"I do a lot of enemyfying. I tell myself stories about how other people are messing things up: colleagues, clients, suppliers, neighbors, family. I know that these aren't complete or fair stories about what is happening and that telling these stories isn't a productive way to spend my time. I also know that many people do the same--for example, in couples counseling, which most people enter thinking, 'Our problems are my partner's fault, and I hope this counseling makes them understand that they need to change.' But enemyfying is seductive because it reassures us that we are OK and not responsible for the difficulties we are facing."
-Adam Kahane, Collaborating with the Enemy (2017)











