Why is next

Doug Sheppard (he/him, old enough to despair but trying to remain young enough to hope) is a software engineer, and a writer and improviser when he isn't doing the things that pay the bills.

[milfyspamton]

anyone remember what these things are called like little cartoony expressive doohickies i think they have a real name but i can’t remember

[milfyspamton]

im not fucking crazy.

[milfyspamton]

if i have one more person say sparkles on this post im gonna blow i swear to god

[evengirlierballs]

They're squeans I'm pretty sure! If they pop like that anyway. But the term for this kind of "symbol to refer to the general vibe of something in art" is called "Emanata" because it emanates from a person or object.

[creepymutelilbugger]

what the fuck. comics are magic

[charlesoberonn]

somebody put a quimpsy spurl on my blorbo

[eirapparent]

she quimps on my jarns til I nittles

[sirilyan]

You used to have to CENSORED such things but that’s become obsolete with today’s relaxed taboos.

[sirilyan]

I’m so glad Toronto’s World Cup venue is downtown, because if it was as inaccessible from the city as Meadowlands is from NYC, we’d be in week five of “As A European, I Would Simply Paint A Crosswalk Across The 401” discourse.

[sirilyan]

The name is Moneyball. Birchpoint Moneyball.

[inevitablyuncertain]

VOTE NOW

"even the best pear is just a mid apple"

'you're right #applesquad'

'you're wrong #pearpeople'

Voting ended onMay 24

[inevitablyuncertain]

in my defense, i didn't think more than about 4 people would respond. if you vote for pears, tell me what kind.

[sirilyan]

The worst pear is orders of magnitude worse than the worst apple, and the best pear is orders of magnitude better than the best apple.

Are you going for consistency? Apple o'clock. Swinging for the fences? That fence is firmly in Peartown, comrade.

[theabigailthorn]

I made a Mii of you hope that's alright

hell yeah

i do like mozzarella lemonade and honey!

[strange-aeons]

I'm very tired and briefly considered the possibility that British people enjoy a weird delicacy called "mozzarella lemonade"

[sirilyan]

I heard there was a British drink

Italian cheese and citrus pink

But you don’t care for mozzarella, do you?

It goes like this, the zest, the curd

(Plus another thing, a secret third)

And a shame cube after footage from a Switch 2

[dogpuppy]

[sirilyan]

Tunnel Girl - Wikipedia

[aimerai35mm]

sunlight smile in the hallway // 2025 // shot with minolta riva

[sirilyan]

My Foyer Totoro.

[gouged-doll]

[sirilyan]

Who let the CBC’s old logo have coffee?

[kitchen1]

I wish I took a better pic of this writing in a bar bathroom in toronto bc I think of it so often. Be So Completely Yourself That No One Is Attracted To You Or Wants To Employ You

[lightning-in-your-teeth]

[ID: blurry picture of marker on a wall in all caps that says, "be so completely yourself that no one is attracted to you or wants to employ you." end ID]

[c4bl3fl4m3]

@sirilyan You wouldn't happen to know which bar in T.dot this is in, would you?

[sirilyan]

Sadly I do not. There's a 50% chance I would never be able to find out, really.

[sirilyan]

Arbitrary sudden Star Trek headcanon:

Lower Decks has established that there's a starship class called Parliament-class, which appears to be named after Canadian cities. There's a USS Vancouver and a USS Toronto. The shuttlecraft on the Vancouver are named after Vancouver neighbourhoods like Kitsilano and Marpole.

Obviously, the Toronto has a shuttlecraft named Beach and a shuttlecraft named Beaches, because even in the 2300s that argument is still going on, and Starfleet has decided the only way to win is to not take sides.

(Nobody on board likes either of them. The good shuttle is the Parkdale.)

[sirilyan]

Just gonna walk away from interacting with pseudoscience today, I think. I want today’s motto to be something slightly more positive than “no, I understand the point you think you’re making, I’m simply treating it with the respect it deserves”.

[prokopetz]

The real divide in the Legend of Zelda fandom is the one between folks who'd be perfectly happy to see Princess Zelda leading a mainline title versus folks who specifically want a mainline game featuring girl!Link.

