(Little Bubba and family–also it felt weird to refer to Chop-Top as Paul but I expect he got the name Chop-Top after coming back from ‘Nam with that head injury? And didn’t have the nickname as a child?)
Drayton’struck rumbled down the dirty road that lead away from Sawyerproperty, out towards the gas station, past an old cemetery, andeventually into the heart of town which wasn’t much. But Bubba rockedexcitedly in his seat next to Drayton. He didn’t get to go into townoften on account of wearing the mask on his face. Drayton saidit ‘unsettled’ people but Bubba wasn’t sure what that meant. It was anice mask that Drayton had made for him out of the softest cowleather so it didn’t hurt his face but protected it from things thatdid. Drayton had even allowed him to make a few sloppy stitches ontothe mask which had pleased Bubba very much. If he learned how thenmaybe one day he could make one all on his own.
Bubbapeered out the window as the truck trundled. They passed fields thatwere freshly plowed and sewn with cotton seeds and through thecracked window Bubba could smell the strong scent of tilled earth.The cotton fields soon faded and turned to wild countryside full of tallgreen spring grasses and dappled with bright pops of color from theblooming blue bonnets. The color of the flowers was so intense thatit almost hurt his eyes to look and yet they were so pretty hecouldn’t possibly look away. He pressed his fingers to the glass ofthe window and licked his teeth, then took a deep breath, now fillinghis nose with the scent of the wild grasses and flowers insteadof the dirt.
Whata birthday present! It was nice to go for a ride with his brother.Drayton had promised something special for his birthday and this musthave been it. Oh, Drayton was harsh with him sometimes, sometimesscared him when his voice was loud or when he hit him for beingfoolish or messing things up, but sometimes he could be very kindtoo.
“Now,when we get into town you’ll have to take your mask off. Understand?”
Bubbatouched the stitching on his mask and shook his head fretfully.
“Iknow it hurts your face to go on without it,” Drayton said, “butyou’ll learn, boy will you learn—sometimes life is pain! Oh, itsure is. But it’ll only hurt a lick, then you’ll get through it, andwhy… I suppose you might get a present out of the deal. You justgotta behave, do what I tell ya to do, and be a good boy. So thatmeans you’ll have to take your mask off just a bit.”
Bubbaflexed the fingers of one hand repetitively as he struggled betweenagreeing to obey his older brother, and knowing how it would hurt…
“Nineyears old… you’re a big boy now,” Drayton said, and he took hiseyes off the road to glance over at his brother. “A real big boy toboot—you grow outta clothes more often than a dog licks it’s dick.”
Bubbalooked down at his shirt, not quite understanding Drayton’s analogy,and temporarily distracted from his decision. He had put on his niceshirt since he was going out of the house. Bubba liked to look nicewhen he could—for dinner or the rare outing. The buttons werepulling across his chest and especially over his belly. The cuffs ofhis pants were riding well up his shins too and his feet were all butcrammed into his shoes.
“Hm!”Bubba said, and touched each one of the buttons on his shirt all theway from the collar, down to the last, and up again.
“Iknow it’s your nice shirt. We’ll find you a new one I s’pose… soyou can grow out of it in a months time,” Drayton shook his headand repeated, “never seen a boy grow outta clothes like that.Nubbins and Paul were small little things—didn’t get their growin’til they were a lot older than you.”
Bubbatuned out the rest of Drayton’s droning on about him, how he wasgoing to be the size of an oak tree, and maybe they shouldn’t feedhim so much…
Bubbasupposed he would take his mask off once they got into town. It wasso rarely that he had such a treat so he must obey and he could be abig boy, and a good boy, and withstand his face hurting for a littlewhile. And a present! Drayton had said that he would get a present.
Soonthey passed the gas station and then the graveyard too.
Once in town Draytonpulled the truck into a space along Main Street.
“Well,here we are,” Drayton said.
