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Stray Kids
ot8
you ask them to watch a horror movie (smau)
Bang Chan
Personal Assistant (smau)
- part one
- part two
- part three
- part four
Do You Remember? (written)
Wish It Were You (smau)
- part one
- part two
- part three
Lee Know
Escape Artist (smau)
- part one
- part two
- part three
- part four
against the wall (written drabble; explicit)
Sweet Spot (ft. Han; written; explicit)
Changbin
You'll Know It When You Feel It (written + smau)
Downpour (written)
HAN
The Gravity of the Planets (written; explicit)
Sweet Spot (ft. Lee Know; written; explicit)
Seungmin
Afterparty (written)
Oblivious (smau)
- part two (smau)
I.N
The Professionals (smau)
- part one
- part two
- part three
- part four
- part five
Too Close (written; explicit)
— spiderman!han jisung x black cat!fem reader in which, new threats rise across seoul as spider man tries to keep the city safe, but his attention is captured by a certain cat burglar with secrets of her own. as their paths intertwine, jisung and y/n discover that even heroes and thieves can share something unexpectedly real.
content warning: this fic includes detailed nsfw scenes that may be too much for some readers. includes penetrative sex, mention of blood and wound, frenemies to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn, soft love making, pinv, oral (f!receiving), multiple orgasm, intense make out session, and other scenes that might be uncomfortable for some readers. please consume what you can, and separate fiction from reality. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
a/n: As you all guys know, this very prompt is from @skzcodered <333 It took me awhile to finished it ack- I almost hit the wall but I DID IT!!!! SPIDERHAN IS HERE AND I HOPE SHE LOVES THIS ONE, and of course I hope you guys enjoy reading this. Let me know your thoughts <333
word count: 7.6k words
The night air in Seoul thrummed with the distant pulse of neon lights and endless traffic far below. You balanced gracefully on the edge of the glittering corporate tower, the cool breeze tugging at the sleek black suit that hugged every curve of your body like a liquid shadow. Silver claw accents gleamed under the moonlight as you tucked the stolen diamond necklace safely against your chest, still warm from the penthouse safe you'd cracked open just minutes ago.
Another flawless score for Black Cat.
You were about to disappear into the night when a familiar voice cut through the silence, laced with that signature playful arrogance.
"Fancy seeing you here, Kitty."
You didn't even flinch.
From above, Spider-Man dropped down in a smooth arc, landing lightly on the ledge just a few feet away. His red-and-black suit clung to his lean, athletic frame, the large white spider emblem bold across his chest. The white lenses of his mask narrowed in mock disapproval, but you could practically hear the grin behind them.
"That necklace doesn't exactly match your usual aesthetic," he teased, tilting his head. "Hand it over."
You turned slowly to face him, a smirk curling on your lips beneath your own mask. The city lights painted both of you in shifting hues of blue and pink as you straightened up, rolling your shoulders with feline grace.
"And here I thought you'd finally learned to mind your own business, Spidey," you purred, voice smooth and teasing. "Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude to crash a girl's private party?"
He chuckled, the sound low and warm even through the mask. "Only when the girl in question keeps stealing things that don't belong to her." He took one graceful step closer, head cocked. "C'mon, Black Cat. Don't make me chase you again. You know how much I enjoy it."
The tension between you crackled like electricity in the night air, familiar, dangerous, and undeniably thrilling.
You let out a soft, mischievous giggle that danced through the night air, the sound light and taunting. You took a few graceful steps backward until the heels of your boots were right at the very edge of the rooftop. The vast city sprawled endlessly behind you, a glittering sea of lights and concrete far below.
With your back to the dizzying drop, you tilted your head, eyes gleaming with playful challenge beneath your mask.
"Catch me, Spidey!" you purred, voice dripping with sweetness.
Then, without hesitation, you let yourself fall.
You tipped backwards off the ledge, arms spread like wings as gravity claimed you. The wind rushed violently past your ears, whipping your hair as you plummeted through the cool night air. For a split second, the world became a thrilling blur of neon and stars.
A heartbeat later, you heard his familiar shout, half exasperated, half exhilarated.
"Seriously!? Again!?"
The wind roared past you as you dropped through the open air. Seconds later, you heard Spider-Man's familiar shout as he dove after you like a crimson bullet.
"Got you-!"
He reached out with both arms, ready to catch you against his chest. At the very last moment, you twisted your body with feline grace, spinning mid-air like a black shadow. His fingers barely brushed your suit before you slipped through his grasp.
You fired your grappling claw towards the opposite building, swinging yourself smoothly onto an open balcony on a lower floor. The landing was silent and perfect.
Spider-Man was left soaring past you, still carried by his momentum through the night sky. He quickly shot a web and swung back around, landing on the railing of the balcony you were standing on.
You turned to face him, mask hiding your smirk. The city lights painted your figure in shades of violet and silver as you gave him the sweetest, most innocent smile.
"Till next time, Spider-Man," you purred softly, voice full of playful promise.
Before he could lunge forward, you blew him a teasing kiss, turned on your heel, and disappeared into the dark hallway of the building like smoke, silent, graceful, and completely untouchable. Just like the black cat you were.
Spider-Man stood frozen on the railing for a moment, staring at the empty space where you had just been. He let out a long, amused sigh and shook his head, a reluctant laugh escaping him.
He was about to swing away when something small and glossy on the floor caught his attention.
A tube of red lipstick.
He raised an eyebrow beneath his mask, a faint, amused smile forming on his lips as he crouched down and picked it up. The lipstick was elegant, sleek black casing with a silver accent. He turned it over in his fingers, still slightly warm.
A soft chuckle escaped him. "Now, that's interesting." he murmured, amused. "I shall hold this thing for you for now, Kitty."
He knew you well enough to understand this wasn't intentional. You were always precise, always in control. The fact that your lipstick had fallen without you realizing it made the discovery feel strangely intimate.
He popped the cap open for a moment, staring at the bold red shade before closing it again. With a small smirk, he tucked the lipstick safely into a hidden pocket on his suit.
He shot a web towards the next building and launched himself back into the night sky, the city lights blurring around him. Even as he swung through Seoul, the faint smile never left his face.
Meanwhile, several buildings away, you moved silently across rooftops, completely unaware that you had left a small trace of yourself behind.
--
"Well, this is new," Jisung drawled, leaning back in his chair with a lazy grin. "Never thought the ever-so-punctual Y/N could be late to class too."
You rolled your eyes and let out a heavy sigh the moment you heard his voice. Of all days, he just had to be your seatmate today. It wasn't that you hated him, really. Far from it-but your morning had already been a disaster, and the last thing you needed was his teasing.
"Don't start," you muttered, dropping into the chair beside him with more force than necessary. You shoved your bag under the desk and ran a hand through your slightly messy hair, still feeling irritated.
Jisung tilted his head, studying your face with open curiosity. His playful smile didn't fade even a little.
"Rough morning?" he asked, voice softer this time, though the teasing glint in his eyes remained.
"Worst," you replied flatly, exhaling through your nose as you slumped forward, resting your chin against your palm on the desk.
Jisung turned in his seat to face you properly, his usual playful expression softening a little.
"I could tell," he said. "You barely wore any makeup today. Woke up late?"
You shook your head.
"I spent the entire morning looking for my favorite lipstick," you grumbled. "The red one I always wear. I swear I left it on my desk last night but I couldn't find it anywhere. Had to leave the house bare-faced because of it."
"Oh, yikes," Jisung said, trying his best to sound genuinely sympathetic. "That sucks. You really like that one, right?"
"Yeah," you sighed, clearly still annoyed. "Now I feel weirdly naked without it."
Jisung leaned his cheek against his hand, watching you with a small, comforting smile
"Well, you still look pretty even without it," he said casually, then quickly added with a teasing grin, "-but I get it. Girl things are important."
You let out a small huff, somewhere between annoyed and amused, and gently bumped his arm with your elbow.
"Shut up."
Just as you were about to reply, the classroom door opened and Professor Kim walked in, looking slightly hurried.
"Morning, class. Let's jump right in," he said, setting his laptop on the desk. "We're starting a major project today. It will count for 35% of your final grade."
He projected the assignment on the screen. The title read: "Innovative Solutions in Environmental Science."
"You'll be working in pairs. The task is to choose a real-world environmental problem, conduct research, design a scientific solution or prototype, and present your findings with supporting data. This includes literature review, methodology, and experimental design."
A wave of murmurs and a few groans filled the room. Professor Kim smiled . "And I've already assigned the pairs randomly."
He began reading from his list. When he reached your name, your stomach dropped slightly.
"Y/N..." he paused, "and Han Jisung."
You slowly turned your head towards Jisung. He was already looking at you with a bright, cheeky grin, clearly entertained by his luck.
"No way," he whispered, leaning closer. You let out a long, tired sigh and dropped your forehead onto the desk.
"How unlucky." you mumbled.
Jisung chuckled softly, nudging your arm playfully.
"Hey, don't sound so heartbroken. I'm actually really good at science, you know," he teased. "Plus, now I have to help you find that missing lipstick. Can't have my project partner in a bad mood the whole time."
You turned your head on the desk to glare at him with one eye. He just smiled wider, looking far too happy about this arrangement.
"Partners?" he asked, holding out his hand.
You stared at his hand for a second before reluctantly giving him a weak high-five.
"...Partners," you groaned.
The weekend arrived wrapped in velvet darkness.You moved like liquid shadow across the rooftops of Seoul's most exclusive district. The cool night wind pressed against your sleek black suit as you slipped in and out of the heavily guarded mansion. Minutes later, the 637-carat diamond necklace rested heavily against your chest, its weight warm and satisfying.You were perched on the edge of a tall glass building when his voice rang out behind you, smooth and teasing.
"Stealing from corrupt politicians now, Kitty? That's bold, even for you."
You turned with a smirk, silver claws glinting under the moonlight. Spider-Man stood on the adjacent rooftop, his red-and-black suit glowing against the neon cityscape, the white spider emblem bold across his chest.
You let out a soft, playful laugh. "What can I say? I have excellent taste," you purred, tilting your head. "Besides, this necklace would look much better decorating my neck than his greasy one. Don't you agree, Spidey?"
He took a graceful step closer, head tilted in amusement.
"I'd say it would look even better in a museum. Or better yet..." His mask lenses narrowed playfully, "in my hand after I catch you."
You grinned beneath your mask and took a few steps back, muscles coiled like a spring.
"Then come and get it," you challenged sweetly. Without another word, you spun and leapt off the building. The chase began. You soared through the night, landing lightly on the next rooftop before immediately jumping again. Spider-Man was right behind you, swinging gracefully from building to building with powerful webs.
"You're getting slower, Kitty!" he called out mid-swing, voice full of teasing affection. "Or maybe you just like it when I chase you?"
You landed on a narrow glass ledge and shot him a sultry look over your shoulder. "Maybe I do," you replied flirtatiously, voice carrying through the wind. "It's cute watching you try so hard to keep up with me."
He laughed—bright and warm—as he swung closer. "Cute? I'll show you cute when I finally catch you and pin you against a wall."
Your laughter rang out like bells as you leapt to the next building, heart racing with thrill. You glanced back at him, eyes sparkling with challenge.
"Promises, promises, Spider-Boy. You've been saying that for months, yet here I am... still one step ahead."
The two of you danced across the Seoul skyline, a dangerous, flirtatious game of cat and spider. Every jump, every swing, every teasing word crackled with electricity between you. But in the middle of a particularly daring leap to a lower rooftop, you miscalculated.
Your hand slipped on the wet concrete edge. A sharp cry escaped your lips as pain tore through your right palm. You landed hard, rolling across the rooftop, warm blood instantly soaking through your glove.You clutched your injured hand to your chest, teeth gritted against the burning pain.
Spider-Man landed a few meters away, concern flashing in his lenses. "Kitty—?!"
Before he could reach you, you forced yourself up and fired your grappling claw, swinging away into the darkness once more. You disappeared between two buildings like a shadow swallowed by night. Even wounded, you still escaped.
--
The image of you—Black Cat— clutching your bleeding hand refused to leave Jisung's mind. All week long, he kept replaying that moment, the sharp cry you tried to hide, the way you still forced yourself to keep running despite the injury. Every night he swung through the city, hoping to catch even a glimpse of you, just to make sure you were okay. But you hadn't appeared again.
Even now, as he stood in front of his closet on Saturday afternoon, Jisung was still distracted.
"Shit..." he muttered, running a hand through his messy hair. He had spent the entire week half-present. During lectures, during practice, even while hanging out with the guys, his thoughts kept drifting back to you. The flirty, untouchable Black Cat who always slipped through his fingers. The same girl who got hurt because he had been chasing her too aggressively.
A heavy sigh left his lips as he finally grabbed a simple black hoodie and threw it on. It was only when his phone buzzed with a new message that reality hit him like a truck.
You: Hey, are you still coming over today? It's already 2:30 pm.
Jisung blinked at the screen, eyes widening in panic.
"Fuck. It's already Saturday?" He had completely lost track of time. The project meeting with you had completely slipped his mind. He quickly typed back.
Jisung: Shit sorry!! I'm on my way right now. Give me 15 minutes.
Grabbing his bag and notebook, Jisung rushed out of the dorm, still mentally distracted. Even as he walked toward your apartment, his thoughts kept circling back to Black Cat.
Is her hand okay? Did she patch it up properly? Why the hell do I even care this much...?
He shook his head, trying to push the thoughts away as he finally reached your building. He took a deep breath before pressing the doorbell to your unit.When you opened the door, Jisung offered an apologetic smile, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Hey... sorry I'm late. I kind of... lost track of time."
You raised an eyebrow, noticing how slightly disheveled he looked. He seemed more distracted than usual.
Jisung stepped inside your apartment, still trying to shake off the fog in his head. He was about to apologize again for being late when his eyes casually swept over you, and then froze. Your right hand was wrapped in a medical cast. His eyebrows furrowed deeply, concern flashing across his face. The playful, distracted expression he wore just seconds ago completely vanished.
"What happened to your hand?" he asked, voice suddenly serious. He took a small step closer, eyes locked on the white cast. "That looks pretty bad... Did you get into an accident?"
You shrugged, trying to play it off casually. "It's nothing serious. I just slipped and fell the other night. Landed on it wrong."
But Jisung wasn't convinced. His gaze lingered on the cast a second longer, and suddenly, his mind violently flashed back to that night.
Black Cat.
The way she had cried out in pain mid-jump. The way she clutched her right hand to her chest before disappearing into the shadows. The blood he had seen glistening under the moonlight.
His stomach twisted.
No... It can't be.
That's when Jisung remembered something. He dropped his bag on the floor beside the couch and crouched down to rummage through it.
"Is this yours?" he asked, pulling out a familiar sleek black tube with silver accents and held it up.
Your eyes widened the second you saw it. Without thinking, you lunged forward and snatched the lipstick out of his hand in a panic, clutching it tightly against your chest.
"Where did you get this?!" you asked sharply, voice a little too high.
Jisung blinked at your sudden reaction, slightly taken aback. "I found it on the floor in the hallway outside the lecture hall last week,"
You stared at him, heart hammering wildly in your chest. Your fingers tightened around the lipstick like it was a lifeline. For a split second, a wave of paranoia washed over you. Did he know? Could he possibly suspect anything?
Jisung tilted his head, watching your reaction with curious eyes. He noticed how tense you suddenly became, how tightly you were gripping the lipstick.
And then... the pieces started clicking together in his mind. The right hand injury, exactly where Black Cat had hurt herself that night. The same red lipstick he had picked up after she disappeared. The way you just panicked the moment he showed it to you.
No way...
He tried to push the thought away, but it kept growing louder. Jisung felt his heartbeat pick up. "You okay?" Jisung asked, forcing his voice to stay light even though his mind was spiraling. "You look really pale all of a sudden."
You quickly slipped the lipstick into your pocket and tried to act normal. "Yeah... I'm fine. Just surprised you found it. Thanks."
Jisung smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes this time. His gaze lingered on your cast once more.
"Then I guess I'm glad I kept it for you."
--
The next few weeks blurred into a tense routine. On weekdays, you and Jisung met at the library to finish the remaining sections of their research paper, the deadline now looming just a month away. The quiet corner they had once claimed felt smaller each time, the air thicker with everything unsaid.
Conversations stayed painfully polite—short exchanges about citations, methodology, and formatting. Every sentence was measured. Every glance carefully guarded. You both walked on eggshells, hyper-aware that a single slip, a careless word, or an unguarded expression could unravel the fragile secrets you'd both been hiding for so long.
Yet the nights told a different story.
Jisung's suspicions had grown into a storm he could no longer ignore. Every weekend, after parting ways with Black Cat beneath the city lights, he would see you the next morning bearing fresh marks of the battles they had fought together.
A vicious slash across Black Cat's cheek became a thin band-aid on your face by Monday morning. A deliberate trip in a narrow alley—one he had staged to test his theory—left you limping into the library the following day, your steps stiff and uneven. Each minor injury he inflicted on Black Cat, even though guilt twisted in his chest every time, appeared on your body like an undeniable signature.
He hated himself for it. But the evidence kept piling up, too consistent to be coincidence. The way you winced when you reached for a book. The fresh bruise on your wrist that matched the one he'd left on Black Cat's. The way your eyes would flicker with quiet panic whenever his gaze lingered too long on your injuries.
The more he tested the connection, the more certain he became.
Jisung made up his mind. Tonight, everything would end, one way or another. He knew about the ruby. He had overheard you muttering about it during one of your late-night rooftop conversations as Black Cat. The legendary Crimson Heart, a blood-red gem recently "donated" by a reclusive billionaire to the City Museum of Antiquities. The official story was polished and perfect. You both knew better. The ruby was stolen, another glittering piece of corruption hidden behind glass and security lasers.
He didn't plan to stop the heist. He planned to confront you in the middle of it. As Spiderman, he swung through the rain-slicked streets, heart pounding harder than it had in months. The cool night air did nothing to calm the storm inside him. Part of him still desperately hoped he was wrong. That the girl who sat beside him during classes, the one who never backed down when it comes to bickering with him wasn't the same person who danced across rooftops with him as Black Cat. That the consequences hadn't bound their fates together in such a cruel, intimate way. But deep down, he already knew.
"I knew you'd be here."
Your head snapped toward the voice, heart jolting in your chest. There he stood—Spiderman—perched at the far edge of the opposite rooftop, silhouetted against the glittering city skyline. The red and blue of his suit caught the moonlight, making him look almost unreal.
"Spidey," you mused, a playful lilt curving your lips beneath the mask. You tilted your head, letting the teasing tone drip like honey. "You're always where I am. At this rate, I might start thinking you've already fallen for me."
A low chuckle rumbled from Spiderman's chest, the sound surprisingly soft against the steady patter of rain. With a graceful flick of his wrist, he swung forward, landing just a few steps closer on the same rooftop.
Your body tensed instantly, every instinct screaming at you to stay alert.
"Hm?" He tilted his head, voice laced with something unreadable. "Why are you stepping away from me?" He took another slow step forward, rain sliding down the sleek surface of his suit like liquid shadows. "Don't tell me you're suddenly afraid of me."
Your stomach dropped. You forced out a soft, disbelieving laugh, trying to cling to your usual playful confidence. "Me? Afraid of you?" You took another careful step back, the edge of the rooftop now much closer than you liked. "Oh, Spidey..."
But every time he moved forward, you mirrored him with a step back. Your heart hammered wildly against your ribs, loud enough that you wondered if he could hear it through the rain. A nervous gulp betrayed you as your fingers twitched, ready to summon your claws at any moment.
"Y/N."
Your breath hitched sharply, the sound catching in your throat like a blade. The world seemed to tilt for a second. He had said your name with quiet certainty, as if it belonged on his tongue.
He knows. He fucking knows who you are. Ice-cold panic flooded your veins. How? When? Who the hell was he beneath that mask?
You forced a breathless, disbelieving laugh, taking another instinctive step back. "Who are you calling Y/N?" Your voice came out sharper than intended, laced with defensive edge. "You've got the wrong person, Spiderman."
"I wouldn't say a name if I wasn't confident about who you are. I know you're exactly who I think you are."
You pressed your lips together, your grip tightening around the jewel hidden behind your back. A nervous laugh almost escaped you, but you swallowed it down.
"I think all this chasing has been giving you the wrong idea," you said, shaking your head lightly. "I'm sorry, but I think we should end this here. This—"
The rest of your sentence got stuck in your throat.
A rustling sound came from him. At first, you thought he was simply shifting his weight, but then your eyes caught the movement of his hands rising toward his mask. Your brows furrowed in confusion. For a second, you could only stare as his fingers hooked beneath the fabric.
Wait. What was he doing?
Your heart skipped a beat. Slowly, he pulled the mask away from his face. The moment the fabric fell, your entire body went still.
Brown eyes met yours. Warm, familiar brown eyes. Your breath caught as your mind scrambled to make sense of what you were seeing. The face in front of you was one you knew. One you had seen countless times before. Without his usual glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, he looked different enough to throw you off for a second, but not different enough to hide who he was.
Han Jisung.
The name echoed in your head as you stared at him, unable to look away. Out of everyone, every single person, you could have expected to find beneath that mask, Han Jisung had never once crossed your mind.
"Jisung..." you breathed, the name slipping from your lips before you could stop it.
Of course he heard. He was Spiderman, after all.
The moment his eyes met yours, panic surged through your chest. "I'm sorry—I need to go."
You didn't give him a chance to respond. Before he could say anything, you turned and leaped away, putting as much distance between the two of you as possible. The wind rushed past your ears, but it did little to quiet the frantic thoughts racing through your head.
Han Jisung was Spiderman.
No matter how many times you repeated it to yourself, it still didn't feel real. Your heart wouldn't stop pounding, a mixture of shock and nervousness making it difficult to think straight. How were you supposed to face him now? How were you supposed to sit beside from him, talk to him, and pretend everything was normal after learning something like this?
The more you thought about it, the more your head spun.
The person you had spent months pining after, wondering about, chasing after without even realizing it, turned out to be someone who had been right beside you the entire time. Someone you laughed with, talked to, and saw almost every day.
You landed on a quiet rooftop far away from the city's glowing center and pulled your mask off, breathing hard. Your hands were trembling. It should have made things easier. Instead, it only made everything more complicated.
You couldn't wrap your head around it. Every conversation you'd ever had with him suddenly felt different, taking on a meaning you hadn't noticed before. Moments you once brushed off kept replaying in your mind, making you wonder how you had missed something so obvious.
That revelation alone was enough to keep you awake for nights, staring at your ceiling while the same thought circled endlessly through your mind.
The following weeks became a careful game of avoidance. Whenever Jisung tried to approach you after class, you'd suddenly remember something you forgot and rush off in the opposite direction.
Thankfully, the two of you had worked so efficiently that you finished most of the project ahead of schedule. There was no real reason for the two of you to meet anymore. That made avoiding him easier.
But Jisung was nothing if not persistent. He was determined. The questions in his head had grown too loud to ignore. He needed to hear the truth from your mouth. He needed to know if the girl he sat next to every week, the one who rolled her eyes at his jokes and snatched her lipstick in panic, was really the same person who made his heart race every night on the rooftops.
So on Thursday evening, without warning, he stood in front of your dorm room. He took a deep breath and knocked.
You were lounging on the couch in oversized clothes, hair messy, scrolling through your phone when the knock came. Thinking it was your roommate's boyfriend (who always came over unannounced), you didn't even bother checking.
"Coming!" you called out lazily.
You opened the door without a second thought. And froze.
Jisung stood there, hands in his hoodie pocket, looking unusually serious. His eyes met yours with an intensity that made your stomach drop.
Without thinking, you moved to slam the door shut. But Jisung was faster. His arm shot out with surprising speed and strength, his palm slapping against the door just before it could close. The impact made the wood rattle. You pushed harder, but it barely budged, his arm was unyielding, muscles tense under his sleeve.
"Wait—" His voice was firm, but not aggressive. "Don't close the door. Please."
You stared at him, breathing heavily painfully aware of how close you two are now, only inches away from yours. You could see the conflict in his eyes, the mixture of confusion, determination, and something softer.
"I'm not leaving until we talk," he said quietly, still holding the door open with surprising ease. "You've been avoiding me all week. Running away every time I try to get close to you. Just like how she always run away from me."
You chewed on your lower lip. Your eyebrows furrowing, whispering to yourself and praying to all the Gods and Goddesses you know that he should not asked that question.
"Is it you, Y/n? You're Black Cat, aren't you?"
With a sharp, frustrated exhale, you grabbed the front of his hoodie with your uninjured hand and yanked him inside the dorm before anyone could see him. Jisung stumbled slightly but didn't resist as you pulled him straight through the living room and into your bedroom, shutting the door behind you with a firm click.
The moment the door closed, you let go of him and took a step back, breathing heavily. The cast on your right hand suddenly felt like a glaring beacon between you two.
"What do you even want from me?" you snapped, voice sharper than you intended. "If you're looking for all the jewels I've stolen, none of them are here. I don't keep that stuff. I don't know what else you want me to say."
You took a shaky breath, eyes burning with a volatile mix of defiance and vulnerability as you glared at him.
"Sure, I'm Black Cat. And what about it?" Your voice cracked slightly. "Are you here to arrest me?"
Jisung stood near the center of your room, looking strangely out of place among your things. His eyes slowly drifted across your space. The neatly organized desk, the black hoodie hanging on the back of your chair, the faint scent of your perfume lingering in the air, before finally settling back on you.
He didn't speak right away.
The silence stretched between you, heavy and electric. You could see the storm of emotions behind his eyes. Shock, confusion, something else.
"I'm not here to arrest you," he said finally, his voice low and steady. "I'm not here as Spiderman right now."
He took one careful step closer, then stopped when he saw you tense up. "I just..." He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. "I've spent the last week losing my mind trying to connect the dots. The injury on your hand, the lipstick, the way you move, the way you talk when we're on the rooftops... And then I realized it was you. The girl who sits next to me in class. The girl who rolls her eyes at my stupid jokes but still smiles when she thinks I'm not looking." Jisung's voice softened, almost pained.
"So yeah... I know you're Black Cat. But I'm not here to take you in or demand answers about what you've stolen." He looked straight into your eyes, vulnerable in a way you'd never seen from him before, not as Jisung, and certainly not as Spiderman.
"I'm here because I can't stop thinking about you. The real you. Both versions of you."
He swallowed hard, voice dropping to a near whisper. "So tell me... was any of it real? The flirting? The tension? Or was I just some game to you?" The air in your room felt impossibly thick as you stood there, back pressed against the door, heart racing wildly in your chest.
"Don't tell me you've seriously fallen for my other persona?" you said, forcing your voice to stay firm even as your heart threatened to beat out of your chest. "You must be losing your head if that's the case."
You tried to sound cold. Detached. You needed him to believe that this—whatever this was—could never work. You were a thief who lived in the shadows. He was a hero who protected the light. Nothing good ever came from crossing that line. You knew that better than anyone.
But Jisung didn't back away. Instead, he took a slow step closer, until your faces were only inches apart. His hand rose, pressing against the door beside your head, effectively caging you in without touching you. His warm breath brushed against your lips as he spoke.
"And if I do?" he breathed, the question hanging heavy between you. His eyes, dark, intense, and unwavering, searched yours desperately, looking for even the smallest crack in your armor. The playful, easygoing Jisung you knew from class was gone. In his place was someone raw, honest, and completely unguarded.
"If I told you I've fallen for both versions of you..." he continued, voice low and rough, "the girl who I argue most of the time, and the girl who makes my heart race every time she runs across rooftops... what of it then?"
Your back was pressed firmly against the door. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath. His gaze never left yours, not even for a second, as if he was afraid you'd disappear the moment he blinked.
