Jude

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[sleeplessincairo]

hey chat how do i tell my professor that i couldn’t submit the assignment in time because i was too busy chronically masturbating until head hurt and pussy throbbed

[agustssuga]

WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD EDWARD CULLEN X READER FICS

[shymagnolia]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[shymagnolia]

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

[flagellant]

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

[sleeplessincairo]

God I need to pass everything so I can continue reading smut without guilt

[destinyblue-jjk]

honestly thinking of getting back into writing. (i’m losing my mind over there not being enough jordan li fics. 😭) i haven’t wrote anything in 3 years and nothing on this account (it’s a new account). i’m working full time but truly thinking of writing. (jordan li has truly got me in a chokehold).

[valtsv]

can i bite you

only if it's gay and you promise to be weird about it

[sleeplessincairo]

i just wanna say that as a kid with strict parents reading percy jackson i was so fucking mad at god like why couldn’t i be a demigod running around the usa in an orange shirt & nectar in my pocket with no adult supervision like why did you have to make me real why am i alive

[tredlocity]

[sleeplessincairo]

everyone: WHERE WERE YOU

clint: chillax, i was just taking a dump

peter, recoils: ew gross

tony: ever hear of tmi, barton?

natasha, facepalms: are you ever going to grow up

clint: ??? hello??? i’m not allowed to say i was taking a shit? a little stinky poo poo? a kaka? we’ve seen selvig NAKED and me commiting the normal act of excreted bodily fluids is gross?

clint: you guys would have never reacted this way if i had said i was off killing someone or whatever

bucky, thinking:...

clint: and another thi-

bucky: i killed someone

everyone: WHAT

[sleeplessincairo]

bucky: i say ONE sentence and my therapist starts writing so much in her damn little notepad???? like bitch i just said i wanna kill myself??? calm down

[sleeplessincairo]

growing up is basically constant nausea and popping anti-migraine pills everyday for breakfast

[sleeplessincairo]

clint: okay, fine, maybe i did indulge in too much ‘me-time’

natasha: clint, you’ve been missing for 5 years and presumed dead by all members and national authorities only for us to find out you’ve assumed the identity of a vigilante that dispatches and executes criminals.

clint: i’m not in the right headspace to deal with this rn...

[sleeplessincairo]

tony: kid, i’m telling you. you go down this path...our path...it’s not a long life.

peter: i dunno...steve and bucky are pretty old.

steve and bucky: kid’s got you there, tony.

[sleeplessincairo]

just want a man who’ll kill people for me

[sleeplessincairo]

‘my child is completely fine’ your child gets severely attached to everything they watch & create a fantasy for the characters where they’re all happy and wholesome and living together and baking cakes in the aftertoon and having movie nights and braiding each others hair and-

[sleeplessincairo]

normalize men reading wattpad fan fictions !!! so they finally know !!! how to sext !!! properly !!!

[sleeplessincairo]

i met a very pretty girl today and her favorite color is yellow and now i’m convinced the sun lives in my heart

[shymagnolia]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[shymagnolia]

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

[flagellant]

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post