Basement Land

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if i look back, i am lost

Janaina Medeiros

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JVL
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DEAR READER
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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trying on a metaphor
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@sludge-sludge
Basement Land
My Rock
i dont want to change
been thinking a lot about a sort of post-Backrooms what-if scenario, where the higher ups at ASYNC feel like they can’t risk letting Mary go back to her life and instead “encourage” her to work with them
come on clark
Everyone ever should watch the backrooms movie actually.
Alt
I can help you open your window.
Plus a unused sketch. I hope to make a full piece of these characters soon.
Backrooms drawings :P
This dialogue reflects so many aspects of how people felt about that place
The window within
Backrooms spoilers/theory under the cut!!
During the scene where the Pirate chases Mary, it almost sounded like it was trying to say "Help Me," and maybe thats also why it attacked Clark, because he told it that they dont need to change but the Pirate wants to change, wants someone else to help it change, because it is a memory made from when Clark was still seeking help.
Clark said the creatures dont think or feel but thats clearly not true, they are capable of acting but seemingly only in ways that make sense to the memory they are trying to replicate.
and if I can just say that it DID break my heart when I realized that there was no planned redemption for clark, through bits and pieces I could make out that this wasn’t a pain of circumstance but instead a long imbedded story of how clark discards the people around him.
the casual dehumanization of his ex-wife, the disregard for his employees, the intimidation tactics used on his therapist, even going as far to EAT the stills. all done under the guise of “no one understands” where he’s coming from and how ACTUALLY he knows better than everyone else
mary was right that it’s not even about him being irredeemable or “evil” it’s the fact that even after getting the outcomes of HIS ideas and HIS desires he’s still MISERABLE he’s still a complainer and a crybaby about how EVERYTHING happens to him, how HE’S not actually responsible for anything that goes wrong but simultaneously being the only one that knows what’s best
him getting eaten felt like such a full circle moment like, what’s left when everyone who could’ve possibly cared about you is no longer around? what else can you destroy? being fully engulfed by a stumbling, destructive, whiny beast that “can’t control itself”
it’s just how he’s wired
Thinking about the fact that Clark and Mary both have their vices. Clark drinks, and Mary still takes the pills her mom used to give her. Clark self-isolates and escapes into his drawings. Mary dissociates at her crowded party and hides her panic attacks.
I know she’s his therapist and has a certain role to play in that regard, but based on her ad and her behavior at the party, I sincerely feel this is a front that has consumed her—clinical and matter-of-fact. But Clark can see right through her. For a shrink she has a terrible poker face. He sees beyond the veneer because he’s been forced to inhabit it himself time and again—be it in the form of a pirate mascot caricature or the furniture displays he now calls home.
He feels confined to the store he’s been exiled to, so when he finds the Backrooms, it’s like another realm of possibility unfolding before him. He opens a window alright, but not one that leads him out, back to people. He steps through the window within, and that potential of his he had long feared lost is reinvigorated. And that’s exactly what she wanted, right? Just wait until she sees all this.
the backrooms wouldn’t work on me cause I simply would not Go in There
somewhere in between
Personal Thoughts on Clark (Spoilers)
To be honest, I’ve never been understanding why people defend morally ambiguous characters until I saw him on screen. I’m not the “I can fix him” or “defend him for life” kinda person, but I want to study his personality and actions under a magnifying glass.
His nuanced mindset captivated me on how he struggles with anger issues, escapism, and avoidance. How he struggles with bills, but still sacrifice money to go see a therapist which has always been a taboo subject even during that timeframe. He wants change, but lacks the motivation to actively engage in it. The depressive cycle and anger makes him not see the bigger picture.
I don’t condone his behavior on any shape or form, but I do empathize with him. It probably took him a lot of time to actually put his foot in there. It’s hard to admit to need help and even go to therapy, I’ve been there personally. And I had to go through exercises of replaying the same event that troubled me (not like Clark’s personal one) and still not understanding. Therapy not working since your mind is stubborn to change, the emotions draining every motivation out, and recovery is slacking that you look into different coping mechanisms. It takes time and there’ll be hiccups, you just need to keep steadfast. It made me more invested in him learning and developing.
His coping mechanisms in the Backrooms reminded me of how people tend to disassociate and imagine scenarios of better lives. So it made my sensitive heart pang when he wasn’t understanding it in the roleplay scenario. And that ain’t Mary’s fault, sometimes a person is stuck and need a lot of time to heal, they need to build that effort themselves to get there.
I already know he’s been in therapy sessions before and it look similar to this one, but I wanted to see if there were different topics that revealed little tidbits on his life. Family? Friends? The drinks? I wanted more. But then again, it is the Backrooms, the mystic had to be there.
been thinking a lot about a sort of post-Backrooms what-if scenario, where the higher ups at ASYNC feel like they can’t risk letting Mary go back to her life and instead “encourage” her to work with them