You opened your mouth to protest, heart racing wildly.
"Jisung, we can't— this isn't—"
But he didn't let you finish. Before the words could fully leave your lips, Jisung closed the remaining distance and captured your mouth with his. The kiss was sudden, urgent, and breathtaking. Like he had been holding back for far too long.
Your eyes widened in shock. Your hands instinctively rose to push against his chest, wanting to pull away, knowing this was dangerous, knowing you shouldn't let this happen. But the moment his warm, soft lips moved against yours, all your resolve crumbled. A quiet, helpless sound escaped your throat as your body betrayed you. Your clenched fists slowly loosened, fingers curling into the fabric of his hoodie instead of pushing him away. The kiss deepened, and you felt yourself melting into it, knees weakening under the intensity.
Jisung's hand slid from the door to gently cup the side of your face, tilting your head as he kissed you harder, pouring months of hidden tension, frustration, and longing into every movement. His other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against him.
You knew you should stop this. But God... his lips felt like heaven. The way he kissed you, desperate, tender, and hungry all at once made your mind go blissfully blank. A warm shiver ran down your spine as you finally gave in completely, kissing him back with just as much fervor. Your left hand rested gently against his chest while your other hand slid up to the back of his neck, fingers threading through his hair. A soft sigh slipped into his mouth as you surrendered to the feeling.
Jisung let out a low, shaky breath against your lips, like he couldn't believe this was really happening.
You barely had time to catch your breath. Jisung's hands slid down to the back of your thighs, gripping them firmly. With surprising strength, he lifted you up effortlessly. A startled gasp escaped your lips as your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. He didn't hesitate. His mouth found yours again in a hungry, heated kiss as he carried you across the room.
Your fingers tangled deeper into his hair, kissing him back with just as much desperation. Every step he took sent sparks through your body. The feeling of being held so securely in his arms while his lips moved against yours made your head spin.
Jisung reached the edge of your bed and sat down, keeping you wrapped around him. He pulled you closer until you were straddling his lap, your knees pressing into the mattress on either side of his thighs. His hands stayed firmly on the back of your thighs, holding you flush against him.
He broke the kiss for just a second, breathing heavily against your lips, eyes dark with want.
"Tell me to stop..." he whispered, voice rough and low, "and I will."
But you didn't tell him to stop. Instead, you leaned in again, capturing his lips in a deeper, slower kiss. Jisung groaned softly into your mouth, one hand sliding up your back while the other stayed gripping your thigh, pulling you even closer. The warmth of his body, the way his chest rose and fell against yours, and the undeniable hardness growing beneath you made heat pool low in your stomach.
You rocked your hips slightly without thinking, drawing another quiet groan from him. His fingers flexed against your skin as he kissed you harder, tongues brushing, breaths mingling. Jisung pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against yours, eyes half-lidded as he looked at you with pure reverence and desire.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted this," he murmured, voice husky. "How long I've wanted you."
Jisung's hands tightened on your thighs as he pulled you even closer on his lap. The kiss grew deeper, slower, heavier. No longer just desire, but months of unspoken longing finally breaking free.
"Can I?" he softly asked, as he try to lift your shirt up. Your eyes fluttering shut trying to look at him, and when you nodded your head giving him the permission he needed, he stopped hesitating.
He pulled your shirt over your head in one smooth motion, lips immediately attaching to your neck, sucking and kissing down your collarbone as his hands explored your bare skin. You moaned softly, arching into him. The feeling of his warm palms sliding up your back, unclasping your bra, and cupping your breasts made you shiver.
You tugged his hoodie and shirt off together, finally feeling his bare chest against yours. The heat of his skin, the firmness of his muscles, the way his heart pounded wildly under your palm, it was intoxicating.
Jisung flipped you gently onto your back, hovering over you as he kissed down your body with reverence. Every touch felt like worship. He took his time, lips brushing over your breasts, tongue circling your nipples until you were whimpering, hands gripping his hair. Lower and lower he went, until he was between your thighs, pulling your pants and underwear down in one go.
When his mouth found your core, you cried out, back arching off the bed. He groaned against you, the vibration sending sparks through your body. He ate you out like a man starved, slow, deep, and devoted. Like he had dreamed of tasting you for months.
"Jisung— fuck—" you moaned, thighs trembling around his head.
He didn't stop until you came hard on his tongue, gasping his name like a prayer.
Only then did he crawl back up, kissing you deeply so you could taste yourself on his lips. You reached down, palming him through his pants before pushing them down. When you finally wrapped your hand around his hard, throbbing cock, Jisung let out a broken groan, forehead dropping to your shoulder.
"Baby... I need you," he whispered, voice shaking with restraint.
Jisung pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, breathing ragged. His hand gently caressed your thigh as he positioned himself at your entrance, the tip of his cock pressing against your wet folds.
"Are you sure?" he whispered, voice hoarse with need.
You answered by pulling him into a deep kiss. He pushed in slowly. A broken moan slipped from both of you as he stretched you open, inch by inch. Jisung's eyes fluttered shut, forehead pressed against yours as he sank deeper.
"Fuck... you're so tight," he breathed shakily, voice trembling with restraint.
You gasped softly at the fullness, your walls fluttering around his thick length. He kept going until he was buried to the hilt, hips flush against yours. For a moment, neither of you moved, just feeling each other completely.
The stretch was perfect. The warmth. The way he throbbed inside you.
Jisung let out a soft, broken moan against your neck, his fingers digging gently into your hip. "You feel... so fucking good. I've been dreamed about this."
When he started moving, it was slow, deep rolls of his hips. Every thrust was deliberate, dragging against that perfect spot inside you. Soft, breathy moans filled the room as your bodies rocked together.
"Ah— Jisung..." you whimpered, legs tightening around his waist.
He groaned lowly, the sound vibrating against your skin. "Fuck, say my name again."
"Jisung..."
He kissed you deeply as he picked up the pace just slightly, still making love to you rather than fucking you. Every thrust was long and sensual, pulling almost all the way out before sliding back in, savoring the way your walls clenched around him.
You moaned softly in his mouth as a response, your hands sliding up his back, feeling the muscles shift under your fingers with every movement. The slow, steady rhythm made the pleasure build gradually, warmly, spreading through your entire body.
He angled his hips a little differently, and a sweeter, higher sound slipped from your lips. Jisung groaned in response, the sound vibrating against your throat as he kept that same perfect pace, thrusting deeper but never faster.
Neither of you spoke much, just soft gasps, quiet moans, and whispered names. You could feel every inch of him sliding in and out, the way he throbbed inside you, the slight tremble in his arms as he held himself back. Pleasure coiled tighter and tighter in your core, warm and heavy.
"I'm close..." you breathed, nails lightly pressing into his back.
"Me too," he whispered, voice strained. "Let go, baby."
A few more deep, smooth thrusts and you came with a soft, broken moan, clenching tightly around him. Jisung followed right after, burying himself deep as he groaned lowly against your neck, hips stuttering as he spilled inside you.
Both of you trembled, breathing heavily in sync. Jisung stayed buried inside you for a long moment, placing lazy, gentle kisses along your shoulder and collarbone as you both came down from the high.
Silence settled over the room. The only sounds were your slowing breaths and the faint hum of the city outside your window. Neither of you spoke right away. The weight of everything that had just happened slowly sank in. Your body was still buzzing with pleasure, your skin flushed and sensitive, while a deep, warm emotion bloomed in your chest.
Jisung's fingers traced lazy patterns on your bare back. You could feel his heartbeat against your cheek, steady but a little faster than normal. After a few minutes, he finally shatters the silence.
"...What does this make us?" he asked softly, his voice low and a little uncertain. His hand paused on your waist as he waited for your answer.
You lifted your head from his chest and looked at him. His eyes were warm, vulnerable, and full of quiet hope. For a moment, you just stared at him—this boy who was both your annoying seatmate and the hero who had chased you and made you feel so many emotions.
You let out a small breath, a faint smile tugging at your lips. "If you're okay dating someone like me... a thief," you said quietly, "then I guess we're dating?"
Jisung's eyes softened. A slow, genuine smile spread across his face as he pulled you closer, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
You lay quietly in Jisung's arms, your head resting on his chest as his fingers gently stroked up and down your back. The silence between you was comfortable now, warm and full of unspoken feelings.
After a while, Jisung spoke again, his voice soft against the top of your head.
"You know you're not just a thief, right?" When you lifted your head again slightly to look at him. He was already watching you, eyes gentle and sincere.
"One of the main reasons I never tried too hard to stop you from stealing those jewels... is because I know where they're going," he continued quietly. "Your methods might not be justified in everyone's eyes, but you're a hero too, Y/N. In your own way."
That acknowledgement hit you deeper than you expected. Your heart fluttered strongly in your chest, warmth spreading through your entire body. For so long, you had carried the weight of being the bad guy, the thief, the villain in someone else's story.
But hearing it from him—from Spiderman—made something inside you shift. You buried your face back into his chest, hiding the shy, emotional smile threatening to break out. Jisung chuckled softly and tightened his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your hair.
"Maybe... just maybe," you whispered against his skin, "falling for Spiderman wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."
Jisung smiled, a bright, heart-shaped grin you could feel even without looking. "Good," he murmured, voice full of affection. "Because you're stuck with me now, Kitty."
summary: four ex-couples are brought together to test whether love can end, restart or transform. you’re not sure which path is yours yet - closure, a new beginning or the courage to try again
< part 13 | alternative ending >
“five more minutes”, you mumble against his chest, your voice still heavy with sleep.
seungmin laughs softly under you, one of his hands moving through your hair while the other stays wrapped around your waist beneath the sheets.
“mmhm, you said that ten minutes ago”, he says and you can tell he’s smiling.
“i know, but i mean it this time”, you say, getting even closer to him, and he knows you don’t mean it this time either.
“y/n, you have an interview in two hours”
you groan and bury your face deeper into him immediately, your arms tightening around his body.
“please, don’t remind me”
his chest shakes under you as he laughs again and then you feel him tilting his head to look down at you.
“you’re nervous”, he says, matter of fact.
“no, i’m not”
“yes, you are”
you sigh and snuggle closer to him, “okay… maybe a little”
“a little?”, he laughs, amused.
you lift your head just enough to glare at him weakly, “this is my future we’re talking about, kim seungmin”
his expression softens at that, like it always does with you now. one year later and he still looks at you like your feelings are the most important thing in the world.
“you’re gonna do amazing”, he says quietly.
you shake your head, “you don’t know that”
“but i know you and you’re amazing”
your chest warms at his words and you have to look away for a second because somehow he still affects you too much, especially now, after everything.
“i’m serious”, he says, “i’m sure they already love your book and they will want to publish it”
you sigh again, your fingers absentmindedly playing with his t-shirt, “but what if they don’t?”
“then they’re stupid”
you laugh at that, “seungmin!”
“i’m serious”, he says again, pulling you closer against him, “you’ve worked on this book for almost a year. you’ve stayed up all night countless times, just writing and then writing again when you didn’t like something. you’ve put your whole heart into this”, he says as his fingers brush gently against your cheek, “and i know you, and you don’t do things halfway”
you stare at him and god, you love him so much. and maybe the most beautiful part is that now you can finally love him without fear attached to it, without confusion or constantly feeling like he might disappear again.
everything that once hurt between you had healed slowly after the show ended. it wasn’t magically or overnight, no, but patiently, carefully, you two kept choosing each other again and again until it became easy, until loving each other stopped feeling terrifying or something that could shatter and just started feeling safe.
the show ended exactly a year ago, a whole year since seungmin walked through that white door and looked at you like you still were his whole world. you both left together that night, no hesitation or doubts anymore, you just left together, your hands intertwined while the cameras followed you outside for the last time.
two months after that, you moved back in together, back into this apartment that was your home together, then became your constant reminder of him when he wasn’t there, and now it’s your home again. but now you know what it feels like to lose each other and neither of you wants to go through that again.
your life together after the show has been beautiful - quiet mornings, late night convenience store runs, falling asleep tangled together on the sofa, cooking dinner together while played in the background, seungmin editing photos at his desk while you wrote beside him for hours in silence.
home, that’s what it became again, your home.
and now here he is beside you in bed, his hair messy from sleep and his eyes still warm and soft while he looks at you like you the most precious thing he’s ever had.
you groan and hide your face in his neck, “what if i embarrass myself?”
“you won’t”
“what if they hate me?”
“they won’t”, he says, quicker this time, no room for hesitation.
“what if i faint?”
at that he laughs again, much harder than before, a full laugh, bright and beautiful.
“baby, you’re being dramatic”
you gasp against his neck, “i’m not”
“you absolutely are”
you lift your head and narrow your eyes at him before you try to pull away from his arms.
“okay then, since you’ve decided to bully me this early in the morning-”
but before you can finish speaking, seungmin suddenly grabs your waist tighter and then, attacks his fingers dig into your sides mercilessly and you immediately shriek.
“seungmin-”
“what?”
“s-stop- n-no, please”
you break into uncontrollable laughter as you try to escape him while he just keeps tickling you under the sheets.
“minnie, p-please”
“no”, he says, laughing as much as you.
“y-you’re impossible”
“and you’re dramatic”
“b-but you l-love me!”
“i do”, he says immediately.
the words come so naturally now, so easy that it seems like they’re engraved in his lips. and it doesn’t matter that you’ve heard them a thousand times before, they still make your heart stumble every single time.
you stop laughing and look at him, seungmin looking at you the moment he sees you watching him. his hands slow against your waist as you try to catch your breath while he looks at you with those eyes that always undo you completely.
his fingers brush gently against your cheek and then he lends down and kisses you, making you melt against his lips. one of your hands slides into his hair while his arm wraps tighter around your waist beneath the sheets, pulling you fully against him. you kiss him again and again, your kisses mixed with your laughter every time one of you smiles too much against the other’s lips to keep kissing properly.
“i’m so in love with you”, you whisper against his lips.
he smiles, “good”
you laugh and pull away, “good?”
“yeah”, he says, kissing you once more, “good”
“that’s it? that’s all you have to say?”
“what else do you want me to say, huh?”, he says, leaning in trying to kiss you again but you just push his chest while you shake your head.
“i don’t know, something like you love me too or that you love me even more or something like-”
he doesn’t let you finish, because he leans in again and succeeds this time when he presses your lips together this time, making you smile against them.
“i’m so in love with you, y/n, you have no idea”
your heart feels so full it almost hurts so you do the only thing you can think of, you kiss him again and again until he groans against your lips and then collapses fully on top of you now, this time it’s his turn to cling.
“you know what?”, he mumbles, “actually forget the interview. stay here with me”
you burst out laughing, “oh my god, minnie”
“just five more minutes”
“you… hypocrite”
“please”, he whines, tightening his arms around you, “i’m just a man in love”
you laugh harder, your fingers sliding through his messy hair while he buries his face against your chest.
“you’re unbelievable”
“mmhm”, he mumbles against you, “but i’m still not letting you leave”
you smile so hard your cheeks hurt as your fingers continue brushing through his hair gently while the sunlight keeps filling the room around you. seungmin closes his eyes beneath your touch like he never wants to move again, like this is all he ever needed - you, your home together, in peace, finally.
the editor smiles at you from across the table and closes the printed manuscript carefully before placing both of her hands over it.
“i loved it”, she says smiling at you.
you blink at her, almost like you didn’t hear her properly.
“what?”
she laughs softly at your expression, “your book”, she says again, “i loved it”
you feel your entire body go warm and she takes the opportunity to continue speaking.
“you write emotions beautifully”, she says, flipping one of the pages open again briefly, “and the relationship of the main characters feels very real. painfully real at times i would say”
you let out a nervous laugh because if she only knew.
“there’s something very honest about it, especially the way you write about love after loss. most people usually write second chance romances like fantasy, but yours feels…”, she pauses for a moment, searching for the right word, “lived… real”
your throat tightens immediately because it was lived, every page and chapter of your book, every heartbreak was definitely lived. you poured yourself into this book when you didn't know what else to do with your feelings. when loving seungmin felt impossible when he left, when your heart had nowhere to go except onto paper, when the show felt too complicated to even exist there, when seungmin came back and loving him felt like something you could never escape from.
the editor smiles softly again, “we still need to have a final meeting with the rest of the team but personally? i think this has a lot of potential”, she says as you stare at her, still trying to understand that this is finally happening, “we’d really like to publish it, y/n”
and suddenly your eyes burn. you bow quickly in your seat, completely overwhelmed and not sure of what to do.
“thank you”, you say breathlessly, “really, thank you so much”
she smiles again, “we’ll contact you soon after the meeting, but you should be really proud of yourself”
proud.
you feel like you could cry there and then, so you just shake hands politely, bow once more and then manage to leave her office without completely bursting into tears - you don’t really know how you pull that off to be honest.
the second the door closes behind you, you grab your phone and immediately call seungmin, your fingers shaking as you do it, and he answers instantly, like he was already waiting for your call.
“well?”
you laugh breathlessly, “she loved it”
“what?”
“seungmin, she loved it!”, you repeat louder now, unable to stop smiling, “and she said they want to publish it”
there’s a second of silence and then-
“i knew it!
you burst out laughing in the middle of the hallway, hearing seungmin screaming and cheering for you on the other end of the line.
“i knew it, i knew it!”, seungmin continues loudly, “i told you, baby, i told you they’d love it”
your smile hurts now but you’re so happy, so fucking happy.
“she said they still need to have another meeting”, you explain quickly while walking towards the lifts, “but she said it has potential and that she wants to publish it and-”
“i’m proud of you”
his words make you stop completely and you stand there in the middle of the hallway, your smile impossibly bigger and your eyes finally letting some tears fall down your face. seungmin’s voice grows quieter after that.
“i’m really proud of you baby”
you close your eyes while your tears still fall, “i love you, minnie”, you whisper and he can hear the smile on your voice.
he laughs softly through the phone, “i love you too, baby”
you hear movement on his side of the call, the keys jingling you think.
“where are you?”, you ask him as you start walking again.
“i’m coming to pick you up”, he says and you hear the door closing.
“what?”
“i already spoke to minho”, he says, “we’re meeting all of them in like an hour anyway, so we have some time”
you smile instantly, “minnie”
“what?”
“you don’t need to come get me, i can go home and then we can leave together”
“i know i don’t have to, but i want to”
your heart melts completely and you can hear his smile through the phone.
“i’ll meet you downstairs in fifteen minutes”
you laugh softly, “okay, i’ll wait for you in the cafeteria”
“okay… and baby?”
“yes?”
“you did it”
the words hit you harder than anything else today, because it’s true - you did it. you swallow quickly, then smile to yourself again.
“yeah”, you whisper softly while stepping inside the lift, “i did it”
you end the call and then the lift begins descending. you lean back against the mirrored wall, staring at your reflection while your heartbeat slowly calms. it’s crazy to think that it’s been one year since everything fell apart and somehow led you exactly where you were always meant to be.
you think about that version of yourself sometimes - the girl crying against windows while storms raged outside who was terrified of hurting everyone, the girl who thought love had become something painful and impossible for her.
you barely recognise her now, not because she disappeared, no. but because she survived and she finally found peace afterwards. the show changed everything for you.
it forced you and seungmin to finally face everything you had been too afraid to admit before - the hurt, the love, the fear, the longing, all of it. and somehow after all that chaos, after all the tears and the heartbreak, what remained was simple, you loved him and he loved you and your love survived anyway.
the show also gave you a new found family - lily, minho and han. they were the people you met in the middle of heartbreak and became your family afterwards. and lily and minho could both say the same thing, because no longer after the show ended, they started dating and now they’re looking for places to move in together.
you still see yuna and changbin sometimes too, but their lives are a bit more hectic than yours. you’ve seen them in occasional dinners and your birthday parties, and you text a lot, but still, they are some of the people you really want to keep in your life.
you saw yeong a bit more right after the show ended, but you’re not really in contact with her now. you think it might be because of minho and lily dating, so you don’t really blame her for becoming more distant now. feelings are feelings after all.
you obviously don’t see hae or haven’t heard from her, like… none, zero, nada. not that you’re interested in seeing her to be honest.
and chan…
your chest softens slightly at the thought. things ended peacefully between you in the end, painfully but peacefully. the last time you saw him was the day before the show ended, when you went to their lodge looking for seungmin and you found him there instead. he had told changbin he needed distance to move on properly and you understood.
you’ll probably always care about him in some way, but you know some people aren’t meant to stay forever in your life. some people arrive in your life to help you understand something before letting you go. and maybe that was what chan had been for you - a lesson, a comfort during a moment where you felt completely lost.
but seungmin… seungmin was your home, and he always had been.
the show gave you love again, your home, it gave you people who stayed and also, in the middle of all that chaos, your heartbreak became a book. a book that someone now wanted to publish - your dream, your love story, your second chance, your opportunity to love again, all of it became real.
who knows if someone could read your book and hope that it would be the same for them too.
the doors finally open downstairs and you start walking towards the cafeteria, which is much quieter than usual when you walk in. there’s soft music playing somewhere in the background and when you look to the counter, you see felix and jeongin working there, both of them workers there who you have met during the last months, whenever you came to the meetings and such.
the moment they see you, both of them straighten immediately behind the counter.
“and?”, felix asks you, his eyes wide and hopeful, “how did it go?”
you can’t even stop your smile before it spreads across your face again and apparently that’s enough answer for them because both of them react immediately.
“no way!”, jeongin says loudly, smiling big and bright at you.
felix gasps and then points at you, “they liked it!?”
you laugh again, still feeling like none of this is actually real and you’re gonna wake up any moment now.
“she said they want to publish it”, you tell them.
felix lets out the loudest scream and jeongin walks towards you, grabbing your shoulders the moment he gets close enough.
“congratulation, y/n!”, jeongin says.
“i knew it!”, felix says, walking towards you too, “i told you the last time you came here”
you laugh harder as both of them start talking over each other excitedly.
“this is so cool, y/n!”, felix says.
“you’re gonna be a published author”, jeongin says.
“a real author now!”
your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. the three of you end up laughing together in the cafeteria, while both of them just keep congratulating you and celebrating.
“you will have to sign my copy when it’s out”, felix says.
“no, you have to sign mine first”, jeongin argues.
“no, mine! i met her first, you weren’t here the first day she came!”, felix says.
“well, i met seungmin first so that’s 1-1”, jeongin says.
you laugh softly and shake your head. god, everything feels so good today, almost perfect, there’s no way this day could get any better.
felix leans back against the counter and smiles at you more softly after a moment.
“seriously though”, he says, “i’m sure you must have worked really hard for this, y/n, you should be proud of yourself”
you look down shyly for a second, “thank you, felix”
“i can’t wait to read it”, jeongin adds, “no, seriously, the way you talked about it every time you came here me want to read it and i’m not really a book guy to be honest”
you laugh, “that’s bad, you know?”
“yeah, really bad”, felix says, teasing him too, “we work in the cafeteria of a publishing house, you should be ashamed of yourself”
jeongin flips felix off and you start laughing again, shaking your head looking at the scene.
“okay, so before you two continue judging me”, jeongin says, gesturing towards the menu behind felix, “miss author, coffee? cake? tea? ice cream?”
you smile and shake your head again, “no, thank you. seungmin’s picking me up in a bit”
both of them look at each other and smirk knowingly.
“oooh”, felix says, smirking at you now.
“date night”, jeongin says.
“jeongin, it’s midday”, you tell him.
“and? love doesn’t know time”, you burst out laughing again, and he continues, “you’re disgusting actually, both of you”
“you’re just jealous of them”, felix says, hitting his shoulder softly.
“that would be correct but let’s pretend it’s not”, jeongin answers, making you all laugh again.
felix suddenly looks over you shoulder then and smiles brightly, “oh, hi”
you turn and there he is, seungmin, walking towards you with that soft smile already on his face. your heart reacts to it instantly, it always will. he’s wearing simple black jeans and one of his shirts you keep stealing from him in the mornings when it’s the first thing your hands can reach to cover your naked body after you made love until late hours in the night.
he reaches you and immediately leans down to kiss your cheek softly.
“hi, baby”
“hi”, you say, smiling up at him.
he greets felix and jeongin warmly, bowing politely while they start teasing him.
“seungmin, you’re gonna have a famous girlfriend now”, felix says, grinning at both of you.
seungmin looks at you proudly, “i know”
your chest melts but you don’t get to say anything before jeongin speaks this time.
“you better spoil her tonight, okay?”, he tells seungmin.
seungmin nods his head, “already planning to”
you laugh while jeongin groans again, “i hate couples”
“you’ll survive, don’t worry”, you tell him, all of you laughing.
after another few minutes of talking and teasing, seungmin reaches for your hand, naturally and effortlessly, like it belongs there, which it does.
“come on”, he says softly, “we should go”
you say goodbye to felix and jeongin while they keep yelling congratulations after you and then leave the building together. the second you walk outside, you turn to seungmin but you barely even get a chance to speak because he pulls you gently towards him and kisses you, properly this time, so slow and soft that it steals your breath completely.
you move your fingers to his shirt, curling there instinctively while he kisses you like he’s waiting to do that since the moment he arrived, even since the moment you left your apartment that morning. you melt into his lips, feeling like you could fly away at any moment, but his lips against yours are the only thing keeping you there. when he pulls away, you’re breathless, blinking up at him while he smiles softly against your lips.
“what was that for?”, you whisper, so out of it that you’re not even sure if you said those words out loud or only in your head.
“that”, he says, brushing his nose against yours, “was to tell you how proud i am of you”
“seungmin…”
“i mean it”, he says, “you did it, my love”
you look at him and then smile again, so hard it hurts your face, but you don’t care. he smiles too, that soft and beautiful smile that once destroyed you and now only makes you feel safe. then he intertwines your fingers together and starts walking slowly beside you.
“the restaurant’s close”, he says, “and we have time, so i thought we could walk there”
you squeeze his hand gently, “i’d like that”
he lifts your joined hands and kisses your knuckles softly before continuing down the street with you beside him, like he plans to do for the rest of his life. you honestly don’t think he’ll ever stop touching you whenever he can and you don’t think you’ll ever get tired of it.
“you know”, he says beside you, “i think i need to start preparing mentally”
you look at him, confused, “for what?”
he sighs dramatically, and you know then he’s joking.
“for what felix said”, he says, “my girlfriend becoming famous”
you burst out laughing, “seungmin-”
“no, seriously”, he continues with complete seriousness now, or at least as much as he can pretend, “soon people are gonna stop us on the street”
“oh my god”
“you’ll become this huge author”, he continues, “and then i’ll have to protect you”
you laugh harder, “protect me from what exactly?”
“the paparazzi obviously”
“there are no paparazzi, seungmin”
“not right now, but there will be”, he says and nods to himself confidently, “i’ll become your bodyguard”
you snort, “you?”
“yes”, he says and squeezes your hand, “i’ll wear sunglasses indoors and stand behind you like this”
he suddenly straightens his posture dramatically and places his free hand on his ears like he’s listening to someone saying something and then scans the river like he's a security personnel.
you laugh so hard your stomach hurts, “you’re ridiculous”
“some would say i’m the perfect boyfriend but whatever”
“debatable”
he gasps softly beside you, “you wound me”
you shake your head while smiling helplessly and seungmin looks at you with that fond expression he always gets now whenever you laugh too hard, like your happiness is the most beautiful thing he’ll ever see. then his fingers brush softly against yours again.
“so”, he says more quietly after a moment, “what now?”
you look at him, “what do you mean?”
“the book”, he shrugs casually, but you know him too well, “what happens now?”
you narrow your eyes suspiciously, “you mean the story?”
