No one knows that Steve wears glasses, he rarely uses them, his parents shelled out for him to have contact lenses, no matter how much he hated using them.
The last time people had seen Steve Harrington with glasses was when he was still a kid.
But with the running around and getting Eddie Munson to his house for safety, his eyes were getting tired. They weren't doing too well after the last two concussions and he was finding the lenses more tiring.
Fuck it, his parents aren't even home, he pushes on his glasses. Steve went back down the stairs to the rest who hadn't moved from his kitchen.
Eddie, leaning against the counter was the first to see him enter. While Steve knew seeing him in glasses was a shock, he was not expecting the full Eddie Munson experience.
"YOU. OH MY GOD. IT WAS YOU. THAT KID, PUFFY HAIR KID!"
Steve's stunned enough he's paused mid step. What the fuck. What kid. He and Eddie have never had a conversation before. Kid? When was the last time he was a…
"Holy shit, oh my god. You. YOU, YOU'RE THE WORM KID."
"What the fuck is going on?" Robin says as she tries to step between them.
Only Steve remembers now, the piles and piles and piles of WORMs that this one kid with buckteeth and so much hair he could barely see his face left for him on everything Steve had.
"YOU GAVE ME FUCKING WORMS. OH my god you traumatised me."
"TRAUMATISED, excuse me, those were GIFTS."
"WHO GIFTS SOMEONE A SHOE FULL OF WORMS."
"I WAS 8 AND STUPID OKAY, YOU DO THAT WHEN YOU HAVE A CRUSH."
Steve blinks.
Blinks again, like Eddie would disappear, an illusion conjured by his tired mind. But no, he's still there, panting, chest heaving and eyes wide with the sudden realisation of his confession.
"Woooow, you said this guy was cool Dustin,"
"Shut up Max."
"What the fuck do you mean crush? Oh my god, Eddie who gives someone a TRUCKLOAD worth of Worms BECAUSE THEY LIKE THEM?"
"I WAS YOUNG AND DUMB OKAY. I liked worms. I thought it was a great idea. I also got into a lot of shit with Wayne 'cause I stole all his bait for you."
"Since when do you wear fucking glasses, Steve?" Dustin cuts in.
Steve sighs. "Nevermind, let's figure this vecna shit out."
They get back to it, only after that Steve and Eddie seem to stand a little closer. "Remembered you were cute in those glasses."
Little Steve Harrington fell out of a tree and broke his arm. At least that's what his mother tells the doctor with fake tears in her eyes when asked. His arm is bundled up in a cast by the prettiest person he's ever seen.
Nurse Munson.
She smiles at him, she makes jokes, she makes him giggle even though his arm hurts.
She gives him a lolipop and tells him he's a good boy, just like her little Eddie.
Steve goes home, to a cold bed and cold house and a new stern maid to watch him when his parents leave.
Little Steve is back at the clinic with a sprained ankle and a little bruise on his head. Playing rough with his friends his mother says.
"What friends?" Steve says when Nurse Munson asks and he wonders why she's surprised. Steve's never had any friends.
Little Steve hates having to visit the clinic, but he loves seeing Nurse Munson. She's the nicest adult he's ever met. Not that he meets many adults outside of his parents and their friends, who ignore him.
She holds him steady as he shakes from the cramps of his tummy ache.
She brushes his hair back gently as he vomits out the head of a toy soldier that Tommy his new friend had made him swallow.
She looks sad as she spies the bruises on his side when he changes his t-shirt.
Steve is reluctant to leave.
Little Steve who gets a teddy from Nurse Munson the next time, a sweet little plush that fits in his pocket. A teddy that Nurse Munson says he can tell anything to. That if he needs, he can call the number on Teddy.
Little Steve who calls that number that night when there is no food in the house.
Little Steve who calls that number anytime he really really needs to and Nurse Munson, call me Ellie, comes and helps him.
Feeds him.
Plays with him.
Talks to him about her son.
Until one day Ellie doesn't answer.
Little Steve who calls again and again and again until a man screams at him to stop calling she's dead.
and Little Steve never calls again.
Big Steve who sees a curly haired kid in high school, taller than him, loud and crazy and angry and thinks Ellie.
Big Steve who falls in line with the jocks and learns that it's not Ellie.
It's Eddie.
and he remembers.
Nurse Munson's little Eddie.
