–– an organised hell

hyunjslx:

{ @slxseokjin }

With her legs crossed and her hands warmly tucked inside her grey long coat, hyun ji sat on the bench nearby the apartment of Seokjin and waited for his arrival. Her face revealed a smile that mimics a contented child as she removed her hands to pat the warm dinner packed in the 4-tier lunch box she had brought from her mom’s restaurant.

Her hands didn’t last very long in the cold and soon found its way back to their warmth, leaving the lunch box seated beside the owner. Hyun ji stood up and glanced at her watch before looking at the steep road where the male would be either driving or walking pass.

“He should be here any minute.. ” A smile tugged on her face as the image of the male surfaced in her mind. A habit formed ever since they met and became friends.

The first time they two met was when hyun ji had clumsily dropped her coins and had to squat down in the middle of the road to pick up while everyone cursed at her for blocking the way. She had no intention to, obviously. But it wasn’t right to just leave the coins there either.

Passerby would just walk away after looking at her but only one got down to help.

song seokjin.

despite living in the grand villa of gangnam, seokjin at times found the need to invest greatly in other complexes and perhaps, today was one of those days where he would go wondering around, almost routinely around these apartments. having left his parked car a little further than usual, the male had chosen the healthier alternative and decided to walk instead, since the complexes were but blocks away. at the sight of the familiar figure, his orbs widen slightly in surprise. confusion laced on his expression, he remembered distinctly that she didn’t live around here, or did she? he had no remembrance of her yet the familiarity of her features had him captivated.

a small smile props onto his features, a little nod rolling off his neck before stopping. and the memories begin to flow. ah, so this is her. the girl he had first met in the explosion of change, coins flying everywhere with the apathetic faces of passerby and he had helped her gather them.

“hyunji?”

a little frown pulling onto his brows, side eyeing his surroundings as to make sure he wasn’t missing something.

“what are you doing?”

#hyunjslx #( crush )

unexpected visit

slxjisung:

“Always a drama queen…it gives them more to write about,” he mumbled. Although Jisung had never been in any type of media besides the events he had attended alongside his family and despite how he’d always insist he didn’t know shit about what was going on in the world, he seemed to know how the media worked and what they wanted to see.

Perhaps it was because he was someone who was in the shadows, forgotten, so it was easy to pick up on things because no one had expected anything from him or notice his presence unless they needed something from him.

When his brother explained himself, Jisung didn’t think he could be more surprised than he already was and yet, he was just that. Since when was his family involved in one of the biggest gangs in Seoul? But even as his brother said this, he couldn’t help but think that it made sense. After all, when he had joined during his fit of rebellion, his parents didn’t even care or give it much thought. For a moment, he wondered what would have happened if he had ended up joining an opposing mafia instead.

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked quietly, unsure of what the purpose of his brother sharing this with him would be. When had this all even taken place? Recently or in the past? Surely it was in the past, because if he had been beaten that badly, he wouldn’t look like a pretty flower boy standing in front of him. “And they haven’t cut you off like they did to me? Instead they just…got you engaged to an Olympic swimmer?” A part of Jisung was in disbelief about the entire situation.

He didn’t doubt his brother’s words, he knew that he was most likely telling the truth, especially with the way that he was looking right now but being the selfish brat that he was, he compared himself to his brother, the eldest son who he could never be. All he had done was not speak to them and he had been cut off. He joined a mafia and they didn’t care or do anything to help him with it and yet, his brother still got money coming from them, he was still pampered and groomed to their will and now, soon, he would be getting married to a girl who was perhaps doing just as well as he was.

How unfair, he thought to himself, but if there was one thing that the youngest Song had learned was that nothing was easy and it certainly was never fair.

Life was just like that.

