Re:Zero analysis - Subaruās Femininity & Genderqueerness
Natsuki Subaruās expression of femininity within Re:Zero is almost always either fetishized or hated, in both cases usually trivialized, reduced to āTappeiās fetishā more often than not. Itās a heavily misunderstood topic that definitely deserves more clarification. Yes, crossdressing has always been a hobby of Subaruās, but itās always been much more than that, since it is an expression of his femininity, a part of himself. He had always struggled with it and it spiraled into heavy gender issues, which made a heavy impact in how he wants to be seen.
It is important to mention that Tappei gives a great deal of importance to the names of his characters, them being a big part of their identity, as shown through the relevance of Sin Archbishops, Witches, etc. being named after stars, how they relate to their place in the world and their characteristics, but also shown through Gluttonyās power, in how having your name stolen means having your identity forgotten by the world.
Tappei purposefully chose āSubaruā, yes, in big part due to lore related reasons for sure, especially since it is the name of a star cluster, but it is also explicitly a gender neutral name, being used for both boys and girls. This is even explicitly brought up in the āMy Fair Bad Ladyā Side Story, and even further grounded in the Mimagau IF, where every genderbent character had their name altered except for Subaru and Roswaal (who had been a woman before).
As early as LN 1, Subaru refers to his preschooler self being āquite cuteā, having long hair and often mistaken for a girl, something he seems to think fondly of, saying that the passage of time is ācruelā and āunforgivingā. The phrasing directly ties in cuteness with his girly appearance, which further correlates that appearance with something he misses, along with the positive attention he had gathered. It is possible to point out the first occasion in which Subaru learnt that it's only if heās seen that he exists.Ā Ā
His physical appearance is pre-school is brought up once again in LN 19, where he brings up that he had been called āPrincess of the Iceā, an obviously feminine title addressed to the self who had still been often confused for a girl, being called once again āadorableā, supporting the implication that itās something that he misses.Ā
This is even further supported by another mention of his preschooler self, or rather, the end of his āadorable selfā, calling himself āas pretty as a flowerā. He does not look down upon his preschooler self once again, never saying anything negative about itā He rather says that period of his life had ended once he had his long hair cut, the manifestation of his femininity. He hadnāt wanted to be mistaken for a girl anymore, and yet he had cried a lot when he had his hair cut. After all, that long hair was part of him. Long hair is a very smart allegory for femininity, intrinsically being closely associated with it by todayās societyās standards, so having his hair, a part of his body, cut is a metaphor for him choosing to reject his feminine side, a part of his identity.
āBut if he liked being feminine, why did he cut his hair?ā The reason is very simple: Femininity was not what was expected of a man. Subaruās been specifically someone who lives for external validation and acceptance, and societal gender expectations didnāt allow for a boy to have long hair. While young it would be considered cute, as he grew up, it would be considered weird, and Subaru did not want that, wanting to present himself as masculine, to become a āreal manā, as per those expectations.Ā
Hence why he also said that ānowadays, he would only feel comfortable as long as the back of his head felt jarring to the touchā, very interesting wording as ācomfortableā, a positive adjective, is a direct antonym for ājarringā, a negative one. Calling the back of his hair, now short, ājarring to the touchā, even further suggests that he misses that long hair, which had been established to be an allegory for his femininity. He found comfort in something he does not like, which perfectly encapsulates his issue: In favor of expectations of being a man, he had literally cut off a part of himself. This is a topic that will be discussed later in the analysis.
Another reason would be that he grew up under Kenichiās shadow, and being his āfatherās sonā had instilled a sense of superiority in him. In regards to Tappeiās method of writing, the wording used is extremely important, so it is crucial to notice that itās not āchildā that is used, but āsonā. The same applies for his father. Itās not āKenichiā, but āthat manā, to the point that āKenichiā and āmanā are synonymous.Ā
This will be brought up again later, but the point here is that āsonā is a male noun, and itās part of the identity and expectations Subaru tried his hardest to fit in the entirety of his childhood, especially when Kenichi is brought upā The personification of masculinity. Being āthat manās sonā did not allow for femininity.Ā
Long before he had gotten into high school, being āthat manās sonā had become a curse to Subaru. So, with a new environment, he wanted to become something else entirely in a new world that did not see him as suchā¦ Literally.
He had taken up the part of himself he had cut off in his early childhood, the part of himself that had not been rejected, the part of himself that used to attract positive attention and validation in early youth. He wanted to escape being āthat manās sonā to such a degree that he took up his femininity once more, presenting himself as a girl.
It is something he had genuinely enjoyed, and finally felt like he could enjoy school life after struggling to not stand out, to not get the attention and validation he was taught to crave throughout the entirety of middle school after the realization that he is nothing special, and out of shame, did not want that to be noticed.Ā
It is, ironically, his high school life he rarely speaks about even in the āParent and Childā chapter, and itās not unintentionalā Itās only that part that gets quickly glossed over, treated as something unimportant in spite of him claiming in various side stories that it had been extremely traumatizing to the point of having been a major catalyst behind dropping out. Every time he almost talks about it, he stops himself from doing so and consciously blocks the memory.Ā
What we know is that he had enjoyed school life presenting himself as a girl for three days since the high school entrance ceremony, and on the third day, his voice had outed him as a boy, ruining everything and making him promise to himself he would never crossdress again (though it was broken). It is exactly this part that gets painfully obscured, refusing to talk about it whatsoever.