Bubbatrailed his fingers nervously around the edges of his mask. Hisstomach seemed to tie up into a tight knot as he anticipated how it wouldhurt.
“Takeit off like a bandage, a rip and it’s done!” Drayton said, reachingfor the mask.
Bubbacowered away from him and made a sudden noise. He wanted to do ithimself if it was to be done at all.
“Alrightthen, do it, boy,” Drayton said.
Bubbaloosed the straps on his mask and it fell away from his face and intohis lap. The spring sun shining through the windshield stungimmediately like pin-prickles all over his cheeks, and nose, andforehead. He made a small whining sound.
“Here,wear this. Least it’ll keep the sun off your face,” Drayton said,and he fetched a straw hat from the back of his truck and placed iton top of Bubba’s nest of wild brown curls. The feel of the innerband pressed against his forehead was uncomfortable but it did helpwith the sun.
Bubbaremembered that he was supposed to get a present and he decided itwas better to think about that than the pressure of the band or the pain of his face.
Upongetting out of the truck Drayton came around and took Bubba by thehand. He was old enough he wouldn’t need an adult to hold his handbut around people that weren’t family Bubba often became confused andupset. Since he wasn’t allowed out much his world consisted of hisbrothers and the animals on the farm. On the occasion he did get togo somewhere, even just to the shops in the heart of a small, smalltown, on a lazy day… it still made the world seem so big andstrange to him. Though there were only a few people milling around on thesidewalks it was still too many. They were strangers, unknowns, andthey filled him with fear that made him feel sick and brought theurge to wiggle the fingers of his one hand, or to hit himself in thehead, or to cry out at Drayton in a string of gibberish.
Hehunched his shoulders and moved closer to Drayton for protection, andsqueezed his hand as tightly as he could, keeping his gaze down atthe cracks in the sidewalk instead of looking at any people.
“Lookup while ya walk or you’ll run into somethin’. How many times have Itold ya?” Drayton admonished him.
Insituations like this it almost physically hurt him to hold his headup and look straight ahead. Keeping his eyes averted to the ground seemedsafer. He didn’t want to see the other people around them. They weretoo many, too much, too big, too loud, too strange and unknown. Theirshoes tapping along as they walked just seemed to grow louder andlouder until it was all he could hear vibrating inside his ears. Hesqueezed Drayton’s hand harder still. He was trying so hard to begood—so hard! But now that they were here he just wanted to go hometo safety again.
“Lookhere,” Drayton said as they came to a stop.
Eventhough they had stopped walking it seemed to take a moment for everything tofall into place around him. The world just kept moving even whenBubba stood still sometimes; bright, and noisy, and offensive. Heglanced up a bit to see Drayton pointing, and then he followed thedirection to the door of a shop.
“TheGeneral Store,” Drayton said, “we come here once last summer,”Drayton paused, and frowned, “a lady scared ya and you wetyourself. I hope you’re gonna do better this time. Couldn’t get thesmell a urine outta my truck for months.”
Bubbanodded. He remembered the scary woman with a queasy feeling. But hesupposed that if anyone scared him today he would do much better andnot wet—after all he finally stopped doing that in his bed at night so he must be growing up for real.
Bubbawent over the list of things he was to do and not do in his head:don’t think about your face hurting, don’t howl if you get excited,keep your head up and look ahead, don’t get scared by a lady, anddon’t pee.
Itwas a lot of things but he wanted his promised present and evenmore importantly he really wanted to be a good boy.
“Inwe go,” Drayton said, leading him on into the store.
Alittle bell chimed above the door when they entered, which startledBubba. He hunched and glanced around briefly trying to pinpoint thesource of the noise. Upon seeing the bell at the top of the door hehad the urge to ring it again, and again, to hear the chime over andover. Now that he knew where the sound was coming from it was not an unpleasant sound.Most unpleasant sounds just came from other people.
“Howdythere, Drayton. Who’d y'bring there?” A big man wearing an apronpeered at them from behind a counter.
