SLIME

I skate and play drums. . IG @___swampy

[yotzuyu]

[detectivehole]

some of you are miserable because you're mean. like you're just mean to people and things

[detectivehole]

"why don't i have any friends" because you are mean

[detectivehole]

this can be fixed at least in part very easily though! just stop being mean. i believe in all of you 👍

[ratfuck]

Hello John Green. 6 years ago, you posted how cock is one of your favorite tastes, and balls your favorite smell. I hope you're hungry, because unless you eat your way through the bucket of cum to your left and find the key, the bomb collar attached to your neck will detonate. Make your choice.

[eliyanah-deactivated20220918]

“the feminine urge to—” (gunshots)

[princessterf]

(cash register ding) and take ya money

[foulserpent]

how do you get ppl who are like ‘love love LOVE all that matters is love!!! life is about love and nurturing and love!!’ and then interpersonally theyre some of the most unpleasant people imaginable

[peanutdream]

[depsidase]

[actionandreaction]

[jimhensonreject]

This is the real photo

Who on God’s green earth photoshopped their butt cracks to be larger and smaller. Why would anyone do this.

[hunky-salsa-deactivated20240901]

[egberts]

tragic. 37 clowns were killed today in a devastating one car pile up.

[unearthlyandradiant]

#the funeral has only one casket. it's what they would have wanted

[helloitsbees]

[hanzobow]

alfred molina is a national treasure

[blapis-blazuli]

I thought these tags in the reblogs had prepared me for what was coming. They did not.

[nationwidedornermoment]

Walks into the MRI room, my pockets absolutley stuffed with ball bearings

[pensandthings]

Seriously though, don't do this. That MRI machine will not only yank the bearings straight out of your pockets, it will very likely yank YOU off the ground and straight into/against the MRI machine. Which can be fatal.

[nationwidedornermoment]

[mecasloth]

Galaxy's Top Jizzer

[mecasloth]

Still Jizzing

[mecasloth]

The jizz master has logged on and is refusing to log off. 

[mecasloth]

Folks, you won’t believe this, but he’s still Jizzing!

[mecasloth]

Impressive! Still Jizzing! Wonder how long Max Rebo will go for!

[mecasloth]

This just in, I have reports that Max Rebo is continuing to Jizz. Just two more days and it’s a new record, folks!

[mecasloth]

Max Rebo continues to absolutely crush it in the jizzing department. If this holds, he WILL have the new world record folks! 

[mecasloth]

It is with the utmost sadness I have to report the passing of Max Rebo. He died of a heart attack from all the Jizzing this morning. He was 38 and has left behind a wife, and two children Max Jr and Min Rebo.

[mecasloth]

[mecasloth]

Thank the lord for all he has given! Max Rebo has returned! The Son of God walks with us once more!

[joshlovesyou]

[cundtcake]

@glossylalia @jessica-messica

[thoodleoo]

hades explaining that he’s the god of the dead, not the god of death

[moonlitlillypop]

Thanatos explaining that he’s the god of death, not hades

[moonlitlillypop]

Thanatos explaining that it applies to animals too

[mando-lore]

Poseidon explaining that he is the god of the seas and oceans

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

Zeus explaining why he can’t keep it in his pants

[miceprincess]

Hermes explaining why he gotta go fast

[memesandmylife]

dionysus explaining why he’s Like That

[femur-theif]

All of these are so accurate it hurts

[glass-trash-bab]

@nicadenic

[lesbian-velma-rights]

Also Hermes, God of messengers

[confusedwitch-deactivated202412]

And Eris, Goddess of discord and chaos

[funkiemonkey]

this is supposed to happen

[yimra-deactivated20250209]

[unclefather]

the government.