Mortified and Awesome!Halfway to Nowhere

90% Intrusive Thoughts, some are funny. 05/2026 Clear off the kitchen table darling. POSSIBLY AN ADDITION ON A LONG POST. M/ 49 /USA. You must promise not to fall in love with me. Jokes and comments in the tags. I apologize for constant posting. Some risky pantaloons when it gets to be that time of night. All are welcome.

[mortifiedandawesome]

Let’s spend hours just repeating a stupid phrase in endless variations of enunciation and fake accents, laughing our guts out.

[mortifiedandawesome]

It's like I already always get -1 damage from it with every step but occasionally it just envelops my soul and does a sudden -80 damage and I lose a couple of items and sometimes warp to the beginning of the dungeon

I mean I'm trying to kill a bat I shouldn't be bothered by some witch that zapped me hours ago

I'm never going to get the jumping crown

[mortifiedandawesome]

[lakeside-living]

[cosmonautroger]

[proteusolm]

Crazy to think that seagulls existed before french fries.

[bluebandedagate-reblogs]

Medieval seagull struggling to fly away with an entire purloined potatoe

[despazito]

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

[mortifiedandawesome]

they keep finding mine blinded from the lack of sunlight, 600 lbs and unable to walk

[cronenburger]

[dailyrothko]

And this post here shows there are a couple of different replies there were of course hundreds of replies. I even replied which I will now put here but besides making a joke about the famous quote, it was also Bloomsday

[victusinveritas]

[black-crested-jaybird]

I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.

[makingtrouble]

Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.

Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.

"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.

You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.

(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)

[kabber]

[mortifiedandawesome]

why did I mention medical office phone tag

Now I'm back in another fucking game of it

JESUS SEND ME AN EMAIL THEN

[mortifiedandawesome]

And then its fuckshit wasting my time

The IMPORTANT calls never get updates

9 minute call and 20 with the back and forth better not be a shitting bill

[mortifiedandawesome]

why did I mention medical office phone tag

Now I'm back in another fucking game of it

JESUS SEND ME AN EMAIL THEN

[mortifiedandawesome]

i can't take you seriously when you're fucking some guy named Chooch Harnies or Slop Holdup and the both of you should be dipped for fleas

[mortifiedandawesome]

Financial Assistance for maybe being a hollow shell going through the motions, hmmmmm????! Where's THAT slush fund

[porterdavis]

JD — meet bus

[lady-broch-tuarach-1]

If JD hasn’t seen that coming, than he is even more stupid than l thought.

[bowlby4]

[everything-art]

"Death and the Miser" (1635) by Frans Francken the Younger

[thedurvin]

This was an era when body language and gestures were very much deliberate in painting. What do y’all think, is he just recoiling in horror or is he talking to distract Death while subtly sliding his footstool to knock over the hourglass?

[mortifiedandawesome]

is that a different individual in the back facing death, or a memory of when The miser tricked death long before?