[skinnyforminny]

I’ve started wearing my Fitbit more often. I went in to check my settings because it was constantly saying my heart rate was high.

I still had my current weight as 180 pounds with a goal of 155.

Ahahahahaahahahhaa.

I just wanna be around 200 again. Let’s start there.

[skinnyforminny]

So.

I’m keeping track of what I’m eating this week. Just to see where I sit calorie wise as a baseline. I’m not worried about macros or anything and I’m not going to go out of my way to eat things I ‘should’ eat. I need a starting point because trying to jump in and say ‘okay I’m only eating 1500 calories a day’ only works for 2-3 days before I’m just so hungry all the time and it’s all I can think about.

My back is in bad shape. I’m making it a point to stretch every day.

I’m starting there and we’ll see what happens.

[skinnyforminny]

I am struggling so, so hard with my body today.

I’m so uncomfortable. I feel like I’m always sweaty. I’m stiff and sore and everything hurts.

Nothing looks good on me or feels comfortable. I want it to be cold enough that I can hide myself in oversized sweatshirts and leggings. It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to be out in public at times. I just want to disappear.

I know what I need to do to fix it, but I am so fucking tired and stressed and overwhelmed, I can’t get myself to start.

[thefandomlesbian]

Gaining weight is not "ruining" your body. Fat people are not "ruined."

[constellatedlove]

if you had a good routine started but now you’re struggling to keep it because you’re feeling lower, adjust it to where you’re at!! if you wanted to make your bed every morning, try just making sure it’s all on the bed. if you went for morning jogs or walks, try a shorter walk or even just some stretches in bed. you can still have routines and things you try to keep up when you’re at a low point, just put less pressure on yourself and fit them to suit the mindset you’re at.

[skinnyforminny]

After just shy of a month on keto, we drank too much Friday which ended with us ordering a pizza at midnight (which honestly probably saved us from muuuuch worse hangovers) which set off an entire day of not keto yesterday and more drinking. And boy am I paying for it. Ugh.

That’s okay though. We just start again today...

And honestly? If this ends up being a once a month occurrence, we’re still better off from when we were doing this weekly.

[skinnyforminny]

I knew this ride was gonna be waaaay too hard for me, but I did it for the music.

Also, I’ve been sticking to keto for three weeks now and I’m down 6 pounds and have been working out 3-4 days a week consistently. Proud of myself.

[skinnyforminny]

Lol remember how I said I wasn’t gonna weigh myself?

Guess which dumb bitch ignored herself and did it anyway?

🙃🙃🙃

[skinnyforminny]

I went shopping and found some clothes that I feel good about myself in. Hopefully this helps in the meantime. I’m not sure why I never thought to shop at plus size stores before- they’re a lot more flattering for me.

[skinnyforminny]

Lol remember how I said I wasn’t gonna weigh myself?

Guess which dumb bitch ignored herself and did it anyway?

🙃🙃🙃

[cumulusthighs]

Slept through the night (aside from a dog throw up incident that set Zane off thinking Raegan needed to go to the emergency vet- she didn’t and she’s fine...) but I’m still achy and a little out of it this morning. Arm/shoulder hurts, obviously, but overall not bad.

I made some carbquik biscuits this morning that turned out pretty well because I’ve been craving carbs the last two days. Today is day 10 of keto and I’m proud of myself because this is the longest I’ve been able to keep at it without interruption. I had some snap memories from 4 years ago that didn’t make me feel great about myself and my keto stick didn’t change color this morning (but those usually don’t for me anyway), so I’m trying to stay positive. We got a scale yesterday but I didn’t weigh myself because I’m not sure I’m ready for that disappointment yet. I’m going to try to cut out fake sugars for a few days and see how I feel.

I’m back in bed now and took some ibuprofen. I hate staying in bed all day, but I know I need to just chill. I’ll probably read a bunch. I suggested that book in the group a bit ago and no one has said anything. I’m worried that I’ll have picked a shitty book. I’m also annoyed that I’m hosting in May but don’t have a deck or even a driveway to have everyone sit outside. Maybe it’ll be rainy.

[skinnyforminny]

Another PR 💫 it really is getting easier...

Also I’ve been eating really good and I’m happy about it. Finally bought a scale, so we’ll find out what I actually weigh...

[skinnyforminny]

So. We made (husband made, I had a seltzer and watched) keto chicken tikka and holy. shit. It was amazing. He made the sauce from scratch so the only carbs come from the tomatoes and we used frozen riced cauliflower and it toooootally works. Usually he’s super picky about low carb subs, but he loved this one!

[skinnyforminny]

Back to back days of PRs 🌟

[skinnyforminny]

Cucumber avocado and goat cheese salad with salmon. I could eat this all day...

[skinnyforminny]

Second time doing a non-beginner ride and I did so much better!

[skinnyforminny]

Keto sushi night! First time attempting konjac/shirataki sushi rice... definitely a different texture but it totally works and I like it better than cauliflower. I am very pleased.

[skinnyforminny]

Alright. We’ve decided to do keto again. He swears he’s gonna try this time and not bitch about it.

I pulled out some summer clothes since it got so warm yesterday and it went about as I expected. Everything is too tight and the one pair of denim shorts I managed to squeeze myself into only lasted for two hours before I had to change. (Side note- where do y’all find borderline plus size shorts that aren’t high waisted?? American Eagle is usually my go to, but I know it’s been harder and harder to find things that don’t come up to my ribs).

My schedule for the next two weeks is all normal people hours, so I’m thinking I’ll be able to get into good habits. The kicker is that I go to mids the last week of April and that’s never good for me...

Anyway. Yeah.