So he keeps the jocks away from him, steers them clear of the only memory of his Ellie.
Steve who almost doesn't save Eddie, who almost loses the last connection he had to a woman who saved his life.
Steve who cries over Eddie's bed in the hospital because he can't lose another Munson. Can't lose Eddie like he lost Ellie. He feels like he's seven and crying at the phone again.
Adult Steve who tells Eddie Munson, after they've curled together in bed as close as skin will let them, how his mother saved his life when he was small.
Adult Steve who isn't afraid to say he didn't fall off trees, that he didn't play rough with kids that didn't exist. That Ellie Munson saved him.
Eddie who cries, for the violence that Steve had suffered and the memory of his mother.
Eddie who hugs Steve tight, who tells him it'll be okay, it will all be okay and that he will tell Steve about her, his mother.
About Nurse Ellie Munson, the woman who gave him that little patch of sunshine.
Adult Steve who visits her grave with Eddie and tells her, that he is happy now, that he still had Teddy, that he had Eddie too and that he is grateful.
Thinking about Dustin after Eddie's gone. Angry. Upset and nowhere for it to go he turns on the brother he still has and in an argument turns around and says "If you'd killed Vecna properly and come back sooner maybe he'd still be alive,"
Steve leaves, without a word.
Disappears for a week.
They're all frantic, and even though none of them blame him, Dustin blames himself, for letting his stupid mouth come first.
Until they're all at the Byers planning a search for Steve and there's a knock.
Dustin opens it to a bloodied Steve, one eye shut bruised to all fuck, and someone slung over his shoulder.
Someone with curly hair and a puffy green vest.
"Went back for the body, found him uh… alive? I think? Did it properly this time," Steve says hoarsely.
Dustin will remember to never say anything shit to Steve again. He'll never give him shit, he'll hug him till he gets sick of it.
Because Steve deserves so much better for how little he gets.
Contrary to what Eddie believes, Wayne isn't a morning person. He's just become one after years of working odd hours. Now he's an all-hours person, he's also a very light sleeper.
This is why one morning in their new two-room trailer, Wayne finds his brain awake at 7am on a Sunday.
There's soft feet padding in the kitchen, he can hear it even from his bedroom. More than one pair of feet dance around on the floor and Wayne rolls onto his side.
Must be Steve.
Eddie's boy.
Sweet kid from what Wayne's seen, always polite, a little silly, a little bite, seems perfect for Ed.
Also the only person who could ever seem to get Eddie up earlier than 10, Wayne still doesn't know how he does it. But the boy's got Eddie up and to it at all the odd hours of the morning and Wayne's just glad Eddie's up at all.
He can hear the pan clank on the stove.
Pancakes then.
Steve's speciality. He smiles, doesn't mind waking up this early if it's to Steve's pancakes. If Eddie doesn't marry the boy Wayne's going to adopt him.
"Eddie!"
There are giggles, and more feet thudding and Wayne thinks, he's never really heard Eddie giggle.
Not like this.
Not like he's in love.
God, they really don't know how to stay quiet, though. There's more rustling and the soft sound of singing. Wayne scrubs his face, throws on the robe Steve had gotten for him last Christmas, and makes his way down the short corridor, only to stop just shy of the kitchen.
It's a tune he's not heard for a little while.
It's not anything Eddie really listens to, not his music, not since his mother. But it's not Eddie who's singing.
It's Steve.
"So this is love,"
Eddie's got his boy plastered to his front, tucked into his arm in a rather close dance pose.
"So this is what makes life divine
I'm all aglow, mm
And now I know (and now I know)
The key to all heaven is mine"
It's soft, it's whispered, they sway as Steve sings and Wayne, he's not sure he should be privy to it, but he's grateful he is.
Steve is scared. For two days. He's felt fear like this before. When Tommy had given him a funny look for looking at a skirt too long, or for not wanting to use fag, or for when Steve leant on him too long.
or around his dad.
He hated the way his belly churned, how his brain wouldn't stop coming up with different scenarios. The upside down was less scary than this. Robin called round once, but he didn't want her to see him, bleeding noes and hiding in fear.
He didn't want her to know.
It would ruin everything, their friendship.
He'd probably ruined it already, by being so stupid, by not thinking before he acted. Maybe if he had thought about it more, he would have seen that kissing Eddie Munson was not the best idea.
Steve curled tighter in his bed.