“mmhm”
but there’s something in his voice, something much softer, almost delicate. you stare at him for another second before realisation settles inside your chest and you smile faintly to yourself because you know what he’s really asking.
it’s not about the book, it’s about you and him, about your future. the book had always been inspired by both of you, the characters and their heartbreak and then their second chance. anyone reading it would never fully know, but seungmin does. he sees himself hidden between the pages every time he reads it and now he’s asking you what comes after the ending.
“what do you think happens?”, you ask him softly.
he smiles a little at that. to anyone else it would sound like you’re discussing fictional characters but neither of you is really talking about fiction anymore.
“i think”, he says slowly, “the sequel should be less traumatic”
you laugh quietly, “yeah, definitely less traumatic”, you smile while looking ahead the river again and continue talking, “i think… that maybe they finally learn how to love each other properly”
seungmin’s face softens instantly beside you, “they already do”
your heart stumbles softly but you continue anyway because suddenly this conversation feels fragile somehow, much more important.
“and i also think that they…”, you say quietly, “they move to a different place, a big house this time”
“mmhm”
“with lots of windows”
“because the girl loves the sunlight”, he says simply but his words hit you gently, deeply, because you do love the sunlight and it’s something that you told him on your first date and he hasn’t forgotten.
you look down for a second because somehow after all this time he can still make you shy.
“and maybe…”, you continue softly, “they stop being scared all the time”
seungmin looks at you then, “they definitely do that”
you smile faintly.
“and maybe they get married eventually”
the words leave your mouth casually, too fast, you don’t even think about them, but your heart starts beating faster and seungmin notices so he tightens his hand around yours softly.
“yeah?”, he asks you carefully.
you try to act normal, “yeah”
“what kind of wedding would they have?”
you look at him suspiciously now because he’s way too invested in this.
“seungmin”
“what? i wanna know all the details of the sequel, i don’t care if they’re spoilers”
you laugh and pretend to think for a moment before you answer him.
“maybe something small”, you say.
“small?”
“yeah”
he thinks for a second and adds, “near the ocean”
your chest warms at that, “near the ocean, yeah”
“with terrible weather”
you laugh, “absolutely terrible weather”
“yeah, like a storm maybe”, he says, laughing too.
“that rings a bell”
he grins proudly and then after a moment he says something else, casually, but it’s not.
“and they would probably have children, right?”
you choke slightly, “children?”
“yeah”
you stare at him now and he’s trying so hard not to smile.
“you’re insane”
“what? i’m just brainstorming here”
“sure”
you both keep walking slowly beside the river while people pass around you and the sky shines bright above you.
“how many?”, he asks you.
“what?”
“kids”
you laugh in disbelief, “minnie”
“oh come on, this is important for the plot”
you shake your head while smiling helplessly, “i don’t know… maybe two?”
he immediately shakes his head, “no”
you blink, “no?”
“three”
you stare at him in shock, “three!?”
“yes”, he says, nodding his head.
“that’s a lot of children”
“it’s literally one more child”
“that’s still a whole person, kim seungmin”
he laughs loudly beside you, “you’d be beautiful pregnant”
your jaw drops immediately, “oh my god?”, he laughs even harder now while you hit his arm repeatedly, “you can’t just say things like that!”
“why not?”
“because… because you just can’t, okay?”
he’s still laughing while pulling you closer against him.
“okay, okay”
“unbelievable”, you say, shaking your head, but you can’t hide the smile on your face.
“but imagine it though”
you look at him and you can see he’s not joking anymore. there’s something softer in his eyes now, like he can actually see everything you’ve been talking about - a home, children running around, you beside him, all of that forever.
“what would their names be?”, you ask him quietly, before you can stop yourself.
his expression changes instantly because now he knows you’re imagining it too and the realisation makes him smile so softly it almost makes you cry just looking at him.
“well”, he says thoughtfully, “we would have two girls and a boy and-
“you already planned it?”
“obviously”
you laugh again, “how many times have you thought about this?”
“i’ve lost track to be honest”, he says smiling softly and looking down shy for a moment before continuing, “for the girls i like bada and soyun”
you blink and you can feel your heart getting warmer and you have to stop yourself from crying.
“that’s actually really pretty, minnie”
he grins shyly at you before continuing, “and for the boy i like yoojin”
somehow it becomes this whole conversation after that, and you go from names to schools to whose personality the kids would inherit to who should be the one reading bed time stories each night. and through all of it, both of you know what this conversation really is. neither of you says it out loud but every glance lingers for too long and every smile feels to knowing because somehow without directly saying it, you’re talking about forever and the beautiful part is that you both want the same version of it.
eventually seungmin looks ahead and suddenly brightens.
“ice cream!”, he says, pointing at something ahead of you.
you follow his gaze and spot the small stall near the path and start laughing.
“seriously? we’re meeting the others to eat in a bit”
“and?”
“and you want ice cream now?”
he looks genuinely confused, “yes”
you shake your head fondly and he just grins when you finally nod.
“okay, fine”
“wait there for me”, he says, pointing towards the safety railing surrounding the han river.
you smile softly at him, “yes, mr. bodyguard”
“see? you’re already respecting my authority”
you laugh while walking towards the railing and seungmin heads towards the ice cream stall still smiling to himself. you rest your arms against the railing and smile to yourself while watching the sunlight dance across the water. this, this right here, is everything you used to dream about when you were younger.
you think about the conversation you just had with seungmin, about the weddings and children and books and sequels and forever disguised as jokes, and you smile again because deep down, you know that no matter what your future looks like, it’s going to be okay because he’ll be there.
you hear your phone buzz in your pocket and you already start laughing before even checking it.
“unbelievable”, you mumble to yourself.
perks of dating a photographer, apparently. you pull your phone out and unlock it, already expecting exactly what it is - a text from seungmin, a photo to be exact. you shake your head fondly while opening the text and seeing the photo. in it, you’re standing by the railing with your back turned towards the camera, your hair moving in the breeze while the sunlight melts into the river in front of you.
your heart melts instantly because somehow he always captures you exactly the way he sees you, like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever loved.
you smile at the photo before your eyes drift lower and then freeze.
at the very bottom of the photo, slightly blurred but still visible enough for you to see it, there’s something in the corner of the frame.
a small open box and inside it, a ring.
your breath catches so suddenly it hurts and your eyes widen as your brain tries to process what you’re seeing.
no.
no way.
your heart starts pounding violently against your ribs and you look up from your phone, and then you turn around so fast your stomach flips and there he is.
seungmin, right in front of you.
on one knee.
the same ring box in his hands.
your breath leaves your lungs completely, “seungmin…”
his eyes are already glassy, red around the edges, emotional in that way he always gets when he’s trying very hard not to cry. everything feels blurred and distant now because all you can see is him, just him there in front of you.
you cover your mouth with both hands as tears flood your eyes, “oh my god, minnie-”
“baby”, he says quickly, already laughing nervously through his own tears, please let me talk before i start crying too much”
you laugh helplessly, the sound breaking apart with your sobs while you nod your head rapidly. he exhales shakily and looks at you like you’re the only thing keeping him breathing, and maybe you are.
“i had this whole speech planned”, he admits, laughing breathlessly, “and now i can’t remember any of it because you’re crying and now i’m crying too”
you shake your head while tears stream down your cheeks and then he smiles at you, that damn smile. the smile that survived everything, the smile that once broke your heart and then spent a lot of time finding its way back to you.
“you know”, he says softly, “when we talked about the sequel just now…”, you laugh through your tears again, “the wedding, the kids… our future”, he says, his voice shaking, “i wasn’t really talking about the book”
your chest caves in completely, “i know”, you say, your voice not much louder than a whisper.
he looks down for a second, collecting himself, before looking back at you again. and there’s so much love in his face that it nearly destroys you, but it’s also enough to pull all of your pieces back together again.
“y/n… you are the love of my life”, he says quietly, and the world stops, “you always have been”
your tears fall harder and he continues talking, smiling at you.
“i knew it even back then”, he says, his voice trembling now, “when we first met and we were younger and stupid and thought love was supposed to be easy”, he laughs weakly, “but even when everything fell apart… even when we lost each other… even when i thought i ruined everything beyond repair… even when i thought i was going to lose you again…”, his eyes shine, “it was still you”
your knees feel weak as a sob leaves your lips.
“i tried so hard to survive without you”, he whispers, “but nothing ever felt fully right without you there”, he wipes at his eyes quickly with the back of his hand before continuing, “and then we found each other again”, your chest aches so painfully it feels beautiful, it almost feels poetic, “we went through hell to get back here, literally national hell”, he says with a shaky laugh.
you laugh loudly through your crying and he smiles at hearing it.
“but i would do all of it again if it meant ending up with you”, the sun catches against the tears on his cheeks as he whispers, “you’re my home, y/n. you’re my safest place. my favourite person. my best friend. my forever”, his voice cracks then, “and i don’t want a single future that doesn’t have you in it”
you cry harder at his words.
“i want all of it with you”, he says, “i want the wedding. i want the house getting too noisy because our kids inherited your personality and my inability to say no to them”
you laugh wetly and he laughs with you.
“i want to eat ice cream with you at midnight. i want to edit my photos while you write your books next to me. i want to wake up next to you when we’re old and we need to get ready to eat with our children and grandchildren too”
his tears fall freely now too.
“i just want you”, he says helplessly, “for the rest of my life”
you’re sobbing now, your hands still covering your mouth while your entire body shakes as you look at him.
“and i know we already found our way back to each other once”, he says softly, “but this time…”, he opens the ring box and the diamond catches the sunlight, “this time i never want to lose you again”, his voice breaks completely, “so, y/n…”, he laughs shakily through his tears, “will you marry me?”
you nod your head before he even finishes speaking.
“yes”, your voice breaks, “yes, yes-”, you laugh and cry at the same time, “of course i will”
his entire face crumbles with emotion, “really?”
“yes!”, you cry, “seungmin, yes”
he stands up so quickly he nearly loses balance and you both laugh through your tears before he grabs your face with both of his hands. your hands clutch at his shirt and you realise both of you are crying uncontrollably now.
“you’re really gonna marry me?”, he whispers like he still can’t believe it.
you nod your head desperately, “in every lifetime”
that breaks him completely and he can’t do anything else but kiss you right then and there.
nothing in your life has ever felt like this kiss. not your first kiss, not your kiss after you found your way back to each other, not the storm, not the heartbreak, nothing.
this kiss holds everything - every day apart, every chance, every “i miss you”, every fear, every apology, every moment you spent finding your way back to each other.
his hand shake against your cheeks while he kisses you like he still can’t believe you said yes, that you’re gonna spend your lives together. and at this moment, all you know is him and his mouth against yours and his tears mixing with yours and the sound of his shaky laugh when you smile against his lips becomes your favourite sound in the world.
“i love you”, he whispers desperately between kisses”
“i love you too”, you whisper in the same way.
and again.
and again.
like neither of you will ever get tired of hearing it.
he pulls away just enough to take the ring out of the box with trembling fingers and your breathing stutters when he gently takes your hand. the ring slides onto your finger perfectly and then he looks at it, looks at you, and starts crying all over again.
“oh my god”, he laughs breathlessly, hiding his face in your neck, “you’re really gonna marry me”
you burst into laughter through your tears and throw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you, and then he lifts his head just enough to catch your lips with his again.
“i’m so happy”, you whisper against his lips, your voice trembling as fresh tears gather in your eyes.
seungmin laughs softly, his own eyes still wet as he presses his forehead against yours.
“i know”, he says, “i can feel your heartbeat from here”
you let out a watery laugh and hold onto him tighter, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt like you still need to make sure he’s really there and this is real, that after everything, after all the heartbreak and fear and almost losing each other forever, this is where you ended up.
together and engaged, still hopelessly in love.
“i love you so much”, you say and the words come out broken because there’s simply too much emotion inside you now to say anything properly.
his entire expression softens immediately, a softness reserved only for you.
“i love you more”, he says.
“that’s impossible”
“no”, he says seriously, wiping another tear from your cheek with his thumb, “you don’t understand. i’m obsessed with you”
you burst into laughter through your tears and he smiles at the sound and then his eyes widen.
“we have to go!”
“what?”
“we have to go”, he says again, “they’re waiting for us”
your brain takes a second to catch up and then your eyes widen too, “wait-”
seungmin starts laughing immediately because he already know what you’re about to ask.
“they knew?”
he tries to look innocent, “well…”
“kim seungmin”, he laughs harder while you stare at him in complete betrayal, “you told them!? you told them you were gonna propose?”
“i had to!”
“oh my god”
he grabs your hand again before you can walk away from him and presses another quick kiss to your lips.
“i didn’t tell them when i was gonna do it though”, he defends himself between laughs, “I just told them it was gonna happen eventually”
“ugh, you’re unbelievable”
“but i’m your fiancé now”
you freeze there and so does he, as the word hangs between you.
fiancé. your fiancé.
you both stare at each other for a second before breaking down laughing again because neither of you can emotionally handle that yet.
“oh my god”, you whisper, covering your face, “seungmin, you’re my fiancé”
he looks just as emotional hearing you say it, “yeah”, he says softly and then, quieter, “and you’re my fiancée”
your chest aches so hard it feels like your heart is physically overflowing. you grab his face and kiss him again, long and soft, smiling against his mouth halfway through because neither of you can stop smiling now. when you pull away, he brushes his nose against yours gently.
“i really did have this whole speech planned, by the way”, he says.
you laugh, “i know, minnie”
“no, seriously. i practised in front of the mirror when you weren’t home”
“that’s adorable”
“and it was good too”, he complains softly, “like award winning level”
you laugh harder as he intertwines your fingers again and finally starts walking with you down the river and this time you stay impossibly close to him. your joined hands swing between you while your other hand wraps around his arm, holding onto him like you never want even an inch of distance between you again. seungmin looks down at you and immediately melts a little at how close you’re standing, then he kisses the top of your head softly.
“when did you even decide to do it?”, you ask him after a moment.
he smiles to himself, “honestly?”
“yeah”
“i’ve known for a while now”, he admits, “but today…”, his fingers squeeze yours gently, “when you called me after your meeting, you sounded so happy”, he says softly, “and i just kept thinking about how badly i wanted to spend every version of your future beside you”
your eyes burn instantly again.
“and then we had that conversation about the sequel”, he continues, laughing softly, “and our fake definitely-not-real children”
“excuse you, they’re very real now”
he grins, “right, sorry”
“you literally named all of them”
“i did, yeah”
you laugh again while he just looks ahead, a proud smile on his face. then your expression changes and you gasp loudly.
“wait the ice cream-”
seungmin immediately bursts into laughter.
“you lied to me!?”
“i’m sorry, baby, i had to!”, he says as he doubles over laughing while you hit his arm lightly.
“you were never gonna get ice cream, were you?”
“no”
“oh god…”
“i’m sorry! i had to distract you somehow to ask you to become my future wife”
you cover your face while he laughs harder, “ugh, i hate you so much”
“no, you don’t”
you smile because, well, you obviously don’t, you could never hate him, not in this lifetime, not in any of them. as you continue walking towards the restaurant, seungmin glances sideways at you with a mischievous smile.
“you know”, he says casually, “you’re gonna have people fighting to be your maid of honour”
you start laughing, “oh god, you’re right”
“lily’s gonna get violent”
“she absolutely will”
“and han too”, he says laughing.
you snort loudly, “he can’t be my maid of honour, he’s a boy”
“and you think that will stop him?”
you stare at him, “yeah, you’re right, he would definitely do it”
you both burst into laughter just imagining it.
“lily would actually kill him, it would ruin the wedding”, you say.
“i think it’d improve the wedding actually”, he says.
you laugh so hard you have to stop walking for a second and seungmin watches you with the softest expression imaginable. when your laughter finally calms, he steps closer to you again, very close. his hand moves to your cheek and then the noise of the city feels distant again.
“i love you so much” he says quietly, but it’s as honest and certain like breathing.
your chest tightens at his words, “i love you too, seungmin”
he smiles and then lends down and kisses you again beneath the bright sky while the han river glows beside you and the city moves endlessly around the two of you.
and for the first time in your life, forever no longer feels frightening, because now you know exactly who you’ll spend it with.
a/n: and this, my loves, is how reader and seungmin's love story ends 🥹 we made it!! they're happy, together again and ENGAGED! howeverrrr... this is NOT the end of this series because there's ONE CHAPTER MORE: AN ALTERNATIVE ENDING 🫣 but i will tell you more about this in my next post because i don't want to make this a/n long so see you there vroooom vroooom
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𝓼eo 𝓬hangbin x 𝓰𝒻.ᐟreader wc: 3.4k ˎˊ˗ ᵎᵎ smut ᵎᵎ ꒰ 18+ ꒱ « soft dom bin » ⸝⸝⸝ pinned down 𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃 kysa's catalogue
changbin was the sweetest boyfriend you've ever had. his love for you spoke in more ways than one, woven effortlessly into the quiet spaces of your everyday life.
he was the kind of partner who showered you with sudden hugs from behind and soft, lingering kisses on your temple, as if loving you came to him as naturally as breathing.
he possessed an innate ability to make you laugh, a deep, rumbling chuckle of his own pulling you back to earth whenever sadness became too heavy a weight to bear.
he took pride in pampering you, routinely standing over the stove to cook your absolute favorite meals from scratch, and always surprising you with the little things you loved just to see your eyes light up.
so when your best friend called after what felt like an absolute eternity, you naturally had to fill her in on every single detail of your life. she had only ever met him once, a brief and slightly chaotic introduction right after the two of you had officially started going out together, and she’d been practically begging for a proper update ever since.
the conversation started off normal enough, a flurry of catching up and exchanging casual life updates, but the comfortable rhythm didn't last long before she slyly guided the topic exactly where you knew it would inevitably go.
"so... what about... you know... " your friend said, trailing off suggestively as her voice dropped into a whisper. you could practically imagine her smirking behind the screen.
"what about what ?" you asked, a small smile already tugging at your lips as you settled yourself into the quiet corner of the hallway.
your best friend heaved a sigh, knowing very well that she would have to spell it out for you.
"what about his dick game, babes ? i mean, let's be real — the man literally looked like he'd fuck the living daylight out of you." she giggling slyly.
oh god, this woman —
a fierce, instant blush creeped up your neck as you recalled your first time with changbin. your mind immediately drifted back to that night — the soft glow of the lamp, the quiet hum of the room, and the way his massive, heavily muscled frame had hovered over yours with an almost impossible lightness. he was so soft, treating you as if you were precious, handling you with utmost care, with all the gentleness you deserved.
you remembered his large, calloused hands tracking down your sides with a touch so gentle it made you ache, his deep voice whispering sweet, reverent promises against your skin as he slowly made love to you.
and that's how it had been every single time since. changbin made soft love with you, anchoring you with his affection, and you loved him for it.
"honestly ? it's not like that at all," you laughed softly, leaning your head back against the wall as the warmth in your cheeks deepened. "he’s actually incredibly sweet with me. so gentle and attentive. he treats me like i'm the most precious thing in the world, always taking his sweet time."
"seriously ?" she gasped, a playful, high-pitched laugh filtering through the line. "i mean, that's adorable and you totally deserve it." then she sing songed "but look at the size of him. he looks like the type who would just completely pin you down, lock you in place, and take absolute control, and you're telling me he's just a big softie ?"
your throat suddenly went completely dry.
you had always adored how tenderly he handled you, but her unfiltered words instantly sparked a vivid, flashing image in your mind that you had genuinely never considered before.
changbin... using his actual strength.
changbin... totally dominating the space
changbin... letting go of his tight restraint, and locking you down helplessly under his heavy weight.
a sudden, heavy wave of heat pooled low in your stomach, making your thighs press together instinctively.
"i mean — yeah, he really is a softie," you murmured, your voice dropping a little as your eyes drifted toward the kitchen doorway.
you bit your lower lip, watching his massive silhouette through the frame. "i never really thought about him like that. he’s just always so careful because he loves me. but — hearing you say it, god — that actually sounds... really good."
"right ? trust me, there is no way a guy built like that doesn't know exactly how to take charge," she teased, clearly enjoying the breathless hitch in your reaction.
"anyway, babes, i've gotta run — let's catch up in person soon ! i'll get you those chocolates you love."
"i'll hold you onto that ! " you giggled, "let's meet soon, babes." you spoke, lowering the phone but keeping it pressed tight against your chest as you hung up.
your heart was hammering a frantic, erratic rhythm against your ribs. you adored his sweetness — it was your favorite thing about him — but now that the image of a dominant, unyielding changbin was planted in your head, it refused to leave.
it was hot, intoxicating, and it made you crave something you hadn't even realized you were missing. you wanted to see that side of him. you wanted to know what it felt like to completely lose control to him.
you slowly walked over to the kitchen threshold, leaning your shoulder against the wooden frame to watch him finish up dinner.
changbin was standing by the stove, his back completely turned to you. he was wearing a simple, fitted black tank top — an absolute crime of a shirt that did nothing to hide the sheer breadth of his shoulders, or the thick heavy taper of his waist.
every time he moved, the dense muscle of his back shifted beautifully under the fabric, his heavy biceps flexing with the slightest movement. he was pure, raw power, built like a brick wall and capable of easily lifting you with a single hand.
but as you stood there taking him in, you noticed the rhythm of his cooking had completely stopped.
his large hands were resting flat on the counter, and those wide shoulders were locked tight. a sharp, undeniable line of tension ran straight down his spine.
the warm, crinkling smile that always softened his fierce silhouette was completely missing. instead, his jaw was set so hard a muscle ticked in his cheek, and his dark eyes were hooded, fixed entirely on yours with a heavy, dangerous intensity you had never seen directed at you before. it made your chest tighten instantly, your breath catching in your throat.
"binnie ?" you asked softly, a sudden flutter of nerves mixing with the deep, heavy ache in your belly. "is everything okay ?"
slowly, deliberately, he turned around.
he didn't say a word. he just reached down and slowly clicked the stove knob off, cutting the low hum of the flame. the sudden silence in the apartment made your pulse spike.
he took one slow, heavy step toward you, then another, his massive frame completely crowding your vision as he shut down the remaining distance between you until he was looming over you.
"who was that on the phone baby ?" his voice dropped an octave, a low, gravelly rumble so deep it vibrated straight against your ribs.
"just... my best friend," you breathed, your spine pressing flush against the doorframe as he stepped directly into your personal space, his heat radiating off him in waves.
"and what exactly is it that sounds so good ?" changbin didn't touch you yet, but his massive shadow completely buried you against the wall.
his gaze dropped to your lips, tracking the way they parted as you gasped, then locked back onto your eyes, fierce and unblinking. "something about me pinning you down ? wanting to see me take control ?"
a fierce rush of blood turned your cheeks completely crimson. he had heard every single word.
"i was just talking to her, i didn't think —"
"you think i don't want to ?" he cut you off, his voice dropping even lower, rough, dominant, and commanding. he finally reached out, his thick, calloused fingers gripping your chin with an absolute authority that forced your head back, making you look directly into his dark gaze.
"i spend every single second with you keeping my hands light because i love you so much. i play nice and hold myself back because you're the most precious thing in the world to me. but if you're standing out there admitting that you want me to take charge..."
his thumb pressed firmly against your lower lip, forcing your mouth open slightly as his eyes darkened completely, stripping away the gentle boyfriend act entirely. "if you're ready to see that side of me, princess, you better be ready for the weight of it."
before you could even draw a breath to reply, changbin’s hands slid down, locking like iron bands right beneath your thighs. with one sharp, effortless pull, he hoisted you completely off the kitchen floor. you gasped, your hands flying to his broad shoulders as your legs instinctively caught around his thick waist.
he slammed your back hard against the hallway wall, his dense chest pressing you so hard into the plaster you could feel the heavy, erratic thud of his heart matching your own.
"changbin—"
"quiet," he muttered, nipping fiercely at your bottom lip, a sharp, possessive bite that had you whining against his mouth. his large fingers dug deep into the flesh of your thighs, anchoring you firmly against his hips so you could feel the rigid proof of how much he wanted you.
"you wanted to see what it's like when i take control. you got it. from right now, you don't get to ask me to slow down, and you don't get a break. you're entirely mine tonight. understand ?"
you could only nod, your fingers clutching blindly at the fabric of his tank top, completely consumed by the heavy, dominant heat radiating off him. a slow, satisfied smirk broke the hard line of his face as he carried you effortlessly down the dark hall toward the bedroom.
changbin placed you on the bed, the mattress bouncing under you as you found him looking at you. his eyes still carried the same love for you, just dipped in a need that had surfaced after hearing those words falling from your lips.
he had heard you whispering under your breath, as if the mere thought had your brain reeling.
"pin m-me down.... t-take absolute control ?"
and hearing you say those words ? it had already altered his brain chemistry.
his pretty pillow princess wanted to be pinned down ? wanted to be dominated ? wanted to be controlled ?
oh, he could absolutely do that for you.
before you could process any movement, your legs are splayed wide open and in between them, sat kneeling your boyfriend.
"you wanted to be controlled ? you'll get what you ask for princess."
as your dress got hiked up, changbin pulled your panties aside and in an instant, two thick fingers filled your pussy. a loud, broken gasp tore from your throat, your back instantly arching off the sheets.
it was so sudden. so thick.
you weren't used to him being this blunt, this heavy, and the sheer fullness of him stretching you open made your mind go completely blank. your hands flew straight to his chest, fingers twisting into his black tank top just to stay grounded.
"changbin, h-ha..." you breathed out, your hips shuddering completely against his knuckles.
"fuck — soaking f'me baby ? didn't know princess wanted to lose control that bad — just lay pretty for me now hm ? i'm gonna take so good care of you."
he didn't even give you time to answer. his other hand came down flat against your stomach, his heavy palm anchoring you down into the mattress. he didn't lean away — he loomed right over you, his broad chest blocking out the entire bedroom, trapping you completely under his massive frame.
then, he started to move.
he pushed his fingers in deep, curling them hard against your sweet spot with a relentless, heavy rhythm. you let out a high whine, your heels digging into the mattress as you tried to move with him, but his grip on your waist tightened, locking you completely in place. he was a literal wall of muscle between your thighs, utterly unbothered by how much you were trembling beneath him.
"look at you," changbin rumbled, his voice dropping into that dark, gravelly register that made your core clench. his eyes were hooded, fixed entirely on your face as he watched your cheeks flush, your lips part, and your eyes flutter shut. "so tight for me. you love this, don't you ?"
"y-yes... bin, please," you whimpered, completely helpless against the friction, the heavy ache inside you building so fast it was making your vision blur.
"i'm not letting you go yet," he whispered, leaning down until his lips brushed the sensitive skin of your neck, his fingers driving into you faster, harder, completely overriding your senses. "you wanted absolute control, princess. now just stay still and take it for me."
you clawed onto his thick biceps, completely drunk on the pleasure of this new persona of his. but there was one thing you were still craving. his cock.
"bin — fuck please — nghhh"
changbin curled his fingers deep, his fingertips directly kissing the spongy part in your sopping pussy, cupping it in place making you squirm helplessly against his heavy hand.
"what princess ? you saying something ?"
"mmmpf fuck bin — n-need your cock — p-please baby"
"as you wish princess," he said.
his clothes were quickly forgotten, discarded blindly in the dark room until he stood between your legs again. the thick mushroom tip of his cock slightly nestled between your puffy folds, twitching against your heat.
"you wanted to be pinned, princess ? now take it like a good girl, hm ?"
changbin's hands came down, locking like iron bands around your wrists and pinning them securely above your head, completely trapping you beneath him. before you could even catch your breath, he thrust his cock into you in one full go.
jesus fucking christ.
you were so full, every single nerve of yours screaming his name. the feeling was entirely too overwhelming, a pure, stretching ache that completely shattered your mind. he was buried right up to the hilt, the blunt tip kissing your cervix as you arching your back off the sheets.