“can’t i?”

raising a brow slightly as he glanced over at his brother. he wanted to tell this to him because he wanted him to know the struggles that even he had to endure. what may seem like a gift, a complete god given treasure that was seen in seokjin’s palms were but an illusion to every other child’s mind. eyes that could not see, and words that could not be heard, actions that were mere slaps on the wrist when really, they were methods of lacerating the flesh off of limbs.

but of course, these were all secrets, little things that only those involved would know. and to seokjin, he believed jisung was the lucky child, the youngest and the one who had to deal with the family the least. but with that realisation and wish, only seokjin, the one who had experienced the merciless grooming of the parents would feel and see. to the other however, the world was but in the palm of his very hands, his words alone being able to send individuals off of the media, his hands morphing the casino into the belief of a multimillionaire business. but with wealth came the impending doom of unhappiness.

unhappiness was exactly what he felt. and freedom was but a blissful caress of the afternoon zephyr. so temporary, so easily passing and yet linger so agonisingly by his ear.

“i’m the legal owner of the casino.” “if they cut me off, the casino too will be disabled.” “all the family income will be gone.”

a smirk stretching across his face, as the reminder of who was the song head came to mind. oh the power he had, yet the control of those things he had no power over were but blurry shadows that haunt him in the sun. senseless things. another chuckle leaving him, this time laced with amusement.

“i cut them off for a month.” “and they came back threatening to kill me.”

a brow raises again.

“we have amazing parents.” “oh and, if you think i joined the lotus voluntarily...” “i didn’t.”

his parent’s had told him it was for business. the lotus were but a counter against those rivals yet the counter had backfired on their very own son and he was left to in their hands as his parent’s stood by and watched in despise.

unexpected visit

slxjisung:

“Lee Haneul, Lee Haneul…” the name didn’t bring a face to his mind, but it sounded familiar enough. If she was an Olympic athlete, then he must have seen her on TV or on a poster somewhere. He was curious as to what kind of girl his brother was arranged to, but not curious enough to Google her right in front of him. If the curiosity proved to really get to him after his brother was gone, then he would take a peek.

“Can’t say I know who that is, but again, the poor girl who has to end up with a man who doesn’t love her. Maybe you’ll grow to love her. That’s the kind of thing people would say in this kind of situation, right?” Although his tone made it seem otherwise, Jisung was genuinely offering his thoughts and suggestions on the matter. He wasn’t sure why he was suddenly taking such interest in such a matter, when he knew that more than likely, he wouldn’t even show up at the wedding and no one would even notice if he wasn’t there.

To him, it was still a different world than the one he had created for himself.

When his brother spoke again, he couldn’t keep the same expression he had been managing to plaster on his face and instead, a look of surprise washed over him and it grew quiet. “What do you mean?” he asked, breaking the silence. “You’re sounding really overdramatic now hyung. What would people think if they heard you saying weird shit like that?”

he couldn’t help but laugh. perhaps, one day he might fall in love with haneul. but at this point nothing but an ambiguous ball of emotional turmoil swayed inside of him. and he came in like a wrecking ball, destroying everything in his path only to realise that it was his own home. tragic, really. his laughter ceasing to a wide grin.

“it must be all of this shit in my life that’s making me a drama queen.” “i wonder what the media prefer?” “a drama queen or an emotionless pole?”

he shrugs to himself.

“uhh––” “well, our dad lead me into the lotus.” “i did some shit.” “defied him.” “and i got beaten to death.”

another shrug.

oh how the memories made him so angry. fuming at the core as each word left him. how he loathed their family, his father mostly. and he couldn’t even begin to express how much negativity came from his experience within the gang, with only positive thing having been able to witness his brother’s entrance and departure without harm. like a guidance he had tried to be in the other’s life only to be guided himself by his parent’s into the corner of death and isolation. all his life, he had painted the picture of a perfected family and pasted it onto the family’s fridge, earning himself a few gentle caresses and pecks on the forehead. but now, that image is shattered, torn and shredded to pieces, nothing but the angers of the past fuelled him. with each reminding word, triggering him to the precipice of knuckles and violence.

“but like you, i haven’t spoken to them since.” “all my messages i get are passed on from my housekeepers and maids.”