He thought….
He'd just thought. They were so close. Eddie liked to cuddle, Eddie touched him, so much more than Tommy ever did. Eddie was accepting of the weird and the wonderful.
Of Robin.
Steve sobbed. But not him. Not the kiss. Not them.
He cried.
Cried and cried until he had nothing left, until his face felt dry and his throat hoarse.
Then he got up. He got up and he washed his face, he put the peas from the freezer on his nose and he locked away his heart. It was fine. He would be fine.
Like he always was.
Robin hunted him down the day after, a million and one questions about his nose, but he just told her he walked into the door. Steve didn't want his stupid impulsive action to ruin what they all had, after all Dustin's birthday was tomorrow and he had to be fine.
He was fine.
He and Eddie looked at each other over the crowd at Dustin's, eyes catching one another. Steve feels his heart rate go up, but Dustin is pulling him away, dragging him over to something and he can breathe again.
He could breathe.
As long as he avoided Eddie. He could do that.
It was almost impossible in the small house, but Steve was good at mingling, good at talking to people and as long as he was talking to…
"Hey kid, was lookin' for ya. Got that repair kit you were looking for,"
Wayne. Fuck. Wayne.
Steve's shaking. He doesn't realise it till Wayne's looking at him funny. He liked Wayne, kind man, always talking to him about fixing stuff up, baseball.
He'd thought…
Steve doesn't know what he thought. He'd told Wayne, in the quiet of the night after a game they'd watched.
How he'd always felt a bit different, how he never felt like he fit in any one box and Wayne had said he'd understood. That sometimes love took different forms. That he was glad that he and Eddie had grown close, hasn't seen Eddie look at anyone the way he looks at Steve.
That Steve wasn't alone.
Because someone different had once meant something to Wayne, meant the world to Wayne even though it didn't mean nothing to society.
"Y-yeah. Ill come get it some time Wayne, thanks,"
"Nothing to it kid, you okay? Ya nose is kinda blue,"
Steve twitches, "Nah, it's fine, just walked into a door,"
"Steve,"
Steve whips around so fast he sends the tray of sandwhiches behind him flying. His back is pressed against the wall, body in flight before h can even think about it.
The room is silent.
All he can see are Eddie's eyes. Those big eyes staring back at him. Fear mirrored inside them.
Fear. Why would there be fear, Eddie's not the one who got punched in the face. Steve feels a sudden surge of anger churn his belly.
He needs to leave. Needs to get out of there.
"I have to- I have to go, Dustin sorry," he mumbles as he stumbles out of the house.
Away from the questions.
Away from Eddie.
"Steve wait!"
Steve doesn't.
"Steve please,"
"It's fine. I'm fine. Just let me go. I need to go. I can't. I can't do this right now Eddie. I'm sorry. I'll just.. i'll leave. thanks for not saying anything I guess,"
"Steve no. I- no. I'm saying sorry. I shouldn't have hit you. Even if you're queer."
Steve doesn't know how many times he'll flinch that day. He stares at Eddie who now that he's actually looking at him, looks a mess.
"Even if? Are you fucking serious?"
"No I meant-
"What the fuck?"
They both turn to see Dustin, who's staring at them with huge eyes. Steve's fear returns, a cold icicle in his belly. Fuck. Dustin. Fuck.
But Dustin isn't looking at him. He's looking at Eddie.
"You hit Steve?" Dustin repeats.
"No- "It's not-
"That's what you said. That's what you just said. You hit Steve for being queer,"
Eddie's mouth flaps helplessly.
"Get out. Get the fuck out of my party,"
"Dusty, no, it's fine. It's not like that," Steve tries, doesn't want this to draw a rift any further.
"How else is it Steve? What the fuck else would he mean?" Dustin says, Steve's never heard him so cold. "That's not fucking cool Eddie. I thought you were cool. But you're just another bully,"
Eddie runs.
And Steve watches.
and Wayne curses.
Here <- Previous Part | Next Part -> Here
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Authors Note: this will have a good ending! I'm just trying to dig into that feeling of messed up emotions from being told one thing your life and not processing it properly. Please don't hate Eddie to much, he's going through it.
Eddie wakes up on January 1986 being able to see weird wispy smoke around people's heads. Takes him a few days to realise they're emotions. Sees the bright aurora borealis of colour when he walks into the school, shifting and changing with teenage mood swings.