"ahhh! f-fuck, bin—ngh-ahhh... yes, right there!" you screamed out, a loud, breathless moan tearing from your throat, your toes curling tight into the mattress.
"fuck, you're so warm," changbin groaned, his voice dropping into a rough, feral rumble as he held your wrists down harder, his massive frame heaving against yours.
the heavy, unyielding weight of him came down fully, burying you beneath his chest as he began to move. there was no hesitation this time, no holding back. changbin held your wrists pinned tight above your head, his thick fingers locking you down effortlessly as he pulled back and drove right back into you, hard and deep.
the bed frame groaned against the wall with the sudden, bruising force of his first real thrust.
he was absolutely railing you into the mattress, a relentless, heavy rhythm that had your hips shaking and your head banging back into the pillows with every single strike. he was pure, dense power, his massive thighs crashing against yours with a loud, wet smack that echoed through the quiet bedroom.
his cock drove into you again.
and again.
and again.
it was a brutal, unyielding pace, stretching you out completely until each of his thick veins was deeply imprinted on your gummy walls. the friction was intense, a white-hot spark traveling straight from your core to your brain.
"oh fuck... mmmh, b-bin —" you broke apart under him, your head tossing wildly on the pillow as you tried to swallow the thick wave of heat rolling over you. "too much, it's — nghh — too good..."
"look at me," changbin growled, a low, demanding rumble against your ear that had your eyes flying open. his face was flushed, his jaw tight, but his gaze was still dripping with that same fierce affection. he leaned down, pressing a hard, possessive kiss to your lips before drawing back to look deep into your eyes. "look at me, princess. you are whose tonight, hm ? tell me."
"y-yours... ah ! fuck, i'm yours !"
"damn right," he groaned, his eyes darkening as he gripped your wrists even tighter, pinning them flush against the headboard while he threw his weight into another brutal, deep thrust that hit your sweet spot perfectly.
you let out a loud, shattered moan, your entire body trembling as he completely took over your senses, driving you straight to heaven.
he was fucking you so well, so incredibly hard, but even in the middle of the rough, bruising pace, his touch carried that undeniable soft-dom care. his chest rubbed against yours, his large body completely enveloping you, protecting you from the very pace he was creating between your legs.
"you're mine, yea ? my pretty princess," changbin whispered roughly, his breath hot and ragged against your neck as he nipped at your pulse point, his hips never slowing down for a single second. "i've wanted you like this for so long. take it all for me, baby. just take it."
he didn't give you a single second to recover. his hips kept pounding into yours, a steady, punishing heat that had your inner muscles clamping around him in tight, desperate waves. he kept your arms locked up high, using his absolute physical dominance to set the pace, making sure you felt every single ounce of his massive frame.
he was completely taking control, pinning you down so hard you couldn't move an inch, forcing you to just lay pretty and absorb the sheer size of him. you were right on the edge, your whole body wound up so tight it ached, completely helpless under the weight of his relentless thrusts.
"bin — i'm gonna... f'fuck, i'm crashing," you sobbed out, your fingers clutching blindly at the sheets as your hips tilted up instinctively, begging for that final push.
"cum for me, princess, drench my cock." he commanded, his voice raw and completely frayed.
he picked up the pace, his thick thighs slamming into yours even harder, driving deep and fast into your slick heat. that was the breaking point. your core clenched around him violently as a massive, blinding orgasm tore through you. you screamed his name, your eyes rolling back as your entire body shook with the release, your inner walls squeezing him in tight, rhythmic spasms.
hearing you shatter under him was exactly what pushed him over. changbin let out a deep, guttural growl, his muscles locking tight as he drove inside you one last time, burying himself to the absolute hilt. his head buried into the crook of your neck, his chest heaving violently as he filled you completely, his own release hitting him so hard his whole massive frame trembled against yours.
he stayed there for a long moment, buried deep inside you, his heartbeat hammering a frantic rhythm right against your chest as the aftershocks slowly rippled through both of you.
finally, he let out a long, ragged breath and eased himself down, pulling out of you with a soft grunt and collapsing onto the mattress right beside you. the heavy, intense friction was gone, leaving your body tingling and completely spent as you both tried to catch your breath in the quiet room.
changbin rolled onto his side, tugging you close until your back was flush against his chest. his big arms wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you into his warmth as he pressed a soft, lingering kiss to the back of your neck. all that heavy, dominant energy had completely vanished, replaced by the familiar, sweet boyfriend who just wanted to hold you.
he rubbed his hand up and down your side, his touch gentle as he looked down at your dazed face. a lazy, playful smirk tugged at his lips.
"so what next ? you want to be manhandled ?"
well, that does sound nice, doesn't it ?
kysa's note: here with the first bin fic and i became very passionate about this (edited this too many times so i'm just finally putting it out) lemme know what you think about it, xoxo !
Summary: Everything was going great with Han... Until management gets involved.
Warnings: a lotta angst but happy ending (for real this time)
Word count: 13.2k.
a/n: AYO THANK YOU ALL FOR THE LOVE ON GAMEBOY WHAT THE HECK I LOVE YOU GUYS?? As I warned, this is heckin angsty but it's got a happy ending xo
[Part One]
“Han, stop!” you squealed as he dug his fingers into your sides under the duvet.
“Never!” he proclaimed, rolling on top of you to get a better angle. “Not until you say it!”
“Okay, okay! You’re way better at producing than Changbin!”
You gasped for breath as his fingers stopped, a smile plastered to your face as you gazed up at him, his messy hair framing his face. You still had to pinch yourself sometimes to believe that this was real. That the past few months had really happened.
He raised an eyebrow at you, smirking, and you flushed as he trailed off, knowing what he wanted.
“You’re way better at producing than Changbin… baby.”
Your flush deepened even further as his smirk softened and he leaned down to place a tender kiss on your lips, mumbling a soft “thought so”.
You huffed out a breath as he let his body weight drop on you, wrapping his arms around your waist as your own came up to wrap around his shoulders, one sneaking up to play with the hair at the base of his neck. You loved starting your days like this, in the quiet of your room with Han’s warmth warming you through, because you knew you wouldn’t be able to get this close to him again until you could be sure that no one would see.
Even though you’d been dating for a few months, neither of you had brought up the possibility of becoming official publicly. You knew that Han had a tour coming up with the rest of Stray Kids, and he knew that you were busy focusing on building your own career as a solo artist. He’d carried on helping you produce your songs, and both of you had written a song about your previous relationship with Wooyoung called Toxic Til The End. You both agreed that it was a song that didn’t necessarily need to be shared; it was just a form of therapy for you to get your feelings out in a song.
You’re brought out of your thoughts by Han shuffling around, burying his nose into your neck. You smiled softly and soothed your fingers up and down his spine, feeling him shiver slightly from your light touch. You knew you had to get up soon – management had called a last-minute meeting – but you wanted to soak up as much of the morning as you could.
You allowed yourself five more minutes before you tapped him lightly on the back, mumbling, “Jisung, I have to get ready now. I need to meet with management in an hour.”
You felt as much as heard the groan against your neck. “No,” he whined. “’m comfy here.”
You chuckled and kissed the side of his face. “I know, but I can’t miss this meeting. I can’t annoy management this early in my career.”
Han sighed and pushed up onto his elbows, showing you his pout. “Logic isn’t fair this early in the morning.”
“Maybe not, but it’s the only way I’ll leave this bed.”
You flushed again as he smiled at you suggestively, leaning in to leave a lingering kiss on your mouth. You pulled away as he tried to deepen it and giggled as you heard him groan, again. You pushed back the covers, stretching, before you swung your legs over the side of the bed. Han was still lying in your bed, but you could feel his eyes on you.
You nearly trip over your own feet walking to the bathroom, still hazy from the peace and warmth of Jisung’s body tangled with yours moments before. The apartment is quiet except for the distant hum of traffic outside and the rustle of sheets behind you as Han shifts in the bed.
You push your way into the bathroom, yawning as you flick the light on, but your eyes widen when you catch sight of your neck.
“Oh my God.”
Dark marks bloom across your neck and collarbone, impossible to miss against your skin. One particularly obvious love bite sits right beneath your jaw, and you clap a hand over it in horror.
“No, no, no—”
You spin around and rush back into the bedroom, one hand still pressed to your neck while you dig frantically through discarded clothes for a hoodie, a scarf, anything. From the bed, Han watches you with sleepy amusement, propped up on one elbow, hair messy and lips still swollen from his inability to stop kissing you.
“What are you doing?” he asks, voice still rough from lack of sleep.
“You attacked me,” you accuse, horrified. “I can’t go outside looking like this!”
He blinks at you slowly before snorting out a laugh. “Attacked you?”
“Yes, attacked me! People are going to ask questions!”
You finally find a jumper and clutch it to your chest like salvation. Han’s smile softens as he watches your panic spiral.
“And what,” he says carefully, “would be so bad about people asking questions?”
You freeze, and the room suddenly feels very still. Han sits up properly now, the blanket slipping down his waist to reveal his tattoos as he rubs the back of his neck, suddenly looking far more nervous than amused.
“I mean…” He glances away for half a second before meeting your eyes again. “We’ve been hiding for so long.” His voice is quieter now. “I’m tired of pretending you’re not mine.”
Your heart stutters painfully in your chest. “Ji…”
“I want people to know,” he admits. “Not in some huge dramatic way. But… officially.” He smiles shyly. “If you want that too.”
The panic draining through your system is replaced by something warm and dizzying. You stare at him for a moment, trying to process the fact that the thing you’d secretly wanted for months is sitting right in front of you.
“You mean it?” you whisper.
“Of course I mean it.”
He reaches for your hand, thumb brushing across your knuckles. “I hate having to act normal around you in public,” he murmurs. “I hate not being able to hold your hand when I want to. And honestly? I kinda like everyone knowing I’m the one who did that to your neck.”
You let out a startled laugh, shoving his shoulder lightly. “You’re unbelievable.”
“But you like me.”
Unfortunately, he says it with that smug little grin that makes your stomach flip every time.
Your expression softens. “I do,” you admit quietly, head cocked to the side as you take everything in.
Han’s face changes instantly at that — all fondness and relief and affection so overwhelming you can barely stand looking at him.
“So…” he says carefully, squeezing your hand, “should we tell management?”
You bite your lip, unable to stop smiling now.
“I have my meeting this morning,” you say. “I can mention it then.”
His eyes light up so brightly that it steals the breath from your lungs. “Seriously?”
You nod once, and before you can say anything else, he’s pulling you back onto the bed with a laugh, wrapping both arms around you tightly as he buries his face back into your neck — thankfully, the unmarked side.
“You have no idea how happy you just made me,” he mumbles against your skin.
You melt into him, fingers threading through his hair. For the first time ever, hiding doesn’t feel necessary anymore.
The excitement you carried from your conversation with Han dies the second you walk out of the meeting room.
The words still echo in your head so loudly you can barely hear anything else.
“To be desirable, you have to be available.”
You walk down the hallway numbly, fingers curled tightly around your phone. The fluorescent lights overhead feel too bright, and the building suddenly feels cold and unfamiliar, despite the fact that you’ve spent years here.
Your contract clearly states that there will be no relationships for the next 3 years.
Three years.
You knew the clause existed when you signed. Everyone did. But back then, relationships felt hypothetical — something distant and avoidable. Not this. Not Han. Not someone who had somehow slipped into every quiet space in your life until loving him felt as natural as breathing.
You’d tried to argue. You’d pointed out that fans weren’t stupid, that idols dated all the time, that your private life shouldn’t matter more than your music, but management hadn’t budged. They’d surprised you with a tour announcement that was apparently too important to jeopardise. The company was investing too much into your debut, and they were sending you as a support act for Stray Kids’ world tour. They wanted attention on the music, on the performances, on the image they were selling.
Not on a relationship.
You stop outside the studio door and take a steadying breath before pushing it open. Music spills out instantly, along with laughter, and Han looks up immediately. The second he sees you, his entire face lights up.
“There you are!” Han practically bounces out of his chair, abandoning the headphones around his neck. “Did they tell you?”
You try to smile.
“About the tour?”
“Yes!” He grabs your hands immediately, excitement radiating off him. “We’re together for the whole thing. A whole year.” His eyes shine. “Can you believe that?”
Despite everything, your chest aches fondly at how happy he looks.
“A whole year,” you echo softly.
Han notices it then — the strain in your voice, the way your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
His expression falters, releasing your hands in favour of wrapping his arms around your waist. “What happened?”
The room quiets around you. The others pick up on the mood quickly enough to awkwardly busy themselves elsewhere, giving you space without saying a word.
You swallow hard, staring over his shoulder. “They said no.”
Han stills. “What?”
“They don’t want us going public.” Your voice comes out smaller than you intended, wobbly. “They said it’ll distract from the tour. From the music.” You laugh bitterly under your breath. “And apparently I need to seem ‘available.’”
The excitement drains from his face so fast it hurts to watch. “They can’t seriously—”
“They reminded me about the contract.”
Han goes silent at that, and his jaw tightens. For a moment, he looks genuinely angry, the kind of anger he rarely lets himself show. His fingers squeeze yours instinctively before he looks away, exhaling sharply through his nose.
“Three years,” he mutters.
You nod once.
The reality of it settles heavily between you. More sneaking around, careful touches when nobody’s looking. Pretending. Again.
Your throat tightens as you force yourself to say the words you know he needs to hear. “It’s okay.”
Han immediately looks back at you. “It’s not okay.”
“But it can be.” You step closer, further into his embrace, and you feel his arms tighten around you reflexively. “We still get the tour. We still get each other.”
His expression crumples slightly at that.
“I wanted to hold your hand in public,” he admits quietly. “I wanted to stop pretending.”
The honesty in his voice nearly breaks you. You reach up and smooth his hair back gently, tucking it behind his ear. It was getting long now… I need to hide the scissors, you thought distractedly.
“We will one day.”
Han leans into your touch instinctively, eyes closing for half a second.
“When?” he asks softly.
You don’t have an answer, so instead, you wrap your own arms around him tightly, trying to pour all of your frustration and care into the hug. You feel him doing the same, and the studio around you fades away completely.
“A year together,” you murmur against his shoulder, trying desperately to sound hopeful. “That’s still good, right?”
Han lets out a quiet laugh that sounds dangerously close to sad.
“Yeah,” he whispers. “Yeah. It’s good.”
He pulls back just enough to look at you properly again, determination slowly replacing the disappointment in his eyes. “We’ll make it work.”
You nod immediately. “We will.”
Because even if the world isn’t allowed to know yet, the truth remains the same.
He’s yours, and you’re his.
And you would wait however long you needed to.
Getting ready for the event should have been fun and, honestly, part of it is.
This is your first major industry event as a solo artist. Your stylists fuss around you excitedly, management keeps reminding you how important networking is, and every few minutes, someone says something about how proud they are of how far you’ve come. But every time you look at the empty space beside you, your chest aches a little.
Because you should be arriving with Han.
Instead, you’re travelling separately, pretending there’s nothing between you except professional respect for the producer who has been working with you for months. Your phone buzzes just as your car pulls up outside the venue.
Ji 🐿️: where are you?
You: just got here, coming in now
Ji 🐿️: i’ll find you
Ji 🐿️: don’t look too pretty before i get there jagi
You can’t help smiling at the screen.
Then the car door opens, and reality crashes back in.
The event hall is enormous. Lights flash constantly from every direction as reporters crowd the entrance, shouting names over one another. Idols stand clustered beneath company banners while managers hover nearby like anxious shadows. Everywhere you look, there’s movement, designer clothes, cameras, and recognisable faces. It’s overwhelming, and you’ve never felt more out of place.
You bow politely through introductions you barely process before escaping deeper into the hall with a drink in hand, hoping to gather yourself and maybe spot Han. You linger near the edge of the room, trying not to look as lost as you feel while your eyes scan the crowd. No Han. No Stray Kids, either. You exhale slowly and take a sip of your drink as your eyes continue to wander, then you make eye contact with someone across the room and freeze, dread pooling in your stomach.
Oh no.
Wooyoung.
You haven’t seen him since the breakup. Months of carefully avoiding interviews, schedules, mutual industry events — and now here he is, walking directly toward you with that familiar confident smile that used to charm you once upon a time.
Now it just irritates you.
“Well,” Wooyoung says smoothly as he stops beside you, “there’s the superstar.”
You force a polite smile, conscious of the people around you. “Hi.”
“You look good.”
“Thanks.”
The conversation should end there, but instead, he lingers - too close. Too familiar.
“How’ve you been?” he asks, voice softening slightly. “Haven’t heard from you in a while.”
You almost laugh at the understatement. “I’ve been busy.”
“I noticed.” His eyes flick over you knowingly. “Solo career suits you.”
Something about the way he says it makes you uncomfortable immediately. You shift slightly away from him and glance around the room again, looking for a way out of the conversation. You finally find Han across the hall, and your heart drops as you notice that his eyes are already locked onto you. Or, more specifically, onto Wooyoung standing far too close to you.
Even from this distance, you can see the fury written across his face.
Beside him, Lee Know has a hand wrapped firmly around his arm, clearly muttering something meant to stop him from storming across the room. Your heart lurches, and you subtly widen your eyes at Han, trying desperately to communicate: Don’t. Not here. Not now. Not in front of cameras.
Han’s jaw tightens visibly. You turn your back slightly toward him, hoping Wooyoung won’t notice the exchange. Unfortunately for you, he’d decided that now is the time to finally pay attention to everything again.
“You’re nervous,” Wooyoung says quietly.
“I’m not.”
“Mhm.”
You frown harder. “What do you want?”
His expression shifts then — less charming, more smug.
“I heard rumours,” he says casually. “About you and Han.”
Your blood runs cold. “They’re rumours.”
Wooyoung hums like he doesn’t believe you for a second.
“Funny,” he says, stepping closer again. “You never looked at me the way you look at him.”
Before you can answer, another voice cuts in sharply.
“Maybe because she actually likes me.”
Your stomach flips, and your eyes dart sideways. Han. He’s standing beside you now, expression controlled but visibly strained underneath it. Up close, you can tell he’s trying very hard not to lose his temper.
Wooyoung straightens immediately, then smirks. “Well, if it isn’t the problem.”
Han laughs once without humour. “Pretty sure you’re the one bothering her.”
You step between them slightly before this becomes a headline. “Can we not do this here?”
Wooyoung ignores you completely.
“You know,” he says to Han, “she used to talk about me constantly.”
Han’s expression darkens.
“And now she doesn’t,” he replies flatly.
Wooyoung scoffs softly. “You really think this is permanent? Idols break up all the time.”
Your patience snaps.
“Wooyoung.” Both men look at you, and you carry on regardless, struggling to keep your composure. “I am never getting back together with you,” you say firmly. “Ever.”
The arrogance on Wooyoung’s face falters slightly, but you continue before he can interrupt.
“I’m happy now. Happier than I’ve been in a long time.” Your voice softens instinctively as you glance toward Han. “And I love being with him.”
You smile softly at your boyfriend, and Han looks at you like you’ve hung the stars in the sky. The anger melts from his face completely, replaced by something so unbearably soft your chest aches. You’re snapped from your moment by an unknown voice.
“Can we get a picture?”
All three of you turn to see a reporter hurrying over excitedly.
“Just one photo! The fans would love it.”
Absolutely not. You open your mouth to refuse, but somehow you end up shuffled between Wooyoung and Han before you can escape. Cameras flash instantly. You try not to look horrified. Han remains perfectly composed beside you, though you can feel tension radiating off him. Wooyoung, annoyingly, smiles like this is entertaining.
The picture is taken quickly, and you breathe a sigh of relief.
“Thank you!” the reporter chirps before disappearing again.
Wooyoung steps away first, but before leaving, he glances at you one last time.
“I don’t give up easily,” he says lightly, before walking off into the crowd.
You stare after him in disbelief, and Han immediately turns toward you.
“Are you okay?”
The concern in his voice instantly softens your irritation.
“I’m fine,” you assure him quietly. “Are you?”
He exhales slowly. “Ask me again tomorrow.”
You laugh despite yourself. Han smiles faintly before glancing around the room cautiously. Cameras still flash everywhere.
“I should probably go before someone notices I’ve been standing here too long.”
Your heart sinks a little, but you nod. Before leaving, his fingers brush subtly against yours — hidden by the folds of your outfit where nobody can see. A secret touch, a reassurance, just for the two of you.
Then he’s gone.
But for the rest of the evening, you notice little things. Chan appears nearby whenever reporters crowd you too aggressively. Changbin casually intercepts people trying to pull you into uncomfortable conversations. Minho is watching the room like a security guard.
And Han is always somewhere in your line of sight, hovering close enough to protect you, even if nobody else notices why.
And honestly? You love him a little more for it.
You’re getting really sick and tired of last-minute meetings, especially when the meeting feels less like damage control and more like punishment.
You sit silently at the long conference table while management talks at you rather than to you, every word tightening the knot in your stomach further.
“You were too obvious.”
“Han almost caused a scene.”
“You need to be more careful.”
You grip your hands together beneath the table hard enough for your nails to hurt. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”
One of the executives sighs impatiently. “The issue isn’t whether you did something wrong. The issue is perception.”
Perception. Image. Marketability. Words that, at one point, felt incredibly important to you now leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
“The media response to the event has been overwhelming,” another manager continues. “Too many people are speculating about you and Han.”
You almost laugh. “Well, maybe if you let us just confirm the relationship—”
“No.”
The answer comes immediately, their tone firm, final. Your jaw clenches as you try to resist the urge to argue with them.
“We need attention redirected,” they continue. “And conveniently, the event already created another angle.”
Your stomach drops before they even say his name. “No.”
“You haven’t heard the plan yet.”
“I don’t need to.”
But they continue anyway. “Wooyoung is willing to cooperate.”
Cooperate.
Like this is business. Like you’re his business.
“You’ll be seen together casually over the next few weeks,” management explains. “Coffee shops. Restaurants. Shared exits after schedules. Nothing confirmed, nothing denied.”
You stare at them in horror as you realise what they’re implying.
“You… want me to fake-date my ex-boyfriend?”
“No,” one corrects smoothly. “We want people talking about possibilities besides Han.”
You push your chair back slightly in disbelief, wanting to create space between their words and yourself. “This is insane.”
“It’s strategic.”
“It’s cruel.”
The room goes quiet for a moment before the head executive says, “It’s necessary.”
You hate how powerless you feel.
“You don’t understand,” you say quietly. “Han already hates this.”
“Then he’ll need to learn professionalism.”
The anger that flashes through you is immediate and sharp.
“He is professional.”
“Then this shouldn’t be a problem.”
You want to scream. Instead, you sit there in silence because you already know how this ends. You already know that the decision is made, and you have no choice but to accept for the sake of your contract and your career. For your future.
They all feel like they are balanced carefully above your head, like something fragile enough to shatter at the slightest mistake.
And for Han and your future together… you’d survive anything. Even this.
Later that night, your apartment feels unbearably quiet. Half-packed suitcases sit open across your bedroom floor while clothes spill from drawers and skincare products clutter every available surface.
The tour starts tomorrow, and normally, you’d be excited. Instead, dread curls heavily in your stomach. Behind you, Han lies across your bed, scrolling absentmindedly through his phone, one leg dangling off the edge.
“You’re overpacking,” he says lightly without looking up.
“I am not.”
“You packed three hoodies yesterday.”
“They’re different hoodies.”
Han snorts softly, and the sound makes your chest ache because for a few minutes, everything feels normal. Safe. And you’re about to ruin it.
You stop folding your clothes, take a deep breath and call to him, “Jisung.”
He glances up immediately. Something in your face makes him sit up slightly, eyebrows drawing together in concern. “What’s wrong?”
You suddenly can’t look at him. Management’s words replay in your head over and over until you feel sick.
“They want me to do damage control.”
Han frowns. “What does that mean?”
Your throat tightens. “They think people are talking too much about us after the event.”
His expression hardens instantly. “So?”
You force yourself to continue. “They want me to be seen with someone else.”
He stares at you as he tries to figure out what you mean. You can see the moment the penny drops and understanding dawns slowly across his face.
“No.”
You nod once miserably, shoulders hunching in on yourself.
“No,” he repeats, sharper now.
“They think it’ll distract people.”
“With who?”
You hesitate too long, and Han knows immediately who you’ve been set up with. You can see the anger on his face as he stares at you.
“You’re joking.”
“I tried to argue—”
“Wooyoung?” He actually laughs, but there’s nothing amused about it. “They want you photographed with your ex-boyfriend?”
“It won’t be official—”
“That’s even worse.”
You watch hurt replace anger in real time, and you find yourself struggling to make eye contact. You hated hurting him, couldn’t stand the guilt that was beginning to take over.
You panic as Jisung stands abruptly from the bed.
“So what? I’m just supposed to watch headlines about you and another guy for months?”
“It’s fake.”
“I know it’s fake!” he snaps.
The room falls silent instantly afterwards, and Han closes his eyes briefly, visibly trying to calm himself down. You’ve rarely seen him this upset. Even when you hurt him months ago, he hadn’t looked this angry.
“I can’t do this tonight,” he mutters finally.
Your chest tightens painfully as he grabs his hoodie from the chair. You try to stop him.
“Ji—”
“I just need air.”
He heads for the front door before you can stop him, and fear surges through you immediately. You rush after him barefoot, catching his wrist just as he reaches for the handle.
“Please don’t leave angry.”
He stills, and you can see the conflict written all over his face.
“I hate this too,” you whisper desperately. “I hate every part of it.”
He finally turns toward you, and he looks so hurt. Your eyes are already burning, but the pain on his face brings very real tears to your eyes.
“You think I want this?” Your voice cracks slightly. “You think I want to stand beside him pretending everything’s fine when all I want is to be with you?”
Han’s expression softens instantly at that, and you grip his hand tighter, begging him with your eyes to change his mind, to stay.
“I’m trying,” you say quietly. “I’m trying to protect everything.”
His shoulders sag slightly, and he looks down at your joined hands. For a long moment, neither of you speaks, but then Han steps closer again, and you feel a rush of hope.
“I know,” he murmurs.
You exhale shakily. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise for something they’re forcing you into.”
“But you’re hurt.”
“Yeah.” He gives a small, humourless laugh. “I am.”
Honesty always sounds gentler coming from him; it was something you’d always loved about him. He lifts a hand to your face, thumb brushing beneath your eye carefully.
“I’ll learn to deal with it,” he says quietly. “I have to, right?”
The words break your heart a little, but you have no choice but to nod weakly. He smiles softly, but it’s full of sadness. He leans down and kisses you softly, and your breath stutters. The kiss isn’t desperate or heated. It’s sad.
His forehead rests against yours afterwards. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he whispers, forcing himself to step away before either of you can change your minds.
The door closes softly behind him, and suddenly the apartment feels enormous. It’s too quiet, too empty without Jisung’s laughter filling the space. You slide slowly down against the wall until you’re sitting on the floor beside your front door, staring at the door he just walked through.
The tour hasn’t even started yet, and you’re already terrified of what all this might do to the two of you.
The dorm is quiet when Han gets back.
Most of the lights are off except for the kitchen, where Minho sits eating ice cream straight from the tub while scrolling through his phone like it’s two in the afternoon instead of nearly midnight.
He glances up as Han walks in, then pauses when he sees the look on his face.
“You look terrible.”
Han drops onto the chair opposite him with a groan, dragging both hands down his face. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Normally, the bluntness would earn a laugh. Tonight, Han just sits there staring blankly at the table.
Minho watches him quietly for a moment before setting the ice cream down. “What happened?”
Han exhales sharply through his nose. “They want her to do photo ops with Wooyoung.”
Minho’s eyebrows lift slightly. “Ah.”