+ lie to you

#slxhaneul #( lie to you )

slxhaneul:

slxseokjin:

This always happens. Him being nice when she least expects him to. There would often be times when she falls quiet and the want to draw back from this engagement always ends up as a mess. Her mind and her heart would often fight just because of him. When he came closer, she didn’t even move. There he goes again making her heart race, stealing her breath and her, falling again for the man who will never love her back. As naive as she might seem to be, she was sure she can’t let go of him so easily. When he held her, everything seemed to be afloat. So what if the paparazzi sees them? That would give their parents a favor, for sure. They’d confirm it right away that she and Seokjin are in a relationship.

Boo Hoo.

He didn’t even ask her to be his girlfriend, what more to be his wife. It was like a slap on their faces with each other’s name being imprinted in their heads. Haneul has a little habit of puffing her cheeks before breathing out loudly when she feels defeated. Often she does it when Seokjin was being kind to her. Stealing her heart without him knowing.

“Fine. If we can’t go to the beach then, I guess your place seems to be a good idea to put my mind at ease for now.” Crinkling her nose as she fondly gazes up to him with a smile. Getting up and letting him lead the way like the gentleman that he is.”I told you, oppa. I’m just stressed out. It might be the competition’s pressure dragging me. You know how obsessed everyone is with winning the gold. I can’t lose.” Nodding her head as they walked out of the cafe.

She didn’t bring her car, it was something they do. He takes her home like a good boyfriend or husband to be that he should be. So she has no reasons to bringing her car and all. It was always him picking her up and taking her home or her parents telling the driver to take her where he was and he’ll drive her back to her place.

“Dinner sounds nice.” How could she refuse when he’s the one insisting. He would usually turn her down so when he offers such thing, she can’t help but grab the chance. “I’ll cross my fingers then. I hope you don’t end up burning your house down too, oppa. We can order something if your food is more.. for.. you know? Display. Ha.” Nudging him gently as she feels the mood lighten. These are the moments she lives for. When everything seems normal. When for a moment, she could say she’s happy to be with him.

“or we could drop by the beach as well.” “if that’s what you want.”

another smile.

“i’m sure i’m not that terrible.” “trust in my cooking instincts.”

nudging her back as he went to the other side. in moments like this all he wanted to do was forget about their arranged marriage, he just wanted to remain as what they were prior from all the interference of the family. with time, maybe she could have been the one he loved, but with force he felt nothing but the pressure that sat upon his shoulders. and no one could understand the pain and guilt he felt. his own parent’s having rejected such feelings long ago, as they ditched him and watched him being cuffed to the ground, beaten until his flesh was torn. and he was afraid, truly afraid. and for the first time he felt lost, he knew they only punished him because he was defiant, yet if he had chosen to defy further where would his life take him now? he had no choice but to agree, because with death came the fears of a new start.

the drive to the beach was a drive worth taking, his mind having been taken and swept by the thoughts of yesterday, a sigh leaving him before being knocked back to reality.

“has my parent’s said anything else to you?”

a part of him was curious, whilst the other couldn’t care less, hypocrisy streaming through his emotions as his syllables left him. if someone were to ask him if he had a family? he would say no, admit that they had passed away in some lonely town of europe, but of course the song family was anything but low key. he truly despised his own parent’s however he had put up a facade that had soon become so real that he had even fooled himself. yet he never picked up and answered their calls, all his messages were given to him by his maids and housekeepers. he had never directly spoken to them for years now, since they had left for europe.

“did she mention anything else about me?”

slxjiyeon-blog

blast from the past

#slxjiyeon #( blast from the past )

slxjiyeon:

“Oh, a game?”

That was right, he was a professional basketball player now. Besides this, he probably had a much busier schedule than she did and had places to go and people to see and things to commit to in order to please the public.

Jiyeon nodded and offered a smile. “Are you playing or are you just attending?” she asked, not really sure why she was trying to hold onto his precious time when she knew it wasn’t doing her any good. Besides, he didn’t even remember her. He had probably chosen to forget all about her when he had ditched her on their date all those years ago.

“Me? Oh uh…” and suddenly, her mind drew a blank and a frown appeared on her face and her brows knitted together in thought. What had she been planning on doing after she was finished performing?