But once it settles and his vision sharpens, he can pin point the different internal emotions of people.
Only to find several dark spots in the colour. The darkest coming from some unlikely places like Nancy Wheeler, Chrissy Cunningham and that Mayfield skateboard kid.
It's the worst though when he walks into family video and there's just darkness only to be greeted with a chirpy "Hey there how can I help you," from the literal black cloud Steve Harrington.
It takes him by surprise, the sheer misery he's getting from that black smoke in contrast with Harringtons chipper if slightly bitchy attitude.
But as Eddie snipes back at him, slightly flirty because he can't help play gay chicken with jocks and freak them out a little, he's again surprised when a pink little tendril taints the darkness, breaks through it like dawn on a new day.
Eddie comes back every day that he can to make that wisp of pink grow into a cloud.
TW: Angst, internalised homophobia, homophobia, child abuse, a lot of slurs, hurt/comfort (THERE WILL BE COMFORT)
Steve doesn't see Eddie for a week. He hears from Jeff that he's alive, and he knows from Wayne that he's alright. Because even after everything, Steve still cared.
He can't just turn it off, love.
Even when it hurt him. Seemed to be his stupidest skill. Steve Harrington's expertise - loving people in a way that hurt them and himself.
He couldn't just burn away feelings, not when he still saw that smile in his dreams, or the heat of Eddie's shoulder or that smoky purr in his ear.
He'd gone over the time they'd been together over and over and over again. Like he's playing a tape in his mind, like he's an investigator, to find the signs of where he went so wrong.
Maybe it was wrong to kiss Eddie like he did, but it wasn't out of nowhere.
It wasn't like they hadn't spent the whole night fooling around cooking dinner in the kitchen, then eating it in the dim light of Steve's dining room. It wasn't like they hadn't fallen asleep on his bed and then woken up to get breakfast at the diner, singing all Steve's favourite Abba songs badly.
It wasn't as if Eddie hadn't looked him in the eye, held his fucking hand and said "I love you, Steve," in that clearing.
It wasn't -
"Steve you gotta eat something kay? Your biceps are cryign to me," Robin's voice pulls him out of his thoughts.
"Mmm yeah, later maybe, he says as he hefts a box of cleaning stuff out of the cupboard. He can hear Robin behind him, shuffling on her feet, he can feel the way she's holding herself back. Like she wants to snipe at him but won't because she doesn't want to upset him.
Which is so unlike her.
They'd already spent two nights on the roof of his house, talking endlessly about everything and anything and Steve had no more tears to shed for it.
"I just think that maybe, maybe you should follow me to college,"
"Don't I have to go to college to do that,"
"Steve,"
"What Bobby?"
"There are family videos everywhere, I can get you a job at another one. We could get a shitty place in the city and we could explore the world outside Hawkins together you know? See how it's like somewhere else instead of this shitty town,"
Robin reaches for his wrist and Steve recoils just the slightest, a habit from the time Billy had beat his face in and the subsequent punches he'd taken. It was reflex at this point but it never failed to make her face the saddest.
"We could even find more people like us. More places that LIKE us,"
Steve closed his eyes.
It wasn't that he minded the idea. He'd love it. would love to see the world with Robin. Already hates that she's going away, where he can't follow. But he doesn't want to leave the kids. Doesn't want to leave them to a town like Hawkins with no one to look out for them.
"I…
But he also doesn't know how he's going to stay here and see Eddie everyday.
See a love that didn't just call him bullshit drunk. One that he can still feel in his nose, his ears still ringing from the shock.
"I want to but I don't know Rob," he says finally.
She opens her mouth.
But the doorbell interrupts them both.
"Are you expecting anyone?"
"No?"
They both go to the front, side by side.
When Steve opens the door, it's not a stranger that stands there. It's a familiar set of curls.
"Steve. I. Look. I… I don't know how to do this. I've thought about it in half a million different ways, but I can't think of the right way to apologise and so I think it's just best if you punch me,"
"Eddie?" Steve's still unsure if he's hallucinating, because Eddie looks like he's been thrown in a rock tumbler. He looks gaunt and scared and there are bags under his eyes.
Eddie noticing Steve's been bulking up and getting more and more horny over the fact that his shirts don't fit the huge chest he's building till he can't help himself one day and the words "Show us the tits Harrington,"