“Ah?” Han repeats incredulously. “That’s your reaction?”
“I’m trying not to overreact before you finish explaining.”
Han slumps further into the chair before he tells him everything - the management meeting, the fake rumours, the “damage control.” How upset you looked while explaining it.
And, eventually, the thing that was actually eating him alive underneath all the anger.
“What if this changes things?” Han asks quietly.
Minho stays silent as he looks at him. Han stares down at the table, jaw tight, avoiding his probing gaze as he continues.
“What if people start shipping them again? What if management pushes it further? What if she gets tired of hiding and decides this is too difficult?”
The words spill out faster now, all the insecurities he’d tried so hard to swallow clawing their way free.
“I know she says she loves being with me, but this industry ruins things. You know it does.”
Minho studies him carefully for a long moment before he sighs softly and leans back in his chair. “Han-ah.”
Han looks up tiredly as Minho continues. “You know what this industry is like.”
“It’s not easy,” Minho says plainly. “It’s awful.” He takes another bite of ice cream. “But she’s no doubt miserable about it, too.”
Han goes quiet, and Minho waits a second before continuing, but more gently this time.
“Everyone can see how much she likes you.”
Han’s eyes flicker slightly at that, hallway light catching the sheen in his eyes.
“She looks at you like you hung the moon,” Minho says casually. “Honestly, it’s embarrassing sometimes.”
That finally earns the smallest snort of laughter from Han, and Minho points his spoon at him immediately, latching on to his better mood.
“I’m serious. She barely looked at Wooyoung last night unless she absolutely had to. But you?” He shakes his head. “You walk into a room, and suddenly she forgets how to act normally.”
Warmth stirs painfully in Han’s chest because underneath all his doubt, he knows it’s true. You do look at him differently… Like loving him is instinctive.
Minho softens slightly, seeing the tension ease from his face. “She told you there’s nothing to worry about, didn’t she?”
Han nods slowly.
“Then believe her.”
Silence settles between them for a moment.
Han leans back in the chair and stares at the ceiling, rubbing his face. “I hate that she has to go through this.”
“I know.”
“I hate that I can’t fix it.”
Minho hums quietly. “That part never really changes.”
Han closes his eyes briefly, thinking about what was coming. Tomorrow the tour starts. It would be months of hiding, of rumours, of pretending. But underneath it all is still you. You were still the girl who chased him to the door because she couldn’t stand the thought of him leaving upset. You were still the girl who said she was happy with him without hesitation.
You were still his.
Minho nudges the tub of ice cream toward him, holding his spoon out. “You’ll survive.”
Han looks at him flatly. “Your comforting skills are incredible, hyung.”
“I know.”
Despite himself, Han smiles faintly.
On the other side of town, you barely sleep. Every time your eyes close, your mind replays the look on Han’s face when he left your apartment. He was hurt but trying not to show it, trying to be understanding anyway.
By four in the morning, you give up on sleep entirely.
Your phone sits beside you on the bed the entire night, painfully silent. You don’t message him. Part of you wants to desperately — wants reassurance, wants him to tell you everything’s okay, wants to hear him call you baby in that sleepy voice that always melts the tension right out of you. But fear wins. Because what if he doesn’t answer? Or worse… What if he does, and it’s different?
By the time you’re in the car heading toward the airport, your stomach is twisted into knots so tight you feel nauseous. Tour is supposed to be exciting. Instead, all you can think is he’s going to break up with me. You hate yourself a little for thinking it, but anxiety doesn’t care about logic.
The airport is already chaotic when you arrive. Staff rush around organising luggage while security attempts to control the crowds gathered outside. Reporters swarm the main entrance, waiting for Stray Kids to arrive.
Your manager quickly ushers you toward the quieter back entrance.
“The boys are handling press out front,” they explain. “You’ll board separately.”
You nod numbly. Honestly, you’re relieved. You’re not sure you could survive pretending everything’s normal in front of Han right now.
You turn the corner and stop dead in your tracks. Wooyoung is leaning casually against the wall, waiting for you. Your heart sinks as soon as you make eye contact.
“Morning,” he says easily, a grin on his face.
Right. The photo ops. Just what you need.
Your manager brightens immediately at the sight of him. You, on the other hand, want to disappear. Instead, you force a tight smile and stand beside Wooyoung while cameras magically appear from seemingly nowhere. Questions get thrown at both of you while flashes explode in your face. You barely hear any of it. You just smile politely, nod occasionally. Pretend. Wooyoung plays the role naturally, leaning slightly closer once or twice for the cameras. You feel worse than you did in the car.
By the time you finally reach security, your chest feels tight with anxiety. It just gets worse when you look up and see Jisung. He’s standing further ahead with the rest of the members, cap pulled low over his eyes, hands shoved into his hoodie pocket, watching.
Your breath catches, and for one horrible second, you think he looks angry again. But when your eyes meet, he smiles. It’s small but soft. Reassuring.
He turns away as if nothing happened, but relief hits you so suddenly that your knees nearly give out.
He doesn’t hate you. He’s still here.
You spend the next ten minutes trying to steady your breathing as you follow the staff through the private boarding area. Exhaustion finally crashes over you all at once now that the panic is easing. You just want your seat, your headphones, and to catch up on some much-needed sleep.
You’re halfway down the corridor toward the plane when suddenly a hand grabs your wrist. You gasp in alarm as you’re quickly tugged sideways into the disabled bathroom nearby. The door clicks shut, and you spin around in panic before immediately sagging in relief.
“Jisung—”
Before you can say anything else, he pulls you tightly into his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he says immediately into your hair. “I’m so sorry.”
Your entire body melts against him in relief. “You scared me,” you whisper shakily. You both know you’re not just talking about now.
“I know.” His arms tighten around you. “I know, baby, I’m sorry.”
The endearment nearly makes you cry from sheer relief. He pulls back just enough to look at you properly and immediately frowns.
“You look exhausted.”
You laugh weakly. “Couldn’t sleep.”
Guilt flashes across his face instantly. “Because of me?”
You don’t answer fast enough, and he closes his eyes briefly, as if the confirmation physically pains him.
“I never wanted to be the reason you lost sleep,” he says quietly.
Your chest aches. “You weren’t,” you lie softly.
Jisung gives you a look that says he knows better.
For a moment, neither of you speaks. The airport noise outside feels distant compared to the tiny space you’re crammed into together.
He exhales slowly. “I was angry,” he admits. “Not at you. I swear.” His fingers tighten slightly against your waist. “I just hated seeing you dragged into all this because of me.”
“It’s not because of you.”
“It feels like it.”
You shake your head immediately. “I understand why you were upset.”
Han looks uncertain, and you smile sadly.
“If the situation were reversed and they wanted you photographed with an ex-girlfriend?” You huff softly. “I’d lose my mind.”
That finally pulls a small laugh from him. “Really?”
“Absolutely.”
His forehead drops gently against yours.
“I trust you,” he murmurs. “I just… need time to stop wanting to fight everyone.”
You laugh quietly despite yourself. “I noticed.”
Han groans softly. “Minho told me I was being dramatic.”
“He was right.”
“Wow. Betrayed by my own girlfriend.”
Girlfriend. The word settles warmly between you.
Your eyes soften immediately.
“I missed you,” you whisper suddenly, feeling embarrassed that it hadn’t even been 24 hours since you last saw him. You didn’t know how to explain that you missed the possible future without Jisung that your brain had fooled you into believing wouldn’t have been in your life.
Han’s expression melts completely. The exhaustion leaves his face all at once, replaced by something unbearably tender.
“I missed you, too.”
Then he kisses you.
Quick at first.
Gentle.
Like reassurance more than anything else.
But when your fingers clutch the front of his hoodie desperately, he kisses you again properly, warm and lingering and full of everything neither of you can say publicly.
When you finally pull apart, both of you are breathless.
“We should go before people notice,” you whisper reluctantly.
Han sighs dramatically.
“You’re always ruining my plans.”
“You dragged me into an airport bathroom.”
“And it worked, didn’t it?”
You laugh for real this time.
God, you missed him.
Han brushes one last thumb beneath your eye gently before opening the door carefully.
“Come on,” he murmurs softly. “Let’s go start our tour.”
Tour becomes the strangest contradiction of your life.
You’ve never been happier… And you’ve never been more exhausted by pretending.
Still, the moment you step onto the stage for your first performance as a soloist, everything else disappears. The crowd is deafening. Lights blind you the second the music starts, adrenaline surging so hard through your veins you almost forget to breathe. Thousands of people sing your lyrics back at you, your name echoing through the arena in a way that makes your chest ache with emotion. For those few minutes, you aren’t somebody’s girlfriend. You aren’t a scandal risk or a contract. You’re just you. And when you finish the final song to roaring applause, you nearly cry backstage from the overwhelming relief and joy of it all.
The first person you look for is Jisung. He catches you before you even properly make it behind the curtain, grabbing your face with both hands.
“You were incredible.”
His eyes are shining so brightly that you almost melt on the spot.
“I messed up the second verse.”
“You absolutely did not.”
“I did!”
“Nobody noticed because they were too busy falling in love with you.”
You snort out a laugh, cheeks burning, and he beams at you like he personally put the stars in the sky.
Later that night, after schedules finally finish and staff disappear to their own rooms, you unlock your hotel door expecting nothing more than a shower and sleep. Instead, your room is covered with candles. There’s soft music playing from a portable speaker set up in the corner, and rose petals are scattered across the white duvet.
You freeze in the doorway, confused, until you see him. Jisung stands near the table, looking suddenly nervous despite all the effort clearly put into this.
“Surprise?”
Your mouth falls open. “Ji…”
The look on your face makes him smile instantly.
A full dinner is laid out across the small hotel table — room service desserts, expensive wine neither of you particularly likes but thought looked romantic, and a tiny handwritten note propped beside your plate.
You stare at it all in disbelief and ask, “You did all this?”
“Well, I couldn’t exactly take you out publicly,” he says sheepishly. “So I improvised.”
Your chest hurts from how much you love him. You cross the room quickly and throw your arms around his neck without another thought. Han laughs softly as he catches you, holding you close.
“Was it too much?” he asks into your hair.
“No,” you whisper immediately. “It’s perfect.”
And honestly? It is, because even hidden away in a hotel room halfway through tour preparations, he still finds ways to love you loudly.
The next few weeks settle into something dangerously domestic.
You wake up tangled together almost every morning, warm hotel sheets twisted around your legs while sunlight creeps through the curtains. Han always tries to leave before the others wake up… He’s terrible at it.
One morning, you’re still half asleep when you watch him stumble around the room trying to find his hoodie with his hair sticking up in every direction.
“You look ridiculous,” you mumble into the pillow.
“I look stealthy.”
“You walked into the wardrobe five seconds ago.”
Han glares at you weakly before leaning down to kiss your forehead anyway. “Go back to sleep.”
You giggle quietly as he sneaks out into the hallway, looking thoroughly dishevelled and deeply suspicious. Somehow, nobody catches him. Or maybe the others just choose not to say anything. Unfortunately, though, outside those hotel rooms, reality still waits.
The “sightings” with Wooyoung continue exactly as management planned.
The park is first.
You wear your hair down specifically to hide the wireless earphones tucked carefully beneath it, one AirPod playing music quietly so you don’t actually have to talk to him. Paparazzi conveniently “spot” the two of you walking side by side beneath the trees near the hotel.
From the pictures, it probably looks peaceful. Romantic, even. In reality, you spend most of it staring ahead, pretending not to notice the cameras, while Wooyoung occasionally attempts conversation, which you barely respond to.
The second sighting at the coffee shop is worse.
By then, articles are already circulating online. Could there be something between them? Fans are constantly speculating after recent appearances. You want to scream every time you see them.
The café itself is tiny and crowded with photographers waiting outside the windows. You sit across from Wooyoung with a smile plastered painfully onto your face while barely saying more than three words the entire time.
“You really hate this, huh?” Wooyoung asks eventually, stirring his drink lazily.
You don’t even bother denying it.
“I told you already,” you say quietly. “I’m happily with someone.”
His expression dims slightly, though not enough. “Still him?”
You look up immediately. “Yes,” you answer firmly. “Still him.”
And despite everything — the cameras outside, the rumours online, the constant pressure weighing on your shoulders — your heart feels lighter saying it because every night still ends the same way.
Back in secret hotel rooms, in Han’s arms, with sleepy kisses in the dark and whispered words that nobody else gets to hear.
And for now, that’s enough.
The sighting that ruins it all is the one you least expected.
You were a month into tour, and exhaustion started creeping into everything.
The performances were the easy part. You loved being on stage. You loved the crowds, the adrenaline, and the feeling of slowly becoming more confident every single night. Supporting Stray Kids has become strangely natural too — backstage chaos, rehearsals, shared meals at ridiculous hours of the night.
It’s the pretending that’s exhausting. All the hiding, the constant calculations, the carefully timed entrances and exits from hotel rooms. The way your hand instinctively reaches for Han’s, only for you to stop yourself at the last second if someone’s nearby. And most of all… Wooyoung.
The fake sightings just keep happening. Management becomes relentless once the initial rumours start gaining traction online. Every few days, there’s another “accidental” encounter planned at a restaurant or on a walk. Sometimes it’s a shared ride or a conveniently photographed conversation outside venues.
You cancel as many as you can. You genuinely do. You use rehearsals as excuses. Vocal strain. Fittings. Meetings. Jet lag. Anything you can think of. But sometimes management refuses to budge, and apparently tonight is one of those nights.
“I’m just saying,” Jisung says from where he’s pacing your hotel room, frustration bleeding into every word, “it feels like you could push back harder.”
You stare at him in disbelief. “I have been pushing back harder.”
“Then why does it keep happening?”
“Because they don’t care what I want!”
The room falls silent for half a second, and he stops pacing. You instantly regret snapping, but the exhaustion sitting heavy in your chest makes it hard to soften yourself quickly enough.
“I know,” he says, quieter now. “I know they don’t.”
But he still looks upset. Still tense. Hurt.
Part of you understands. Every time another article comes out pairing your name with Wooyoung’s, you feel sick too. But another part of you is just tired - so unbelievably tired.
“I’m doing everything I can,” you say finally, rubbing at your face. “I’m trying to keep management happy enough not to ruin my career, I’m trying to survive my first tour, and I’m trying to keep our relationship together while nobody’s allowed to know it exists.”
His expression shifts immediately, and guilt flickers across his face.
“That’s not what I meant—”
“No, but that’s what it sounds like.” Your voice cracks slightly despite yourself. “Like I’m failing some test because I can’t magically make them stop.”
“You’re not failing.”
“Then stop acting like I’m choosing this!”
Jisung goes quiet, and the hurt on his face makes your anger falter instantly, but before either of you can fix it, there’s a knock on the door. Both of you freeze, and your stomach sinks immediately. The staff member assigned to ensure you make it on time is right on time. Another knock follows when you don’t answer, and a voice carries through the door.
“We need to leave in five minutes,” a staff member calls through the door.
The atmosphere in the room changes instantly. It’s back to reality, and back to pretending. Jisung looks devastated by it.
“Seriously?” he mutters bitterly.
You close your eyes briefly, feeling the faint pain of a headache building from your stress.
“I have to go.”
“I know, but—” He steps toward you immediately. “Can we not leave it like this?”
The frustration in his voice hurts more now because you know it isn’t anger anymore. It’s worry. You grab your bag silently, avoiding his eyes because if you look at him for too long, you might cry.
There’s another impatient knock, and you feel your patience fraying as the staff member speaks up again.
“Miss? The car’s waiting.”
Han runs a hand through his hair roughly. “Just tell them to wait two minutes.”
“They won’t.”
“I don’t care.”
“But I do!” The words come out sharper than intended, patience finally wrung out. You inhale shakily before softening slightly. “I can’t keep giving them reasons to watch me more closely.”
Han falls silent, and you finally force yourself to look at him properly. His eyes are full of concern now instead of frustration.
“Baby…”
The worry in his voice nearly undoes you.
“I’ll see you later,” you whisper quietly.
Jisung still looks unsettled. Like he hates the idea of you walking out that door while things feel unresolved between you.
“I don’t want you leaving upset,” he admits softly.
Your chest aches painfully. “I’m not upset at you.”
That’s the truth. You’re upset at the situation and at management. At the constant pressure squeezing tighter and tighter around both of you.
He steps closer like he wants to kiss you goodbye properly, but another sharp knock interrupts again. “We really need to go now.”
You both flinch apart instinctively.
The moment’s gone.
You sling your bag over your shoulder and head toward the door reluctantly. Jisung catches your wrist just before you open it.
“I’ll be waiting for you,” he says quietly.
Your eyes burn unexpectedly before you open the door. Staff immediately begin ushering you down the hallway before either of you can say anything else. You glance back once, and Han’s still standing in the middle of your hotel room, watching you leave, looking like there are a hundred things he still wants to say.
And somehow that image stays with you all the way to the car, waiting to take you to another fake date with someone you stopped loving a long time ago.
By the time you arrive at the restaurant, your head is pounding, and you barely remember the drive there. All you can think about is Jisung standing in the middle of your hotel room, looking worried, while you walk away from him.
You hate leaving things unresolved, especially with him.
The restaurant is loud and packed with people, with warm, low-hanging golden lights, overcrowded tables, and conversations blurring into an overwhelming din. It’s easily the busiest place management has arranged for you and Wooyoung to be seen together so far, but it doesn’t surprise you. More people means more cameras, which means more opportunities for rumours.
You spot Wooyoung already seated near the windows — strategically visible, naturally. He smiles when he sees you approaching, but it fades slightly once you sit down.
“You look miserable.”
You give a dry scoff in response instead of answering.
Wooyoung studies you for a second. “You’re quieter than usual tonight.”
You stare blankly at the menu despite already knowing you won’t be hungry enough to eat much. “Maybe because I don’t want to be here.”
“That’s never stopped you before.”
You look up sharply, and Wooyoung leans back in his chair slightly. “You used to talk a lot, you know.”
You roll your eyes immediately. “And?”
“I’m serious.”
“Wooyoung, please.”
He goes quiet for a moment before sighing softly. “You look stressed lately.”
Something in you finally snaps. You’re not sure why exactly. Maybe because you’re exhausted, or because you already miss Jisung. Maybe because you’re tired of everyone expecting things from you constantly.
You put the menu down harder than intended.
“Because I am stressed,” you say sharply. “I’m exhausted all the time, I barely sleep, management controls every second of my life, my relationship has to stay hidden while they parade me around with my ex-boyfriend, and if I breathe wrong, there’ll probably be an article about it tomorrow.”
Wooyoung blinks in surprise, but you aren’t finished yet.
“And I’m trying so hard to keep everything together while everyone around me acts like I’m some kind of product instead of a person.”
The words spill out faster now.
“I’m tired of cameras. I’m tired of fake smiling. I’m tired of pretending I’m okay with any of this.”
A camera flashes outside the window suddenly, and Wooyoung reacts instantly, reaching across the table to grab your hand.
“There,” he murmurs quietly. “That’s why.”
Your stomach twists unpleasantly, but you immediately force a smile toward the window before smoothly pulling your hand back from his. The second the cameras lower, your expression drops flat again.
Wooyoung watches you carefully before he surprises you.
“I’m sorry.”
You blink at him. “For what?”
“For… everything, I guess.” He looks strangely sincere for once. “I wasn’t good to you when we were together.”
You stare at him for a second before rolling your eyes again. “Okay.”
His mouth opens slightly. “That’s it?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know. Maybe that you forgive me?”
You almost laugh. “Wooyoung, I genuinely do not care anymore.”
And surprisingly, it’s true. Whatever heartbreak once existed there feels distant now. Faded. Unimportant compared to what you have with Jisung.
You just feel tired.
“I just want to finish this dinner,” you say quietly.
After that, the conversation dies almost completely. You eat mechanically while Wooyoung occasionally attempts small talk, which you barely engage with. Outside the windows, photographers continue lurking like vultures.
By the end of the meal, exhaustion weighs so heavily on you that you feel hollow. You just want Jisung. You want his arms around you, and you want to crawl into bed beside him and apologise properly and pretend none of this exists for a few hours. The thought alone keeps you moving as the dinner finally ends.
Outside the restaurant, cameras immediately begin flashing again.
You force yourself through one final polite goodbye. “Goodnight, Wooyoung.”
You turn to leave, but his hand suddenly catches your arm. Before you can react properly, Wooyoung pulls you toward him and kisses the corner of your mouth.
Flashes explode around you instantly, and your entire body freezes in shock. But not for long. You shove him away hard enough that he stumbles slightly.
“What the hell are you doing?!”
Wooyoung looks entirely too calm.
“Relax,” he says lightly, glancing toward the cameras. “I’m sticking to the plan.”
Your stomach turns violently. “That was not the plan.”
He shrugs. “People will eat it up.”
You stare at him in complete disbelief. For one horrible second, all you can think about is Jisung seeing the pictures. Seeing that.
Your chest tightens painfully.
“You don’t get to touch me like that,” you snap quietly.
Something flickers across Wooyoung’s face then — annoyance, maybe guilt — but you don’t stay long enough to figure it out. You turn immediately and walk away as fast as you can, ignoring the shouting reporters behind you.
Your skin feels wrong.
Your mouth feels wrong.
And all you want is to get back to Han before the internet does.
The entire drive back to the hotel feels like drowning in anxiety.
Your phone won’t stop vibrating from constant notifications, messages, articles, and tags. The second that photo hit the internet, it spread everywhere. Fans caught it from different angles. Paparazzi posted blurry close-ups within minutes. Headlines were already appearing before you’d even left the restaurant district.
IDOLS CONFIRM ROMANCE RUMOURS AFTER SHARING INTIMATE MOMENT.
You feel sick every time you glimpse the image under the headline. It looks real. The different camera angles create an illusion of attachment, of love. Your nausea increases as you scan the article and see your own worst nightmare brought to life – people believe there’s something very real between you and Wooyoung.
By the time the car pulls up outside the hotel, panic has fully settled into your chest.
Han.
You need to explain to Han before he spirals, before he believes it.
You practically run through the lobby and into the elevator, heart hammering painfully the entire way up. Your hands shake so badly, fumbling for your room card, that you nearly drop it twice.
The door swings open, and your stomach drops when you notice that your room is empty. Han said he’d wait for you and promised that he’d be here.
“Jisung?”
Nothing. The room is silent except for the hum of the air conditioning. Your panic surges harder as you realise you might not have got here in time, and you’re already rushing back into the hallway before the door fully closes behind you.
You pound on Han’s hotel door desperately, dying to find him.
“Jisung?”
There’s no answer, and you knock again harder.
“Han, please—”
You place your ear to the door when you hear muffled voices, but you realise that it’s not coming from his room, but the room next door. Lee Know’s room.
You hurry over immediately and knock hard enough that your knuckles hurt. The voices inside stop, and you call through the door.
“Minho,” you call shakily. “Please— can I talk to Han?”
There’s a long pause, and you’re about to knock again when the door opens slightly. Minho stands there looking tired and hesitant. Your heart sinks further.
“Please,” you whisper immediately. “I need to explain.”
Minho glances back over his shoulder, deciding on how to answer, when another figure appears behind him.
Han.
Your breath catches painfully at the lack of emotion on his face. You expected anger and sadness, but his eyes looked empty, his expression defeated.
“Jisung—”
“I always worried you’d go back to him.”
The words hit you like a physical blow. “What? No—”
“It’s not even just tonight.” His voice is quiet, exhausted. “I tried not to think about it every time management sent you out together.”
You’re already shaking your head before he finishes his sentence. “Han, it wasn’t my choice—”
“I know.”
But he says it in a way that sounds like it doesn’t matter anymore.
You stare at him desperately, begging him to believe you. “It’s not what it looked like.”
Han gives a tiny, sad smile that nearly breaks you in half.
“That’s the problem,” he says softly. “It looked exactly like what I was scared of.”
Your eyes fill instantly. “No, listen to me— he kissed me, I pushed him away immediately—”
“But he still kissed you.”
The hurt in his voice cracks straight through your chest. He looks exhausted – not physically, but completely emotionally exhausted.
“I kept trying to ignore it,” he admits quietly. “The photos. The articles. How natural you looked together.”
“Natural?” you repeat incredulously. “Han, I barely spoke to him!”
“But nobody else knows that.”
You step closer desperately. “It was staged.”
“I know it was staged,” he says again.
Somehow, hearing that hurts worse, because he does know. He knows you… And he’s still giving up.
Han’s eyes finally meet yours fully, and your stomach twists violently at the emptiness there.
“I just think…” He swallows hard. “Maybe this was always going to be too difficult.”
“No.” The answer leaves you instantly. You know you must look terrified, and you can't help but plead with him. “No, don’t say that.”
Han’s expression crumples slightly at the panic in your voice, but he keeps going anyway.
“We can’t even argue properly without being dragged apart for publicity schedules.” His laugh is hollow and quiet. “We hide constantly. We barely get to be real together outside hotel rooms.”
“We can fix it.”
“I don’t think we can.”
Tears spill down your face immediately. “Jisung, please.”
He looks at you for one long, awful second, and you can see it. You can see how much he loves you. You think it must be that which makes this unbearable.
“Thank you,” he says quietly, voice cracking slightly, “for the last few months.”
Your heart stops.
“No.”
“But I think it’s better if we stop now before this hurts worse.”
You actually stare at him in disbelief. You feel like your brain physically cannot process the words. You can’t believe that this morning you were waking up, wrapped in his arms, and hours later he was breaking up with you.
Han takes one slow step backwards, then another.
“Jisung, please —”
He turns away and walks back into Minho’s room. You immediately try to follow, panicked beyond reason now, but Minho steps into the doorway and blocks your path gently but firmly.
“Minho, move.”
“You need to give him space.”
“No, I need to talk to him!”
Your voice breaks completely.
Inside the room, you can hear movement, but Jisung doesn’t come back, doesn’t say another word. The silence is devastating.
“Please,” you beg Minho desperately. “Please let me in. I love him, Minho! I promise.”
Minho’s face softens slightly as you gasp for breath, the pain in your chest unbearable.
“I know.”
“Then tell him!”
“He’s hurt.”
“So am I!”
“I know,” Minho says quietly. “But right now he needs space to think.”
You shake your head immediately, tears falling harder now. “There’s nothing to think about. He’s what I want.”
The conviction in your voice makes Minho’s expression flicker sadly. But he still doesn’t move aside.
“You both need time,” he says gently. “You’re exhausted. Emotional. Everything’s been building for weeks.”
You wipe angrily at your tears. “I don’t want time. I want to fix this.”
Minho sighs softly.
“I’m tired,” he admits. “And right now my priority is looking after him.”
The words hurt more than they should because suddenly you’re outside the room. Alone.
Minho’s hand tightens slightly on the door. “We’ll see you tomorrow for soundcheck.”
You stare at him helplessly as the door closes quietly in front of you.
That night, you don’t sleep. Not even for a minute.
You lie in your hotel bed, staring at the ceiling, as the world outside slowly shifts from darkness to pale morning light. Every time you close your eyes, you see Han walking away from you again.
Thank you for the last few months.
The words replay so relentlessly in your head, you think you might actually lose your mind.
At some point, your phone buzzes repeatedly on the bedside table. First, it’s your tour staff, then it’s management. Eventually, you even get one message from Chan asking if you’re okay after missing breakfast. You don’t answer anyone, you just silence your phone and roll over to stare at the wall.
By the time soundcheck rolls around, you still haven’t moved from the bed. You physically can’t make yourself. The idea of seeing Han and pretending to function normally feels impossible. So, you stay there curled beneath the duvet in yesterday’s clothes while the hotel room remains dark around you.
