asystolè

represents the cessation of electrical and mechanical activity of the heart

[sistertoxxxic]

"The first time I ever saw a box jellyfish, I was twelve. Our father took us to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I never forgot what he said... That it was the most deadly creature on earth." -seven pounds, will smith

I remember the first time I ever saw you, I remember the day the image of your face planted itself in the back of my mind. I never realized that you'd be the most deadly creature on earth, to me.

-sistertoxxxic

[sistertoxxxic]

each time you leave and come back, the pain of your absence becomes more tolerable. i can't decipher whether i'm becoming used to the emotional rollercoaster, your heinous actions continue to abuse me with, or i'm finally letting go.

as much as i wish i could say "im finally letting go," i can't, without blatantly lying. the hold my heart and mind has on the synthetic love you showed me has groomed me to believe, no one else is capable of loving me the way you did.

.. or didn't.

but my brain continously reminds my heart that it was all fabricated. And then all over again, i'm forgetting about the pain of you leaving and remembering how much it hurt for you to do me the way you did.

-sistertoxxxic

[sistertoxxxic]

note to self, its okay to be alone.

lesson of the day: learn to be alone, without feeling lonely.

-sistertoxxxic

[sistertoxxxic]

You used to make me feel like a garden of flowers, warmed by the sun, and watered by your hand. The bad things tended to as if they were weeds, and the negative people as pests. Nourishing my blossoms with your love, and all you could give. Now it feels like your intentionally pouring toxins upon my petals. You lie in lavish and consume all of my happiness. Stripping me of all my nourishment, as I droop and whither away, you leave nothing. Not even a seed that could have impossibly reincarnated, me, my history, or even a memory of what I used to be. 

However, the thought of losing you leads me to believe it was all my fault. My fault I didn't deflower myself from your garden and form my own.

-sistertoxxxic

[sistertoxxxic]

I allowed a boy to handle my fragile heart. For that, I am at fault. I attempted to love, so ignorantly and blind. Without any knowledge or experience of proper love, I still tried. My fault for trying.

i fell in love with the wrong person, and they ruined it for everyone else.

.. im sorry, my fault for trying

-sistertoxxxic

[sistertoxxxic]

i lie here reminiscing the beauty you fed into my soul through the very tips of your fingers, as they lingered down my spine.

if only i could, just for a second, forget the feeling of your touch blossoming each pore in my skin with your love.

some would call it a dream, for me, this is a nighmare.

-sistertoxxxic