raising our voices
stray kids 9th member au,, m.list
conflict between two members has been going on ever since kirei joined the boys. three weeks go by and kirei decides she has had enough of it, but perhaps getting involved wasn’t the best decision.
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every family fights. i knew that, however i didn't expect it to happen so soon in stray kids. when i first met the rest of the boys, they all seemed to get along perfectly. they all seemed incredibly close during that first practice we had together. but it had been nearly three weeks since then and i had quickly caught on to the conflict happening between jisung and hyunjin. i also discovered, from jisung, that there was no specific reason for their feud; they apparently just didn't get along.
when i first noticed the snappy comments between them, all i wanted to do was get them to stop. i felt this urge to try and resolve their conflict, but seungmin discouraged me from doing so, saying that it was probably best that i didn't get involved. i understood at first, whatever their issue was it wasn't any of my business. however, as these three weeks went by i had to admit that the whole feud was starting to become more and more of my business, and everyone else's too.
the constant nagging between the two was tiring and always brought the mood down whenever the group was practicing, we could never catch a break. even if it was their issue, it was affecting the whole group. i can always see it on the members' faces, the look of irritation or fatigue. so it became evident to me pretty quickly that their business was also my business, it was the whole group's business.
not all of us happened to live together just yet, so far there was only a few members living in a dorm together. the company had told us that they would let us all move in once we started shooting the reality show, so for now i was living alone in my parents house.
my parents are currently living in my hometown, gold coast, back in australia. but they own a house here in seoul, which i've been living in by myself for the last few months. this meant i could escape the arguing when i was home, but this still has never stopped the constant urge to intervene anytime hyunjin and jisung fight.
today happened to be a bad day, i arrived to practice late because my bus from school got delayed. i also left my umbrella at home this morning, not aware that it was meant to rain, and got soaked on my way back from school. and the cherry on top was that i forgot to put a change of clothes in my locker at jyp, meaning i had arrived in a drenched school uniform with nothing to change into. minho has very kindly let me borrow his spare clothes, which consisted of merely grey sweatpants and a black tshirt.
i was not in a good mood to say the least, and i was certainly not in the mood to hear any arguing between hyunjin and jisung.
the practice started off normally, with a quick warm up and some stretches like we usually did. we also started learning some choreography for warrior's descendant, the song that we'd perform at the upcoming showcase. it was just about one month away so we has time to practice and perfect the dance.
there was one particular move that jisung seemed to have trouble getting the hang of, which didn't really matter for now as we had a lot of time to practice before the showcase. hyunjin, however wasn't letting him off the hook.
"jesus jisung you can't even do this simple move, how the hell are we going to able to debut if you keep making small mistakes?" hyunjin remarked, frustrating jisung who didn't hesitate to snap back.
"at least i can rap and sing properly, shame you're only good at dancing"
usually i was patient with the two of them, but my mood today definitely did not have the patience to tolerate their pointless arguing. usually i'd try to think before i say anything or try not to raise my voice, however i wasn't in the right head space to do this today.
"oh my god can the both of you stop arguing for once? it's tiring and it's bothering everyone here, grow up guys." i snapped mindlessly, not realizing an argument would break out afterwards.
"yah, it's none of your business. so stop trying to get involved in something that doesn't regard you. if it bothers you so much you can go back to the female trainees." he spat, looking directly into my eyes with a vicious stare. it was probably the first time i had ever made actual eye contact with him too. i was to angry to even care about what he had said about me, all i wanted was the feud to stop.
"hey hyunjin don't say things like that" minho butted in. hyunjin didn't pay much attention to him however.
"look leave kirei alone she hasn't done anything, all she wants is peace, but your too much of an ass to make any effort at all" jisung said, defending me. i appreciated his defence, but i also wanted to speak for myself.
"you're making it everyone's business by constantly starting shit!" at this point i was just mad, mad that he wasn't listening, mad that he was being selfish and disregarding how everyone was feeling.
over the last three weeks, i hadn't had any trouble getting to know the others guys. i was able to get really close to them, even changbin who had been awkward for the first week — turns out he was just overwhelmed by my addition do stray kids, but also constantly reassured me that he did want me in the group. the only person that i had made no progress with whatsoever was hyunjin. even when i tried starting up conversations during or after practice, he'd always give me short responses and just walk away. there was simply just zero effort being made, and it was becoming extremely frustrating honestly. this probably added to the reason i was getting riled up.
"okay guys! cut it out! seriously!" it was bang chan's loud voice resonating through the whole practice room that made the three of us silent. we all stared at him, not knowing what to say at all.
"i'm honestly really disappointed in how unprofessional the three of you are being right now. kirei, you're right, the bickering is incredibly tiring for the team, but raising our voices like this only makes it worse. i'm expecting more from you three in the future. so please, just cool off for the rest of the practice and figure this out peacefully in your own time." bang chan finished, clearly not impressed in how the three of us had acted today.
in a way, i was frustrated that my efforts were being discredited. but i ultimately understood chan, he was only doing his job as leader. perhaps i had acted irrationally, we all would have been better off talking about everything privately.
the rest of the practice went by without any more snarky comments. i think the two boys got the message, loud and clear. when practice finally came to an end, i noticed chan giving the three of us a look, a look that seemed to be encouraging the three of us to talk. so, i said goodbye to the other guys as they packed up their stuff and left; i once again thanked minho for the clothes.
soon the practice room was left with only myself, jisung and hyunjin. not wanting to waste anytime, i immediately began to question hyunjin.
"look hyunjin, i have absolutely no problems with you. i want to be friends, so if i did anything to you can you please talk this out with me? for the sake of the team." i questioned, he seemed to have let his guard down quite a bit. he sat down cross legged on the floor, jisung and i quickly followed.
"i'm sorry i've been such an asshole to you for the last three weeks, you really don't deserve it i'm just an idiot." he said running his hands through his hair, visibly annoyed at himself. he looked up at me, and i gave him a look encouraging him to continue.
"i guess, when i first met you during that monthly evaluation i had been crushing on you for a few weeks and i was just shy and awkward. i got over it pretty quickly but when chan mentioned you were joining us, i don't know, i just felt weird. and when you finally came, i just felt even more awkward because i didn't know how to react this whole 9 boys - 1 girl concept. either way, it's no excuse to the way i've treated you, especially today. so i just want to say sorry, i really am." what chan had said seemed to have really made hyunjin think, because he had poured his entire heart out in a matter of minutes.
i felt grateful that he had finally let his guard down and told me what was going on. i had to admit i didn't expect him to have crushed on me, but it was in the past, nearly two years ago, it didn't matter anymore. on the other hand, i could sense how jisung felt in that moment, probably not expecting hyunjin to open up like had.
"i understand hyunjin, and thank you for saying all of that. i accept your apology. i just hope that we can be on good terms and get close now" i stated, to which hyunjin nodded and gave me a warm smile. in three weeks he had never smiled at me like that, it made me happy.
"well, i guess i'm done here then" i said, getting up from the floor and grabbing my things. i looked at jisung, who's was begging with his eyes for me not to go. but i knew that it was better if i left them, it was their issue not mine and they needed to figure this out for themselves.
"please try to talk things out, i don't care if you guys aren't best buddies afterwards. just at least try to resolve it or agree to be professional. i'll see you tomorrow boys." i finished before walking out of the practice room. i felt satisfied with how the day had wrapped up, sure it had it's ups and downs but i learned a lot.
we were a family, and no family is perfect. we argue, we fight. but in the end family is family, the love will always be there.
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word count :: 1.7k words.
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