Eventually, management starts panicking – there are more calls. More knocks. Messages begging for you to answer because you have the concert later. You finally drag yourself up barely an hour before it starts because you know you can’t miss the performance entirely.
Your reflection in the mirror startles you. You look awful. Your eyes are swollen from spending all day and night crying, and your skin is pale. You look like somebody hollowed you out from the inside.
The arena backstage feels painfully familiar when you arrive. Usually, you love the energy before a show — the rush of staff running around, the sound checks, the excited nerves humming through everyone. Tonight it just feels cold.
You see Stray Kids almost immediately, and your chest caves in.
Han is standing with the others while a stylist fixes his in-ear monitors. For one horrible second, instinct makes your body lean towards him automatically. Towards your comfort and your home. Then you remember that you can’t do that anymore.
Han looks up, and your eyes meet briefly. You open your mouth to say something, anything, but he looks away first. The motion is small, but it devastates you anyway. There was no smile, no secret glance, no mouthed good luck like always. Nothing.
You have never felt lonelier in your life.
The rest of the members notice you, too, but the atmosphere is now painfully awkward. Changbin gives you a hesitant nod, and Felix looks openly concerned. Minho’s expression softens slightly when he sees how exhausted you look, but he doesn’t approach either. None of them know what to do, and you can't blame them because, honestly, neither do you.
You decide to keep your distance, burying your face in your phone and avoiding everyone, because you know this is hard for them, too. They’re his family before they’re your friends.
Your performance that night is… fine. Technically. You hit the notes, and you remember the choreography. The crowd still cheers and sings along to your songs, but you feel disconnected from your own body the entire time, like you’re watching somebody else perform through thick glass.
And afterwards, backstage is worse. Because Han always found you afterwards, even if only briefly. You’d gotten used to hearing his voice in your ear the second you stepped offstage.
You were amazing.
I’m so proud of you.
Tonight there’s nothing. Han walks past you once while talking quietly with Chan and doesn’t even glance your way. You almost stop breathing.
That’s when it truly sinks in.
This is really happening. You’ve really broken up.
The next two weeks become survival rather than living.
You stop laughing, you stop eating properly. Sleep becomes something distant and unreliable. Some nights you cry silently into hotel pillows until sunrise. Other nights, you just lie awake, numb and empty, while tour buses and aeroplanes blur together endlessly.
You and Han become strangers in public spaces. He’s professional and polite when needed. Distant like none of those nights tangled together in hotel sheets ever happened.
The members try in their own ways. Felix starts lingering nearby more often, and Chan checks in quietly a few times. Minho watches you with increasing concern every time you show up looking thinner and more exhausted than before.
But nobody mentions Han.
And Han never approaches you.
By the time the final Korea show approaches, you’re barely holding yourself together. Standing on stage feels harder every night. Breathing feels harder every night. Being near Han and not being able to talk to him, to touch him, feels like torture.
You make a decision, realising you can’t possibly carry on this way and still keep your sanity. So, you request a meeting with management the day of the final concert.
“I can’t continue the international leg of the tour.”
The room goes silent immediately. “What?”
You keep your expression blank because if you let yourself feel anything right now, you’ll fall apart.
“I’m exhausted,” you say quietly. “I’m not coping well physically.”
“That’s not an option.”
“I’m telling you now because I physically cannot do this for months more.”
They argue immediately. They mention contracts, schedules, money, and commitments. You sit through all of it feeling strangely detached. Eventually, you lower your gaze and say the one thing you know they’ll take seriously.
“If I collapse publicly, that’ll be worse for everyone, won’t it?”
Management exchange tense looks, the tension palpable.
You continue softly. “I need to rest. I need to go home.”
In truth, you need to escape from the tour and the heartbreak. From seeing Han every day while pretending you aren’t falling apart.
Eventually, begrudgingly, they agree to frame it as illness and exhaustion after the Korea leg finishes. They label it a temporary hiatus. A recovery period.
You nod numbly through the rest of the meeting, then leave before anyone can change their minds. You don’t tell the boys, and you don’t plan to, partly because you don’t think they’d care anymore. And partly because if Han asked you to stay without the relationship, you know you would.
You just might not survive it.
Later that day, backstage is loud. Staff rush past, carrying headsets and equipment, while stage managers shout out timings amid the arena's chaos. Usually, the noise helps settle your nerves before performances. Tonight, it barely registers.
Your final performance.
The thought feels strangely hollow, much unlike the heavy suitcases loaded into the taxi waiting to take you to the airport. You’d decided it would be best to have a clean break. There was no point hanging around for anything anymore.
You sit silently in the makeup chair with your mic resting loosely in your hands, staring blankly at nothing while stylists do last-minute touch-ups around you. You don’t even know if Han is avoiding looking at you anymore or if you’ve simply stopped trying to catch his eye.
“Hey.”
You blink slowly and look up. Chan stands nearby, expression careful.
“You okay?”
The question almost makes you laugh, but you just nod weakly instead. Chan doesn’t buy it for a second, and he glances around before pulling up a chair beside you quietly.
“I wanted to ask you something.”
Your stomach twists immediately. Chan rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, eyeing the floor.
“The photos,” he says carefully. “With Wooyoung.”
There it is. You lower your eyes to your microphone, thumb soothing the cool metal.
“I’m confused,” Chan admits softly. “Because I remember how badly he treated you.”
Your throat tightens painfully. Chan had seen some of it firsthand when you and Wooyoung dated. Not all of it, but enough to understand what a horrible place you were in with him.
You swallow hard. “It wasn’t real.”
Chan goes very still. You still don’t look at him as you continue quietly, voice numb from repeating this truth over and over in your own head.
“Management wanted publicity away from Han. They arranged the sightings.” Your fingers tighten around the mic. “The kiss wasn’t planned. He just did it.”
You can’t see his face, but you can hear his tone darken. “And Han knows that?”
“I tried telling him.”
The words come out hollow.
You turn slightly, and you can see Chan watching you carefully from the corner of your eye. Really watching. You know that he can see the exhaustion and the weight loss. The emptiness sitting behind your eyes.
Realisation slowly dawns across his face.
“Oh,” he says softly.
You laugh once weakly. “Yeah.”
A staff member suddenly calls your name from across backstage. “Five minutes!”
You slowly stand, smoothing your outfit. Chan rises too, but before he can speak again, you finally look at him and give him a small, tired smile.
“Thank you,” you say quietly.
He frowns slightly. “For what?”
“For letting me join the Korean leg of the tour.” Your voice softens further. “You’ve all been really kind to me.”
Confusion flashes across Chan’s face immediately. “What do you mean Korean leg?”
You just smile again. It’s small, sad. “Thank you for everything, Chris.”
You walk away before he can stop you, and behind you, Chan stands frozen in place.
The crowd screams the second you step onto the stage. Thousands of lights shimmer across the arena like stars while music pounds through the speakers loud enough to shake the floor beneath your feet. Normally the sound energises you, but tonight you feel strangely detached from your own body.
You move through the choreography automatically, smiling when you’re supposed to smile, singing when you’re supposed to sing. A performance built from muscle memory. Then midway through the set—
You see him.
Wooyoung.
Near the barricade.
Watching you.
And suddenly, all the hurt and exhaustion curdling inside you twists sharply into anger. You’re not angry at Han or yourself. You’re angry at him - at the person who kissed you without permission, knowing exactly what it would do.
Your heartbeat pounds loudly in your ears as you make a split-second decision. Before you can second-guess yourself, you turn sharply toward the live band stationed near the side of the stage.
“Toxic Till The End,” you say suddenly into your mic. The band members blink in surprise, but you need to do this. You need to tell him, to tell the world.
“Now.”
Your manager looks horrified from the side stage, but you ignore them completely. The crowd erupts excitedly as the musicians scramble to adjust. You step toward the front of the stage slowly, breathing hard.
“This song…” Your voice echoes through the arena. “Wasn’t originally meant to be performed yet.”
The crowd quiets slightly, listening. You don’t know if it’s the look on your face or the anger in your voice, but you carry on regardless, glancing once toward Wooyoung. You feel a thrill when his expression shifts uncertainly.
“It’s about a recent relationship,” you continue softly. “A toxic one.”
The arena falls completely silent now, and you can practically feel management panicking backstage. You don’t care anymore.
“I wrote it with somebody who means the world to me,” you admit quietly. “And despite everything… I’m thankful for every second I got to spend with them.”
Your chest aches violently from the truth behind your words, and you close your eyes briefly, composing yourself before continuing.
“Tonight feels like the right time to finally share it.”
The music starts, and the first notes ring out low and haunting through the arena.
When you begin singing, every lyric is aimed directly at Wooyoung. Every word is about manipulation and heartbreak and exhaustion sharpened by months of buried anger. You hold eye contact with him relentlessly, and you watch the confidence slowly leave his face.
Good.
For the first time in weeks, you feel honest on stage again. Real.
The emotion cracks through your voice painfully during the second chorus, and you’re confused when the crowd starts screaming. You glance sideways and freeze, mic falling from your lips. Han is walking onto the stage, mic in hand. He approaches slowly, eyes locked entirely on you as he sings the words you’ve lost.
The arena absolutely loses its mind.
You forget where you are, forget everything except him. For the first time in weeks, Han is looking at you, and you don’t know what to do. He reaches you just before your next line and gently lifts your microphone back toward your mouth with one hand. The gesture is so soft it nearly breaks you.
“Sing,” he murmurs quietly.
Your eyes immediately fill with tears, but you do. The tears finally fall when Han starts singing with you, standing close, focused just on you. It’s not officially part of the performance, not rehearsed. He’s just there beside you, voice blending perfectly with yours while the crowd screams around you. You stare at him in complete shock the entire time. Han doesn’t look away once, not during the bridge or the final chorus. Not even when your voice shakes.
Somewhere in the middle of it all, the rest of the world disappears completely. You don’t notice Wooyoung storming out of the arena, and you don’t notice the managers panicking backstage. You barely even hear the crowd anymore.
Because Han is looking at you like he’s finally seeing you again. Not the version of you from that picture, not the version of you that broke his heart.
For the first time in weeks, you feel like you can breathe.
When the final note fades into deafening screams, you barely hear any of it. Your chest is heaving from the emotion of the performance, tears still clinging to your lashes as you stare at Han in complete disbelief.
He’s here.
He came onto the stage for you.
For one suspended moment, neither of you moves. The crowd is losing their minds around you, thousands of phones raised into the air, capturing every second, but suddenly, none of it matters. Because Han is looking at you the same way he used to in hotel rooms at three in the morning.
Like you’re his everything.
And the second you realise that, the words come pouring out before you can stop them.
“I tried to tell you,” you say breathlessly.
Han blinks slightly, startled by the sudden rush of words.
“The sightings weren’t real, I swear to God they weren’t real,” you continue desperately. “I hated every single one and I tried so hard to stop them but management kept pushing and I thought if I just got through tour it would calm down and—”
“Hey—”
“And the kiss wasn’t planned,” you say quickly over him, tears slipping free now. “I pushed him away immediately, Ji, I would never- could never- do that to you.”
The arena has gone strangely quiet. Fans are desperately trying to hear you, and staff are panicking. You don’t care anymore.
“I love you,” you whisper brokenly. “I have always loved you.”
Han’s expression crumples slightly. “I know.”
You stare at him helplessly.
“I couldn’t stand you looking at me like that anymore,” you admit shakily. “Like I broke something between us.”
Han takes a small step closer instinctively, but his expression changes suddenly.
“Wait.”
You sniff weakly. “What?”
His eyebrows pull together. “What did Chan mean when he said this was your last show?”
Your stomach drops instantly.
Oh.
Chan told him.
You look away immediately, and Han’s voice softens. “What do you mean by the last show?”
Your eyes burn harder. “I can’t do it anymore.”
The honesty spills out painfully now that it’s started.
“I can’t stand being around you every day and pretending like I’m okay.” Your voice shakes violently. “I can’t keep hiding and watching everything fall apart and acting like I’m fine with it.”
Han looks horrified. “You were leaving?”
You nod weakly. “After tonight. My bags are already in the taxi.”
“Without telling me?”
“I thought you hated me.”
The words hit him like a slap, and his face twists instantly. “I never hated you.”
“But you left me.”
“I was hurt!” he says desperately. “I thought I lost you.”
“You didn’t.” Your voice cracks completely. “You never did.”
You stare at each other as you’re encompassed by a raw, painful silence. The crowd barely exists anymore. You wipe at your tears roughly and force yourself to keep going before you lose the courage.
“I’ll leave you alone after this,” you whisper shakily. “I know that’s probably what you want now, and I shouldn’t have even done this—”
Han kisses you – hard, suddenly - one hand grabbing your waist while the other cups your face as he pulls you into him like he physically cannot get close enough fast enough.
The arena explodes. Screaming erupts so loudly you feel the stage vibrate beneath your feet, but you can’t even process it.
Because Han is kissing you in front of everyone. In front of cameras, managers, and fans.
The entire world.
And he kisses you like he’s been dying to do it for weeks.
When he finally pulls back, you’re both breathless, and your eyes are impossibly wide.
“Jisung!” you whisper in panic. “What are you doing?”
Immediately, your head snaps toward the backstage area, where managers look seconds away from cardiac arrest. “You’re going to get in so much trouble.”
Han just looks at you for a second before smiling. It’s soft and fond and completely unbothered.
“Baby,” he says gently, brushing his thumb beneath your tear-stained cheek, “I’m Han Jisung.”
You blink at him in confusion, and he grins slightly wider.
“What are they gonna do?” His eyes flick briefly toward the horrified staff backstage before returning to you. “Fire me?”
A laugh escapes you before you can stop it, half hysterical and half disbelieving. Han immediately melts at the sound, leaning down to rest his forehead against your own.
“There she is,” he murmurs softly.
Your chest aches so violently with love for him that you think it might kill you.
The crowd is still screaming around you as Han continues to rest his forehead against yours, arms wrapped tightly around your waist, right there in the middle of the stage.
There’s no more hiding. No more pretending.
Just him.
There would be consequences after tonight — furious managers, broken contracts, headlines, backlash, endless meetings, perhaps even penalties neither of you could fully predict yet. By morning, the entire industry would know. The secret you had both protected so desperately was gone now, laid bare beneath arena lights and thousands of screaming voices.
But as Han held you in his arms in your hotel room later that night, thumb brushing reassuringly across your knuckles while the world erupted online, none of it felt frightening anymore.
For months, you had lived in fear of losing your career, opportunities, and reputation. Yet lying beside him now, finally loved out loud, you realised there was something far worse than consequences: living without him. And as Han looked at you with that same soft, unwavering love that had found you on building rooftops and airport bathrooms and across crowded arenas, you knew with absolute certainty that whatever came next, you would survive it together.
As long as you had him, you felt like you could face anything.
a/n: ARE WE HAPPY? WHAT DO WE THINK? AS GOOD AS PART ONE OR PURE SHIT? lmk in the comments xo
I appreciate any and all interactions with my work xo
summary: four ex-couples are brought together to test whether love can end, restart or transform. you’re not sure which path is yours yet - closure, a new beginning or the courage to try again
< part 12 | epilogue
you don’t remember falling asleep or how you even got to your bed last night, you only remember fragments of everything. you remember the sound of the rain against the windows, your wet clothes abandoned somewhere on the floor, your hands shaking while you curled into yourself beneath the sheets that seemed unfamiliar.
and thunder, you remember so much thunder, and it followed you even in your sleep.
you wake up the next morning with a pain in your chest so heavy that it feels like it’s gonna burst. you lie in your bed staring blankly at the window while the storm continues outside, softer now but constant, the rain tapping endlessly against the glass like fingers that refuse to stop knocking.
your body feels exhausted, your eyes burning and your head aching, and your throat is raw from all your crying. and then it all comes back at once - seungmin’s face, his voice, how he kissed your forehead, how he left and never came back.
you shut your eyes immediately like maybe you can stop the memories if you do, but that only makes them worse, because now they flash behind your eyelids in sharp pieces, quick and blinding like lightning splitting open the dark.
seungmin crying in front of you, his hands shaking as you held him, his voice cracking when he tried to speak, how he looked at you before he walked away.
you inhale sharply and sit up too quickly, pressing one of your hands against your chest like maybe you can physically hold yourself together before you come apart again.
outside, the sky is still dark with storm clouds. the sea stretches beyond the window, grey and furious beneath the rain, the waves crashing against the rocks below like they’re trying to destroy themselves. the ocean looks exactly how you feel, restless and wild, unable to calm down no matter how exhausted it becomes.
the rain slides endlessly down the glass, distorting everything outside into something blurred and fractured. the horizon disappears every few seconds beneath sheets of rain before reappearing again like a wound reopening.
another flash of lightning cuts across the sky and you mind flashes with a new memory again, seungmin pressing his forehead against yours as you both cried.
thunder follows seconds later, loud enough to shake the glass a bit. you stand up and walk towards the window, standing there barefoot while the storm rages outside. the sea below is violent this morning, the waves throwing themselves against the shore over and over again despite knowing they’ll break apart every single time, but you understand that feeling now.
another flash.
seungmin’s lip against your forehead.
another one.
the look on his face before he left.
another.
him leaving and not coming back.
and god, that part is the one that hurts the most. you squeeze your eyes shut hard as the rain outside grows heavier, hitting the windows as the wind howls somewhere beyond the glass.
the storm never really stopped last night, just changed, just like the storm inside you did. because even now, hours later, your thoughts still feel loud and impossible to escape from, and every memory crashes into the next one endlessly.
chan screaming.
seungmin crying.
your own voice begging seungmin to stay.
the terrifying feeling of his hands pulling yours away from his face.
you wonder if he slept at all, you wonder if he regrets coming back to kiss your forehead, and this last thought nearly destroys you again.
you press your forehead weakly against the cold glass window and stare out at the ocean while tears burn behind your eyes all over again. everything outside feels haunted by him somehow . the grey sky, the trembling thunder, the waves against the shore, the rain running down the glass in uneven paths like tears no one bothered wiping away.
even the sea looks heartbroken, and when a sudden crack of thunder splits through the air again, much louder this time, you flinch and another memory flashes through you so vividly it steals your breath.
“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry”
your eyes squeeze shut at the memory. you can still hear his voice perfectly, still feel his hands on your body. you still feel the ache of him walking away and the devastation of you not running after him.
maybe this is what heartbreak really is, not just one clean break, but just surviving hundreds of tiny hauntings afterwards. the way someone keeps existing everywhere even after they leave, the way your body still reaches for them automatically, the way your mind keeps replaying every single moment together, the way love lingers in every silence after it no longer has anywhere to go.
outside, lightning tears across the sky once more, illuminating the sea in bright silver for half a second before darkness swallows it again. it’s beautiful but it’s gone too quickly, just like seungmin.
you hear the door opening behind you and you turn just in time to see lily stepping into the room and then closing the door. none of you speak at first, the storm fills the silence for you instead, the rain striking the windows while the thunder rolls somewhere far across the sea.
you’re still standing by the window when she looks at you properly, and the moment her eyes soften, your burn again.
“hey”, she says quietly, walking towards you, “how are you feeling?”
the question almost makes you laugh because you don’t even know how to answer it anymore, so you look away from her and just shake your head.
“i don’t know”
your voice sounds destroyed and lily’s face falls at the sound of it.
“come here”, she whispers.
she takes your hand and leads you back towards your bed. you sit down beside her, pulling the sheets tighter around yourself while the storm keeps raging outside the windows.
“you really scared me a lot last night”, she says.
you blink at her, “what?”
her brows pull together, “you don’t remember?”, you shake your head and she continues, “when minho, han and i came outside the bar… you were just standing there crying, full sobbing, i’ve never seen you cry like that, you were shaking so much, y/n”
the image of seungmin walking away from you flashes through your mind again and your breathing becomes uneven again. lily notices immediately and reaches for your hand.
“you couldn’t even talk properly”, she says, “han kept trying to get you to breathe and minho gave you his jacket because you were freezing and shaking”
you genuinely don’t remember any of that, you just remember seungmin leaving and then collapsing inside yourself after that. everything after feels blurred and fractured, like shattered glass you can’t piece back together.
“we brought you home”, lily continues, “but you just kept crying the whole way back”
your eyes fill again, “oh my god, lily…”
“hey”, she says quickly, squeezing your hand harder, “it’s okay”
but you know it’s not, nothing feels okay anymore. you press your palms against your eyes because the tears are coming too fast again.
“i can’t do this anymore. i’m so tired”, you whisper, your words coming out broken and shaking, “so so tired, lily”
her face crumbles when she hears you and she moves closer, wrapping her arms around you while you break apart against her shoulder again.
“i know”, she whispers, rubbing your back, “i know, love, i know”
“he looked so broken, lily”, you say through your tears, “and i… i’d never seen him like that. and chan-”, your voice cracks painfully, “everything just exploded and i- i didn’t know what to do and i-”
“you don’t have to explain it to me”
“but i hurt everyone”
“no”, she cuts in and you pull back to look at her, “no, y/n. what happened last night wasn’t your fault”
“but-”
“what chan did was wrong”, she says, her voice much firmer this time, making your tears stop for a moment, “look, i understand that he’s hurting too”, she says carefully and then sighs, “i really do. he likes you and watching all of this happen can’t have been easy for him either. but seungmin…”
she pauses and pulls your hair away from your face.
“y/n, seungmin has been drowning since the beginning of this show. he had to watch you get close to someone else while pretending he didn’t even know you”, she says, “he had to sit there every day acting normal while you were hurting and he couldn’t comfort you properly”, you close your eyes at her words, “and then last night… god”
you start crying again when she pauses.
“he loves you so much, y/n, so so much”
the words hit like lightning inside your chest and you cover your face as sobs leave you harder now.
“i know”, you cry, “i know”
you can still see him so clearly - his shaking hands, his red eyes, everything. you press your hand against your mouth trying to stop yourself from crying harder. lily lets you cry with her until the tears slow naturally, until your breathing steadies enough that you’re no longer shaking with every inhale.
“lily, i…”, you whisper helplessly, “i can’t keep doing this to him, “your voice cracks apart on the last word, “i need to talk to him, i can’t let him go”
she brushes your hair back gently, “okay, but you’re taking a shower first”
“no, lily, i need to see him”
“and you will”
“but- what if he leaves? what if he-”
“y/n, the show is ending tomorrow, and let’s be honest, he’s not leaving without you”
you look away from her before she speaks again.
“i’m serious, y/n, you’re exhausted and you’ve been crying for hours. take a shower first”, she says gently, “let me make you some breakfast. let your body calm down for… ten minutes before you go and talk to him, okay?”
you look at her again and try to shake your head, but she’s right, you’re exhausted.
“i promise you you’re not gonna lose him”, she says, “please”
you want to run out of the house and find seungmin immediately but you just nod your head and smile softly at her. she pulls you into a hug and then you both stand up, before she leaves your room and you walk to the bathroom to take a shower.
the hot water falls against your skin while your thoughts continue spinning in your head, too loud to drown even beneath the sound of the water from the shower and the storm outside. you lean one hand against the wall and close your eyes as steam curls around you, but every time you do, you see seungmin again.
when you finally leave the bathroom, you get dressed quickly in a hoodie and some shorts and then leave your room, the smell of food reaching you from downstairs. you walk there and find lily with minho and han in the kitchen. han is standing near the stove holding a spatula while minho looks one second away from taking it away from him forever.
“han…”, minho sighs.
“what? i’m not doing anything wrong”, han says, his eyes widening as he turns towards minho but minho just stares at him.
“hi..”, you say, feeling shy all of a sudden, and your voice much lower than you wanted to.
“hi”, han says when he sees you, the three of them looking at you with soft and tender faces when they see you, “how are you? well, i know the answer but still-”
“i know”, you say, laughing a bit, but there’s no humour in your voice, “i’m… well, i’m bad”, you say, answering honestly
minho walks towards you and pulls out a chair for you, “come on, sit down and eat something”
you do and then reach for the coffee that lily places in front of you, warming you up instantly. you stare at your cup for a moment before you speak again.
“thank you”, the three of them look at you, “for last night, even if i apparently don’t remember any of it”
“you really scared us, y/n”, han says.
minho nods his head, “yeah, but you don’t have to thank us for helping you. you’re our friend, we wanted to help you”
lily sits down next to you and squeezes your arm gently, you’ve found it’s her way of telling you she’s there for you. you look at her and your eyes start burning again, so you look down at the coffee again before you start crying. you drink your coffee quickly and by the time you finish, the rain has stopped. the clouds still hang low and dark, heavy with another storm waiting to happen, but the world outside the lodge is no longer drowning.
“i’m gonna go now”, you say as you stand up.
lily looks at you, “do you want one of us to go with you?”
you shake your head, “no, i need to do this alone”
she reaches for your hand and then squeezes before she lets you go, then you turn to look at the boys, who are still fighting with the stove, trying not to destroy the kitchen.
“good luck”, han says as minho smiles at you.
you smile at them and then walk towards the entrance, putting on your shoes and then leaving the house. as you walk to the other lodge, you can smell the wet pavement and sea salt in the air, which is cold against your skin. the water still drips from some of the rooftops you pass on your way there as well as from the trees around you. you can hear distant thunder rolling somewhere beyond the cliffs, the storm waiting to begin again.
your heart beats harder with every step you take and when you reach the lodge, your hands are trembling again. you type the code into the lock and then the door opens. you barely even close the door behind you before heading straight towards seungmin’s room, but when you get there and you knock on the door, there’s no answer. you wait a second longer and knock again, but still, nothing.
“seungmin?”
silence.
you knock again and when there’s no answer this time either, you open the door and step inside. the room is completely empty, the bed still unmade.
“seungmin?”, you ask the empty room, but still, nothing.
you move towards the bathroom that’s connected to the room and knock before opening the door when you don’t get an answer here either.
it’s empty as well, and your heartbeat starts speeding up harder now.
where is he?
you turn and leave the bathroom, anxiety beginning to crawl painfully up your throat, your hands trembling again. but just when you leave his room and close the door, you find chan in the hallway.
you both freeze, he wasn’t expecting to see you there, and you, in your rush to see seungmin and talk with him, hadn’t thought about the possibility of seeing chan there. his face changes when he sees you standing there, nervous and breathless and clearly searching for someone else, someone that’s not him.
you swallow hard, you honestly don’t wanna talk to him now, but you need to find seungmin, and your mind prioritises that.
“do you know where seungmin is?”
chan hesitates, then shakes his head, “no”
you nod your head, “okay”
you move to walk past him, too focused on finding seungmin, too focused on talking to him, but chan speaks again before you can leave.
“y/n”
you stop but don’t turn around, you stay with your back turned towards him.
“i… i need to talk to you”, he says, his voice shaking and much lower than you’ve ever heard him.
you close your eyes and sigh, shaking your head, “i can’t do this right now, chan, i need to find seungmin”
you try to walk away again.
“please”, he says, and something in his voice makes you stop, “i… i’m sorry”
slowly, your turn around to look at him and he’s still standing in the middle of the hallway. his hair is messy like he’s been running his hands through it for hours and there are dark circles beneath his eyes that weren’t there these past few days. for the first time since you met him, he doesn’t look calm and sure of himself. he looks completely heartbroken.
the silence stretches between you quietly while distant thunder rolls somewhere outside again, then he exhales and looks down at the floor before speaking again.
“y/n, i’m really sorry about last night, about everything i said”, his jaw tightens after that, like even hearing himself say it hurts, “i shouldn't have done that. i shouldn’t have pushed you like that in front of everyone”, his eyes lift to yours finally, “and I shouldn't have gone after seungmin the way i did”
the guilt in his face makes your chest ache, then, he laughs under his breath, but there’s nothing amused about it.
