every saturday before you went into work, you made it a consistent and crucial routine to study in the school library at your college to keep up with your assignments and projects. you would go in the library, grab the same drink and sit at the same table, headphones homely placed in the cavern of your ears with you favorite music playing, pulling your laptop out and a journal with colorful notes. every step was almost robotic, whether you intended to or not, every action made always done the same way at the same time, never too late or too early.
you often were in your own little world, a metaphoric bubble surrounded you and your environment, unbothered and pure. touched and untainted. your shoulders would scrunch the worse your posture came, hunching over with the furrow of your brows, grimacing at the work written by your own hands, displeased. your teeth would nibble unconsciously at your lip, chewed restlessly as you were writing and in focus, eyes constantly re-reading your work and double checking for the fourth- no, fifth time. your leg would shake as you were in thought, staring at the ceiling, the pads of your fingers playing with each other as you wracked your brain. until finally, with a sigh, you would placed your head in the crook of your arms as they were folded on the table across the open computer and pile of paper, taking a mental break.
it was hard not to notice, the same person everyday, sitting and studying, doing the same habits that became almost comedic to watch. like rewatching your favorite re-run over and over again, thinking every moment was the best part even when you knew the whole scene word for word. at least, that's what it felt like to scaramouche, not that he would ever admit it. scaramouche noticed everything, from the type of shoes you wore most to the library, which leg crossed over the other more, even which hand was dominant and what class you were doing work for that day. blue was math, green was biology, red was literature. you were color coded, something he noticed first, before he realized you came every saturday, same time, same seat, same drink. the meticulous action made him curious, naturally, each week moving a foot or two closer, watching from his own laptop as he tried finishing his own biology work.
it was also hard not to notice how for the past 3 weeks you hadn't been showing up, your seat empty and void. where the hell did you go? he knew you weren't in any condensed classes, so there was no way you were 'done'. not when you had been consistently going for months- not like he's been keeping count. or cared. of course not, he knew nothing about you, not even a name. he knew you as the girl in the library, the robot in the library, same thing. so why now were you gone? it was enough to make him upset. and after the third week, he sat in your spot, a frown on his face with arms crossed, watching the clock countdown until it was 1 minute until you normally showed, eyes snapping to the sound of the door any chance he got. and each time it wasn't you, he'd scoff and mumble an insult, shifting his legs under the table.
now it was an hour after your usual time, growing impatient, scaramouche began gathering his things, calling himself stupid for wasting his time, calling you dumb for making him wait three whole weeks. why try a fourth time? he began packing his stuff, compiling loose paper into a stack with a huff, turning to stuff them in his bag. white converse caught his eye, brown and grey scuffs along the cloth and laces, obviously worn out and used. they were right behind him, eyes slowly trailing up to meet yours. and he knew, he knew they were your shoes. the sides of your shoes had bored stars along the side made in pen, both black and blue with some smears here and there. of course he knew it was you. so what was this feeling in his chest, why did his face feel hot? and why did you stare at him, unmoving and uncaring, one hand gripping your backpack strap that was slung over one shoulder, carrying what he knew what your computer, journal and pencil case.
"can i sit with you?"
"where have you been?"
the two questions mixed, and you remained without a nudge, eyes glinting in curiosity. the chair scratched the floor with a squeak, pulling it out from next to scaramouche and plopping down. your bag was put on top of the table, turning the chair towards the new male on your side. his question never went unheard, in fact it was loud and clear in your head, ringing with muse. you muttered up a laugh, flickering from blue hues and dark pupils, his eyelashes long and full, the flat area from his eyebrows creasing more the longer you stared.
"how'd you know I was gone?" scaramouche inwardly winced, a piece of him wanting to lie out of his ass. his brain wracked, thinking of a million different ways to tell you how he notices you, how he wants you to notice him too, but he could never come to terms to ever say that so directly, at least not now. with a scoff, he crossed him arms and leaned back into the hard back to the library chair,
"you're always here on the weekends, even the school rats and cockroaches know how you're here all the time. don't ask me something so stupid when the answer is so obvious."
maybe if you weren't so nonchalant, or maybe if you weren't so good at reading people, you would have failed to notice the light pink that dusted his cheeks and the tips of his ears, retracting very harsh words spilled out form such sweet lips. maybe you would have felt hurt and offended, taken aback by his rough exterior. but you weren't, and every ounce of scaramouche's body floated in relief when your melodic laughter was flowing through his ears, instead of the sound of you leaving.
"wow, even the cockroaches know me? its cute you notice how bugs know my weekly routines." you laughed while opening your computer open for your homework. it felt weird, your normal routine thrown off to the side with the interruption of your new friend, though you'd prefer if he'd be here every week with you, adding to your routine instead of crashing it for one day. he was interesting, and he was cute, sitting in your seat waiting for you and getting embarrassed as he covered up his harsh concern with a lame lie.
"I had problems at home, so I went back to see my parents and help them out. Its kind of far from here, so I ended up taking an extra week staying over and figuring out how to help them the best I can." you shrugged, the quiet clack and clicks of your keyboard echoing in between you two with a kind type of calm. you faced the screen, opening up different tabs for your (now piled on) homework and assignments from before. scaramouche listened quietly, watching your fingers press diligently on each letter, learning even more about you. how the way your fingers would pause between words and your thumb would rub over the pads of your digits, or your rings, before slowly getting back into the rhythm of typing again. he noticed how your words would jumbled up in gibberish when you typed too fast, and how your hands would swiftly fling to the backspace button, clicking a few times and typing the misspelled words over again, going back to press the backspace a little more aggressively this time as you were still spelling it incorrectly. it was cute, seeing your feelings and thoughts through your the fingers on the keyboard.
"how far is your home from here?" he mustered, almost surprised himself to ask without thinking. you pondered and leaned back in the chair, relishing in a little break.
"mm, I'd say 6 hours by car? there's a lot of traffic on the way so I always get stuck." you shrugged and slumped your shoulders, the silence carrying on for a few minutes. scaramouche flipped through the loose paper one the table, messy handwriting with biological terms and diagrams filling the page, reaching out to open his closed computer he almost put away. you both sat quietly, the conversation dead, yet comfortably basking in the independent study session. clicking of keyboards, scratches of pen scribbles, the tired sighs and annoyed yawns.
you had both found yourselves like this every week, joining each other at the designated study table at the same time on the same day, never failing to appear. even if there was nothing to study about, but sitting in the library chairs with them angled towards each other. scaramouch's hand held up his face, elbow propped upon the table as he listened intently to your rambling, explaining your dream from the previous night that had you in a frenzy when you woke. his face was relaxed, not tense or scrunched like it was when you first met him. he looked at you with azure orbs, completely enthralled and compelled as you spoke. within these past few weeks of the routine meetups for hours, he couldn't help but notice the pull of his heartstrings every time you bid a farewell, or when your hand would graze his arm to give a light push in a jest, the tips of his ears flushing an embarrassing point that you didn't fail to notice.
"..then when I came back, you were gone. the rest of the dream was me trying to find you, but you wouldn't answer. so I started crying, like really ugly, and I woke up. it was terrible!" you whined, hands gripping the sides of your head and mingling your hair. you couldn't fathom the idea of your best friend abandoning you, let alone entertain it. he felt his ego stroked, knowing you'd cry over him if he suddenly disappeared. he smirked softly, voice soft. "you're such a crybaby. I'd never leave you like that." his words came out faster than he could process, the tips of hits ears and back of his next burning hot. his eyes couldn't leave yours, causing the blush on his cheeks to flush harder. and for once, you blushed just the same. red, embarrassed, and nervous.
you smiled softly, the quiet noise within the library getting completely shut out, the beating of your heart busting through your ears. with a muster of courage, you pushed yourself forward and placed a chaste peck on the soft mound of his cheek. if he wasn't as red as a tomato before, he definitely was now. he gasped, lips quivering and eyes wide. a hand placed itself on his cheek, as if covering It would leave the short kiss there forever, unable to escape. blue eyes glanced toward to side, sheepishly scooting his chair closer to you.
also thinking about continue my other multi-part series.. but again i have no motivation to write :,) maybe in the future i will. i’d hate to abandon my projects, but writing wears me out sadly
I want to write a megumi pic where you meet him at a party and try your best to get closer with him while being drunk because this happened to me a month ago and I still can't stop thinking about it but I know recalling the memories and writing it will be a PAIN. but who knowssss maybe one day
currently writing this but i’m not sure how motivated i will feel in the future to write this. but since its based on a real experience, it might be easier for me to accomplish! i shall give a sneak peak soon, currently have this in the drafts. will probably be a long post since its about that night and every detail i can remember. MIGHT be a pt.2 to it, since the follow week i went to another party and had another experience with the same person.
in the wake of your scandalous divorce, you fall into the arms of emperor gojo satoru. for a while, you believe you have found love… until it becomes clear that your new husband is scheming behind your back! love, marriage, divorce… are you doomed to go through this path the second time?
genre/warnings:
18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—might be ooc, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, marriage of convenience, explicit smut, pregnancy
note:
loosely inspired by and taking some elements of manhwa remarried empress. this is the second part of remarried empress au trilogy! wc. 9.2k ! thank you so much for your love in the first part🩵 but as of now, TAGLIST IS CLOSED so i'd appreciate it if the comment section won't be flooded with asks for tags :')
credit header goes to @/kakashismain_ in twitter!
prev. all hail the empress | next. long live the empire (soon!)
general masterlist | series masterlist
Heavens, help me... I love her too damn much!
