Sketchers (We got tha drip)

hyperfixating on one million bajillion zillion things at every moment all of the time | adult | White boy in post likely but not guaranteed

[sketchygainedyoursoul]

i need to start killing

[one-time-i-dreamt]

This is a lot to unpack

[existennialmemes]

Your cats are not "manipulating" you they are communicating with you. They do not understand why you're limiting their food supply or keeping them indoors or preventing them from ruining your furniture or whatever.

When they meyowl pathetically for more food, it's not because they're trying to "trick" you into feeding them again. They just want to be fed, and they're smart enough to notice the correlation between certain sounds they make and the responses they get from you.

They've figured out that if they want to communicate to you that they want more food, if they make those pathetic sounds, you're more likely to behave as if you've understood what they're trying to communicate.

When your cat waits for you to look away then yoinks food off of your plate, it's not because they love crime. It's because they're social colony creatures who instinctively share food with each other and they don't understand why you're not sharing the best foods with them.

Your cats are very intelligent, social creatures who see you as their Very Strange sibling.

They've learned how to make intricate sounds just to communicate with their humans. When the sounds they make elicit the responses they want, they learn that those sounds are the most effective way to communicate their desires.

Not because they're scheming about how to control you, but because they don't know how to communicate with you any other way.

[candygoop]

old drawing i found but never posted

[philcollinsenjoyer]

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

[aurevoir-mes-amis-deactivated20]

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!

[recycled-soul-deactivated201401]

This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.

[riskpig]

WHAT?

[endangeredslug-deactivated20170]

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

[riskpig]

WHAT?????

[thegrimmlovely]

Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

[willowofthehearth]

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

[mayothefirst]

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook

[eattherich73]

Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still.

[smooththegoofyshark]

WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL

[jehovahhthickness]

This is very true lol

[bundibird]

Yo what the f u c k

[safifonhasstrel]

[archangeltwins]

not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important?????

[thesaltofcarthage]

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.

[midnight-spectrum-again]

What the fuck

[gotterhag]

[panomoly]

i-

….thank you tumblr??

[stankpasta]

hm. 

[krystal-prisms]

I legit thought this was a shitpost until I saw the rest of the comments

[soulvomit]

I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, too.

[wordsaremylife]

Well I never

[digital-magus]

As a general rule of thumb, do not push air into any bodily orifice, regardless of gender. It never ends well. Air compressors and the human body do NOT mix.

Not even the mouth, shit can rupture a lung.

[girlcodedhamlet]

people got mad the last time i said this but you HAVE to stop pretending that people of the past were more intellectual and thoughtful and you need to model yourself after them because modernity pales in comparison. that's nazi shit

[depsidase]

[toastyglow]

the front office at work whenever 3 (three) seconds of rap play on the office pandora, no matter what the lyrics are like: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD SKIP IT SKIP IT SKIP IT IMMEDIATELY IM SO SORRY

the front office at work throughout the entirety of Animals by Maroon 5 or any of the one million country songs about Having Heterosexual Intercourse With Your Straight Wife:

[bransonreese]

[notcaycepollard]

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

[fredfugues]

Honestly I tried to get into Dora the explora but like media is supposed to be escapism for me and she keeps like asking me like wheres this wheres that and tbh its actually really stressful. Im not dealing with that

[fredfugues]

Really?

Nobody’s ever kissed or touched or even looked at me before due to my grotesque visage

[strictlyquadrilateral]

one time i went to the doctor and said "i think i have some sort of damage in my neck from hurting it on a trampoline as a teen" and the doctor said "no you don't." and i said, "well, the day after i hurt my neck, my bioparents tried to make me climb a mountain because they didn't believe i was hurt, and just a few minutes up the mountain i sat down on the side of the trail because i was in so much pain i couldn't keep walking, and they just left me there, and eventually i forced myself to climb the rest of the mountain because i was terrified they were going to legitimately abandon me on the side of the mountain forever. and i'm here today because it just recently occurred to me that when most people say 'i have a crick in my neck' they mean 'i slept funny and now i'm a little sore' and not 'i'm functionally bedbound at the moment due to severe neck pain'." and the doctor said "you have permanent nerve damage in your neck."

[chromaticabrasions]

vape finally burned badddd and i don’t have money for a new one so i guess im quitting vaping again. yay…

[chromaticabrasions]

can u guys send words of encouragement again pls. i need to turn my mind. this is a good thing. this is a good thing for me. it will help me. it might save me…..

[valtsv]

im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice

[valtsv]

like idk how accurate these are but somehow they manage to be both peak shitposting humor and genuinely helpful suggestions

[valtsv]

fuck self-help books and therapy, all i need to make it in life is my trusty Cowboy Tips™

[columbarius]

From observation, another one would seem to be ‘if you have to get off your horse to do it, let someone else take care of it’

[google-searchhistory-official]

"You need to break the time loop. Stop trying to save me. I love you."

[This message has been played 18446744073709551615 times. Would you like to hear it again?]

[bedupolker]

Bumble(bee moth)

[niceinchnails]

real streaming site called 67 movies northern lion

[niceinchnails]

They got servers called ice wizard and hog rider