Bubbawas briefly concerned with him but then his attention was distractedto the array of colorful candies in jars and barrels all alongshelves and the outer part of the counter. The excitement wasbuilding and already he wanted to yowl with joy like a happy pup. Thefear of the people around him was replaced with happiness at all thepretty things he could see. Oh, there were a lot of things, prettythings, all around him and that was overwhelming too but that atleast felt better. He wanted to scramble away from Drayton and toucheverything. How did everything feel, and smell, and what was theweight of it if he held it in his hands? What would he touch first?He made a small whining sound but Drayton squeezed his hand.
“Why,I brought Bubba today!” Drayton answered the man behind thecounter. “He’s nine years old today! Nine! You remember bein’ nineyears old? Boy what a time to be alive. Catchin’ frogs at the creekand runnin’ barefoot through the grass!”
“Nine?Lord amighty he’s the size of a house! What you been feedin’ thatboy?”
Draytonside-eyed Bubba with an odd little look, gave the boy a smirk, and alittle giggle and spark in his eyes before turning back tostore clerk.
“Oh,nothin’ special,” Drayton said, “just good ol’ Texas homecookin’. Family recipes! We put real heart into our cookin’! Ah—ourhearts that is! A Sawyer ain’t a Sawyer if he don’t know his wayaround the kitchen! You might say we make it finger lickin’good—ha–our fingers the ones to be licked, a course.”
Bubbawas ignoring the adults conversation and just itching to look allaround the store.
“Wejust come in for Bubba to pick out a present. It’s his birthday,y'see, and for once I got a little extra in my pocket so… I thoughtI’d let the boy have a treat,” Drayton explained, “go on, Bubba.You look around but be real careful. Pick out somethin’ you wantwhile me an’ Earl here shoot the shit, as they say. Go on.”
Bubbaheaded away from Drayton to have a look around the shop.
Herewas a huge barrel full of peanuts and when the men weren’t lookingBubba sneaked one away and licked it. Upon tasting how salty theouter shell was he hated it and promptly put it right back. He madehis way down an aisle containing all sorts of boxes and cans withthings on it that he mostly he couldn’t read. He recognized the word‘flour’ on some dusty bags, and 'sugar’ since those were things heoften watched Drayton cook with and Drayton had eventually taught himwhat the words on the bags were. It had taken months of pointing andrepetition. Bubba could messily write some words too but that wasfrom taking a very long time to memorize them. Understanding how theletters went together was a little more complicated and sometimes itseemed like too much to understand. Drayton said it was okay, thatNubbins couldn’t read or write much either, always jumbled around allthe letters—and that apparently Bubba wouldn’t ever need to knowhow anyway.
Stillsometimes he wanted to know how to do things. He felt proud when hecould finally learn something and do it right. All those timesDrayton had looked at him in a kind of sad way, and told him thingsjust wouldn’t stick… but sometimes he surprised them and they didstick after all if people gave him enough time to practice, and toremember, and didn’t get too mad when he got things wrong.
Herecognized the word 'soap’ on a box on the next aisle and alsoremembered that it wasn’t for eating. Nubbins had once convinced himthat it was for eating, that it was in fact good for him, and Bubbahad eaten quite a few handfuls of the terrible tasting, gritty,powder and then spent the next few hours throwing up foam andhollering in pain while Drayton slapped a giggling Nubbins. Anothertime he had been convinced to eat dog poo and then he’d gotten wormsout his bottom, and yet another time he had been convinced to chew ona leaf of poison ivy. The terrible itch in his mouth and throat wouldnever be forgotten. Drayton had tied his wrists at one point to keephim from clawing his neck to shreds in a desperate attempt to relievethe itch inside.
Inthe end Bubba had been strictly told to never eat anything that hisbrothers told him to.