For Gojo Satoru, love was once an abstract concept. At first, he thought it was admiration, or a sense of obsession—
But on the day he watched you become Zen’in Naoya’s bride, Satoru realized it was much deeper than that. It felt like the sharpest sword had pierced straight into him and lodged itself there.
And then, years later— as if hearing his prayers, you became his. Since then, his life was perfect, because he wasn't lying when he said that you were everything he wanted in life.
Yet in a twist of fate, that same sinking, horrific feeling washed over him... as he watched the pagoda he built for you engulfed in flames.
You were there. Satoru felt himself staggering as he took in the mortifying sight. You and his unborn child are inside!
He didn't waste a breath as he dashed towards where you were, crushing everything in his path in the process, but just as he was about to enter the scorching temple—
“Satoru, no!” Suguru grabbed him, restraining him with his own body. “Get back!”
“No!” he screamed at him frantically. “She is there! Suguru, let go—!”
And then the worst happened, as the pagoda completely crumbled into a heap of rubble. Satoru's breath was knocked out of him as he faced the reality that he couldn't save you in time. And he felt like losing his consciousness as he wheezed, and thrashed in Suguru's hold.
It was all too much for him to comprehend as he struggled against the devastation before him.
How... did this happen? You were happy. You were about to welcome a child into your lives! The two of you really were...
SEVERAL WEEKS PRIOR
Your husband is trying to use you to wage a war... against your homeland.
You secluded yourself in your study, trying to make sense what you just overheard.
In a broader perspective, Satoru's actions could be constituted as national defense. If he perceived the Eastern Empire as a threat, then countermeasures were indeed necessary. But if not...
Regardless, it was not the very idea that blew you, but how he planned to use you to sway sentiment in your former country, to weaken them.
Is that what he's been aiming all this time? You felt like a hypocrite to question this since you too were using him. But these days, you were certainly not using him—you were falling in love with him.
It was strange, because you were supposed to be furious if that was his intent from the start. Yet what you felt right now was profound sadness, possibly even denial and heartbreak. You kept thinking how there must be another explanation—
“Sweetheart, hello~!”
You were startled when the door to your study was suddenly flung open, and the man from your thoughts strode in with a broad grin, completely oblivious to your inner turmoil.
"Satoru." You fixed him with a genial smile, even as nausea churned within you. Straightening your skirts, you looked up at him.
"I've been told you haven't been well, and Shoko said you've seen the physician," Satoru frowned, his long fingers cradling your face as he half-sat on your desk. "How did it go? What did he say?"
"Oh..." you clammed up, feeling at loss. "He said..."
Your dashing husband tilted his head curiously, bright eyes softened, worried lines etched on his face were so clear... and despite your conflict, you didn't have the heart to deny him this news.
"I'm with child." This time, your smile was genuine as you pushed back your intrusive thoughts. "Satoru... I'm carrying our child."
For a full ten seconds, Satoru was stunned, staring at you with a blank expression, his lips slightly parted. "H-huh...? Child? A... baby?"
"Mm-hm. A living baby."
"O-oh..." Satoru blinked his eyes rapidly—looking at your face, then your abdomen—before his expression broke into absolute wonder, broadly grinning. "T-that's... oh— it's—!"
To say he was speechless didn't cut it as he stuttered, messed his hair, pinched his own cheek, becoming restless yet looking so incredibly giddy—
"My queen!" Satoru suddenly lifted you and spun you around midair. "My beautiful wife—!" before gently sitting you on the desk and burying his face in your skirts, hugging your waist tightly. "Good lord, I'm— I'm so—!"
It hadn't truly dawned on you until now that you were going to become a mother. Witnessing Satoru's unabashed reaction as he nestled his face into you… nearly brought tears to your eyes.
Right in this moment, you didn't entertain any other thoughts. You were deeply moved by your husband's overwhelming excitement for your baby. And the realization that, despite Naoya's accusations—
Satoru looked up at you the second you sniffled, and he immediately drew you closer, pressing his forehead against yours.
"Hey, no tears, yeah?" He rested a hand on your jaw, his eyes sparkling with utter adoration as he gazed at you. "This is wonderful. We're going to be parents. This child... a part of you and me—we're going to bring them into the world."
You tugged his collar close and brushed your lips against his. And he responded with equal fervor. You yearned for this closeness with him.
. . .
But still in the back of your head, that lingering, buried fear whispered—
Is the man who adores you this much... capable of hurting you to the same extent?
With your bare bodies pressed closely, and you under him, Satoru could sense the rapid beat of your heart. And in return, you felt the heat of his palms against your skin and the tremors in his breath.
Yet now, in your marital bed, it quickly became clear to him that you, who were usually so composed and collected, were nervous. Satoru couldn't suppress the smile spreading across his face even if he tried.
"This is far from our first time, Empress." His coy smirk taunted you as he littered kisses along your jawline and chest. "What are you so jittery about, hmm?"
"Ah..." you let out a soft sigh as he sucked your breast with his mouth. "N-nothing... you're mistaken."
"Hmm... not confessing? Right..." He then grabbed the generous mound of your other breast and fondled it, making you squirm and moan.
But in the midst of this eroticism, suddenly your mind was thrown back to—
“That’s why I have her here.”
"Satoru," you breathed out, catching his hands. He looked up to you in slight surprise, thinking that you wanted to stop.
But he was in for a plot twist when you first pushed him, then flipped him underneath you, straddling him and capturing his lush lips, yanking his hair in the process.
"Whoa— hey..." Satoru held your hips, visibly startled but clearly enjoying your sudden whim, snickering. "My queen—ohh— you're a sight to behold, on top of me."
He grabbed the flesh of your bottom, sinking his fingers into it and pulling you forward. You let yourself be moved until your thighs were next to his ears.
Suddenly, it was, at once, the most peculiar experience—the greatest confidence boost you had ever received, and the hottest thing he had ever seen.
"You're so damn wet already," your husband nipped your inner thigh playfully as he observed your folds, and you gasped. "Are you ready?"
In response, you slammed yourself onto his face because, right now, you were in a less than forgiving mood.
"You look good under me," you darkly retorted, but then you choked on your own breath when your husband started licking your folds messily with his tongue.
Satoru smirked at the sound of your breathless noises, responding by lapping even more fervently. Your fingers tangled in his hair, tightening their grip on his scalp as you began to grind yourself against his face.
"You a-are really n-nasty!" you moaned, voice breaking at the feeling his sinful tongue parting your opening. "Maybe y-you have lied to me… all th-is time."
Satoru furrowed his brows in slight confusion, and perhaps a bit of annoyance, as he pinched your clit in retaliation, causing you to draw in a sharp breath.
"You're— awful!" but contrary to your claims, your face contorted with pleasure as the tight coil in your belly spasmed. "How m-many women... h-have you beguiled like m-me?"
He almost laughed into your ass. Literally. If being called awful was the price for pleasuring the most beautiful woman in the lands, then Satoru would be happy to be that horrible person every day of his life.
But then, you suddenly shifted on top of him, no longer positioning your hips in his face, and he quickly caught your face, crashing his lips against yours so both of you wouldn’t part for even a second.
"Nobody else," he murmured, wet lips and tongue ravishing yours, so much lust glistening in his eyes. "I'm all yours— forever." Just as he whispered it amidst pants, he groaned when your hand sneakily went to his very hard length.
And firmly grasped it. He got swollen just by tasting you and hearing your noises earlier. He growled, and against his senses, he pushed you down to lodge it inside you, penetrating and splitting you apart in one go.
“Ah—! Satoru— it’s too…!” you babbled breathlessly, your nails digging into his shoulders, feeling his huge cock pulsing inside your tight walls.
“Your fault,” he rebuked, eyes narrowing into darker shades, rigorously moving his hips against yours as he sat up. It was impossible to hold it in any longer, he could feel it already.
He tensed up, adjusting his position, so close to losing it inside you, and when he heard your dirty mewls and felt you shudder—reverberating through his body too—Satoru gripped your waist tighter, groaning, holding you in place to release his load inside you with precision.
Your body gave in as well, releasing at the same moment his cum burst inside you. Your vision blurred as the nastiest of moans escaped you, yet you felt so safe as your husband caught you in his arms.
. . .