“Actually, I was thinking of just getting something to eat…but other than that, I didn’t really have any other plans.”

he nods at her question, a game indeed. was it not what he just stated? and with her second he glanced up at her, a little hesitant. what he said he was playing, would she be interested in coming along to watch? or what if he said he was only attending what should be his guest and watch with him? questions that do little but struck him of fear, an emotion had forgotten once too long ago.

“i’m playing.”

his family. another subject of turmoil within his life. his brother having some kind of grudge towards him whilst, his own parent’s having set him up for an arranged marriage, having only informed weeks prior. yet the memories of a decade ago still haunt him, he found himself twisted in the nightmares that became day dreams, and the day dreams that gradually would morph into the monstrosity he called life. they had banned him from seeing her, talking to her, with little reason but the punishment would take his life. all he could do was oblige with the rules, and here he was today, standing on the a stadium and a stage, doing what he could only dream of.

“if you’re interested...” “do you want to come watch my game?” “after your eating of course.”

unexpected visit

slxjisung:

Jisung stared at Seokjin, blinking as he tried to make sense of what he was saying. “Aren’t you faking it though?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. The words came out harsher than he intended for them to, but at this point, it was the only way Jisung could really interact with people; always with a hint of rudeness in his tone. “She thinks you love her–or she doesn’t, I don’t remember what was said, but the point is…you don’t love her and you’re gunna marry her. Like…you’re just gunna do it. Doesn’t that mean you’re going to be faking it?”

Jisung told himself he didn’t care what kind of fate his brother ended up with. He told himself that it was a path that he had chosen for himself, choosing to accept the yellow brick road that their parents had given him to walk on even though there were other paths in life he could have taken.

Their parents surely weren’t going to disown him or cast him aside if he didn’t do what they said, would they? He was the prodigy, after all. The eldest son. A lot rested on his shoulders. In Jisung’s eyes, that meant that the world was truly in the palm of Seokjin’s hands and yet, with a simple look at his face, Jisung knew he didn’t really know his brother at all.

Why would he look that way if he could have anything he wanted? Why was he here when he could be spending time with people who actually liked him? Why was he even talking to him at all? Confiding in him about such personal details that surely, if Jisung choose to let slip, would bring such shame and dishonour to their family and make whoever his bride-to-be’s family was angry that the oldest Song child had no interest in their daughter.

“Who is she?” he couldn’t help but ask, wondering if he knew the girl. He did his best to cut off everyone that was associated with his family and yet, he couldn’t help but wonder who this mystery girl was.

When Seokjin spoke again, Jisung let out a sigh. “Why would that even matter? If they take my life, it’s not like I’d be around to know it was taken and suffer from it. If I die, then I just die. That’d be the end,” he shrugged, as though this was reasonable logic to make.

It wasn’t as though Jisung wanted to die or had such negative thoughts and more than anything, Jisung was just being a brat now, seeing if his brother really did care about the words he said to him.

Jisung rolled his eyes at Seokjin’s next words and let out another sigh. He couldn’t help but feel annoyed at the look on his face and wanted to wipe the smirk right off his lips but if his parents found out, there would truly be hell to pay for harming their precious son. Who cares? he thought. They cut me off already, what more could they take from me?

“None of your business. I should have known you’d known about that…”

nothing but a chuckle would leave him as the other spoke, and perhaps he was faking it. faking it only because he knew he would have to soon marry her, but the genuine side of him had him voluntarily assisting her with all that he could because he loved her truly, perhaps not as a lover but as something else. he shrugs slightly as the others question was directed next. a part of him felt the need to love her, maybe because everything was so forced onto him, but he couldn’t exactly understand why he couldn’t. was his heart somewhere else, with someone else? but who? the failure in recognition with his own emotional turmoil had him frustrated, irritated to the core.

and he couldn’t argue when those around him said he had the world in his palms. from open facade, he did. he had everything. but with the mechanics that wired inside, the world was what he had lost. it was but the mirroring image placed above him, where his parent’s had forced him to reach for. but as time went by, the force no longer gave him any motive. he grew to find out who they truly were, and with that he had grown to give up.

he glances over at the other, who asked for who his fiance was. a scoff leaving him.