“i think i just…”, he stops for a second, trying to find the words, “i think i kept telling myself i could handle it. but then, the dates yesterday, and seeing you coming with him… you looked so happy, y/n. and i know that shouldn't have made me angry, but it did”, his voice cracks a little after that, "because i realised i was sitting there watching the person i like finding her way back to the person she has been in love with all this time”
you inhale sharply and your eyes start blurring again, but chan shakes his head when he notices.
“no, don’t-”, he says, “please, don’t look at me like that. i’m not saying this to make you feel guilty”
“chan…”
“i’m not…”, he repeats softly and then swallows hard, “i just… i think something in me snapped yesterday”, you stare at him while he struggles through the words, “and i just kept watching you both, and i knew”, his eyes meet yours again then, “i think i knew before you did”
he gives you a small smile after that, but it looks so sad that it breaks something inside you.
“how you looked at him yesterday…”, he says quietly, “well, how you’ve looked at him since the beginning if i’m honest”, your eyes burn and a couple of tears run down your face, “and then seeing him look at you in the same way”, he exhales shakily, “i think i was just in denial, i didn’t wanna admit even to myself that i had lost before i ever really had a chance”
the words hurt so much you almost physically feel them inside your chest and you shake your head immediately.
“no”
chan smiles again, this time weaker, “y/n, it’s okay”
“no, no it’s not”, your voice breaks a bit, “you didn’t deserve that”
his expression softens as he keeps looking at you, “you don’t have to defend me right now, y/n”
“i’m not defending what happened”, you say, “what you did last night wasn’t okay”
he nods his head, “i know”
“but…”, your voice weakens, “i think i understand why you exploded”
because the truth is ugly sometimes but it’s also human.
“this show… it has been pulling all of us apart for weeks”, you lower your eyes for a second before you continue, “and i should apologise too”
chan’s brows pull together, “what?”
you force yourself to continue anyway, “i gave you false hope”
“no, you didn’t”
“i did, chan, i just… didn’t realise it at the time”, he watches you while you struggle to find the right words, “i thought i was just trying to move on, that i was meeting someone else, and when i was with you…”, you smile sadly, your throat burning painfully, “things felt easy, “his eyes soften when he hears you saying that, “you made me feel calm, safe… even happy”
your confession clearly hurts him and comforts him at the same time.
“and i think part of me wanted that so badly that i kept trying to believe it was enough”, you swallow before you continue, “but my feelings for seungmin never actually disappeared. i’m sorry”
chan closes his eyes briefly after hearing your words, like he’s finally accepting something he already knew, and when he opens them again, they look shinier than before.
“y/n, you don’t need to apologise for loving someone”, he says quietly.
your tears start falling again, guilt twisting painfully inside you, “but i hurt you, i hurt both of you”
“you know”, he starts, taking a step closer to you, but that’s it, that’s the closest he will get to you now, “i think that’s the problem with this show, or one of them at least”, he laughs softly, making you laugh too, “it makes everyone feel guilty for being human, for feeling”
maybe he’s right, maybe all of you have spent so long trying to avoid hurting each other that you forgot feelings don’t always happen cleanly, they don’t happen how you plan them.
chan looks at you for another moment and then smiles faintly again, “i really hope you can be happy, y/n”
the sincerity in his voice nearly breaks you, because you can see he clearly isn’t okay right now, but he’s still saying it anyway.
your vision blurs slightly again, “i hope you can be happy too, chan”
he laughs softly through his nose, “i will”
you both stand there quietly after that, two people at the end of something that never started, not enemies or strangers, just two people who found each other at the wrong time maybe.
thunder rumbles outside again, getting louder now, the next storm coming.
chan notices you, your hands tightening around the sleeves of your hoodie and this time, instead of pain crossing his face, something softer does - acceptance.
“go and find him, before he loses his mind completely”, he says. smiling faintly despite everything.
you look at him one last time before nodding softly and then you turn and walk away, your heartbeat growing louder with every step as you go searching for seungmin, as you finally leave chan behind. when you step outside the lodge, the wind hits you so hard it makes you stop for a moment. the storm is coming back, and you can feel it everywhere, and your heart is already beating too fast.
seungmin.
his name repeats inside your head over and over again while you hurry down the wet street, your hands shaking as you pull your phone out and call him. once, twice, three times, but nothing, the line doesn’t even ring properly. it says that the person you are calling is unavailable.
“no, no, no, no…”
you try again while you start walking faster, but still nothing, and the fear inside you starts growing and then spreads through your body like ice water. you know him and something feels wrong.
you walk faster, then even faster, almost running now, the streets blurring around you while thunder cracks loud overhead. the storm had waited just long enough for you to start searching for seungmin and now it finally breaks open completely. the rain starts falling hard and cold, and within seconds, your hair is soaked and your hoodie sticks to your skin, but you barely notice it.
you keep calling him, still unavailable.
“please, seungmin, please pick up”
the words leave your mouth brokenly while you hurry down the streets towards the beach.
that’s it, the beach.
of course.
that place had always been yours, you loved going there, you always ended up there somehow. you remember late nights sitting on the sand together sharing ramen from the convenience store nearby, you remember seungmin taking photos of the sea while pretending not to take photos of you too. you remember seungmin laughing while waves soaked both of your shoes because you kept walking too close to the water, and you also remember him kissing you there once during another storm years ago.
your chest hurts so bad now you almost can’t breathe.
you start running as the rain grows heavier and thunder shakes the sky again. you hear some cars passing somewhere nearby but everything is blurred by your panic and the rain and all of your memories. your shoes splash against puddles while your fingers keep trembling around your phone.
call failed.
again.
again.
“fuck-”
your voice cracks apart and when you finally reach the beach, you’re breathing so hard your lungs burn. the ocean looks brutal and savage today - huge waves crash against the shore beneath the dark sky while the rain lashes against the sand almost sideways because of the wind. the entire beach looks endless and terrifying, even though you’ve been there countless times before.
your eyes start searching everywhere - the shore, the rocks, the port further away, but nothing, no sign of him.
“seungmin!”
your voice disappears into the storm and then you start walking faster across the wet sand, then running again.
“kim seungmin!”
nothing answers back except thunder. panic climbs higher inside your throat and you call his phone again while turning in circles desperately, trying to see through the rain.
unavailable.
your breathing starts breaking apart completely now.
“seungmin!”
this time you scream it even louder than before, more desperate, but the wind tears the sound away. you keep moving along the shore, the rain blurring your vision while fear starts becoming something uglier now, something unbearable. your mind begins thinking things you don’t want to think, but then, you stop, your entire body freezes.
something is lying near the water, half soaked by the waves, and your stomach drops. at first your brain can’t process what you’re seeing through the rain, then lightning flashes across the sky and you realise what it is.
clothes.
someone’s clothes, abandoned near the shoreline, dangerously close to where the waves keep crashing forward again and again.
your heartbeat stops because you know those clothes, you would recognise those clothes anywhere. you run towards them so fast you nearly fall, the rain lashing against your face while your shoes sink into the wet sand, your breathing already breaking apart before you even reach them.
“no, please no, it- it can’t be”
your hands shake as you drop to your knees beside the pile and when you touch the dark fabric, your entire body goes cold. it’s seungmin’s jacket, you had seen him wear it a hundred times before, you had even worn it sometimes, when you went out and it was cold and you didn’t bring a jacket with you.
your fingers tremble harder as you grab it desperately, turning it over quickly until you find something heavy in the pocket - his phone. you pull it out and press the button with shaking hands, but nothing, it’s turned off.
“no…”, you say, the word barely leaving your mouth now.
you look around wildly, the shore, the rocks, but nothing, no one’s there.
“seungmin!”
the waves crash harder against the shore and you stand up too fast, almost stumbling while panic explodes completely inside your chest now, you feel like you’re gonna faint any minute now. you bring his jacket to your chest and your fingers clutch it so tightly your knuckles ache.
“kim seungmin!”
nothing, only thunder and rain, only the sea destroying itself in front of you. and then, your eyes move towards the water, towards the dark ocean stretching beneath the storm, and you feel the air leaving your lungs because your mind finally says the thing you had been trying not to think.
“no…”
your voice breaks and the jacket slips from your fingers, falling back onto the sand beside his phone. then you start running, straight towards the ocean. you don’t even think or stop to breathe, you don’t even take your shoes off. you just run into the freezing water while screaming his name, your voice completely destroyed by panic now.
“seungmin!”
the waves crash against your legs immediately, soaking you further while the storm roars overhead.
“seungmin!”
you keep moving deeper, the water pushing hard against your body, but you’re so out of it that you barely feel it. you’re crying now, but you don’t realise that either. you only notice when your screams start breaking apart completely.
“please! seungmin!”
thunder cracks violently across the sky and the rain falls harder now. your chest hurts so much you think you might collapse right there into the ocean.
“kim seungmin!”
and then, somewhere behind you-
“y/n!”
your entire body jerks and you turn so fast you nearly lose balance in the water. and there, on the sand-
seungmin.
running towards you.
your breath leaves your lungs so sharp it hurts and you see him, sprinting across the sand desperately, completely soaked from the rain, his face pale with terror as he screams your name again.
“y/n!”
you start sobbing because he’s there, he’s there and alive and well. you see something fall from his hands onto the sand while he runs towards you, but you don’t care enough to wonder what it is because the only thing your body understands now is him.
“seungmin!”
you start running towards him too, the water fighting against your legs while your vision blurs from your tears and the rain, but none of it matters because he keeps getting closer to you, closer and closer, until finally-
you crash into him so hard you almost both fall.
seungmin catches you immediately with a broken sound leaving his throat, his arms wrapping around you desperately while your hands grab fistfuls of his soaked t-shirt like you’re terrified something will happen to him if you let go.
“oh my god, seungmin-”
you can’t breathe, you can’t think, you just hold onto him while your body shakes against his.
“what were you doing?”, he sobs into you, “y/n? what were you thinking?”
he’s crying just like you, but you pull back just enough to push at his chest desperately, while you start sobbing harder.
“i was looking for you!”, your voice cracks as you say those words, “i thought something had happened to you”
seungmin stares at you breathlessly, the rain dripping down his face while panic still fills his eyes too.
“i-i went to your lodge and you weren’t there… and then i kept calling you but you never answered and then i came here and i… you… i saw your jacket… you left it here with your phone and i thought-”, a sob interrupts you violently, “i thought-”
you can’t even say it, and your breathing becomes uneven as you try to push the words out, but you can’t, your sharp panicked gasps won’t fully reach your lungs while your tears mix with the rain on your face.
“seungmin, i couldn’t find you”, you cry, “i called you so many times and you didn’t answer and i thought you-”
“hey, hey-”, seungmin says as he grabs you face, “hey, y/n breathe”
but you just can’t, everything is too much right now.
“you scared me!”, you nearly scream at him now, your voice completely shattered, “you scared me so bad-”
and then seungmin pulls you against him again, one of his hands pressing against the back of your head while the other wraps tightly around your waist, holding you so close you can barely breathe through the crushing relief of it.
“i’m here”, he says shakily against your wet hair, “i’m here, baby, i’m here”
the nickname destroys you further and you break down against his chest. your fingers clutch the back of his t-shirt while thunder shakes the sky again above you, but this time you don't care because he’s here, he’s here with you. seungmin keeps holding your head against his chest while you cry uncontrollably, his own tears falling down his face too.
“i’m sorry”, he whispers, his voice broken just like yours, “i’m so sorry, baby”
you shake your head against his chest, unable to stop crying. your body still trembles from fear and adrenaline while he keeps one hand protectively around your head like he’s trying to shield you from the entire storm itself, and when you cling to him harder, he holds you even closer.
you stand there in the middle of the storm, shaking in each other’s arms while the rain pours over both of you, and every time your grip loosens even slightly, his arms tighten around you, bringing you closer.
thunder cracks above the ocean again and suddenly everything inside you finally breaks. a sob tears out of your chest so violently it almost folds you in half and seungmin immediately pulls back just enough to look at you.
“baby-”
“I’m exhausted”, you cry, you face crumpling while your tears keep falling faster than you can breathe through them, “i’m so fucking tired, seungmin…”, he opens his mouth to speak but you just shake your head, “i can’t do this anymore. i can’t keep hurting you and myself and everyone around us and i-”
“hey-”
“i’m sorry”, you say, “i’m so sorry”, rainwater runs down both of your face while the storm screams around you, “i’m sorry i made you cry and for every second you spent thinking i didn’t love you anymore because i do, oh god i love you so much seungmin-”, your voice breaks and you struggle to push the next words out but you do it anyway, because you need to, “i never stopped loving you, seungmin”
his face changes when you say that, like something inside him physically aches hearing that, and then your hands grab onto his soaked t-shirt harder.
“i tried-”, you whisper through sobs, “i tried to move on and i would just tell myself that we could be friends, have a good memory of us. and then chan was there and i was confused because you were there too but you weren’t actually there and i don’t know-”, you shake your head desperately, knowing you’re not making any sense, “but every time something happened, every time i laughed or smiled or wanted to talk to someone or wanted to be with someone, i kept looking for you. every single time”, you look at him, his eyes red and his tears still falling, “you’re still the person i look for first”
the storm crashes violently behind you, the waves breaking against the shore as the wind screams through the air, but seungmin just stands there, looking at you like the whole world stopped moving entirely.
“i love you, seungmin”, you sob finally, the words leaving your mouth like they’ve been trapped there since the moment you two broke up, “i love you so much and i never stopped and i’ve been trying to survive without you this whole time instead of actually living”
seungmin closes his eyes and you start crying harder, if that’s even possible at this point.
“and… maybe i ruined everything”, you whisper brokenly, “maybe i messed this up too much and maybe you hate me now for getting close to chan and maybe you don’t even want me anymore and i honestly would understand if you didn’t because i hurt you so much and i-”
“stop”, he says as he grabs your face firmly with both of his hands, like he needs you to really look at him and understand what he’s gonna say, “don’t say that again, you hear me?”
his voice breaks apart halfway through the sentence and rain rips from his hair onto his cheeks while his eyes search yours.
“there is nothing”, he says shakily, “nothing you could ever do that would make me hate you, do you hear me?”, his thumb trembles against your skin, “you are the love of my life”
the words destroy whatever was left of you and fresh tears spill down your cheeks immediately.
“i tried to survive without you too”, he continues, his voice barely a whisper now, “and it was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me”, he shakes his head, his eyes burning as he looks at you, “when we broke up, i thought i was doing the right thing. i thought that maybe if i let you go, you’d become happy again”, a broken laugh leaves him and his forehead drops against yours, “but every single day without you felt wrong. i kept reaching for my phone to text you and i kept seeing things and wanting to tell you everything i did”, his breathing shudders, “i kept loving you even when i was trying not to”
you sob softly at that and he continues.
“and then you told me about this show and suddenly you were there again”, he whispers, “and i had to pretend not to know you while watching someone else stand where i used to stand”, pain flashes across his face, “and it killed me”, your hands slide shakily up his arms, “y/n, there was never gonna be anyone else for me after you”
the storm crashes louder overhead and lightning flashes across the ocean, and seungmin looks at you like he’s terrified that this moment isn’t real, that he’s gone mad and he’s just imagining everything.
“i need you”, he whispers, “i love you so fucking much”
you face breaks again, “i need you too”, you cry softly, “i love you too, seungmin, so so much”
something inside him snaps at those words and you see it happen, right there in his eyes - the fear, the grief, the longing, the love he’s been holding back for too long. and then he pulls you closer to him and finally kisses you.
the entire world breaks open with it.
the kiss is desperate immediately, like both of you are trying to make up for every second you’ve spent apart. his hands hold your face as your fingers clutch his soaked t-shirt again, pulling him impossibly closer as sobs still shake through both of you between kisses.
the rain pours down around you, the thunder roars above the ocean, but none of it compares to this, to him. his lips are warm despite the cold rain, familiar despite all the time apart, and the moment you kiss him back fully, seungmin breaks completely against you.
he kisses you harder, like he’s been dying for this, like he’s been surviving on memories of you for too long. your hands slide shakily into his wet hair while he pulls your body flush against his, and then, every almost kiss, every longing glance, every sleepless night, every text, every moment of yearning and jealousy crashes into this single moment all at once.
this.
this is what all the pain had been leading to.
and beneath the storm, with the ocean raging beside you and the rain soaking through your clothes and the thunder splitting the sky apart above your heads, you find your way back to each other at last.
you pull away just enough to breathe but neither of you really lets go. your foreheads stay pressed together, both of you breathless and shaking and smiling in disbelief at the exact same time. he laughs softly at first, overwhelmed but happy, and just hearing him makes you start laughing too.
“god, i love you so much”, he whispers, smiling so hard it almost looks painful.
“i love you too”, you say back.
he lets out another breathless laugh before leaning forward to steal another kiss from you. then another one right after because apparently neither of you can stop anymore.
“you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that again”, he murmurs against your lips.
“i think i do”, you whisper.
he kisses you once more after that and then a cold gust of wind hits both of you at once and you shiver hard enough for him to notice immediately, and then he pulls back, his eyes widening.
“y/n”, he says, looking at you properly now, “you’re freezing”
you laugh weakly, “so are you”
your clothes are completely drenched from both the rain and the ocean, your shoes squelching against the wet sand every time you move. seungmin grabs your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours, and then turns around to start walking, leading you away from the shore.
“come on”
you smile at him, letting him pull you along, “where are we going?”
he just turns back towards you with that smile again, that soft impossible smile you thought you had lost forever.
seungmin fumbles blindly for the door lock while kissing you and you laugh against his mouth when he misses the lock entirely for the eighth time.
“i think you’re a bit distracted”, you whisper teasing him.
“you think?”, he says against your lips before he kisses you again.
he presses you back against the door you had crossed a hundred times before, his parent’s house’s door, the same place you always went to whenever you were in jeju. thank god it’s close to the place you were.
your back presses against the door again as he finally manages to unlock it, but even then he doesn’t pull away from you. his body stays close to yours, trapping you between him and the door while his lips keep moving against yours like he’s starving for it, like he’s trying to make up for every moment he spent without you.
your fingers slide into his wet hair and he lets out the softest sound against your mouth at the feeling. you stumble inside together, half laughing, half kissing,soaked from head to toe while the storm rages outside and then close the door behind you.
seungmin grabs your waist and turns you quickly, pressing you against the wall near the entrance before kissing you again, harder and needier this time. his hands slide along your soaked body carefully and desperately at the same time, like he can’t believe he’s allowed to touch you like this again, and maybe you can’t believe it either, because every time the kiss breaks, even for a second, both of you just end up smiling at each other before kissing again.
you laugh when he kisses the corner of your mouth and he smiles against your lips and then he kisses you again and again.
“god”, he whispers between kisses, his forehead falling against yours, “i missed you so much”
“i missed you too”, you whisper.
then he kisses you like hearing those words nearly destroy him again and everything else disappears, it’s only you and him there. it all feels impossibly far away now compared to the way seungmin is holding you.
your hands grip his shoulders while he slowly walks you backwards through the familiar hallway, both of you still kissing and laughing whenever you bump into something.
“careful”, you laugh breathlessly.
“i’m trying”, he says, clearly not trying at all, his entire focus on your lips.
you finally reach his room and when you close the door, he pulls you close again immediately. his lips move slower now against yours, much deeper. you reach for the hem of his soaked t-shirt, trying to pull it off him, but the fabric clings stubbornly to his skin from the rain.
“wait-”, you groan between laughs, “let me just-”
seungmin laughs too, breathless and beautiful, while trying to peel your wet hoodie from your body, but there’s no use.
“this is actually ridiculous”, he says laughing.
you start laughing again with him and he moves to capture your lips again in another kiss. then he pulls away and looks at you and you blink and look up at him, his face undoing you.
the rainwater still drips from his dark hair onto his cheeks, his lips swollen from kissing you, his hands are warm against your waist despite the cold, and he’s just standing there, looking at you with so much emotion inside his eyes - love, relief, adoration, want.
you touch his face, “what?”
seungmin shakes his head like he doesn’t even know where to start.
“nothing, i’m just…”, he lets out a shaky laugh, “i’m really happy right now”
you smile again, “me too”
he keeps looking at you and then the smile fades slowly from his lips and his hands slide carefully along your waist while his gaze drops to your mouth and when he kisses you again, it’s full of everything he had been holding back. you tug at his t-shirt again, determined this time, and he breaks the kiss just long enough to let you pull it over his head with his help.
the fabric falls to the floor with a wet sound, and then you stay there, just looking at him, but you don’t realise you’re staring until he laughs softly and reaches out to brush a strand of wet hair from your face.
“your turn”, he says.
he helps you peel your hoodie off and when your skin meets the cool air of the room, you shiver, but then his hands are on your waist, pulling you close, and the warmth of his palms against your bare skin makes you forget the chill entirely. his eyes travel from your face down to your neck, your collarbones, the curve of your breasts still hidden beneath your bra.
“you’re so beautiful, y/n”, he says.
you feel heat rise to your cheeks but you don’t look away, instead, you reach for the button of his jeans, your fingers bruising against his stomach, and he inhales sharply. he mirrors your actions, his hands finding your shorts, and together you work each other out of the remaining clothes until there’s nothing left but skin against skin.
he steps back for just a second, just to take you in. his lips part, his eyes darken and you see the exact moment his heart overflows because he steps forward again and cups your face in both of his hands, kissing you like he’s breathing for the first time.
“i can’t believe you’re here”, he says against your lips, his voice breaking.
“i’m here, seungmin, i’m here”, you say and you kiss him again to prove it.
he walks you backwards, his hands never leaving your body. the back of your knees hit the edge of the bed and you sink onto it, pulling him down with you so he follows you, his body covering yours. he props himself up on one elbow, looking down at you. his hair is still damp, falling across his forehead, and his lips are swollen from kissing you.
“i though about this so many times”, he says, “i thought about you, me, us, this”, he swallows, “i didn’t think it would ever happen again”
you reach up and touch his cheek, “i’m here now”, you say again.
he lowers his head and kisses you again. his tongue slides against yours and you sigh into his mouth, your arms wrapping around his neck. his hand drifts down, touching your collarbone, your breasts, your ribs, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. he kisses his way along your jaw, down your throat, and you tilt your head back to give him more space, a soft moan escaping your lips when he finds the sensitive spot below your ear, the spot he knows all too well.
“seungmin…”, you moan, and the sound of his name on your lips makes him groan against your skin.
his mouth travels lower, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone and the swell of your chest. he takes his time there and when his lips finally move to your breast and close around your nipple, your back arches off the bed as a broken scream leaves your mouth. he flicks his tongue over your nipple and then sucks gently, and your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him there.
“god”, you gasp, “i- i need you”
he lifts his head to look at you, his eyes dark and full of want.
“i need you too”, his voice is rough, desperate.
his hand slides down your stomach and then his fingers brush against the heat between your legs and your breath catches. he’s slow and deliberate, tracing your folds with the lightest touch, watching your face trying to memorise every single of your reactions to him. you whimper, your hips shifting towards his hand and he just smiles at you.
he circles your clit with his thumb and you moan again, your hands gripping his shoulders. then he slides one finger inside you, slow and deep, and you cry out, your head falling back against the pillow.
“seungmin- ah-”
“shh”, he whispers, leaning down to kiss you again, swallowing your moans, “i’ve got you, baby”
he moves his finger in and out, curling it just right, and you buck against his hand already so close to the edge, but you want more, you want him.
your hand finds his cock, already hard and heavy against your thigh, and you wrap your fingers around him, stroking him slowly. he gasps into your mouth, his hips jerking forward, and you feel him pulse in your grip.
“fuck”, he moans, his forehead dropping to yours as he looks at you, “you’re gonna make me lose my mind”
you smile, your thumb brushing over the tip, “good”
he pulls his finger out of you and you groan at the loss. he catches your hand, stopping it, and looks down at you with such raw emotion that it makes your chest ache.
“i need you”, he says, his voice already on the edge, “i- i need you right now. but i need to know, are you sure?”, he searches your eyes, vulnerable and open, “because i don’t think i can come back from this again. i want it to be us, forever this time”
your eyes sting again but you smile, reaching up to trace his bottom lip with your thumb.
“i’m sure”, you whisper, “i love you, seungmin. i never stopped and i never will”
something breaks inside him and he kisses you fiercely, desperately, before pulling back just enough to position himself at your entrance. the head of his cock presses against your folds and then, he pushes in slowly, stretching you, filling you, and you both let out a shuddering breath at the feeling of being connected again after all this time.
your eyes lock and for a long moment, neither of you moves. he’s buried deep inside you, his body flush against yours, and you feel so complete it’s almost overwhelming.
“i love you too, y/n”, he says, his voice breaking, “i love you so so much”
he begins to move, deep and unhurried strokes that rock your body with each thrust. his hips roll against yours and you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper and then he buries his face in your neck, his breath hot against your skin.
it’s not frantic, it’s not just sex. it’s him telling you with his body everything he can’t quite put into words right now - that he missed you, that he’s sorry, that he never wants to let you go again, that he’s going to love you forever. and you answer him with your hands in his hair, your lips on his shoulder, your sighs and whimpers singing back to him.
you don’t realise you’re crying again until you feel your tears rolling down your face. they slip from the corners of your eyes, silent and warm, and when they touch seungmin’s skin, he freezes, panic flashing across his face.
“wait, y/n- did- oh god, did i hurt you?”, he stops and pulls back, searching your face, his hands on your cheeks, “baby, tell me-”
“no”, you say, laughing through the tears, “no, i’m happy, seungmin, i promise you. i’m just- i’m so happy. i love you. i need you. please don’t stop”
his eyes glisten and you see him swallow hard, a muscle moving in his jaw. he blinks then and you know he’s fighting tears of his own again.
“i love you”, he says again, “i love you, i love you”
he kisses you again and when he starts moving, it’s even more tender, if that’s even possible. he interlocks his fingers with yours, pressing your hands into the mattress on either side of your head. every thrust is deep and slow, hitting that perfect spot inside you, and the pleasure builds like a wave, gentle at first, then growing more and more.
your moans grow louder, more desperate and he matches your rhythm, his forehead pressed to yours, his breath mingling with yours.
“come for me”, he says, almost begging you, “let go, baby. i’ve got you”
you’re so close, the tension coiling tight in your stomach, and when he grinds his hips against yours again, you finally shatter. your orgasm rolls through you in waves, your body arching as you cry out, but it’s swallowed by his kiss. he follows moments later, his hips stuttering as he spills inside you, his groan muffled against your lips.
he collapses against you and you hold each other, shaking and breathless. the rain continues outside, but inside this room, there’s only the sound of your breathing together and the steady beat of his heart against yours. after a long moment, he lift his head, his eyes red rimmed but soft.
“hi”, he whispers, smiling softly at you.
you smile, brushing his hair back from his forehead, “hi”
he kisses your nose, your lips and then your forehead before he rests his forehead against yours.
“i’m never letting you go again”, he says, “i mean it”
“you better not”, you tease him, but he can hear the emotion in your voice.
he laughs and pulls you closer, burying his face in your neck. you wrap your arms around him, your fingers tracing idle patterns on his back, and then slowly, without realising, you both fall asleep together.
your eyes open lazily and for a few seconds, you just stay still, your cheek resting against seungmin’s chest while his arms remain wrapped around your waist even in your sleep. at some point, he had rolled onto his back and pulled you with him until you were half laying on top of him, like even asleep he needed you close.
you tilt your head to look at him, to see his messy hair against the pillow and his lips parted slightly in his sleep. he looks so peaceful that something inside your chest warms at the sight.
carefully, trying not to wake him, you lift yourself from his chest but his arm tightens around your waist instinctively, making you smile.