"Are you okay?" Satoru asked worriedly after you rolled off him in the aftermath of your bliss. "Do you feel sick?" Your unfocused eyes met his, and he looked panicked, pulling you closer. "Shit, did I go too far? I shouldn't have, especially with the baby still in the early stages..."
"I'm... okay," you croaked, trying to reassure him. "Just tired..."
Heaving a relieved sigh, Satoru pecked you in the lips.
"Am I... a mess?" you leaned on him with a blissful smile, feeling his cum still trickling out between your legs.
"Yeah... My beautiful mess, that is." Satoru chuckled, reveling in the state of your disarray. "Soon enough," his hands traced your skin before settling on your tummy, a fond smile curving his lips. "Our baby will grow here."
"Yes—" you replied, placing your palm over his. "Do you... want a boy or girl?"
A boy would be the much sought-after prince, and you fully expected him to favor it, until to your surprise, Satoru lightly hummed and pressed a kiss on your belly button.
"Does that matter? What's important is you deliver them safely and they're healthy," he chuckled. "A princess will be nice... she'll turn out to be as lovely as you."
"But the heir has to be a prince..."
"Nah. I can always amend the succession norms. I'm the emperor."
And you giggled next. Seeing how free you looked, Satoru thought you were the woman overturning his skies and stars, and you truly are—as now you are the mother of his own flesh and blood, his future empire.
There will be a nation-wide celebration for you. Satoru insisted it was a must, and he would invite dignitaries from neighboring empires and kingdoms as well.
Including the Eastern Empire.
. . .
“Your Majesty. I... bring a gift and an invitation from the Western Empire.”
Naoya clacked his heel on the carpet, casting a sharp, yet uninterested look at his aide.
“There will be a celebration for—” the poor man gulped uneasily, faltering as if he could foresee how his emperor would react. Naoya scowled.
“Spit it out.”
“The former empress’ pregnancy, Your Majesty!”
“What...?” At that moment, he snapped his head towards him. It felt like everything he had ever known came crashing down. “Y/N...?”
That can’t be possible. For many years both of you had failed. That was why he took that maid and divorced you. No, upon reflection, it was never truly his intention to divorce you—he had wanted you to raise that child if you couldn't bear one.
But then you completely ignored him and had an affair with Gojo Satoru. He was furious. He couldn't bear the disgrace of it all, so he went with the divorce, if only to assert some control. However, the joke was on him, as you ultimately fled with Gojo entirely.
But if you aren’t infertile... Then, what did that make him?
Numerous thoughts ran through his mind. Was it possible that it was his child instead of Gojo’s? How many months had it been anyway?
...or could it be that he is the one who is—!
“No...” he muttered, frantic, taking sharp breaths. “Absolute rubbish!”
The aide stared at him in fear, as Naoya appeared unhinged now. But soon, that fear gave away to pity, as the emperor trashed his desk and howled in frustration— but contrary to the expected fury, Naoya looked like he was mourning, evident by the way he flung everything but the very portrait from his coronation day.
Of him and you. Even after that disastrous divorce, he had never taken it down from the wall of his study. Now, Naoya was staring at it, a multitude emotions clouding his eyes.
This man, just as the aide had always thought, has thrown away the only good thing he has in his life.
“Are the invitations sent already?” Satoru asked with a blooming smile, rolling the yarn out of his cat’s reach as the poor kitty grappled to catch it. “And how are the preparations going?”
“Banquets are usually handled by the Empress, but you really go out of your way and do it instead,” Suguru shook his head, unamused by the added workload it brought him, especially considering his disinterest in festivities.
“They’re all sent, some of them responded—before you ask, Naoya hasn’t— and I’ve cascaded the preparation to Shoko, since I have no clue what to do about it.”
“Well, not that I care if he’s going to stay sour and wants his name tarnished in the daily papers as a bitter ex-husband…” Satoru shrugged, petting Sugu-chan as the cat purred contentedly. “He is tactless, he very well might be.”
“You really want to spite him, don’t you…” Suguru sighed. “You even sent him a note. It was unnecessary.”
“He was the one hurling curses at me and my empress first. I’m just returning the favor.”
The note in question was of lines after lines of flowery nonsense about gratitude and whatnot. Satoru imagined Naoya's vein would burst after reading his card.
“I’m happy for you, Satoru.” As exasperated as Suguru was, his smile was genuine when he said it. “A royal baby, huh...”
"Suguru." The emperor's voice suddenly dropped an octave, surprising him. "What about the placement of the totem I told you the other day?"
The abrupt shift in conversation made Suguru visibly uncomfortable, and again, they were back to this topic.
"You're seriously going to do this?" the duke asked, almost in disbelief. "Satoru, you're going to become a father. You have everything already. This will lead to war one way or another, and—what if the Empress finds out? How do you think it'll make her feel?"
However, Satoru's gaze was cold as he dismissed most of Suguru's tirade. There was a chill in his expression that made his longtime friend inwardly questioned who the man before him was.
"I'm asking you. Have you done it or not, Suguru?"
"You're going to put a curse on a whole village, Satoru."
"I told Zen'in Naoya the moment I got Y/N, that it would mark the beginning of his downfall. I'm making good on that promise."
Suguru pressed his eyes shut to calm his fury. Morally, what Satoru did was wrong, but politically, this was the art of war. Suguru purely opposed to this out of consideration for you.
Few understood Satoru's actions as well as Suguru did. He might understand, others like you and Shoko wouldn't.
"Just remember, when the Empress catches wind of this, she's going to resent you," Suguru warned. "No matter what your reasoning might be."
Satoru's upper lip curled upwards, his eyes bereft of light, narrowing with indifference.
"Unless you never tell her, that is of no relevance."
Love... has he ever loved you all this time?
Naoya had never been confronted with that question or pondered it, simply because he never considered love existed within the context of something as grand as monarchy.
You were chosen because you were well-bred and well-versed in the arts of nobility. You were indeed the epitome of an ideal empress, a fact evident throughout your tenure.
But...
"Naoya!" you yelled at him and caught his hand. "You're a fool! Why did you keep doing that!?"
It was a long-buried memory, when you were still in your teens, around the time you were just made the crown princess. His hands, bruised and bloodied, and you tended to them.
"I'm not weak, you know," he sullenly barked. "I have to train to be stronger."
"You definitely have to train, yes... but you have to take breaks!" you retorted angrily.
"Why do you care so much anyway?" he snapped back. "It's not like your hands that are injured."
And that moment, you were suddenly almost in tears. Naoya never understood why.
"Don't cry." But his instincts told him to make you not cry. "Don't cry. I'm fine, see?"
. . .
Zen'in Naoya jerked awake from his slumber, realizing he had forgotten what his dream was, that it was still the late afternoon, and he was still in his study.
All he felt was that nostalgic feeling, and it intensified when he glanced up... only to see his coronation portrait on the wall.
It was almost as if you were still here. You were incredibly stunning, he had to admit that. Why hadn’t he realized until just recently?
The way your crimson dress flowed out, and that thin, serene smile on your face... you were a picture-perfect empress, and that was not an exaggeration. No one could measure up to you—
"Your Majesty~!"
Especially not Hanabi.
"Your Majesty, the princess has started holding her head up!" Hanabi, now no longer dressed in rags but rather in one of your dresses, excitedly remarking, "Soon, she will start to—"
Naoya's gaze fell on her dress. He recognized it instantly. That specific deep, vibrant shade of red with serpent-like waistband. It was one of his gifts to you for your birthday. "Why are you wearing that?"
"Huh?" she seems perplexed. "Oh this... I thought it looks pretty..."
But to her surprise, he suddenly flared with fury. "That isn't yours, you dullard," he spat out.
Her expression sank in heartbreak as he continued with his venomous speech. "Know your place." His words cut like a blade. "And I keep telling you, a princess is of no use to the throne!"
Hanabi fought to hold back the tears, because not only had he insulted her, worse still, he showed no interest in their daughter. "She is still of your blood, Your Majesty," she replied, her voice trembling.
"I told you, I only want a heir." His sneer caused her eyes to widen in shock. "Other than that, I won't care."
"Your Majesty, please—" Hanabi was desperate for him to acknowledge their daughter, when she caught sight of your ethereal face on the wall.
He still hasn't taken it down. It made her eyes twitch, and her own anger to rise.
"The former empress..." she stared at your picture resentfully. "You still have her here. We never even have our portraits painted..."
Naoya's icy gaze leveled at her without a hint of sympathy, despite the woman standing before him being the mother of his child.
"Why do you look at me like that?" Hanabi asked, tears spilling from her eyes. "You used to care for me when you thought I would bear you a son. Even if it's a daughter, she deserves love too, doesn't she?"
In the last five years, she had come to know that the emperor wasn't always this manic person. He used to be gentler, or at least not as vindictive.
And she never truly wanted you to be cast away like that. She looked up to you, admired you from up close, and meant it when she said she would carry your legacy as best as she could.
