Pour le pire
Summary : I never meant to become part of their world, but maybe I was always meant to be here. They claimed me, hunted me, bled for me. Their love is obsession, their devotion a cage, but I’ve never been one to break easily. They don’t just own me, I own them too. Their love is possessive, suffocating, but I don’t mind the way their hands bruise or the way their knives carve. If this is madness, then I’ll sink into it willingly. After all, love is just another form of power, and I refuse to be the one who breaks first.
Chapter 6 : What lies beyond
Proxies x fem!reader
TW : OOC, toxic behaviour, description of violence, foul language
Chapter 5 - Chapter 7
A/N : Hey guys ! So sorry for not being there and updating, I made a small update on my blog concerning why, but I'm back and intend to finish this story, love <3
3.7 K words
I waited, it felt like hours but when I looked at the TV only thirty minutes had passed. I wanted to be sure that none of them would come back early because they forgot something, if I get caught doing it I’m as good as dead I think. I started looking through the cracks in the planks hiding the windows, wondering if I’ll catch a glimpse of them in the woods, considering there was no light it was difficult to see, but there was nothing. No movement, no silhouette. They’re really gone. My plan can finally start.
I started looking through every cabinet in the kitchen, I just needed to find a knife or a cutter, anything to cut the wallpaper around the door. I opened all the drawers, carefully closing them after my search. After the third or fourth one I finally found what I was looking for. The knife I held in my head seemed to weigh more than what it truly was, every thought that I had about escaping, about finally understanding was materializing in my hand. My hand felt heavy, as did my mind, while I was approaching the hidden door. I stood in front of it, trembling with fear and curiosity. While my original plan was escaping, the need to know what lies behind is stronger.
I started to cut down the line that separated the door and the wall, the adrenaline started quickly filling my veins as I realised what I was doing. Not even an hour ago I was promising Tima and Brian that I wouldn’t do anything stupid and here I am. I can’t believe I’m even thinking about them right now, they’re my captors, I don’t care what they think about me. At least I shouldn't.
The door was quickly freed, I pushed against it before realising that you had to pull… Damn.
The moment it opened, a putrid smell hit my nose. It was almost like someone left out eggs, fish and rotten meat all in the same room under the sun for days. It’s the kind of smell that you never forget, and when it hits you again you immediately know what it is. That’s the smell of death. And not the recent one, what’s in there has probably been there for at least some days and not conserved very well. I am not that shocked honestly, they are murderers that were to be expected. That doesn’t stop me in my quest though as I pulled my sweater over my nose trying to block some of the smell. It started to make my head dizzy as I stepped through the door, and made my way through the darkness.
I noticed a switch on the right side of the door, when I turned it on it illuminated the path leading to the stairs. I couldn’t see past the stairs so the rest of the basement was still a mystery. The only thing I know is that the closer I get the worse the smell is, tears started running down my face from how horrible it was. I reluctantly made my way down the stairs, slowly uncovering the hidden mysteries of this room.
As I descended the stairs my sight was immediately stuck on two bright blue barrels, it doesn’t take a genius to know what’s in there. But my sight was now stuck on a small window, open and letting cold air in, and huge flies making their ways in and out. I didn’t notice at first but I could now see that on the barrels, maggots were crawling around. I held a look of pure disgust as I had to make my way around them, trying not to crush them as the sound would probably make me puke.
Even though my sweater did a good job at preventing the smell from assaulting my nose, the closer I got the worse it gets. I keep repeating this but I don’t know how else to describe it. The way the maggots crawl around, almost trying to reach me and show me the work they have done is honestly worse than the smell. With the amount I can see on the floor and on the barrels I can only imagine what the bodies look like. Well I won’t imagine for long. I know I can always turn back, make my way out of the house and escape, I still have all the time in the world. But I need answers. I get my hand on the first lid and open it.
The smell is even worse now, and at first all I can see are maggots. I manage to move some of them with my knife, managing to not touch them. I immediately recognise who is looking at me, it’s Cameron. I’m not surprised, they said they took care of his body. It’s only fair after what I did to him, now he can rot with the maggots like he deserves. The only question left is who is in the second barrel. I know Brian “promised” that they didn’t do anything, but I can’t help being scared. She went missing first, right at the same time Cameron and I went missing, it’s not just an ugly coincidence I’m sure it’s her in there.