“shh, it’s okay, i’m here, minnie”, you whisper.
he relaxes again after that, so you move slowly off the bed and shiver a little at the cold against your skin. your clothes are still abandoned somewhere on the floor, still damp from the rain and the ocean, and you laugh quietly under your breath before walking towards the wardrobe.
when you open it, memories hit you instantly - some of his clothes are hanging there, and yours too, the clothes that you left the last time you came here, and it’s like a part of you had always been waiting there for you to come back.
you put on some fresh underwear and one of seungmin’s t-shirts, the fabric smelling like him, like home. you turn back towards the bed and see he’s still asleep exactly where you left him. you walk closer to him and brush your fingers through his hair gently before leaning down and kissing his forehead. his brows twitch a little and a tiny sleepy sound escapes his lips. your heart melts completely at that.
“i love you”, you whisper against his forehead.
you quietly leave the room and walk towards the kitchen, your eyes moving towards the clock on the wall the moment you get there and you see that you had only slept for a little over an hour. you move around the kitchen, opening cupboards and the frigde while trying to figure out if there’s anything you can make. but there’s barely anything there, you only see a few drinks and some snacks.
“looking for something?”
you jump so hard you almost break the fridge door when you close it. a gasp leaves you as strong arms wrap around your waist from behind.
“oh my god, seungmin-”
he laughs quietly against your neck while pulling you back against his chest.
“you scared me, you idiot”
“oh please, don’t be such a baby”
“you nearly killed me”
he hums distractedly against your skin before kissing the side of your neck, then again, and then one more time.
you can already hear the smile in his voice when he asks you, “what are you doing?”
you try to answer but his lips keep brushing against your neck while his hands slide slowly along your waist beneath his t-shirt.
“i was trying to-”
he kisses your jaw.
“find some food-”
another kiss.
“but apparently you won’t let me speak-”
before you can even finish, he turns you around until your back presses against the counter and then he kisses your lips. your hands slide into his hair while his body settles between your legs, like you still fit together perfectly even after everything.
“seungmin”, you mumble against his lips, trying really hard not to laugh.
“hm?”
“are you gonna let me explain or not?”
“no”
you laugh at his immediate answer. he lifts you onto the kitchen counter and steps closer between your knees before kissing you again and you smile against his lips helplessly. he’s only wearing his boxers now, his hair still messy from sleep and his lips swollen from kissing you too much.
he breaks the kiss and presses his forehead against yours, and puts his hands on your thighs, warm and soft against your skin. then he pulls back a bit, his face a bit more careful now.
“do you regret this?”
your heart hurts at the nervous tone on his voice and you grab his face between your hands.
“no, i don’t”, you say, not even a second of hesitation, “i don’t regret any of this”
his eyes closes briefly and then he nods his head before he opens them, “good, because i don’t either”
emotion rises in your chest and you look down before speaking again.
“i’m still sorry though”
his brows pull together, “for what?”
“for everything”, you say as your fingers twist together, “for the show, for chan, for hurting you”
“hey”, he says softly.
you look up at him again.
“i mean it”, you continue, “i hate that i made you doubt yourself, minnie. i hate that i made you feel like you were losing me”
seungmin’s face breaks a little at that, “it’s not entirely your fault, i did that too”
you shake your head but he just brushes his thumb softly against your thigh.
“no”, he says, “let me say this too”, his voice stays calm as he speaks, “when we broke up… i thought i was doing the right thing, that it was the best for you. i thought that i had to let you go because things got hard, but that’s not what love is”, he whispers, “i should’ve stayed, i should’ve fought harder for us”
your eyes burn instantly, “that’s my fault too, i should’ve fought harder for us too”
“but we’re here now”, he says softly, “and if you still want me after all this…”, he smiles then, “i wanna do this right this time”
your chest aches painfully, but it’s not the same pain you’ve had since you started the show, it’s a different kind of pain, beautiful even.
“me too, minnie”
you slide your arms around his neck while he moves closer again, his forehead against yours once more.
“we can’t lose ourselves again”, you say.
“we won’t”, he says, “and if we do, the other one has to find us”
you look at him, your eyes shining as you nod your head, “deal”
he smiles at you and then kisses you again, both of you smiling against your lips.
“i’m so in love with you, seungmin”, you whisper.
he laughs quietly, almost overwhelmed by it.
“good”, he says against your mouth, “because i’m ridiculously in love with you too, y/n”
you laugh again and then you hear his stomach growling loudly between you and you both burst into laughter. seungmin groans and buries his face against your shoulder.
“oh my god, minnie, you’re starving”
“mhm, i am”
you laugh harder, brushing your fingers through his hair while he keeps holding you close.
“i was trying to find food when you came here”, you tell him, “but there’s basically… nothing”
he hums thoughtfully against your neck and then lifts his head again, a mischievous look in his eyes, dangerously familiar.
“well”, he says casually, his hands sliding slowly along your thighs, “if there’s no food here, i think we could entertain ourselves with something else…”
your breath catches and then you laugh, shaking your head while he grins against your lips before kissing you again and biting your lower lip jokingly. before you can even tease him properly, he lifts you off the counter into his arms and you laugh in surprise, your arms wrapping around his shoulders while he kisses you again walking towards his room.
“seungmin-”
“what?”
“you’re impossible”
“yeah”, he says easily, “but you love me”
you smile helplessly against his mouth, “i really do”
he carries you back into his room while kissing you between your laughter and whispered i love yous, and when you close the door behind you once more, the rest of the world disappears completely again.
“well”, you say, standing outside the door of your lodge, “you should probably go before someone sees us”
“mmhm”, seungmin hums absentmindedly, clearly not listening at all because his eyes are fixed on your lips again.
you laugh quietly, “seungmin”
“what?”
“you have to go”
“but i don’t want to”
you roll your eyes affectionately while he steals another kiss anyway, one of his hands sliding around your waist to pull you closer to him.
“you’re unbelievable”, you mumble against his lips as you laugh again.
your laugh gets swallowed by his mouth when he kisses you again, the kiss dangerously addictive, because neither of you is trying to hold back anymore. when he pulses away, your lips are tingling and your heartbeat feels like it will escape your chest at any minute now.
“it’s almost midnight”, you whisper weakly, even though your hands are still gripping the front of his hoodie, because you don’t want him to leave either.
“okay”, he says, then kisses you again.
“seungmin!”
“what? i’m saying good night”
“this is like your… tenth good night”
“and it’s still not enough”
his voice is teasing, but there’s something softer underneath it too, something that makes your chest ache in a good way.
tomorrow is the final choice day, and the thought hangs quietly between you both for a second, but right now, under the porch light with both of his hands on your waist now and his smile pressed into your skin, none of it feels scary anymore.
“i’ll see you tomorrow”, you whisper.
a small smile spreads across his face, fond and almost disbelieving, like he still can’t fully process that you’re here, choosing him back, together again.
“yeah”, he says.
then he presses one last kiss to the corner of your mouth before finally stepping away from you and you have to say you miss his warmth immediately.
“there”, you say, pointing towards the path behind him, “go little puppy”
he sighs dramatically but obeys, slowly walking backwards down the path while still holding onto your hand for as long as possible.
“you’re being clingy today”, you tell him.
“you love it”, he says, and unfortunately, he’s right.
you laugh softly as your fingers finally slip apart.
“good night, minnie”
“good night, baby”
you shake your head and then turn towards the door, ready to type the code into the lock while you try to ignore the stupid smile pulling at your mouth. but before you get the chance to-
“y/n”
you turn around and seungmin is back in front of you again. you don’t get the chance to ask what happened before he grabs your face gently and kisses you one more time, like he just needed this one more moment with you before he left for the night. just one more reminder, one more chance to love you before the night ended.
your fingers curl weakly into his hoodie as he kisses you and when he pulls away, both of you are smiling helplessly again.
“i love you”, he says, resting his forehead against yours.
“i love you too”, you say as your heart melts completely.
then, he steps away again and this time he actually leaves. you stand there, watching him disappear down the path with your lips swollen from kissing him and your entire chest warm unbearably before you finally turn back towards the door and type the code. you walk inside the lodge and close the door, and god, every time you think about the way he looked at you today, your stomach flips all over again.
you bite back a smile to yourself as you start walking down the hallway towards the stairs, trying not to make too much noise. you’re halfway there when-
“well, look who finally came home”
you jump so hard you almost scream. your head snaps towards the kitchen and you find lily sitting there in one of the chairs, illuminated only by the small lamp above the stove. she’s holding a mug in both hands while she watches you with the most knowing expression you’ve ever seen.
“oh my god, lily! you scared me”
she bursts out laughing, “you’re being dramatic”
you walk towards her, unable to stop smiling. the happiness inside you feels too big now, too impossible to hide, and lily notices it.
“where were you all day?”
you bite your lip and then pull out the chair beside her and sit down, trying and failing to hide your smile.
“i was with seungmin”
“oh my god”, she gasps.
you laugh, looking down at your hands.
“oh my god!”, she repeats, grabbing your arm now, “tell me everything right now”
you laugh harder, shaking your head.
“there’s not that much to tell-”
“liar”
you cover your face with both hands as you laugh and lily gasps again.
“you got back together, didn’t you?”
your heart stumbles at the words.
back together.
it feels unreal hearing it out loud.
slowly, you lower your hands and look at her before you nod your head.
“i knew it!”
you laugh harder as she hugs you tightly from the side.
“i knew it, i knew it, i knew it, i knew it”, she keeps saying.
you laugh against her shoulder, suddenly emotional all over again, because after everything you had been through - all the confusion, the pain, the fear, the heartbreak - you found your way back to him.
lily pulls back to look at you properly now, her eyes softer, not joking this time.
“are you okay?”
you nod your head, “yeah, i’m okay”
lily smiles at you so warmly it nearly makes you cry again, “were you with him this whole time?”
your face heats up, “yes”
“and how is he?”
your smile grows again, “he’s good. we talked, a lot. i went to his lodge and he wasn’t there, then i went to the beach and he was there and from there we went to his parents’ house and just.. talked”
lily watches you while you continue.
“and i talked to chan too, when i went to the lodge”
that makes her expression change, “oh, and how did that go?”
you exhale softly.
“he apologised”, you tell her, “and i apologised too”, you look down before continuing, “we just… understood each other, i guess”
lily nods slowly, “and now?”
you smile before you can stop yourself, feeling relieved, “and now it’s done”
chan had let go and you had finally stopped running in circles and had run towards seungmin instead.
lily reaches over and squeezes your hand, “y/n i’m really happy for you”
you look at her and you know she really means it.
“i couldn’t have done this without you”
lily shakes her head, “yes, you could have”
“no”, you laugh weakly, “seriously lily”, you squeeze her hand back, “you were there when i completely lost my mind and you stayed with me through everything”
lily smiles softly now, “that’s what friends are for”
friends.
your chest aches warmly, because this show gave you heartbreak and confusion and pain and exhaustion. but it also gave you her, and somehow you know lily is going to stay in your life long after all of this ends.
you stand up then, exhausted now that the adrenaline is fading.
“okay, i’m gonna shower and sleep for… i don’t know, one year, i think”
lily snorts, “yeah, good idea”
you laugh again and start walking towards the stairs but just before you disappear-
“hey, y/n?”
you turn around and see lily trying very hard not to smile.
“what?”
she lifts one brow innocently, “so… seungmin and you… were you just talking or should i assume that seungmin’s parents are gonna need new sheets?”
“lily!”
you stare at her in horror while your face burns so hot you think you might actually die. she’s bent over laughing now while you now cover your face with both of your hands.
“o- oh my god, lily. you’re insane!”
“do they prefer dark ones or lighter ones?”
you’re laughing so hard now you can barely breathe and lily keeps laughing from the kitchen. you turn around and hurry upstairs while she keeps screaming after you, and you can still hear her, even when you finally reach your room with your cheeks hurting from smiling too much.
the next morning, you wake up to the sound of voices downstairs, not angry voices or people fighting, just being loud, very loud. you stay in your bed for a few seconds, blinking sleep out of your eyes while the sunlight slips through the glass of the window, the storm long gone now.
every time you move, memories from yesterday flash through you all over again - seungmin’s hand on your body, his lips on yours, his voice in your ear, his body becoming one with yours.
“oh my god”, you mumble to yourself as you bite your lip, burying your face into the pillow for one second before another loud laugh echoes from downstairs.
han and lily.
you groan softly before finally dragging yourself out of bed. you throw on an oversized hoodie you took from seungmin yesterday and walk downstairs, still half asleep, rubbing one of your eyes as the voices grow louder the closer you get to the kitchen and you stop the moment you see han and lily arguing over breakfast.
“i want this one”, lily says.
“no, i want this one”, han says, trying to take the plate away from her, but lily is faster and moves away from him.
you stare at them for a second before speaking, “do you two actually remember there are other people living in this house, right?”
both of them turn to look at you and han jumps slightly, “oh shit, sorry, y/n”
“oh don’t apologise”, she says, waving him off casually before looking directly at you with a grin, “she got some yesterday”
you freeze and han’s eyes widen.
“wait what?”, he asks.
“lily!”
“yeah, with seungmin”, she says.
you let out the loudest groan imaginable while han nearly chokes laughing.
“no way”, he says, staring at you in complete disbelief, “no actual way”
“oh my god”, you mumble, covering your face with your hands, “i hate both of you”
lily looks delighted with herself and han is laughing so hard now he has to grab the counter.
“this is better than a movie, i love this”, he says laughing.
you move and throw a napkin at him but he dodges it easily, surprisingly you have to say.
“but y/n…”, lily says, smirking and you already know where this is going.
“no”
“i’m not gonna ask for details”, she says, “i’m just asking for a number”
“lily!”
han loses it again, “a number?”, he repeats, laughing.
“yes”, lily says seriously, “one to ten. you broke up a long time ago, a lot of orgasms were lost along the way, he has to make up for lost time”
you hide your face in your hands again while both of them laugh harder.
“that’s it, i’m leaving”, you mumble.
“no, you’re not”, han says, walking towards you and pulling you towards the table, “sit down and suffer with us”
lily slides a plate towards you with the brightest smile imaginable, “you’re welcome by the way”
you glare at her while sitting down and she only grins wider. the three of you continue laughing and teasing each other while you eat breakfast together, but then, you realise something.
“wait”, you say, looking around, “where’s minho?”
lily goes quiet and you and han look at her as she tries to act casual, “he got the text earlier”
your stomach flips softly, “the final choice?”
she nods her head and you and han exchange one quick look because you both understand what’s happening beneath her calm expression.
she’s terrified.
lily laughs nervously after a second, “it’s stupid, right? i know it’s stupid”
“it’s not stupid, lily”, you say and han nods his head.
she presses her lips together, “but what if-”
“he’s gonna choose you”, han says before she can even finish.
the certainty in his voice makes all of you pause. lily looks at him and there’s something so soft in han’s expression when he looks back at her, no bitterness or regret, just affection for her, for everything they were.
“you really think so?”, she asks him.
“yeah”, he says, “he would be stupid not to”
your heart aches a little at the sight of them, because this is what loving someone could look like too, even after everything has ended.
lily’s eyes get suspiciously shiny and she quickly looks away right as her phone vibrates loudly. she grabs it immediately and then her entire face changes.
“oh my god”
you grin, “go and get your man”
han laughs as she stands up, “but breathe first, lily, come on”
“i can’t!”, she says, her voice almost screaming, and she’s already rushing towards the hallway before turning back around, “how do i look?”
“beautiful”, you and han answer at the same time.
she grabs her bag and then rushes back towards you, hugging you tightly first, then han, and then she’s gone, the front door slamming shut behind her.
“she really likes him”, han says as he leans back in his chair with a small smile.
“yeah, she really does”, you say and then you turn to look at him, “you’re really sweet you know that? you know, the way you support her like this…”
he shrugs softly, looking down at his cup for a second.
“she’s a great girl and we were together a long time ago. i just…”, he exhales softly, “i just want her to be happy, and minho is a great guy”
you nod your head, “yeah, i think so too”
he nods his head too and then looks at you, “but it’s actually tragic, though”
“what is?”
“that you were still so into seungmin”, he says and you burst out laughing because you know he’s joking, “and then chan happened… i think we could’ve been perfect, our love for cheesecakes is our bond”
you laugh harder and throw another napkin at him, this time hitting his face directly.
“okay, yeah, this is violence”, he says, laughing now too.
“you deserve worse”
the two of you continue joking around while cleaning the kitchen together afterwards, the morning feeling strangely peaceful despite everything waiting for all of you later today.
the final choice, the end of the show.
you try not to think about it too much but eventually both of you go to your rooms to get ready anyway. and an hour later, just as you’re finishing getting dressed, your phone vibrates and you already know what it is before you look at it.
exchange: please arrive at the following address in 15 minutes
it’s time.
you go downstairs and find han in the living room, and the moment he sees you, his face softens, because he already knows, you don’t even need to say anything.
a small and nervous smile appears on your face and han lets out a quiet breath through his nose before he opens his arms for you.
“come here”
you laugh softly, feeling emotional already, and then walk straight into his hug. he wraps his arms around you tightly and you just stay there holding onto him.
“you okay?”, he asks you.
you nod against his shoulder, “yeah, i think so”
he pulls away to look at you and then smiles, “good, you deserve to be happy”, he then fixes a strand of hair away from your face and speaks again, “good luck, okay?”
your throat tightens and you nod your head, “thank you”
he knows those two words carry everything inside them - thank you for staying, thank you for helping me survive this, thank you for being my friend, thank you for not giving up. han understands all of it without you saying any of it out loud and then nods his head and squeezes your shoulders gently before letting you go.
“now go”, he says, “before i get emotional too”
you laugh again and finally leave the lodge. the sky is quiet after yesterday’s storm and the streets are almost empty and the closer you get to the address they sent you, the louder your heartbeat becomes. it’s nearby, just a few streets away from the lodges and when you finally arrive, you stop completely.
it’s a house, beautiful in a strangely intimate way. you walk towards it and find the front door already unlocked, clearly waiting for you. you push it open and step inside, and when you do, a screen lights up in front of you and a simple message appears.
exchange: please go to the room with the white door
your breathing grows uneven immediately, your nerves getting worse by the minute, and you walk through the hallway until you finally find it.
the white door.
your hand hesitates a bit over the handle before you finally push it open and when you step inside, everything inside you breaks apart quietly.
the room is full of memories, it’s full of your photos, everywhere - they are pinned to the walls, hanging from strings with little lights around them, spread across tables. there are polaroids of seungmin and you, printed pictures, old phone photos, photos from years ago, your entire relationship stretched around the room.
you stop moving completely and your eyes start burning.
“oh my god…”
there’s a picture of you both at the beach years ago, seungmin holding you over his shoulder while you scream laughing. there’s another one of him asleep on your lap during a road trip with your friends. once where both of you are wearing matching christmas pyjamas at his parents’ house. there’s one blurry picture taken at four in the morning where both of you are laughing so hard neither of you is properly visible.
you see little moments captured there, cooking together, your hands intertwined, you sleeping against his chest, you dancing in a wedding, little moments of your life together. you remember most of these photos, but there are also some of them that you forgot even existed, photos that no one had access to unless-
hyunjin.
of course he helped with this.
you walk around the room, staring at every single memory like the memory stares right back at you. they are not just photos of you together, they are moments of your life, proof that your love existed, that it was real, that it was beautiful and it was the best thing you’ve ever had.
your fingers brush over one picture of seungmin kissing your cheek while you grin at the camera, completely unaware of how loved you looked. tears spill down your face before you can stop them and even though you wipe them quickly, more follow anyway.
you move through the room almost like you’re walking through moments of your life one step at at time and then you notice another screen at the far end of the room and it lights up as you get closer to it, a question appearing there.
exchange: what do you think love is?
you stare at it for a moment and then slowly answer.
“i think…”, your voice shakes slightly, “i think love is choosing someone over and over again”
the screen changes.
exchange: can love change?
you swallow and then answer again.
“yes”, you whisper, “people change, relationships change. love changes too”
exchange: can love survive pain?
you close your eyes briefly before you open them again, “yes”
exchange: can love be reborn?
you think about the storms, about the beach, about crying in seungmin’s arms, about kissing him like the world was ending.
“yes”, you whisper again, tears slipping down your cheeks, “i think sometimes love can break first before it finds its way back”
the screen goes quiet for a moment before another question appears.
exchange: can love ever truly end?
your breath catches and then your eyes drift slowly around the walls again - all those years, all those memories, all those moments, all that love.
“no”, your voice breaks completely now, “i don’t think real love ever disappears”
silence fills the room after that. you wipe your face quickly, trying to breathe properly again, trying to calm your heartbeat and then, you hear the door opening behind you. you already know who it is before you even turn around but somehow your heart still explodes the moment you do.
seungmin stands there in the doorway, his eyes moving across the room quickly - the photographs, the memories hanging everywhere around you both like pieces of a life neither of you ever truly let go of.
and then his eyes find you and everything else just disappears.
“hey”, he says, the word so soft it almost breaks you all over again.
you try to smile at him through your tears but your lips tremble too hard to hold it properly and the second he sees that look on your face, he starts walking towards you, like there was never any other direction for him to go.
seungmin crosses the room quickly until he’s standing right in front of you, both of his hands reaching for your face.
“there you are”, he whispers shakily.
his palms are warm against your cheeks, careful and protective. his thumbs wipe beneath your eyes automatically, catching your tears before they can fall further down your skin.
“hey”, he says, his voice gentler now, “are you okay?”
you nod quickly despite the tears still slipping down your face, “yeah, i’m okay”
he smiles a little then, while his thumb brushes beneath your eye again. his forehead nearly drops against yours right there, and it’s like he has to physically stop himself from pulling you into his arms immediately, but then the screen lights up again and you both turn towards it.
exchange: what do you think love is?
you look at seungmin and he’s already looking at you. his hand slides carefully to the small of your back then, grounding you there beside him, his thumb rubbing slow and comforting circles against your spine before he answers.
“i think love is…”, he pauses softly, his eyes still on yours, “wanting someone to be in every version of your future. it’s waking up every day and choosing the same person even after things get difficult, even after things break”
the screen changes again.
exchange: can love change?
seungmin smiles faintly at that, “yeah, it changes constantly”, his eyes drift around the room, “at first it’s really exciting, then it’s comfort, then safety. then it becomes the person that feels like home to you”
your eyes immediately fill again.
exchange: can love survive pain?
this time seungmin doesn’t hesitate.
“yes”, his answer is immediate, "because if it couldn’t, we wouldn’t be standing here right now”
the words hit you so hard your breathing stumbles. you feel his hand slide more firmly around your waist then, pulling you closer to his side.
exchange: can love be reborn?
seungmin lets out the smallest laugh and then looks at you again.
“i think sometimes people need to lose each other for a while before they understand how to love each other properly”
tears blur your vision then and he continues.
“i think love can come back stronger after pain if both people are willing to fight for it”; his eyes shine as he says it, “and i would fight for y/n forever”
exchange: can love ever truly end?
“no, real love never disappears”, he says.
the screen pauses for a second and then a new question appears.
exchange: y/n, did you ever move on from seungmin?
you feel seungmin’s eyes turn towards you again while your own heartbeat pounds in your chest.
“i thought i did, at the beginning”, you say as your voice trembles, “i really thought i had”, your eyes drift around the room again, towards all those memories pinned to the walls, “but i think… i never stopped loving him. i just convinced myself that i had to pretend that i didn’t want him anymore, but it was there the whole time”
your voice cracks completely at the end and seungmin’s hand tightens around your waist.
exchange: and now?
you look at him fully then - at the boy who cried in your arms, the boy who kissed you in the rain, the boy who fought for you, the boy who kept choosing you even when he thought he was losing you.
“now i know that he’s the person i want beside me forever”, you say and seungmin’s face breaks, “and i’m happy”, you whisper through your tears, “because somehow, even after everything we’ve been through… i still get to love him”
a tear slips down seungmin’s face and he wipes yours away at the same time. the screen changes again.
exchange: seungmin, what was your real purpose on this show?
seungmin laughs softly under his breath, emotional already.
“her”, he doesn’t have to think about it, he knows, “i came here because i didn’t wanna move on. i tried to convince myself she was happier without me but even then, i was in love with her and i didn’t want it to stop. then she told me about the show and…”, he says, his voice shaking, “i took the chance, as selfish as it could’ve been, but i came because i knew that if i didn’t fight for her at least once, i’d regret it for the rest of my life”
the screen changes again.
exchange: we’ve saved your nightly texts for the past few days and during these days, you have consistently chosen to text each other every night
you turn towards each other and somehow that completely breaks both of you again because of course you did. even when you were confused and hurting, even when other people entered your lives, at the end of every single day, you still reached for each other.
seungmin lets out the softest disbelieving laugh while tears fall down his face again, much harder this time, relief written all over his face.
“oh god”, he whispers, “thank you”
you’re crying too hard to speak. he cups your face again, wiping your tears with his thumbs while he looks at you like his entire heart is visible in his eyes.
“i love you so much, y/n”, he whispers.
you smile through your tears, “i love you too”
his forehead drops against yours while you both laugh and cry at the same time and then, the final question appears.
exchange: how do you want to leave the show?
seungmin turns towards you and his eyes soften again, destroying you completely for the thousandth time.
“with y/n”, his voice is quiet but unwavering, “there’s no version of this where i don’t choose her”
your breath catches sharply as he continues.
“you’re…”, he pauses, completely overwhelmed, his tears falling faster now as all of the emotions visibly crash into him all over again, “you’re the love of my life”, tears continue falling down your face and seungmin smiles helplessly through his own, “and i knew that from the beginning”, his voice cracks softly, “you’re my home, y/n”
a sob escapes you before you can stop it and seungmin pulls you against his chest with a soft and broken laugh.
“hey, hey…”
you bury your face against his chest while he holds you tightly, one of his hands cradling the back of your head. when you finally pull back enough to answer and look at him, your entire body is trembling.
“i want to leave with you too, there's nobody else for me”, you whisper through your tears, “there never was”, his face completely falls apart, “everything makes me think of you and even when i thought we were over forever…”, your voice cracks again, “i still loved you”
seungmin is openly crying now and you try to wipe his tears with your thumbs, just like he did with you.
no more questions appear after that, now there’s only the soft glow of the lights around your memories and the quiet sound of both of you breathing. seungmin looks at you like he can’t believe this is real and then, he rubs your cheek and your eyes close into his touch.
“i love you”, he whispers, and this time it sounds complete, and they are the most beautiful words you’ve ever heard.
“i love you too”, you say.
and then, he kisses you, he finally kisses you. his hand stays against your cheek while your fingers curl into the front of his shirt, both of you melting into each other like every broken piece has finally found where it belonged again.
years of love and heartbreak and longing and yearning are poured into the kiss all at once. you can taste his tears when he kisses you deeper. you can feel his hands shaking where they hold you closer.
and when you finally break apart just enough to breathe, both of you are still crying softly against each other, finally finding each other again after being lost for too long.
“we really made it back to each other”, he whispers.
“yeah, we really did”, you whisper back.
and surrounded by every version of your love story hanging on the walls around you, with his hands holding you like he never wants to let go again, you realise something quietly devastating and beautiful at the same time-
some loves really do survive everything.
a/n: and this is it my loves 😭 we made it to the end, seungmin and y/n got back together and we're all crying. thank you SO much for reading this, you have no idea how much this has meant to me and i honestly can't thank you enough. this is the end of their journey in the show HOWEVER... we still have some story left because we can't let them go now that they're back together, can we? that's why an epilogue will come out shortly because you know me and you know i'm always hiding something and this is part of it (and who knows what else i might be hiding 🫣)
the library
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It is time, I am finally working on the fic that is for an audience of exactly one (me) and I'm very excited. part fic, part game (for me), part improv exercise, so it's gonna be a little out there
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