"Are you dumb?" Naoya barked. "I told you to know your place!"
...yet why? Why are people in this palace so harsh to her?
“I wish you luck on that, Hanabi. Beware, the emperor is fickle…”
Your unkind eyes, Naoya's disdainful stares even after she gave birth to his child... She didn't even care about becoming the empress anymore. She just wanted a happy life!
"If it was the former empress' child... even if it was a princess..." Hanabi turned to him with determination even amidst her pitiful tears. "You wouldn't cast her aside just like you do now with my daughter, would you, Your Majesty?"
Naoya's gaze, devoid of emotion and filled with blatant disinterest more than anything, shot through her, hurting her more than if it was filled with fury instead.
The lack of warmth in his stare made her feel like being looked through rather than being seen. As if she is that insignificant.
"Leave," he ordered coldly next, turning his back on her.
And there is her answer.
Hanabi had been your maid for five long years. She knew who you were, what you stood for, and your whole demeanor. Yet, despite her best efforts, she could never emulate you in the same way, could she?
. . .
"My lady... don't you know that the former empress is with child?"
Once again, Hanabi felt the sting of ice when her lady-in-waiting delivered the news.
"Empress... Y/N?" she whispered. "How...?"
You were stripped of your titles here, and yet you still remained a queen somewhere else. Hanabi might have won Naoya's favor, but now she was losing it while you had another emperor's affection.
Not much had changed about you. You still occupied the highest seat a woman could possibly attain. Whereas she...
"But she is barren!" she turned to her confidant then, almost in disbelief.
"Evidently not. Emperor Gojo has proven that."
How nice. A part of Hanabi wanted to congratulate you because she knew of your sufferings—how much you longed to hold a baby from your womb in your arms.
How unfair... But another part of her couldn't help but despise you. Because even in your absence, she still had to live in your shadow. Because you, who had lost everything, regained it all so easily.
"And my lady... Emperor Gojo is going to throw a banquet for this occasion next month. You are expected to attend it."
"Sweetheart, you asleep?"
One night, several weeks later, just as you were about to drift off to sleep, you felt the sheets shift as Satoru slipped into bed beside you.
Though you didn't turn to face him, you felt his warm hands wrap around your waist from behind.
"Satoru... you're back," you murmured sleepily.
"Mm-hmm," he whispered, pulling you closer to his chest and burying his face in your hair, taking in your scent. "Shoko told me you've been in your bedchamber since breakfast. Are you okay?"
"I get queasy if I walk too much, so I've been lying down all day... But don't worry, the physician said it's normal in early stages of pregnancy."
His grip on you tightened, as he caressed your belly. "Hmm, naughty baby. I'm sorry I wasn't here..."
"Where were you?"
For days now, he had been away, and you hadn't really questioned him. You had your guesses though—
"I was overseeing the construction of a new pagoda," he said softly, kissing your neck. "For you, actually."
That was so unexpected that it made you open your eyes fully. "What— for me?" Building pagoda was definitely not a small affair. Usually it was for religious purposes.
"It's a gift to the heavens for blessing me with you and our baby. It's expected to be completed before your celebration banquet."
The tower would be the testament of his love for you and your unborn child. Despite yourself, your heart swelled with overwhelming warmth.
"You're so silly... why do you spend the tax funds for that?" you brushed off the faint heat in your face, not daring to look at him still.
"Whatever I wouldn't do for you?" he cheekily retorted, chuckling.
You had never felt this cherished before, and this time you were certain—you were more than ready to fall in love with this man.
But he... is planning to use you, isn't he?
"Satoru." You shuffled to turn and face him, causing him to crack his lidded eyes open. You gazed at him, placing both of your hands on his face, caressing his face softly.
You're so kind to me. I appreciate you for that. You wanted to tell him various things, but the darkness in your heart ever since overhearing his exchange with Suguru made it hard for you to do so.
"Mm? What is it?" he drawled with a small smile, leaning into your touch.
“You... love me, don't you?”
His bright eyes found yours then, sharp and steady. An impossibly fond smile graced his lips, as if finding what you said the most natural thing there was.
“Throughout heaven and earth,” he proclaimed, his voice steady to match his eyes. “Yes, my queen.”
...then you would trust him, if only just for this moment. The genuine sincerity in his eyes, the raw authenticity in his words... it all felt too real.
And so, even when you were well-aware of the bitter possibility of truth, you leaned in and kissed him, giving yourself to his touch as his hand slipped inside you.
And soon, came the day of the lavish banquet solely held to celebrate your pregnancy.
You were seated on your throne, dressed in a stunning aquamarine gown. The skirt of the dress was full and flowing, spilling onto the floor in a waterfall of shimmering fabric. Upon your head perched your crown of diamonds, glinting beneath the light, and your ceremonial veil to make you look as queenly as you could possibly be.
Everyone would agree that you were a sight to behold, and that you were worthy of every praise possible.
"Many congratulations to you, Your Majesty."
"This is a splendid news! A royal baby!"
"To think that the emperor has settled down... sniff, how long have we been waiting for this...? We almost gave up."
You almost giggled at the way Archbishop Yaga wiped his tears with a handkerchief as he presented you with his gift.
Despite your initial reservations, you enjoyed the festivities more than you expected. You had opposed the idea at first, finding it quite unnecessary, but Satoru had pouted for three long days until you eventually relented to appease him.
Speaking of him, he was equally dressed to impress, looking every bit as an emperor he was in an exquisite aquamarine military uniform and robes. Despite engaging in conversation with Earl Nanami, he kept a watchful eye on you, stealing glances in your direction to ensure you were well.
You nodded at him, and he threw you a wink. You smiled.
Everything was truly going well... until the herald announced:
"Prince Megumi and Royal Consort Hanabi from Eastern Empire!"
There was suddenly a hush over the crowd as the two made their entrance. You stilled, looking at the figure responsible for your checkered life—
Hanabi was starkly different since the last you saw her at the courthouse during your divorce. Her dress was now a vibrant shade of burgundy red, reminiscent of a gown you once wore. Gone was her air of humility, replaced by a display of extravagance befitting a noblewoman.
She is no longer your maid, but Naoya's consort. There was no trace of the woman who once served you. You were actually impressed, as she could actually shape herself into the image of a royal consort.
"Empress." However, your attention quickly shifted to Naoya's nephew, and once also your ward, Megumi, as he bowed before you respectfully. "Congratulations."
A fond smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you regarded the young prince who had once been a very shy individual. It reminded you of the days spent with him just to get him out of his shell.
"Thank you, Megumi."
"Diamonds suit you far better than golds do. I wish only for the best for you, Your Majesty."
It warmed your heart, really. Using that reference to your gold crown from your time in the Eastern Empire, you could see how much Megumi truly understood your position and bore no resentment towards you.
Could the same be said for Naoya though?
Right after you received his gift—an ornate box that seemed oddly familiar to you—Hanabi suddenly blurted out:
"So, fate has smiled upon you. Congratulations Empress Y/N." She kept that soft, meaningful smile on her face as she offered her felicitations.
Ever since her arrival was announced, something about her demeanor had bothered you. There was a subtle emptiness that seemed to linger in her gaze.
"Thank you," you responded, and that was when you noticed it. There was never any celebration for the birth of her daughter and Naoya, only a passing announcement.
And so, you added. "Congratulations on the birth of the princess too."
You could have sworn her expression fell for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure and bowed her head to you.
For a while, you lost sight of her in the crowd, feeling quite comfortable in your dais. Soon after, Satoru returned to your side, and the herald announced:
"Attention! His Majesty the Emperor's gift for Her Majesty the Empress!"
You looked at Satoru questioningly, and he gave you a dashing smirk before turning to the crowd.
"Thank you, all of you, for joining us to celebrate this joyous occasion." The way he carried himself and the sheer confidence he exuded was mesmerizing, you couldn't deny how it made you swoon. "I've been infamous for many things, and I'm sure the tales have spread far and wide. So please, allow me one more gesture with you as the witnesses."
The crowd giggled at his words, and you finally spotted Hanabi among them, quietly assessing the scene.
Your husband turned to you, a soft smile on his face.
"This is for you my empress— my lovely queen. Words can't describe how elated I am to know that now you bear our child." He took your hand and pressed a kiss on it. "And it's only fitting that I praise you along with the skies and the stars."
A footman arrived and presented a pearly box. Satoru opened it, revealing a necklace inside. The centerpiece was a large, flawless diamond surrounded by smaller, perfectly cut stones of the same kind. No matter how you saw it, it was truly a work of art, meant to captivate and dazzle anyone who laid eyes on it.
You let out a gasp. "This..."
Satoru grinned, picking up the jewelry and preparing to place it on you. "Nothing much. Just a little trinket for you."
"This is not just a 'little trinket'!"
Your banter elicited another round of snickers from the audience as Satoru fastened the necklace around your neck. The moment he did, the crowd erupted into applause.