I carefully removed the lid, mentally preparing myself for what I was about to see, and silently praying that I am wrong. But as always I’m right. There isn’t a lot left of her, maggots are crawling on her, out of her, inside of her. I can’t even see her eyes anymore. I recognised her by her hair, she still has those pink highlights in her black hair. The tears that are running down my face are not because of the smell now. I knew that she was dead, but why is she here ? What have they done to her ? She didn’t deserve this, not to end like this. I know that it’s not my fault, it’s theirs. But what does that mean for me ? Will they get rid of me now ? I know they have killed, that they can, and probably will kill me too. I still don’t understand why they had to kill her, and judging the timeline it was before I killed Cameron, which doesn’t make any sense.
Panic slowly submerged me, the underlying sense that I was going to die soon made me act quick. I don't care about crushing some poor maggots now, I have to act quickly before they come back. I run back up the stairs, aiming for my goal, the only window without barricades. I still don’t know who’s room it is, but it’s the last of my problems right now. I quickly reached the room, the window obviously doesn’t open no matter how hard I hit the lock. The room isn’t empty though, there is probably something that will be able to break it. I don’t care about the mess I’m making, I turn over the bed, the nightstand and head straight to the wardrobe. I open it, finding clothes and garbage, but most importantly a crowbar.
I made my way towards the window, smashing it to pieces multiple times, letting out my anger at the same time. Shards now litter the floor, while a cold wind blows through my hair. The tension I felt slowly decreased now that freedom seemed only a step away. The nighttime really doesn’t help with the temperature, I should probably go back and bring a jacket before I freeze to death.
The moment I tried to turn around, it was as if something pulled me back. When I looked in the darkness I couldn’t see what it was, until I saw it. A tall figure, almost blending in with the trees. I was scared at first that it was one of the boys, but now that I’m looking at it, it’s obviously not. I can’t even describe it, the fact that it is night of course not helping. I just know that something is wrong, terribly wrong. The harder I look, the more my ears buzz, and the more this sinking feeling seeps deep into my gut. It’s like it’s looking directly at me even though I can’t see eyes on its pale face. The static filling my head is becoming almost unbearable, my nose started itching, and before I realised something was running down on my mouth and dripping down on the floor. As if having a mind of her own, my hand wiped the liquid, which I quickly realised was blood. I looked at my hand in shock before looking back into the forest. I couldn’t see it anymore.
The buzzing slowly subdued but my nose kept bleeding. My thoughts were still in shambles, and all thoughts of freedom were quickly discarded. As if my mind was on autopilot, I just went down the stairs and made my way to the couch, silently lying on it with all my hopes shattered. Fear and hopelessness were the only things I could feel. Whatever it was, it completely ruined any chance I had at escaping. I think whatever was out there gave me a warning, a permanent mark imbued in my mind as to what was awaiting me if I left. And I got the message loud and clear. After all, when they come back I might not even stay alive long enough to know what would have happened if I went out. And even then, with what I saw in the basement, I’m as good as dead. I wonder if it was their plan all along, play with their victims before they eventually push them in a situation where they have a “reason” to kill them. Am I even the first ? Well I probably won’t be the last.
Show after show, I watched as the hours passed by, time spent wondering when they would be back, my mind still hazy from everything that happened. At some point I could hear voices through the front door, mostly Toby’s of course. The door opened, and the voices sounded clearer, it seemed like they were talking about what happened out there. But suddenly their footsteps stopped as well as their conversation. They probably noticed the wide open door leading to the basement, I wonder if I even turned off the light. And while I expected a lot of screaming, all I heard was their quiet shuffling coming in my direction, I didn’t bother to look at them, my eyes focused on the screen in front of me. I then heard footsteps quickly coming my way, before seeing Tim’s face in my vision. He gripped my collar tightly, bringing my back to the couch, the anger on his face scared me but it was quickly replaced with confusion. Probably after seeing all the blood on my face and clothes.
“Did you knock yourself over going down the stairs ? Why the hell is there blood everywhere ?”
