you fucking asshole

[sluthollander]

shane hollander good boy who is secretly a slut and ilya rozanov bad boy who is secretly soft I love you both so much

[sluthollander]

Thinking about ilya doing puzzles with david and :)

[drabbles-and-rambles]

I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:

Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.

Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"

Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."

They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.

[shut-up-gwen]

“I want to thank my husband and captain Ilya Rozanov for his support and leadership and for the fact that his shot accuracy was down by 5% this season. The puck’s supposed to go into the net, sweetheart.” — Shane Hollander after winning the award for most goals after his first season as a centaur

[shut-up-gwen]

“Thank you to my beautiful husband, the light of my life, Shane Hollander. My love, if it wasn’t for your weak backhand, I would not be standing here today.” — Ilya Rozanov after winning the same award the following season

[ilyasmole]

heated rivalry 1.01 // 1.05 requested by @ilyarizzanov

[imsodishy]

One thing about the Hollander men; if you hit them with a social situation they don't know how to react to, they will straight up leave ✌️

call that the Hollander Goodbye

[ilyasmole]

[boitterfly]

and if ilya was a mermaid he’d be the biggest mermaid in the world

[boitterfly]

[cuppydogshane]

ilya voice actually my scales are rainbow and iridescent and stronger than steel so your shark bites dont work and im immune to poisons and im the fastest swimmer and the most beautiful also

[shanemp3]

[sluthollander]

ok but living and playing with shane making ilya a better player because he can't help but keep up with mr. "lives and breathes hockey" and it pisses BOTH of them off bc ilya is like "fuuuuck shane was right about all the bullshit minutiae" and shane is like "what the fuck do you mean that wasn't your best?????"

[cuppydogshane]

CHALANT AS FUCK. ILYA HE CAN SEE YOU MAKING THAT FACE

[downahill]

remember when shane went on a self growth journey after the all the things she said night while ilya had no idea shane and rose had even broken up and was so down bad still devastated after being ditched post frot of doom and despair in 2016. and then after all of that. ilya still found enough joie de vivre to show up to the all stars game wearing the most fuckass shirt imaginable ❤️

[sickness-health-all-that-shit]

really? :)))

[sluthollander]

it so fucking juicy to me that there's exactly one thing mr. self-control himself, shane hollander, cannot resist and stop himself from indulging in no matter how hard he tries and that is one ilya rozanov :)

[scunthotter]

I know this is the Shane Hollander website where we shanepost. Which is why I know you'll agree when I say I love Ilya so much. He should get whatever he wants and be able to smoke as many cigarettes and have them not be bad for him. He really does deserve Shane Hollander crying on it.

[themoonandmyman]

we see Ilya’s depression so fucking clearly in season 1 wayyy before he ever acknowledges what it is, but outside of tumblr I don’t see anyone talk about it which is Crazy to me. he’s the poster boy for the thousand yard stare and so much of his behaviour is completely explainable and Honestly Valid. kill me for saying it but if the prettiest boy id ever seen wanted to Know Me and i was in the middle of the State Mandated torture nexus i would also want to clam up and hit the bricks

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

ilya voice i am not feeling so fly like a g6, hollander

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

@minotauri

[sluthollander]

shane really fulfilling hockey stereotypes by marrying a blonde lmao