"Actually, my real gift is the new pagoda in the royal gardens, built in honor of the Empress," Satoru stated effortlessly, grinning unabashedly. "Feel free to stop by later, everyone."
To the ton, for him to gift you with something so sacred was the height of extravagance. Some of them wondered how you had managed to turn the elusive emperor into someone so devoted to you.
And a few... might be harboring ill will against you for it.
. . .
Later that night, you were sorting through the gifts you had received throughout the day.
"I don't understand, why would you give an expecting woman this?" Shoko picked apart a manuscript that was the gift from Archbishop Yaga. "Who would read this?"
"I wouldn't, but I'm sure Duke Geto would," you replied, and soon the two of you were giggling together.
From jewelry to ornaments, you were pleased with all the gifts presented by the guests from day one. While most were given out of formality, it was heartwarming to imagine your baby seeing all these someday.
Your attention soon turned to the box Megumi handed you earlier—Naoya's gift.
You were intrigued, because what could your spiteful ex-husband could possibly give you? And you immediately reached over to open the lid to find...
"What's that?" Shoko asked as your eyes widened in slight surprise.
Inside the box was an intricate gold and ruby necklace. One you knew well. The very one you wore during your coronation as the Empress of the Eastern Empire.
Years ago, Naoya himself had chosen this piece for you, and now he was gifting it to you, again?
“From now on, it’s going to be me and you, Empress.”
Reliving years of your marriage with him wasn't easy. You two were childhood sweethearts, and had been happy in the beginning. You couldn't pinpoint when things began to fall apart, but suddenly Naoya turned into such a person you didn't recognize altogether.
Seeing this relic made you nostalgic, and before you realized it, you touched it, trying to get a better look—
"Ah—!"
Suddenly, a sharp, unexpected pain shot through your abdomen. You instantly dropped the jewelry, letting it crash to the ground, and clutched your lower belly.
"Empress! What happened?!" Shoko rushed to your side in an instant, holding you up, and you whimpered.
"It hurts—!" Your breath hitched, as a seemingly invisible knife gutted you from inside. The intensity of the pain was overwhelming, leaving you gasping for breath. "Shoko, please—"
And before you could even scream or think, the pain blindsided you and your vision titled, before blacking out completely.
First came the warmth, then a reassuring squeeze on your hand. As your consciousness returned, you felt groggy, with your surroundings sharpening into focus.
The first thing that became your main focus the moment your eyes fluttered open was Satoru's face, a mixture of fright and relief etched across his features.
"You're awake..." He breathlessly muttered, sitting on your bedside, interlacing his fingers with yours. "How do you feel?"
"Sa...toru..." your voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper, and as soon as he heard you speak, he exhaled sharply, pulling you into a tight embrace.
"Heavens, I—" he let out a long sigh, his breath hot against your neck. "I'm so glad... you are..."
"What h-happened to me...?" you were feeling feverish and a dull throb was pounding at the back of your head, before the shock of it all dawned on you. "B-baby...! Our—!"
"Baby is okay too, don't worry," Satoru assured, pulling away from you to gently touch your cheek and squeeze your hand. "Both of you are fine for now..."
The horror that you might lose your baby shook you to the very core. Your vision blurred with the threatening onset of tears.
"Wh-at happened to me, Satoru...?" you asked again as he wiped your first falling tears, your heartbeat sounding so loud in your ears. "I-I was just..."
His expression took on a sudden shift, as if a dark cloud had passed over his face.
"You came into contact with a cursed object," he stated, his eyes hard as he locked onto yours. "You were cursed, Y/N."
"What...?" You were rendered speechless, feeling your body starting to shake. Cursed object? Your past coronation necklace?
Naoya was trying to curse you?
"It's okay, I'm here now, yeah?" Satoru's voice broke through your spiraling thoughts, grounding you in the present. "Look at me. Hey, look at me." he repeated, his deep blue eyes locking onto yours with intensity.
“I’m here. I’m here with you. Nothing—absolutely nothing—will touch you so long as I’m here.”
But in that moment, your mind was so overwhelmed with fear for yourself and your unborn baby that you couldn't fully grasp the magnitude of the mess unfolding before you, and you just cried in his arms.
Feeling your feeble fingers fisting his robes and your inconsolable tears staining his collar, Satoru gritted his teeth.
“This won't happen again,” he whispered into your hair, feeling his rage simmering as he felt the tremors of your sobs against his chest. “I swear, I won't let anything like this happen again.”
To Satoru, that was more than enough to justify all his subsequent actions. Putting a curse on his empress essentially amounted to an act of beginning a war.
And it also meant he no longer had to operate behind the scenes.
“Keep them in Clock Tower. No contact. Only food and water at designated times.”
Satoru's icy gaze on the captain of royal guard compelled him to hastily comply with the order, before his eyes landing on the map of the entire continent.
In response to the incident that befell you, he issued orders for open hostility along the eastern and western borders. Soon after, he would formally declare his intention to go to war.
So close. He was so close to achieving his end goal.
. . .
"Satoru!"
Several days later, Suguru burst into his study, visibly outraged. He clenched his fists, looking as if he was about to throttle him altogether.
"You—" he heaved a harsh breath. "You have gone too far!"
"What are you talking about, Suguru?"
"Is cursing the entire winery village not enough for you?" This was the first time Suguru had been this furious with him. "Did you really have to massacre the neighboring district as well?!"
"They have placed a curse on my empress." It was so easy for him to say it. "Anyone who dares to harm her shall die."
"You can direct it at Zen'in Naoya! Not the innocent civilians!"
Satoru remained silent, neither shaken nor enraged, and he had finally had enough.
“Are you even sure it’s because the empress is cursed?" Suguru challenged. In his view, this farce had been going on too long.
“No, Satoru. You are just using her. For so long, you have wanted to bring bloodshed to Western Empire. You were almost there when Empress Y/N proposed that deal to marry you.”
You were informed, days later.
“His Majesty has placed the prince and royal consort of the Western Empire under strict watch in Clock Tower.”
Clock Tower was essentially the prison where they kept war criminals. Learning that Satoru had confined both Megumi and Hanabi there left you aghast.
After some days of bedrest and getting better, you realized that the entire situation still didn't make sense to you. As hateful as Naoya was, harming you would do him more harm than good. Eastern and Western Empires stood evenly matched in military power, and hence, a conflict between them would bring devastation to both sides.
And moreover, you knew for sure was that Megumi was definitely not the one responsible for this. He was just a boy!
You had to let him out somehow. You had to talk to Satoru about this.
Or at least that was what you thought when you came close to his study.
“Are you even sure it's because the empress is cursed? No, Satoru. You are just using her. For so long, you have wanted to bring bloodshed to Western Empire. You were almost there when Empress Y/N proposed that deal to marry you.”
You stopped on your tracks—stunned into place, to be exact.
“And you’ve struck gold when she did because her influence will provide you with greater advantage.” Suguru scoffed then, lightly shaking his head with a sneer. “Love? How laughable. All these years, you are planning your warpath, how could you claim you love her when you're trying to ravage her homeland without even considering the impact it would have on her?”
It felt like whiplash. Geto Suguru's voice had your feet rooted to the spot, causing all your doubts to resurface and sizzle in an instant. The very question you had tried to avoid, it was suddenly shoved in your face.
What... will Satoru say? Your heart thumped so loud in your ears it made you almost stagger. He couldn't possibly. He simply couldn't. All his actions... they reflected his affection for you and you believed it because you felt it yourself too.
But Satoru's next response was—
“Even when she is derided as the devil, I will bring an end to the Zen’in line in this lifetime.”
And a part of your heart withers then.
The tips of your fingers trembled, finally taking in everything that you had tried to ignore for the past few weeks. It all caught up to you in one overwhelming rush.
Suddenly, it felt as if something inside your chest was torn out and held up for you to see.
"I'm telling you, that day will come sooner than you think, Satoru." Suguru's voice broke through, his frustration palpable. His words snapped you out of your reverie, and you took a step back, retreating to the safety of your study.
The first time you felt utter hollowness wrecking you was when you had suspected that Naoya might have taken Hanabi to his bed. The feelings overwhelming you now were eerily similar to how you felt back then.
Only in this case…
You had used him first, and if he used you in return... you couldn't fault him.
But isn't it still a bitter truth, even when a mutual transaction is very well within his rights, to know that what you believe as love may apparently not really be the case?
Love... of course, he loves you.
Of that, he was certain.
But at the same time… he had his ambitions.
Destroying the Eastern Empire. Was it so wrong that he wanted it? Didn't you want this as well? After all, Naoya had spurned you for a lowly servant and made your life hell, didn’t he?
Satoru strolled through the halls and made his way to your study, where the sight of you, so pretty and regal in your seat, greeted him.
His beautiful, graceful wife and empress of his nation. For so long, he had desired you, and now here you were, perched within his walls. His heart couldn't be more full— his life is complete already.