I just looked at him straight in the eyes, with no energy left in my body. “No, it just started bleeding on its own.”
A frown reappeared on his face. “You know what, I don't even care, why did you go into the basement when I warned you not to do it ?”
I started feeling even more scared seeing him riled up. “I just wanted to know what was in there, I don’t know why I did it. I-I didn’t think it would be her. Why is she even here ? Uh ? Brian promised you guys didn’t do anything. So tell me why is she here ?” Anger quickly replaced sadness as my voice trembled slightly.
Tim got up in a huff. “Don’t turn this situation on us now, we warned you not to go in there, you did, and now you’re angry about what you found. It's none of your business what’s down there you shouldn’t have looked !”
In the corner of my eye I could see Toby and Brian just standing in the corner, the look in their eyes indescriptible. But I couldn’t care less, I was seething with rage and fear. “What do you mean ‘none of my business’ ? She was my best friend and you killed her, you psychos ! You even had the nerve to lie about it, acting like we were all getting along while she was rotting downstairs. I don’t even know why I’m trying to explain myself, I know it’s just a matter of time before I end up in one of those barrels too…” My anger started turning into feelings of sadness and resignation.
While I was shouting I noticed in the corner of my eye Brian making his way upstairs, probably following the trail of blood, while Toby went downstairs closing the barrels again.
Tim on the other hand looked almost bewildered but also filled with anger.
“Yeah well you’re really going to end up like your girl if you keep pulling shit like this and annoying us with all your screaming. Just be glad we’re tired today or this could have gone a lot worse.”
His brown eyes also adorn deep blue eyebags probably from lack of sleep, and his general posture screamed of exhaustion. Before I could retort something, Brian walked down the stairs as Toby made his way back up, but Brian seemed hesitant before speaking up.
“Did you hurt yourself when you smashed the window ? Is that why you didn’t run ?”
Tim and Toby looked taken aback, probably flabbergasted that their weak window defense didn' t last against me, well Brian didn’t tell them about the crowbar, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to pull the wooden planks and smash freezing glass with my bare hands.
“No not at all, I was gonna run but… Something stopped me.” I felt almost embarrassed saying it, as if I couldn’t believe what really happened.
Toby shot up from his spot to get closer to me. “What do you mean, d-did you see something ?”
I could sense their eyes trying to invade my thoughts, as shy and uncomfortable as I felt I decided to tell them. “Well it’s hard to explain, I was climbing out the window when I looked out into the forest when I saw something. At first I thought it was like a bear or something but it looked vaguely human, and then I thought it must be one of you but… It had no face, and it was tall, pale and lanky. Then suddenly my head began buzzing, I had this weird feeling that if I got out of the house something bad would happen. That’s also when my nose started bleeding, but it stopped a bit after I was back in the house, just like the headache.”
The moment I started describing what I saw, their eyes widened and they started looking around the room at each other, almost in understanding. Tim slowly backed off and went up to talk to the two others, whispering to themselves, leaving me on the couch looking like a lost child awaiting its punishment. I could make out the words ‘Boss’, ‘Work’ and ‘watching’ but I guess the headache didn’t completely disappear as I had trouble hearing what they said. After some time though, Brian emerged from their little circle to talk to me, as always he seemed composed and calm, something I could feel when he started speaking to me. “I’m sorry for lying to you, I was really trying to get you to feel safe with us. I know right now you don’t understand why we had to do it, we’ll get past this. Now for what you saw in the forest, don’t worry about it, it’s nothing, as long as you start really following our orders nothing bad will happen.”
He said all this with a small smile on his face, as if anything that he was saying was normal. I almost wanted to retort something sarcastic, but what’s left of my common sense tells me that if I want to live another day, I’ll probably need to shut up on this one.
“I still have questions alright, you can’t expect me to follow you blindly into this. Just give me something to hold onto and I won’t ever disobey you again alright ?” I said almost pleading with him.
While we were talking, Tim moved into the kitchen probably to have a smoke, while Toby was still standing in the corridor. He slowly approached the couch I was on before looking at me with his tired eyes.
“T-tell you what, I don’t really c-care if you think it’s fair or not, but I’ll answer some of your questions if you start listening from now on, ok-kay ?”