FinallyBubba stumbled upon an aisle full of children’s toys. He was amazedat everything—so many—where to start? There were paddle boards,rubber balls, marbles, jacks, tops in all sorts of bright colors,wooden cars, a set of wooden blocks, soft looking dolls and furryteddy bears with big ribbons around their necks. How pretty! Bubbareached out to one of the bears and pet the soft fur over and overand then ran his fingers along the smooth and shiny surface of thebow too. He wanted to wear a bow around his neck!
Hetouched the yarn braids on the dolls, and their button eyes, and then he sat down with one of the wooden cars and just stared at thewheels as he spun them. He was completely fascinated with the littlebits and pieces of things and had Drayton stayed talking to hisfriend for hours Bubba could have been completely happy to spend justas much time in silence spinning wheels on cars, or touchingbutton-eyes, or ribbons. The feeling of becoming entranced by thesethings was good—it shut down the rest of the world and narrowed hisfocus onto something calming and fascinating. It even helped tosubdue the pain in his face a bit.
Finallyhe replaced the car though his fingers still itched to keep spinningthe wheels. There were so many other things he wanted to touch and tolook at and it might be a very long time before Drayton ever broughthim back here again.
Headmired a train set, and a bright red fire engine, a wooden pop gun,and a display of shiny yo-yos. He got down onto all fours to peerinto the windows of a painted doll house and was delighted to seelittle people inside. There was a little metal robot that walked ifyou wound a key in the back, and a dog that wagged its tail if youwound a key in its belly, and more dolls of all shapes and sizes—withpretty little dresses and happy faces. Bubba clapped his hands indelight. He loved all of them!
Heworried his thick lower lip with his teeth—some still small whileothers had been lost and replaced with too-large adult teeth. All ofthem were crooked and seemingly shoved into his mouth every whichway.
Whichthing would he choose for his present? There were just so manychoices that he was certain he couldn’t ever decide. It was alwaysdifficult. It felt better when someone just told him what to do or atleast only made him pick between two things. Even then it was stillhard to decide.
Thoughhe loved the cars there were already cars at home that grandpa hadcarved for him, and there were a few blocks scattered here and there,and even a dirty old doll with missing glass eyeballs. It wasn’t apretty doll like the ones here and Bubba decided that he wantedsomething pretty. Maybe he should pick a new doll. He would be oh-so-careful not to letit get dirty. He licked his teeth and drew his fingers over the rosypainted cheeks of one of the dolls.
Butmaybe something that he didn’t have would be better. He could stillpick something pretty…
Hisgaze fell onto a little tea set painted with delicate blue flowers.They reminded him of the blue bonnets dazzling the spring countrysideand that made up his mind for him.
Clutchingthe box with the tea set inside Bubba hurried back to the front ofthe store where Drayton was leaning on the counter 'shooting theshit’ Bubba supposed. He held up the tea set for Drayton to see andmade an excited sound.
Butdon’t be too noisy or people might stare, Bubba remembered, so hetried his best to contain himself. It was a lost cause, however, as he began to wiggle all over like adog getting a really good belly scratch.
“Alright,that’s what you want. Calm down now,” Drayton said, taking the teaset from Bubba’s hands and placing it onto the counter.
“Youbuyin’ yer brother this for his birthday?” the clerk eyed Bubbaand then Drayton concerningly. “Pardon my sayin’ so but anine-year-old boy ought to be playin’ with boy things. Not no damngirly tea set. Lord amighty, Drayton, he don’t know what to pick. Gopick 'im out somethin’ he’ll like. Maybe a… a car, or a play toolset, or hell a boy his age can have himself a nice knife.”
“Oh,we got more than enough knives around our house,” Drayton said,“Bubba knows what he likes. He done picked that out. You gonna takemy money for it or stand there lookin’ like you sucked on a lemon?”
“Nowsee here, Earl. We don’t get any extra pennies too often, and it’sthe boy’s birthday, I said. You wouldn’t deny a simple child thepleasure of havin’ a thing he wants on his birthday, would ya? Ithought you were a stand-up guy, not some dog dick sumbitch!”Drayton drew a few crumpled dollar bills from his pocket and placedthem on the counter.