[thefablechronicler]

Why not have both?

[prokopetz]

This is not a framing that has any room for "both". If you're asking for both, you're not one of the people who would be satisfied with simply seeing Zelda get more mainline lead time, so you're in the second bin.

[blind-leading]

Character swap? You play as Zelda going on an adventure to save girl link?

[prokopetz]

Still "specifically want[ing] a mainline game featuring girl!Link".

[mxveewz]

two protagonists. half of the story follows Zelda and the other half follows girl!Link.

[prokopetz]

Still "specifically want[ing] a mainline game featuring girl!Link".

[clubconsent]

A puzzle-solving game where Zelda spends a thirty-hour playtime attempting to parse a straightforward sentence.

[sirilyan]

What does any of this have to do with a lost cat in the Alps?

[lavenderprose]

In my mind, Shane's username is ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer because there is another Shane Hollander who is a forensic anthropologist out of UC Berkeley who got the username ShaneHollander first. Shane's username was originally just ShaneHollander24 but that didn't differentiate between them enough and Shane was waking up once or twice a month to DMs like "Hey Shane my name is CSI Sanders with the Las Vegas crime lab we wanted to get your opinion on this scene in Henderson NV, hope you don't mind got your info from your office out in SF they said this was the best way to contact you" and several dozen images of what is clearly a violently murdered skeleton.

Shane Hollander the anthropologist has a standing invitation to any of the Metros games against the Mission and donates generously to the Irina Foundation every year. Also, he had to deactivate his professional accounts for a few days in 2021. Shane and Ilya sent him an edible arrangement. Ilya wrote "Sorry bone man :(" on the card when Shane wasn't looking.

[sirilyan]

This is a thing that actually happened to me. For a while I would get email and Facebook messages intended for the head coach of an English semi-pro hockey team, because I showed up on searches ahead of him. I hope that people were only half-disappointed they reached a Canadian software guy, because at least I was from a city with a semi-professional hockey team and also the Marlies.

[jv]

Little known??? LITTLE KNOWN????

it’s called “the European Union”. The Mutual Defence clause is fucking part of the European union treaty.

Little known? How the hell me, a fucking rando, have been posting “who needs NATO, we have the EU!” for a year but it looks like no journalist have ever even read about what the fuck the EU is???

[sirilyan]

The Guardian knows as much about Europe as it does about trans people.

Actually, it believes Europe deserves to exist, so really it knows more.

[raccoonmilf]

I don’t have a raccoon daughter because I’m a raccoon biologist. I have a raccoon daughter because I moved to South Africa because I had what I thought was a “prophetic dream” (I had scurvy and also an evil psychiatrist prescribing me the wrong meds) where I was in South Africa and there was billboard with a woman on it in a lab coat holding a red fox and a raccoon that said “Dr Foxy: This Could Be You!” And then in the dream I looked across the street and saw a billboard the said “Come Visit Hooters in South Africa.” And I woke up and was like “I know what I need to do” which was not “go to school to study native wildlife” but instead was “visit Hooters in South Africa.” But I didn’t want to go for just a little while because it was expensive and I didn’t like the idea of the long flight, but I knew I HAD to go to the Hooters in South Africa. So I figured it would be more economical to just go and finish art school there. Except COVID happened and I literally got trapped there and the hooters in the city I moved to had apparently been closed for years and also I got a concussion and when I went to the doctor they said I had scurvy. So I had to do intensive eating treatment where I drank a lot of fruit juice and also learned to eat macaroni that was shapes other than SpongeBob. And after listening to my yapping about raccoons, my therapist, who had never met a raccoon, told me I should get a raccoon to help me keep fresh fruits in the house. And so when I got back to America I found someone trying to get rid of one Facebook because it was apparently evil and bit her toddler and then I did.

And now I’m a raccoon biologist.

[sirilyan]

Look, even knowing we're dealing with @raccoonmilf, I had 0% ability to predict what any next sentence of this post would be.

[sirilyan]

Me, making small talk.

[sirilyan]

They sent people 'round the moon

Who all carried harpoons

'cause if the moon is haunted

You would surely want it

To kill a moon ghost goon