He looked pretty serious saying this, I felt as if I could trust him so I nodded my head, trying to think of the most important questions.
“Well I don't know where to start, I’m so lost… Why did you kill Lilliane ? If you really wanted me to at least tolerate you then why ? It doesn’t make any sense.”
There was still defiance in the way I was speaking, my voice containing what anger I have left.
“D-Did you know she was screwing with C-Cameron b-behind your back ?”
Huh ?
“What the fuck are you talking about ?”
“Yeah and that guy you had a c-crush on at the start of the year, I read her texts, the moment you said you f-found him hot she got it on with him.”
“You’re lying.”
Lilliane was my best friend, granted we have known each other for like 8 months but she never showed any signs of being untrustworthy.
“yeah I knew you’d s-say t-that ! So I g-got her phone and all the p-pictures and t-texts are still inside.”
At that moment, curiosity took over me, I couldn’t believe him but a small voice inside of me told me to look, that maybe there was some sort of explanation.
I took the phone from his hands and started looking first through her pictures, there were tons of pictures of us, of her with her friends and family. It brought tears to my eyes but I continued to look. I didn't find any weird pictures at first, Toby looked quite impatient like he was sure I’d find something. But when I went back to the main menu I found an app. A fake calculator. I immediately checked it when I remembered a conversation I had with Lilliane, about how she had to hide things in there from an old boyfriend because she didn’t want him to snoop through her phone. The app was locked but her being her, the password was simply her birthday, how convenient.
My eyes widened the moment the app unlocked onto the pictures, tons of them with her and Cameron, and even some in suggesting poses with other people I had found attractive. From the timeline it looks like the last picture she had taken was at the party when she was still alive, in a room with Cameron. I couldn’t care less that she went after some guys but Cameron ? The one we both hated and insulted ? She knew how uncomfortable he made me feel, almost threatened, and she still went and slept with him. Even after he insulted me in front of everyone.
I started looking through their messages, unsurprisingly they were tearing into me, mocking me, and she even shared secrets that I only told her, just to humiliate me. I can’t believe how two faced she really is, how she could do this to me when I wanted nothing but her friendship. Tears fell from my eyes as I continued reading their messages, and all their insults towards me. I couldn’t even care about Cameron hating me, but her ? With how much time we spent together, and how much she seemed to love me. It really comes as a shock.
Still it didn’t answer my question, why did they kill her ? I tried to speak clearly although tears kept falling down.
“It still doesn’t explain why you had to do it. I get it she was not really my friend and a huge bitch on top, but why ?”
Toby looked dead serious when he started talking.
“That’s b-because we didn’t do it. Brian f-found her the morning after, she w-was d-dead in Cameron’s bed, he strangled her. They had a fight, she wanted to b-be official and he d-didn’t, I think he t-took something because he was really weird all n-night. Anyways, brian found her d-dead in his bed, and he was all freaked out about g-going to jail blah blah blah.”
His tone of voice was so nonchalant, as if he was merely telling a stupid drama that he had talked about a hundred times. My face was probably the opposite of what he was feeling, as I stood there shocked and aghast. Things are slowly being put into place.
“So that’s why he looked like that when he came for me, like he had nothing to lose.”
“Y-Yeah probably wanted to go in a b-bang before being put in jail.”
Beside him, Brian had at least the shame to look a bit embarrassed, he didn’t even look me in the eyes, while Toby was almost boisterous.
“A-and of course after you g-got him good, we had to take her t-too before anybody c-could discover her. Otherwise it’s t-too much trouble to take c-care of.”
I feel kind of stupid right now, I mean they did kidnap me and I still don’t really get why but, I guess right now I’m the one with a kill count.
But suddenly another question, just as important struck me.
“I still have another question, about what I saw in the forest.”
This time Brian looked me straight in the eyes, and looked a lot more serious.
“Yeah I think we’ll need a lot more time to explain this one to you. Tomorrow, after we rest, we’ll explain everything, how about that ?”
I could see the exhaustion in all their eyes, and after everything that was revealed to me I also longed to be in bed. Although I still don’t know how we’re going to fix my window.
