A journey to be a submissive

discovering my potential as a submissive. well tbh.. I made this account to follow my Master's tumblr. 😂

[skylelis]

My proud tail, a Pandah that loves grooming her tail. A tail that is given by her master. A loving tail. Her tail.

[skylelis]

A good read

[skylelis]

My owner throw a master ball at me, and it's supper effective against this little red Panda. She willingly jump into a ball and become my master property.

[fuckmethroughthesheets]

You can't be obedient only when you feel like it or only when it suits you. If you promise Him your obedience then give Him your obedience. Always.

[pleasesir-mayihaveanother-deact]

It goes both ways. If she lives to obey, you cannot only command when it suits you.

[fuckmethroughthesheets]

You cannot only command when it suits you.

Um, can we have this written up on fucking billboards? There is literally no better way to leave your sub feeling lost, alone, worthless, useless, unwanted…etc. than to run hot and cold and off and on and only be there on the receiving end of their submission some of the time.

Headgames don’t make you interesting or cool or the dark, twisted hero of a romance novel. They make you a fucking asshole. Man up.

The other side of this is absolutely true.

If you promise to guide, protect, command, dominate…etc. then you have to give that to your sub. Always.

[firefly-flashes]

Definitely agree that this goes both ways, but I also think that a lot of this could be cleared up with communication and honesty. 

If you can’t be available  for a period of time (whichever side of the D/s coin you are on) - speak up. Say so. Be honest. Don’t be vague. Don’t just say, “I’m going to be a little busy the next few days.” What does that mean? You won’t be able to text? Call? Skype? Not at all? Or just not as often, or for as long? 

And why not? Please tell me why. Say your best friend is coming in for a visit, or your mom is in town, or you have a big project you have to focus on. Please don’t leave me wondering…because I will assume it’s my fault. Yes, I know assuming the worst is a fault of mine, but if you want me as a submissive, then you probably already knew that and better be able to deal with it.

And please, please, above all else - be honest. Don’t tell me you’r not going to be available and then let me see that you’ve been all over Tumblr or Fet or whatever…but never bothered to send me a message saying “Hey - I caught a little break - do you have time to talk now?” Even if I didn’t see your message in time, I know that I was important to you; that talking to me matters to you. Otherwise, you just reinforced that your social media presence is more important than communication with me. 

See…I understand what it’s like. I’ve been called a “part-time submissive” or told I’m “not really serious about D/s” because I have boundaries. Here’s the thing - I spell them out, up front. If they are deal-breakers, then I’m not the right sub for that person. Period. 

I can’t always be available to do sexy things at the drop of a hat. I have a mundane life that keeps me busier than I like sometimes, and no matter how ruthlessly I organize things, sometimes life gets in the way of the fun things I’d rather be doing. But I’m up front about it, and when it happens, I own it. I’ll give reasons - “Sorry I missed our regular call; I was stuck in a meeting that ran late.” - but I accept that there are consequences for everything, even things that aren’t 100% within my control, because there’s an opportunity to learn from what happened and do better next time. “I’m sorry - I should have called/texted and warned you my meeting might run late. I’ll do that next time so you won’t worry.”

Honesty and communication matter in D/s - hell, they matter in any relationship! And if you can’t give both, then how can you be in control of someone else? And for the flip side - if you can’t communicate honestly, then what is your obedience worth, really? 

As always, please take my opinions for what they are - only my opinions. YMMV.

[instructor144]

Signal boost. Communication and the commitment to show the fuck up, every day.

[asubmissiveview]

This exchange brought tears to my eyes.

[skylelis]

I always tell my Dom how I feels. Even though it hard as fuck. Its not easy to tell how you are feeling exactly especially if you fear of social judgement. Yet, I think it is really important for a sub to tell the Dom how he/she feels exactly. No matter how dirty or shameful. That's how they can deal with it. They aren't mind reader, if you don't tell them, they won't know.

It goes to the Dom too. I understand that sometimes, you have things that you do not want to let your sub know. But please, think about how would they feel. Its not weak to show emotion. Tell them, talk to them. Don't let them second guess their role in your life

[musingsofsubmission]

Equality and Submission

Equal is a funny word. When I talk to people about kink and D/s, I frequently hear the sentiment that “Oh, I want to take charge in the bedroom, but outside I want it to be equal.” I do understand exactly what they mean, but I can’t help but feel like they’ve missed an important tenet in the entire world of power exchange relationships.

And here’s the thing: I too want to be equal to my partner outside the bedroom. Because I am equal to them. They are no better than I for being dominant, and I am no less for being submissive. In fact, I want to be equal to them within the bedroom as well. Because, and you may notice a pattern emerging here, I am equal to them.

But we would have different roles. They lead, I follow. Not blindly, but with an informed decision that I make over and over again. I have goals and wants and dreams, my partner would be aware of them, and they would work to help me reach my goals. So on the one hand, I have control because I’ve built an image of what I want my life to look like, but they have control in that they dictate how I get there.

They would ultimately take the reins and drive. I’ll man the pedals. And in that scenario, we are equal. After all, the car wouldn’t get anywhere without both of our efforts.

[skylelis]

@gingerrelish Master. . I'll make the decision again and again to be your little pandah

[demonhussy]

Prompt Set #206

How important is structure for you in a D/s relationship?

One of the reasons why I gravitate towards a relationship with a D/s dynamic is for the structure. Of course, relationships can still have structure without the D/s dynamic.

But I like submitting to a partner I can trust, and having a particular structure for our relationship involving D/s can feel really nice for me. It helps make me a better partner (and submissive).

I don’t like rigid fences, but I like clearly drawn lines with expectations and stuff. I’m not naturally a particularly disciplined person, I forget things, and I can be very utilitarian with some things, especially with emotions and…human things, I don’t know. I can’t be all one-track minded and utilitarian and emotionally closed off in a significant relationship. At least, not in a healthy one. A clear structure with rules that strengthen healthy behaviour and habits is definitely important to me.

Have your feelings about rules changed since you first realized your submission?

Maybe? I don’t think I had particularly strong feelings either way in the first place. I suppose I don’t think of them as an inherent necessity anymore, but more of something that can help in the relationship, and that I appreciate being given.

Experience has taught me that not all rules are good, and that they’re not just for the submissive.

What is harder for you - too much control exercised by your Dominant partner, or not enough?

I’ve never really had an experience with too much control. It’s possible that there was a lot of control but I just didn’t really notice. I’ve only had the one relationship that was pretty regimented, like I had a formal list of rules and stuff. That didn’t really bother me, not consciously anyway. I did also go through self harm in that relationship and the guy turned out to be a narcissistic manipulative lying emotional abuser.

Let’s say I learnt a lot from that relationship anyhow.

So, I guess it has been harder for me to be in a relationship with not enough control by my partner. I like some freedom and fluidity in my submission and relationship, but I still do better with a collar and leash on, figuratively speaking. I tend to feel lost and stuck in my thoughts really often otherwise, not as engaged in my partner and in the relationship. In other words not a good submissive or partner by any means.

[thatoneguywithkinks-deactivated]

[skylelis]

@gingerrelish Master.. 😍