“Itain’t right,” he muttered as he slid the tea set into a paper bag,“even a simple-minded boy ought to know better’n to play with girls things. He’ll grow up to be somekind of…”
Bubbacowered back as Drayton leaned over the counter and gave the clerk alook that usually put the fear of God into Bubba himself.
“Bubba’sjust Bubba, and he’ll grow up to be a fine Sawyer, just like the restof us… unlike you McCoys. Ya’ll can’t seem to keep yer opinions toyerself. Well my pa used to say opinions are like assholes,everybody’s got 'em, and they mostly stink.”
Draytonsnatched the paper bag from Earl.
“Finethen. Uh—listen, don’t be upset,” he said to Bubba, who was stillcowering, “I’d rather not have to mop up a puddle a piss off myfloor… nine years old,” the man huffed. He drew a shiny redlollipop out of a jar on the counter and handed it to Bubba wholooked timidly at Drayton for permission to take it.
“Goahead,” Drayton said, “that chickenshit owes you a free candy andthen some! Upsetting you on yer birthday! The nerve some people have.That’s why you only trust Sawyers…” Drayton continued to rambleas he lead Bubba out of the store, Bubba happily licking on the tastylollipop.
Oncethey were home the lollipop was long since finished and Bubba’s lipsand the chin of his mask were smeared red and sticky. He wasoverjoyed to have his tea set and barely remembered to wash up beforeplaying with it. He didn’t want to get his new thing dirty with hissticky hands.
“Lookhere everyone!” Drayton called, “Bubba got a birthday gift…andI bet he’d like it if you boys sat yer asses down and had a littletea party with ‘im.”
Draytonmotioned to the kitchen floor where Bubba was carefully taking outeach cup and saucer and lining them up in a neat little row… firstthe teapot it was the tallest, then the cups, then the saucers.
“Ya gotta give the cups and saucers out to your brothers. Like this here,”Drayton said, kneeling down to place a saucer and then a teacup ontop of it. “I’ll fill 'em up with some water and ya’ll can makebelieve. Here, gimme the teapot.”
Bubbaheld the teapot protectively to his chest.
“Iain’t gonna break it! 'Less you don’t mind me…” Drayton added.
Bubbaquickly handed over the teapot but he didn’t feel relieved untilDrayton had finished pouring the 'tea’ and the pot was placed backsafely at his side.
“Idon’t wanna play with no tea set…” Paul complained, pushing hisglasses up on his nose.
“It’syer brother’s birthday!” Drayton shouted, “do what I’m tellin’you to do!”
Nubbinshad already sat down on the floor with Bubba and was grinning,giggling a little, running one fingertip along the rim of his teacup.
“Itain’t real tea, dummy,” Paul said, “but uh… yeah. Yeah, prettycool gift, Bubba. Slap me five!” he held his hand out for Bubba toslap, then Bubba held his hand out, and Paul slapped it back. Bubbagrinned widely, delighted that his brothers were going to play withhim.
“Dowe get gifts too?” Nubbins asked, lifting the teacup and sloshingsome water onto his shirt.
“Itain’t your birthdays!” Drayton hollered over his shoulder fromwhere he was washing up dishes the boys had left in the sink frombreakfast.
“Hey—hey,wait a minute!” Paul placed a hand on his brother’s arm to stop himfrom drinking, “you gotta put up yer little finger like this,” hedemonstrated while lifting his own cup. “All proper like. Bubbalikes things to be all nice and proper like, don’t'cha.”
Bubbanodded his head several times and then mimicked the way his brotherswere holding their teacups, a pudgy pinky stuck out, he carefullysipped the 'tea’ through the mouth hole of his mask.
Itwas just about the best birthday ever.
kianamaiart
pixelskylines
kaledo-art
stormborns
areudirty