"Sweetheart, hey... how are you feeling today?" an adoring grin was visible on his face as he approached you. "Does the baby give you trouble today?"
You didn't answer though, and didn't look at him either. It was quite strange, Satoru thought.
"What's wrong? Is there something—" And when you finally turned to him, the look in your eyes was so eerily cold it almost gave him a chill.
"Release Megumi from your dungeon," you told him with a strained tone. "And return him to his home empire."
The smile on Satoru's face vanished that instant.
"I can't do that."
You rose from your seat, facing him. "He is just a child."
Satoru regarded you with a stern look. “That child you speak about is a prince of the Eastern Empire. He has committed a great crime against you.”
“Naoya didn’t do it.” Your steely gaze was unflinching. “He might be senseless, but he isn’t insane enough to deliberately go into a war he might possibly lose.”
Satoru's eyes darkened at your words, as you stood before him with determination. The way you were so adamant somehow took him aback. “How... could you defend him? He has wronged you!”
It was one question you had expected, and you had the answer ready.
“Even if he has, I could never wish doom upon my own homeland, Satoru. I’ve lived most of my life there, I did a great deal of things there— even if you harbor some sort of misguided contempt or just bloodthirsty enough to lay ruin to Eastern Empire, I refuse to be the puppet for your schemes!”
There it was. You had said it. Everything would crumble once again just like your previous marriage.
Satoru was staring at you in slight disbelief, his eyes gleamed with something that you couldn't really pinpoint. Anger? Disappointment?
“Your life was in danger, as was our unborn child’s. Don’t you care about that—!” he actually had to stop to catch his breath. “Don’t you care that our child nearly didn't make it?”
“And? You must have thought it was the perfect grounds for declaring a war?” but you didn’t relent and questioned him with a scoff. “And afterwards, you would try to use me to gain defectors from Eastern Empire, is that it?”
You saw the flash of surprise in your now-husband's eyes right when you recited his words, but you weren't about to hold back any longer now.
“Now you’re using my safety to justify your actions,” you hissed, feeling like suddenly you understood what all of this was. “You’re quite cunning, Satoru. I’ve heard everything—you will do anything to bring an end to the Zen'in lineage! You won’t even consider the repercussions of my reputation being tarnished across the lands!”
“Is that even important now?” Satoru gritted his teeth to suppress his irritation. “You have been cursed. Do you honestly think I would let them get away with cursing my empress? How could I, who seek to protect you, be more vicious than whoever in Eastern Empire who cursed you with that necklace?”
“You’re doing this for your personal gratification!” you exclaimed. “It is never about me. You’re just a warmonger!”
The moment those words left your lips, Satoru stilled. His gaze on you faltered, and you could’ve sworn hurt flashed in his face.
“Just how low… is your opinion of me?” he asked, his tone dropping, eyes devoid of emotion. “You jump into conclusions only after overhearing something in a passing and yet you know for sure Naoya wouldn’t harm you—” he clenched his jaw.
“You… really loved him, don’t you?” he asked with a sardonic smile. “I know it already. You won’t ever be able to do the same for me. You can’t even trust me.”
You were rendered speechless. Despite your doubts of him, hearing this still felt like a slap in your face.
Won’t be able to do the same for him? No. That’s not true. You were—
Satoru let out a defeated laugh and ran his hand through his hair, leaving you uncertain whether he was amused or heartbroken by your lack of response.
“It’s funny, how I have loved you for so long... but apparently the woman I believed to have even a semblance of affection for me doesn’t even exist.”
It felt like that one part of you that was capable of feeling love had been stabbed once again.
To say this out loud hurt you deeply, unbeknownst to him. You didn’t mean this at all, still it was what came out of you—
“In the end, we’re just using each other. That’s all we are to each other.”
Satoru bitterly snorted, finding your accusation so unfair to him.
“How cruel is it that I’m the only one who has to prove this love to you? What about you? You’re terribly, horribly selfish!”
You stayed silent, looking away, caught between the scorching knives that seemed to twist your heart and conflicting emotions in it, uncertain of what to believe anymore. And you didn't really know what heartbreak was like before—
“It has been really exhausting, and I don’t want to bother anymore.”
When his gaze next met yours, dark and piercing, you realized he was no longer the same man who once promised you love and devotion.
“You're free to believe whatever truth you wish. But remember, even if you are my wife and the empress of this nation, should you commit any transgressions… I won’t hesitate to accuse you of treason, Empress.”
You have committed treason.
Satoru had conducted investigation of the sorts just to prove his point. And yet days later, no direct evidence pointing towards Megumi or Hanabi were found in that cursed necklace.
Punishment for treason is imminent death. You were well-aware of that more than anyone, but your consciousness wouldn't allow it if Megumi had to be hanged due to Satoru's antagonism.
"Your Majesty, your kindness knows no bounds," Megumi said, dropping to one knee before you and lowering his head in the throne room. Satoru had chosen not to grace any of you with his presence, leaving you alone to bid farewell to both Megumi and Hanabi.
Since then, you hadn't spoken with him, nor had he visited your chambers. It was as if he considered you nonexistent at all.
And it is really only a matter of time before he finds out.
But at the very least, you were right. It was never Megumi. That boy was fond of you, he could never. So, you shifted your gaze on the woman next to him.
"Royal Consort Hanabi. A word."
It was the cue for everyone else to exit the throne room. Now, you were faced with this woman once again, and yet one thing remained the same— you were still towering over her.
"Why did you do it?" Your calm gaze betrayed a quiet anger that was unmistakably clear. All because of this woman. It was beyond you, how despite having left your past life behind, she had somehow managed to taint your new one as well.
Hanabi looked away, a hint of shame coloring her features. "Your Majesty knows, so why do you spare me?" she asked quietly.
"How preposterous of you to think that I have spared you," you scoffed. "All this time, have you learned nothing at all from standing by Naoya's side?"
She flinched, visibly making herself smaller at your unforgiving tone, still, she dared herself to meet your eyes.
"Can I ask... why you never consider it as Emperor Naoya's doing?" she seemed more confused more than anything, even as her lips wobbled. "The two of you... you don't really hate each other, so why...?"
You didn't want to dwell on why Naoya had chosen that specific piece of jewelry to return to you. If anything, you'd consider it his final parting gift and be done with it.
But the naivety of this woman was astounding. Someone like her wouldn't last long in your seat. You let out a sigh, torn between feeling sorry for her or not.
"You have much to learn about court affairs, Hanabi. And do not think this is an act of mercy. Sending you back to Naoya is a punishment in itself—you know that by now."
Hanabi trembled where she stood, her breaths were shallow, and her hands shook slightly as she struggled to maintain composure in your presence.
Realizing it was futile to continue the conversation, you decided to conclude it.
"Know that I will never forgive you for what you have done to me." Your sharp eyes squared on her, the cold ire in your tone making her shudder.
In all the years Hanabi had known you, you had never appeared more fearsome than you did now, adorned in silks of deep blue hues, with that crown of diamonds gleaming in your head.
Then, as if sealing her fate, you delivered these parting words:
"You've always coveted what I have, and sooner or later, that will be your downfall."
The palace felt suffocating for you. After sending Hanabi away, you took a walk in the gardens, followed closely by your ladies-in-waiting.
Good heavens, what have you done? You definitely didn't regret saving Megumi, but no matter how, you had committed a great crime against your own empire. A sentence would loom over your head!
And what about your baby? Would Satoru execute you while you still had his child inside you?
The very thought made your vision tilt, and you had to lean on the wall for support. Your ladies-in-waiting were immediately clamoring against each other.
"Leave," you commanded, trying to catch your breath while doing so. "I'll… take some time to rest here."
It took you a moment to realize you had reached the pagoda that Satoru had commissioned for you. This was your first time visiting it. The structure was magnificent, towering in height and adorned with exquisite decorations, leaving you in awe.
"It's a gift to the heavens for blessing me with you and our baby."
You wanted to cry. His voice, soft and smooth, conveyed those words so easily to you. He really loved you, didn't he? What made you so unsure about that undeniable fact?
And now you had broken his heart.
Your hand reached for your belly. Though hidden by your dress, you could distinctly feel that it had become firmer these days, holding the product of your love with Satoru.
"I'm sorry, baby..." you whispered, heartbroken. "I didn't mean to drag you into this too..."
You felt nauseous, your breaths come in short pants, and you felt a headache coming. It didn't really register to you that you had crashed into the candle table, before you collected yourself and ventured deeper inside.
You just wanted a sense of peace and quiet. You would think more later, and right now, the darkness inside felt like a comforting lull for you to rest.
. . .
Or at least that was what you had intended, until you looked back and saw the swirling inferno creeping through the halls.
It didn't take long for Satoru to figure out you had really orchestrated Megumi's release.
More than his wounded pride, it was the searing pain of realizing that you truly believed he was only using you for his own benefit. It felt like an insult to everything he had done for you.