“lee haneul.” “the olympic swim team captain.”

the other’s logic was anything but predictable, his scoff ceasing to a subtle smirk. there was a fine line between living and surviving, and most times seokjin found himself on the brink of surviving on what little hope he was given. the lack of control and decisions in his life that was guised by the eldest son’s responsibilities, all but lies whispered into his ear.

“how could i have not known?” “our parent’s threw me into that ditch and left me to die.”

and he still had the scars and ink to prove it.

#( moodboards )#slxhaneul

rmxjangmi-blog

[ Haneul x Seokjin ] “It takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations”

+ lie to you

#slxhaneul #( lie to you )

slxhaneul:

“I’m fine.”

She lies. “It must be stress and exhaustion. I barely get a break from training these days.” Looking up to him, she felt at ease. His touch was like a moment of relief through the torture she’s walking on to just to have him. “I don’t wanna go home.. No one’s waiting for me back at my apartment or at our house.” It was true. “I don’t wanna be alone for a while. It’s.. suffocating.”

She already was suffocated with the expectation that her family has and then there’s the whole country rooting for her to win gold. “It’s sad. I don’t wanna get used to loneliness.” Her words were mere whispers for she fears he’ll not understand. He has siblings, says her parents. She doesn’t. She may have Hyukjae and a few friends of hers, but she’ll actually alone. She always was and it was sad.

Now he was with her yet his mind was elsewhere. Worse, if she ends up marrying him without him loving her in return, she’d end up being alone, loving him in vain as she does now. “Would you mind? Maybe taking me out for a drive? I just.. really feel stuffy. I-If you’re not busy, of course. I don’t want to get in the way if you ever have prior appointments after this.” Tapping her feet, indicating her anxiousness rising as she waits for her response.

“But if you’re busy, I would understand. I know you’re a busy man yourself. I can go home by myself, oppa. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

i’m fine. lies that he had been fed for so long, and the same nod he would give her as he took them in. he knew they were lies, yet the want, no –– the need of having to see another was what made him turn into the monster she sees him as. genuine worried eyes gaze at her, because despite his lack of interest as she had spoken, with the slightest sign of her ailments made him uneasy, as if a part of his limb were to be amputated, perhaps it was the guilt truly catching up to him, but who knows for sure.

he gets up from his seat. his gaze remaining her as seconds pass. he moves and plants himself next to her, an arm coming around her waist, nothing had left him since her mention of loneliness. oh how it felt it. the loneliness, the solidarity that soon become a hobby in his life. he had siblings, sure. but the separation and rivalry between it all had him feeling isolated, he felt nothing but blame from his brother, the condescending gaze of his sister and the threatening look on his parents’ own features. a genuine smile appearing on his features, as he turned to her, his grip tightening.

“i’ll guide you out.” “we can take the detour route back to mine.”

his gaze drops.

“i know you’re not fine, haneul.”

standing up slowly. the waitress of the cafe not bothering to check up on their table, as they knew who he was, he was but the owner two blocks down from here, the casino where their own manager would come to play and lose. he nods at them, as a reassurance that he wasn’t going to run away with a free french earl grey. he had parked his car right outside, the white lotus espirit of the latest model, not something he had gotten on his own but rather a gift from his sponsors.

“i’ll us make dinner.” “hopefully it’ll be edible.”

a chuckle leaving him before guiding her inside. an attempt to loosen up the mood.

slxjiyeon-blog

blast from the past

#slxjiyeon #( blast from the past )

slxjiyeon:

She was a special memory.

For some reason, these words made her heart hurt. Was he talking about her? Surely he was, wasn’t he? Jiyeon wasn’t just wishing and hoping for that to be the case, but a part of her scolded her for thinking this way. If his words were true and they were about her, then why had he not shown up for their date all those years ago? Why had he cut off contact with her and never seen or spoken to her again?

There were so many questions that haunted Jiyeon and it annoyed her a little that even after all these years, she found herself hung up on such things. It’s because you didn’t get closure. You didn’t get an explanation. Yes, that was the reason. She had been left to let her mind wander and assume the worst and most ridiculous situations without any verification or denial on them all.

