Everything & Nothing.

Skyler 💜 I'm learning how to set boundaries & have healthy relationships. ✌🏻

[skyrodri22]

My heart is really hurting tonight.

I needed you out of my life, but I don't know how to make my heart understand that I no longer have love to give you.

It just fills my chest, overflowing to my limbs until it's a pressure I can no longer bear. An ache in my whole body that I just have to sit with & breathe through.

I miss you so much, but not the person you became.

I miss the you I knew as kids. I miss her laugh, her humor, and the way we could talk about anything & everything.

I know we've both changed from then, but my kid self misses your kid self, and she's having a hell of a time letting go.

[written-scars]

[adventuresyettobehad]

you cut me out like a cancer. but i wasn’t one.

[grahamoncrack]

seeing pictures of your childhood best friend

after you both grew apart is like

i know the sound of your brothers laughter

but i do not know this girl in this picture

[look-a-diversion]

not to get personal to a bunch of strangers on the getting-personal-to-a-bunch-of-strangers platform, but mourning the end of a friendship you chose to end is a really odd, specific kind of grief.

that thing you saw that made you think of them, who will you send it to?

that trick or skill they taught you, that resource they shared with you, that song they played you that you still like-- they're still part of your life, but now sometimes you feel sad and angry when they come up and wonder if you still have a right to them.

that thing sitting on your desk that you hadn't gotten around to mailing to them, what will you do with it now?

they're not dead. somewhere, they are alive and experiencing all the joys you would have celebrated with them and the pain you would have tried to support them through. they're having a day somewhere and you're not going to ask them how it's going. you're not going to talk about it. you're not going to laugh at those inside jokes you had with only them ever again. you'll never talk to them again. you could, but you can't. you could, but you won't.

it's for the best. you wouldn't have made the choice you did if you didn't sincerely believe that. but still, this strange grief for the living.

where do you put it?

[aqueencomplexx-deactivated20240]

I hope you see the memories of us and your heart aches at each photo.

I hope you think about how today would be if we were still friends.

I hope you imagine what tomorrow would be like if I still came over to your house.

I hope you mourn our dead friendship like I do, because I can't be alone in missing you.

[skyrodri22]

Seely asked about you the other night, not knowing who you were.

We were talking about Nick and I wanted to show him a picture. Then he wanted to look at the other pictures I have on Facebook. He found one from your birthday, holding a balloon. He said, "Is this my aunt?" And I said "No." "Who is she?" "She used to be my friend, but we're not really friends anymore."

I miss you. Every day.

[skyrodri22]

Been a hot minute since I've been on here. So much has changed in the last couple years, and 2022 was fucking hard on me. It also had a lot of growth & healing for me, which I plan to continue into the next year.

Anyway, here's my family now. These were taken during the summer, but yeah, I've got 2 cutie pies now. 😁🥰

[skyrodri22]

I deleted & blocked my old "friend" on all social media sites today.

I had done it on Instagram & Snapchat awhile ago, but today - just a few minutes ago actually - I did it on Facebook.

I have had so much anxiety about it, but it needed to be done. She's toxic and I feel very attached to her because we've been friends since we were kids. She's made a lot of poor choices though, and never seemed even remotely interested in my life after all I did to help her. I feel like she was just using me - looking back on it anyway. At the time, I thought we were friends and I was helping a friend.

I can't change her, and that's okay. I've been distancing myself from her for awhile, I just needed the courage to cut her off completely because I was still checking up on her every so often. I feel very relaxed & clear headed tonight. It was now or never. 🤷‍♀️

I wish her the very best in life, I just can't be part of it or witness it anymore. 💜

And that's on taking steps towards self love & healing. ✌🏻

[skyrodri22]

Hi, hello lovely people.

I know I haven't been on here in a very long time.

To catch you up, my husband & I have a 20 month old son and we're thinking about trying for our next baby soon. 😊

We also just moved in July, so that's been an adventure.

If you want to keep up with me & my family better, I try to post on Instagram & TikTok somewhat regularly.

My username is skyrodriguez22 on both apps!

Hope everyone is doing well & staying safe. 💜

[skyrodri22]

6/29/2020

Today is the day. First day of getting off my birth control.

I have mixed feelings. David & I have been planning for this day for awhile now. I'm worried about the pandemic though and if it's irresponsible to get pregnant on purpose during it. I'm also worried about PCOS; will my body react poorly to stopping birth control and start making too much testosterone again?

Plus we're moving again, and I'm trying to go back to school so that I can apply for nursing school. Not to mention, pregnancy sucks and I'll have to go through it while also taking care of a toddler. 😅

This is the plan for now:

Stop birth control

Start tracking bbt & cycle

Ntnp for at least 3 months

Determine if intervention may be required again - go from there

I'm excited but I'm also freaking out. 😆

[skyrodri22]

I'm feeling lonely.

I have turned into a trash human that sucks at reaching out to people and responding when others reach out to me.

I have unintentionally isolated myself, and quarantine made it worse.

How do I find friends? How do I make meaningful connections? I see all these people who have their friends over all the time or constantly hang out with them. How do i find people like that?

Can a group of friends please adopt me?

I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm trying to make friends, but it's not clicking.

I'm tired and sad and I just wish I had people that understood my soul. 😔

[skyrodri22]

Let’s talk about sex, baby

I barely want to have any.

Keep reading

[skyrodri22]

2020 Update:

I still don't want to have sex as often as my husband (because his sex drive is through the motherfucking roof), but I'm finally coming around to enjoying it again.

We started scheduled sex again, and then I switched birth control and we went back to using condoms as well. TMI - sorry! - but he lasts longer now and we've done a lot of exploring & discovering of my body in the last year, and sex actually feels great and I can enjoy myself now. Sometimes I still feel a little rushed, but it's a lot better.

Just wanted to post this for myself. I did a lot of work to let go of guilt & anxiety, and we did a lot of work to get us to this place, and I'm proud of it. Things can change! Things will change, especially when you work on them.

[demichii]

ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ོ its freakin bats ོ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ོ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ོ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ

[thepersonalquotes]

[swiftstation]

(1/2) “This album is a love letter to love itself – all the captivating, spellbinding, maddening, devastating red, blue, gray, golden aspects of it”

[thepersonalquotes]