Why couldn't you see that? Just how hard is it for you to understand?
And now that it had come to this... what did you expect from him? Should he really make good on his word and punish you? It tore his heart to even consider it.
However, what was worse was… did you think he was really capable of that too?
Amidst his heartache, suddenly he heard loud commotion from outside his study, yells and cries of help— and it roused him from his thoughts that he came out of his study, only to come right into a familiar face.
"Anyone! Anyone at all!" one of your maids was running, sobbing and hysterical. "Her Majesty! Please help Her Majesty!"
"What is all of this ruckus?" Satoru demanded, catching the maid by the hand, as she stuttered in tears.
And then, everything came crashing down with the next words.
"The Empress— is trapped inside the burning tower!"
I want to write a megumi pic where you meet him at a party and try your best to get closer with him while being drunk because this happened to me a month ago and I still can't stop thinking about it but I know recalling the memories and writing it will be a PAIN. but who knowssss maybe one day
𐙚 synopsis: after losing consciousness in a villain attack, you wake up 2 and a half years later in the hospital. the time doesn't feel long to you, so adjusting to the new updates takes you by surprise. like your boyfriend of 2 years, izuku midoriya, apologizing that he found love elsewhere, in your best friend ochaco uraraka. you find refuge and comfort in your old friend todoroki, who visited you everyday you were out. does new love blossom or do you fight for midoriya back?
𐙚 pairing:midoriya x afab!reader x todoroki
𐙚 warnings: mild violence, cursing, cheating?, love triangle-ish, angst to fluff, slow burn, friends to lovers, depression, nonchalant reader but over thinker, reader struggles expressing emotions, characters are 22.
𐙚 readers quirk: poison arrow. can appear a bow and produce arrows that are ingested with poison that can temporarily paralyze or slow down the movement of who was shot. effects lasts roughly 20 minutes but depending on the victim, possible to move but will be slowed down. quirk allows the reader to have sharp sight, and can see farther and more clearer than most. reader has to train to shoot arrows more accurately. strength of poison depends on readers emotions. hero name: artemis.
𐙚 synopsis: after losing consciousness in a villain attack, you wake up 2 and a half years later in the hospital. the time doesn't feel long to you, so adjusting to the new updates takes you by surprise. like your boyfriend of 2 years, izuku midoriya, apologizing that he found love elsewhere, in your best friend ochaco uraraka. you find refuge and comfort in your old friend todoroki, who visited you everyday you were out. does new love blossom or do you fight for midoriya back?
𐙚 pairing: midoriya x afab!reader x todoroki
𐙚 warnings:: mild violence, cursing, cheating?, love triangle-ish, angst to fluff, slow burn, friends to lovers, depression, nonchalant reader but over thinker, reader struggles expressing emotions, characters are 22
𐙚 readers quirk: poison arrow. can appear a bow and produce arrows that are ingested with poison that can temporarily paralyze or slow down the movement of who was shot. effects lasts roughly 20 minutes but depending on the victim, possible to move but will be slowed down. quirk allows the reader to have sharp sight, and can see farther and more clearer than most. reader has to train to shoot arrows more accurately. strength of poison depends on readers emotions. hero name: artemis.
𐙚 a/n: slow writer </3 SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT im such a slow and unmotivated writer but thanks for being patient and im sorry if this sucks or is short! also went ahead and added to the tags, included people who were interested in the second part! 3.03k words! [previous] [next]
┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° m.list ! ┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° mha m.list ! ┊ love again
you left the hospital in daze, bitterly rethinking of the harsh words from midoriya, reliving the uncharacteristic look in ochaco’s eyes. the thing that bugged you the most is the raw emotion in his viridescent irises, the way his eyes told you so much but was trapped. like he was under control. and it pained you, because you knew he wouldn’t be with ochaco if he didnt love her. he must be confused. you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but every time you tried reasoning with yourself you became pressed and bothered, eyebrows bunching together in discomfort. it was his choice to leave, his choice to move on, his choice not to wait. that underlying fact should’ve been enough for you to ration, but your heart weighed over your reasonability.
you walked aimlessly, taking in the change of scenery. it was winter now, or at least the cusp, as trees bare nakedly from the ground, the wind blowing coldly across the tip of your nose. it grew a hue of pink as well as your ears, and you silently cursed the hospital for allowing you to walk off without warmer clothes — or even a blanket. you took in the newer buildings that were placed around, or the updated shops that took over some hole-in-wall restaurants. it felt so familiar to you, holding a sense of nostalgia, even if it wasn’t all that long ago.
your feet carried you a long way, sniffling ever so slightly as the run of your nose. you glanced up at the penthouse in front of you, neck craning to eye up the several stories it compiled. you heart pinged, migraine oncoming. this place felt familiar, and it was almost at the tip of your tongue, but i felt like your body knew where to take you. knew where you’d find comfort. knew where you’d feel safe. grudgingly you stepped forward into the building, hair blowing in several directions at the different air pressures. only then did the penthouse look familiar, the lobby remaining the same as it did years ago when todoroki first moved in, asking you for help with some boxes and casual hang outs. you dragged your feet to the lobby, allowing your body and faint memory to recollect the door your friend lived behind. a funny number to you, something so easily remembered. 808. eighth floor, eighth room. you remember always commenting how the numbers looked like a silly face, a face that could be used as an emoticon during texting.
you tried your best not to stand out, sinking your head lower and sliding your hands in your pockets, slipping into an elevator, though thankfully it was empty. the numbers glowed softly, changing as it passed each floor with a soft ‘ding’. you rocked on the balls of your heels, roughed up black and white converse your parents had left you fit snugly with a double knotted tie. your eyes watched the numbers, slowly growing anxious. you haven’t seen todoroki in — for him — two and a half years. the last time you remember seeing him before the hospital was moving into this penthouse, carrying boxes with yaoyaorozu. oh yeah, you remembered, nodding to yourself, he was dating yaoyaorozu last time i was here. the elevator dinged softly, the speaker muffling a short announcement as the doors shifted open. your feet stepped onto the hardwood floor, turning a hard right and letting your feet carry you to his room, large ceilings aligned with marvelous paintings and chandeliers. you remember gawking at it when you first visited his place too, hopelessly praying you were able to achieve a living space like this too.
you didn’t even know if he was home or not. if he had work, or was on an errand run. you didnt think about much, just knowing you wanted the comfort of your friend, wanting to let him know you were awake finally with your own words. a gentle knock hit the wooden door, eyes glancing down to the doormat with a faded ‘welcome’ message on it, some stains of red pressed on the corners. it was quiet, no noise or rustle, no television or mumbling. maybe he wasnt home. your teeth nibbled at the bottom plump of your lips, the nervous feeling growing increasingly worse. maybe i should leave? you sighed and spun around, lowering your head as you walked off, hands back into your pockets. you made it about halfway down the hallway before the soft sound of the door unlocking filled the air, the gentle pull from the door with a quiet squeak. you froze, not knowing if you should turn around or keep going. but the familiar voice rang in your ears so softly, and you knew exactly why your body aimless took you here in the first place.
“excuse me? what that you knocking?” you can gear the tired croak in his voice fighting back a yawn, “did you need anything?” your body turned slowly, feet picking up as you walked towards him excitedly, that nervous feeling from earlier gone. his eyes met yours, the bi-colored orbs widening with shock, lips parting ever so slightly. for him, time had completely stopped. in fact, todoroki could’ve sworn he was still asleep, replaying a dream he had often of being able to see you again. seeing the radiance that covered your face, the way your arms were outstretched in a hug. but it felt so real he swore if he woke up, the whole world might as well burn.
your body collides with his, pushing him back a few steps before his head catches rest on top of your shoulder, perfectly fit in the crane of your neck. his arms held you tightly at the waist, your own arms circling around his shoulders and neck, sniffles and pants reaching his ears. he was shocked, obviously, but stayed in the hug, not daring to move an inch. the familiar hospital spent fills his nostrils with a weird ease, his hands softly rubbing the small of your back as you sobbed. he knew now this wasn’t a dream, far too real to be. and as happy and relieved he is to see you, he cant help the worried pain he feels as the shirt on his shoulder grows more and more wet, your chest heavily heaving as you hugged him and sobbed.
after giving you the time to recuperate, he invited you inside his home, bending down softly to help you unlace your worn out converse, a hand holding leverage on your shin as the other tugged gently at the shoe. you stood there, surprisingly unfazed, using your forearm to wipe any tears from your eyes while your flushed nose sniffled here and there. with your pearly white socks now stepping onto the soft carpet of his home, a cold hand tugs your wrist to lead you to his grey couch, expectant eyes finding your face.
he had so many questions to ask, so many things that filled his brain on what to say and what he wanted you to know, but he just stared. he let you take your time. let you breathe. the sincerity of his entirety made your eyes water once more, chest puffing out whiney sobs while you laid ur head on his shoulder, a hand holding onto his forearm. it was such a domestic hold, so natural between the two. though your cries were too important for him to worry about anything else at the moment.
you gulped inaudibly, taking a small breath. you began to slowly tell him everything. the moment you woke up, seeing your parents show physical signs of aging, midoriya rushing in, the stupid look in his green eyes, uraraka expecting you to give her your blessing, and finally not even being able to remember the fight you were involved with in the first place. time did not feel long to you, which is why its even harder to understand how much things have changed.
the entirety of the situation felt completely unfair.
shoto hummed softly, letting you talk it out to him. he felt the grip on his arm grow strong as the topic of your now-ex-boyfriend came up, his own feelings getting twisted inside his heart. seeing you cry over someone like him making a stupid decision, he wished to comfort you in a domestic manner yet refrained.
