why do we keep putting so much time and effort into people who we know will never do the same for us

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why do we keep putting so much time and effort into people who we know will never do the same for us
by Riris
IF U DON’T SHOW ME YOU’RE HAPPY ALL THE TIME I’M LITERALLY GONNA THINK I DON’T MAKE U HAPPY AND IT UPSETS ME TBH BC I THINK UR GETTING SICK OF ME.
brain: u wanna be sad for no reason?
me: ……no
brain: did i hear a yes? can i get a yes???
I forget about the emotional component of ADHD until it smacks me in the face with an embarrassing meltdown
with adhd you’re out there thinking you’re super tired but when you actually lie down it turns out you were just too bored by the situation to keep your brain stimulated enough to stay focused
me trying to cope: it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter it
i should shower soon *lies down for 5 hours*
I’m not really into things? anymore?
Me to my anxiety : can u like calm down these people don’t even think about you Depression : ever Me: that’s not what I meant
executive disfucktion
My emotions are too big and no one understands
it hurts but whatever
my hot take as someone who has experienced the lowest of lows in terms of severe depression and anxiety and executive dysfunction: the whole “not everyone is neurotypical karen” mindset is legitimately damaging and destructive and ultimately will make you feel worse and more isolated
eating well and exercising and etc absolutely helps with mental illness. obviously it’s irritating to hear that when those things feel like impossible tasks, i get that, and i’ve been there. but forcing yourself to eat better, to walk more, to get up out of bed and shower even when you don’t want to, those things help. they clear your head. they make you feel better. they absolutely do. getting there is hard, but once you do it, it does help
rejecting any kind of help, even the most benign suggestion, from someone who is trying their best to think positively for you and shoulder the emotional burden with you, is going to make you feel worse. it’s going to make you feel that much more cut off and lonely and frustrated. i have isolated myself and ruined friendships with people because i chose to close myself off from people who were just trying to help and i convinced myself that they didn’t understand me and no one would ever understand me. what did that get me in the end? genuinely nothing. it made me feel even more alone.
in 2018 i encourage people who suffer like i have to see where people are coming from with cheesy self-care advice. they’re coming from the heart. and sometimes, doing a face mask or taking a hot bath or eating a nutritious meal or getting up to watch the sunrise or even just one yoga class can make you feel that much closer to the person you want to be. a lot of recovery from mental illness is “fake it till you make it” type shit. so don’t reject even the corniest advice because you are convinced it won’t help you. sometimes it really does. and you shouldn’t keep denying yourself even the smallest of victories because you feel like it’s easier to wallow in how bad you feel. it is so difficult to do good things for yourself and your body, but it is so rewarding
the most disheartening feeling is spiraling again after being okay for a while