdomen (for pushing out fresh humans I assume) while males have their located somewhere higher (like chest? Idk)

Now if someone transitions from male to female or female to male does their center of gravity change as well?

#Physiology #questions #science side please explain #biology #transgender #help plz

petapeta

yimra-deactivated20250209

The first part triggers the sleeper cells the second part turns on rage mode for them

not-tumbling

im Not Kidding i am going to Commit A Homicide

sickviking-fr

We as a species are each and every day becoming more creative in the ways with which we destroy eachothers lives.

The only thing body butter does is promote cannibalism.

Thank you

#tw cannabalism #body butter

Why shouldnt birds be around kids?

Because of all the fowl language

#dumb jokes

Fuck orcas

Like seriously.

I'd rather get into a tank with a shark than an orca.

Here's why.

A shark will try to eat you true. But they don't like the taste of humans (unless starving. But then again if you were starving your ass wouldn't be picky either so shhh)

An orca however will just kill you. FOR FUN.

They're the assholes of the water. If a shark sees an orca in their hunting grounds they will ABANDON it for like a year (either up to a year or more than a year I don't remember)

Why? Why do you ask?!

Because sharks have this fucking weird ass feature that if they are turned upside down it forces them into a state of torpor (like hibernation but not)

And the killer fucking Wales have LEARNED THIS AND DO THIS TO THEM ON PURPOSE

Just so they can take a big old bite out of the shark, then just fucking leave.

Be honest if you and your friends went to a house every day to eat and one day you see fucking JEFF there. JEFF who's been known to knock people unconscious then kill them for fun. You know that Jeff. If you saw him there your ass would be like "naw.... Ima leave for a long time. We can eat elsewhere I'm not dealing with that shit"

Moral of the story: stay away from Jeff and sharks need more love cause orcas are serial killers.

#orcas #sharks #Jeff #Assholes of the sea #Need more sharks #Seaworld is harboring fugitives #Murder fish

So my mother has an aunt (we're going to call her Sally cause it's easier then her French name which I can't spell) who used to be a nun.

Sally stopped being a nun.

My grandfather used to love to joke that she was defrocked. (she wasn't she just left {cause that's an option I guess???})

My mom tells me this story before I go into work to do my overnight shift.

I think about this ALL night.

Finally I call my mom at seven am to tell her that Sally wasn't defrocked.

She just had a massive God problem but kicked the habit.

Now my mom isn't talking to me.

#winning

USA elections: severy four yeara

Olympics: every four years

Merge the two

Make the candidates perform in the Olympic games

Who ever wins, wins the presidency

Whether they're American or not.

badjokesbyjeff

You’re riding a horse full speed, there’s a giraffe beside you and you’re being chased by a lion. What do you do?

Get your drunk ass off the carousel.

We have a raccoon.

We've named him chunky

My father is bound and determined to make him his friend

Things bigger than a corgi

We love our giant trash panda

Four door trucks are a weird shape

Birds are majestic as fuck.

Do the flappy thing you feathery assed daredevil

Weird stuff I've noticed working overnight at a grocery store

1. When the radio doesn't work you're automatically transported to post apocalyptic times.

2. Around 630-7am two women will show up and sit in the parking lot. They bring chairs and coffee. And if it's cold one brings a portable heater.

They don't buy anything. Just sit there and watch.

And no they aren't 6ft apart. They sit right next to each other.

We have theories.

3. A man will show up at 945 every night (15 minutes before we close) and buy a banana or something small, hang out in the parking lot for the next THREE HOURS and walk laps around the lot.

We don't know what he's doing. But we've overheard him having an extremely heated argument over the phone about Christianity and what certain bits mean.

We tend to stay away.

4. Raccoons can get drunk off of fermented garbage (mainly fruit) and animal control will tell you to let them sleep it off.

5. Drunk raccoons are hilarious.

6. Coy-wolves are not hilarious and are straight up bastards most of the time

7. Coy-wolves have a tendacy to set off car alarms. Because they're bastards.

8. Drunk people don't know what "closed" means.

Things not to say when someone hands you a baby:

*oh no thank you I already ate

*no no im not doing another sacrifice for you, you can do it yourself

*ah yes. I see the new fleshling

*do you think they bounce?

*last time didn't go so well. Remember little Timmy?!