"i need to tell my supervisor i need a break. and to switch me to a different agency. there's no way i can still work with izuku after this." another hum, his back sinking into the couch. "do you have any ideas where you want to go? or how long you plan to take your break for?"
you sighed, the thought of it all already giving you a headache. your yawn filled the small silence, before responding. "agency? no clue. someone who wants me to become the best version of myself and not only wanting me to make their company look better." another yawn, your eyes growing heavy. "i need to consult with my doctor since i can't strain myself for a while anyways. gotta see what she recommends me, first."
todoroki nodded in understanding, noticing the change in demeanor. his blue blanket was folded on the arm rest of the couch, inching away from you slowly to not disturb you. he reached out for the blanket and slowly laid it over to your body. he muttered softly, telling you to lay down and that you should rest before you decide to go home.
"today was tough, so take a quick nap to replenish your energy. don't worry, I'll still be here when you wake up."
warmth enveloped you on a soft cushion, a light weight draped over your body making it unbearably hard to wake up. but with a groan straining out your throat and scrunch of your face, your eyes peered open slowly to look at the familiar apartment. the room smelled of some kind of soup, the broth being enough to make your mouth water. you glanced down at the suspect of the newly added weight to your body, a red blanket on top of your figure. it was weighted, along with a fluffy white cat balled up at your feet. in the kitchen, was todoroki. you can hear the clash of metals as she shuffled through various pots, placing them as quietly as he could on the stove, yet the smallest noise still ringing through the apartment. it felt homey. and it made you feel guilty. todoroki was important to you, but so was izuku. spending the night here, feeling and finding comfort in him, waiting patiently as he cooked you some dinner, it all felt wrong. you still felt the unbearable tie between your ex, and even though your brain finally understood that things were different, and that time has changed, your heart reminds you otherwise.
your hands picked up the ball of fluff at your feet, cradling the tiny baby in your arms to ease your mind. it purred softly, nudging its head into your fingers, its heterochromatic eyes of blue and green peering up. your socked feet scuffed its way towards the kitchen, watching fondly as todoroki lifted the ladle of broth to his mouth, taste testing his soup concoction. he winced at the taste, almost in disbelief at what he tried. who knows how long he's been trying to make this. with a stifled laugh, you offer to help.
"do you even know how to cook? let me taste it and I'll tell you what you need!" for being a pro-hero, him not noticing your presence was a little silly. he jumped a little but played it off, eyeing you softly. the cat meowed, jumping out of your hands and onto the floor effortlessly, rubbing itself on todoroki. it was a cute scene, his cheeks a pale pink and his ears flushed, the soft purrs of his cat and the disheveled wrinkles of his shirt was so cute. cute? oh, the guilty feeling is back again. your smile faltered as you walk to the pot, taking whatever leftover broth was in the ladle into your mouth to taste. you had the same reaction as him, grimacing in distaste. it was so bland, like, uncharacteristically bland. and watery? and.. missing every single spice needed to make it flavorful. you giggled, lifting yourself on the tips of your toes to reach into his cabinet, pulling out every spice needed and some other ones you wanted to try.
you spent the rest of the night cooking the soup, engaging in another game of catch-up over the past two years you were in the hospital. he mentioned the newer stores that opened near your home, or the stores that closed down recently or changed locations. because, of course he would remember all your favorite locations. he kept tabs on probably everything you had an interest in. he wasn't sure if that was good or bad, though. you listened intently nonetheless, nodding in understanding or gasping at the new news. he gave you updates about your friends, how mina went abroad to model for a partnership, or how bakugou actually mellowed out for once. he wasn't as invested in you guys' friends as he was about the things in your life, so there wasn't too much said, thought he said as much as he knew.
"oh, and yaoyaorozu? last I remembered you guys were together, no? we helped you move in here!" right. yaoayorou. he refrained from saying much about her. things didn't end well with her, and to be completely honest, he was to blame for it all. with an uneasy look, he pet his cat in his arms. shoto looked over the digital clock on the wall, 1:29 am. the story was far too long to explain. but he knew neither of you were tired. but if he explained it all, would you view him differently? he bit his lip in thought, uncertain and nervous.
"we broke up not too long after you were in the hospital." he breathed, allowing himself to get comfortable in the solace of his couch. "she said I was invested in everything but her, and that I never acted like a boyfriend to her but a.. placeholder." his blue and grey eyes peer in your direction, your orbs wide but focused, taking in the new information. you didn't want to believe though, you always believed shoto would have been a great boyfriend.
"she said that? im sorry for asking about it, but I'm sure you weren't as bad as she claims. maybe you guys were compatible, to she wanted more than you could give, y'know?" you tried to reassure him, but a part of it only made him feel guilty. he pressed on, thanking you gently while he continued his story.
"I visited you in the hospital every day, for several hours at a time. I went when I woke up before my shift, I went after, I went on my days off, I went on lunch breaks. I sat in the hospital chair, talking to you and sharing a meal more than I ever did with yaoyaorozu. My life had completely revolved around your well-being and it made her upset, rightfully so. I was never intimate with her, we hardly ever slept in the same bed. Our conversations were bland unless you happened to be brought up. Only then did I become interested, or it ended up in an argument. She said if I cared for you so much then why was I even bothering with her?"
the long tangent had you shocked, feeling the irresistible heat crawl up the back of your neck to your cheeks and ears, a hand covering your mouth as you watched him. he sunk further into the couch, almost sulkingly, clinging onto the white cat on his chest. maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the magic of being up late into the night, but he continued to talk and speak nothing but the truth. as bare and open as it was.
"I think my whole life has always been about you. but you were interested in midoriya. I figured it would have been a smarter move to move on from you since you were with him. and since yaoyaorou was the only person who could've been an option I half hazardly chose her and practically exploited her feelings for me to form a relationship, just to find closure in some one-sided feelings. that's why I visited you often in the hospital, and cut all ties with midoriya and ochaco when all those articles came out."
another look at the clock read 2:33am, before his eyes landed on yours. wet, big, and full of raw emotions. you let out a small sob, before sniffling and wiping your face, the faintest blush your nose. you scooted closer, laughing.
"if you say all that, I can't help but feel bad for yaoyaorozu. I can't imagine how that must've felt, for both of you. but i won't take your feelings lightly. give me some time, okay? things are complicated for me, too. if im being honest, hearing you say all those things makes me beyond happy, its almost embarrassing. but my conscious can't help but feel guilty, I still feel tied to izuku. I mean, just the other day in my timeline we were talking about marriage. then I wake up and find out hes with my best friend." your hands reach out towards the cat as well, scratching the top of her head as she purred, your fingers brushing up against todoroki's every now and then, before he decide to holds your fingers between his, his ow eyes never leaving your face as you spoke.
"I want to take your feelings with honesty. so just give me a little more time, okay?" even though the wallowing pain of guilt still continued to eat at you, you persevered and kissed the softness of his pale cheek, his face flaming up in red. he nodded meekly, giving your hand a squeeze.
when do you think the next chapter of love again will be up? i’ve been checking like dailyyyyy🙏🙏 im so excited for the next chapter💖
tonight!!! ive been having technical issues with my computer for some reason so ive been finishing it up on my phone but i had to move to my apartment this week and start a new job
😔🙏🏻 but in a few hours i WILL be posting. IM SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A SLOW WRITER i have a lot of ideas and no ambition
hey again😣life update: new job unlocked! will be starting soon. been having crazy outings w friends, long long days of frolicking, havent been on social media too much; tumblr included. i REALLY wanna continue this series (and i will!) but im not an ambitious writer, so its hard for me to actually sit down and finish. its 3am rn and to put myself at ease, i’ll try and upload the second part tonight or so. mainly bc im typing on my phone but need my (dead) macbook to finalize everything. so maybe tomorrow evening? 🎀 thanks for being patient and hopefully nobody forgets my silly little story. tag list will be updated on the new chapter, and anyone else who would wanna be tagged too!
sneak peak😍🙏🏻im gonna try and finish it tomorrow or the day after, im at maybe 1k words rn.. RAHHH i love creative writing but im such a procrastinator
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