“Hm?” she said, snapping out of her reverie. “Oh…uh…well, once it’s all done, everyone just goes on stage and you just…close the stage. They probably gave you a script, right? It’ll tell you what to say on there,” she said, pointing at the cards in his hands, assuming that that’s where the words he was meant to say were.

At his compliment, a soft smile appeared on her face. Yes, he had already complimented her on her performance but still, hearing it again from him was something she knew she would willingly hear and accept over and over again.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” she said, the smile on her face widening and she genuinely meant it too. Knowing that he had been watching her perform, it only made sense for her to want him to enjoy it, didn’t it?

“What are you doing after you finish your MCing here Seokjin-ssi?”

he nods as she spoke, like he had always, unbeknownst to him that perhaps she was the one he had been missing all these years. the decade that passed almost too easily yet the pain still inching closer to his beating organ and he was forced to resist. the same resistance that enveloped his entire being in a sphere of crimson, redness that could not be peaked or conquered, the same redness that caused him to slam angered fists against cement, only to regret his decision as his fingers laced around the next. his gaze returning back to her as she responded to his compliment.

“i have a game to attend to.” “local basketball game...”

he nods, slight awkwardness this time before tilting his head.

“and what might you be doing after this?”

a part of him felt compelled into asking her if she had wanted to come join and watch his game, but the other part felt it was so wrong to ask someone he had just met to accompany him. although, she had shown some resemblance in the girl he had loved once upon a time ago, he felt the approach would be a little creepy and so he had brushed the idea off completely.

unexpected visit

slxjisung:

Again, a scoff escaped the younger Song’s lips. That much he knew, but when it came to his family, all he had ever learned from the years he spent under his parent’s roof was that things were done in order to get things. He had seen this much as he watched his brother and sister being treated like royalty, because they did things that got their parents things and then they were rewarded for it.

Jisung was suddenly intrigued at the way his brother spoke of his betrothed and the curiosity and slight amusement was written all over his face. “Oh? Not the one you love? Who’s the one that you love then? Who even is it that you’re getting married to? Or did mom and dad not share that bit of information with you either?” Although Jisung told himself he would mind his own business and keep his nose out of his family’s affairs, he couldn’t help but question his brother. “She’s nice…but you don’t love her? Ah, well…I guess it sucks to be her,” he shrugged, wondering who the poor girl was that didn’t have his brother’s heart.

Jisung couldn’t help the look of disbelief on his face at his brother’s comment. If there was one child out of the three that his parents cared for, Jisung had always assumed and would adamantly insist that the child was Seokjin. Him saying otherwise only raised more questions in the young boy and he knew he shouldn’t push the subject further, but Jisung had always done as he pleased, even when his decisions landed him in situations that got him into trouble.

“If they did…then what?” he blinked, a neutral expression now on his face. When he changed the subject, Jisung let out a sigh. “They might not care about me hyung, but don’t put arranged marriage for me past our parents. You think they’ll let me end up with someone I want to be with when there’s plenty of deals and transactions to be made for them by arranging me with someone?” he reminded his brother. “But see, if they try to do that with me, I’m going to say no, because I have nothing to lose with them. It’s only them that suffers.”

all the questions that suddenly rose from the other, only made seokjin hopeful in the idea of rekindling the little relationship they still had with one another. prior times before, jisung had never shown interest in his life, only giving the scarce sounds of a scoff and the rolling of his eyes, something that the song family did extremely well by nature. still remained standing, seokjin lets out another chuckle, this time laced with confusion, unknowingness and yet the pain of the turmoil he felt wedged somewhere in his soul. if he had one at all. triggering a scoff.

“well...” “saying that i don’t love her is probably wrong...” “i do love her, but just more as ––”

waving his hand in denial, a sigh leaving him.

“she probably thinks i’m just faking everything.”

a bitter chuckle this time. his gaze averts to the floor, a shrug rolling off of heavy limbs, evident turmoil in his actions. but at least through these struggles if he could somehow regain the trust of his brother, it would have been all worth it. and in all honesty, it wasn’t that he didn’t love her, he did, he really did, but there was a fine line between the love he felt for her and the love he felt for his brother. the confusion between brotherly affection and the kind of love that he felt that triggered his giddiness and excitement were different. however, for an emotionally corrupted person, it was hard to differentiate this in the current moment. another sigh leaving him.

“is your life not something you want to lose?”

a smirk appearing on his corners, slumping himself on the single on the side. and with that, the reminder of how his life had literally flashed before his eyes made him scoff at how irresponsible the parent’s of the renowned song family are. his own parents having sent out punishers to finish off their own son, merciless pupils that stared back at him as he cuffed and shoved to the concrete. eldest son they said, prodigy child they said, the gem of the family they said. bullshit. all of them. if it had all been true to their words, he would not have ended up with the pains of yesterday upon his flesh as a reminder. his gaze landing back on his brother.

“how was your gang experience?”

a smirk and scoff accompanying his words as he let his head roll back in exhaustion.

#slxhaneul #( moodboards )#( lie to you )

rmxjangmi-blog

▶ Now Playing... Bed of Lies - Nicki Minaj ft. Skylar Grey .. ‘’ Do you ever think of me when you lie, Lie down in your bed, your bed of lies? And I knew better than to look in your eyes They only pretend you would be mine And oh how you made me believe You had me caught in every web that you weaved But do you ever think of me when you lie, Lie down in your bed, your bed of lies? ‘’

unexpected visit

slxjisung:

Seokjin’s words surprised Jisung. They hadn’t told him about his own wedding? The heir to the Song household and fortune didn’t even know he was going to be getting married? For some reason, he immediately thought of the dramas he’d seen on TV where similar situations unfolded on screen. One character loving the other unconditionally while the other remained clueless. Was his brother in the same situation right now too?

The whole thing was ridiculous and Jisung could only respond by laughing. “Well…I hope she’s a nice girl hyung. I really, truly hope that she makes you happy,” he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief at the entire situation and even more so at his brother’s words. He wasn’t important enough to know that he had been betrothed to another? It truly was comical.

Jisung didn’t know why he would accept his parent’s money and not his brothers. Perhaps he felt like his parents owed him at least this much for the way he had been raised over the years. Perhaps it was because he blamed his brother and sister for the way his life had turned out, a failure and disappointment to the Song family. If he hadn’t been around, surely his life would have turned out differently.

“I don’t need to explain my reasoning to you…” he mumbled, sitting back on the couch and crossing his arms over his chest, truly channeling the image of a stubborn fool. What was he hoping to get out of this? He didn’t even know anymore. It just seemed like nature to be like this with his family now, since it was the way he had always been for so long. Nothing really made much sense.

Silence fell over the brothers after Seokjin spoke again, a small frown forming on his lips at his brother’s words and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little bit guilty for the way he treated his older brother.

“Why’s that, hyung?” he asked, finally breaking the silence and looking up at him. “You don’t owe me anything. Mom and dad don’t even know you’re doing this, so what are you supposed to get out of it?”

“not everyone does things in hopes of gaining in the end, jisung.”

a slight shrug rolling off his shoulders as he spoke, and for one, his parent’s were nowhere near the level of maturity he had expected from them. they had always done things for gain, one way or another and jisung was the living proof of this theory. a theory that had been set in stone and now a living story. to seokjin, he knew why and how his brother felt, but the shared affection was never diverted to the other because he felt jisung would appreciate not being in the spotlight. the spotlight for him felt so forced, so unnatural and so irritating. clenched jaw and angry orbs that forced themselves to smile at his parents, the shaking of his head as his parent’s watched him getting slashed and whipped, yet none of them had come forward, instead they encouraged it.

“she’s ––” “she’s nice.” “she may not be the one i love...” “but she’s nice.”

attempting to make it sound as casual as possible. another shrug.

“not like they care about me.”

another bitter chuckle.

“i mean...” “if they did, the lot ––”

a sigh this time, hand coming up to rub at his nape, a sigh leaving him. no. it wasn’t the right time to tell his brother yet.

“look.” “if you think you have it rough ––” “try getting into an arranged marriage.”