All of the context clues we have would be found in the āNatsuki Subaruās Splendid Steward Lifeā SS, where he had been tricked to wear a maid outfit for an entire day. It was very interesting to read Subaruās reaction to Emilia seeing him dressed up femininely, his inner thoughts spiraling from āWas the world out to get him?ā to āHe wanted to dieā, āTo move was death, to speak was deathā and calling that situation a āfatal woundā that couldnāt be avoided.
Subaru was stated to hate wordings such as āit hurt so bad they could dieā or anything of the sort that involved death, considering it an insult to the actual pain of death and death itself, something he had actually endured multiple times. And yet, he goes out of his way to compare this seemingly trivial situation to death FOUR times.
To continue, his feelings and expression were stated to start dying by the second until Emiliaās reply that did not bash him for the act of expressing his femininity in itself, but rather that the dress itself simply did not suit him, which shocked him. His immediate question was to make sure he wasnāt going to be labeled a pervert and yelled at, which I can only assume that something similar had happened in high school, judging by his reaction. Though taking into consideration his inability to reveal what happened, itās likely something worse had occurred, especially since afterwards, he had been treated like thin air by his peers.Ā
But in essence, the world had not responded with love to his femininity, but with rejection and disdain. The self he had considered the most pure and innocent, cut off before being tainted, was deemed unacceptable. His entirety had been rejected by society from the world, ending up thinking that maybe he shouldnāt have existed at all.
The most interesting bit about his reaction, to me, however, was his high school experience being tied together in the same line of dialogue as āNow Iāll never get to be a bride! Emilia-tan, please say we can be married!ā, breaking down into tears when he questioned Emilia about it.Ā
If you didnāt know, that line is a direct reference to the famous painting āI cannot be a bride anymoreā by Yuko Tatsushima (1999), a very haunting piece of art depicting a woman in pain with a haunted and shocked look, considering herself undesirable as a bride after having her virginity, considered the groomās prize to be taken, stolen away before marriage. It is not the first time Tappei linked Subaru to this specific painting, having done so once before in the Arc 2 WN when he had found out Emilia had changed his clothes while he slept with the implication that she had seen his naked body.
Any relevant details regarding his high school life had been relegated to side stories and Q&As and not the āParent and Childā chapter itself considering that the whole thing was a confession to his father, and it is very likely that he did not want Kenichi to know about any of it, making this part of the chapter not 100% reliable. It is safe to assume that this event that had been blocked from his memory played a huge part in Subaru ending up stopping going to school, describing it as feeling exceptionally at ease, his school days being painful, along with wanting his parents to stop loving him, so he could be āset freeā.Ā
In the Arc 4 WN version of the āParent and Childā chapter, Subaru had called himself āeffeminateā, even going as far as calling himself a ācreatureā that did not deserve to be āKenichiās sonā, openly believing that being feminine is in his nature to the point he couldnāt call himself a man (let alone a human. Another word for āhumanā would be āmanā, so I think it makes up for very interesting wordplay here).
In a Q&A with Tappei, he had been asked what exactly made Subaru great at wearing womenās clothing, to which Tappei replied that his gestures perfectly replicated the ideal beauty standards for a japanese woman, even bringing up the proverb for them in Japanese culture: āShe is beautiful who stands charmingly like a chinese peony, sits gorgeously like a moutan peony, and walks elegantly like a lily.ā Suggesting that he was not only feminine in appearance, but also in gestures. Ironically, he effortlessly fulfilled the (beauty) expectations of a woman, but struggled meeting those of a man.
To support this, just a glance at his physique had Ram convinced that he would perfectly fit into Fredericaās clothes, normal menās clothing not fitting him at all and needing modifications. His fingers had been described as slender multiple times, an adjective usually meant for female charactersā hands, and his face had also been described as being āsuitable for makeupā on multiple occasions as well.Ā
Subaru often displays traditionally feminine hobbies, such as sewing, embroidery and makeup, having fun designing dresses and/or decorating them, putting an emphasis on cuteness and beauty, even in IFs. His go-to patterns seem to be flower motifs, often associated with femininity.
His behavior is explicitly detached from masculinity, being quickly accepted among his female co-workers in Sloth IF for being different from all the other men and explicitly using the word āfeminineā to describe him. (excuse the fontā¦)
In the same manner, heās accustomed to affixing feminine words to himself as a way of description, calling himself āmotherlyā, a ādancer girlā, āheroineā or a āgirl in a knitting circleā. And naturally fitting in roles that would normally belong to women.
Struggles with traditional gender roles
The world of Re:Zero is patriarchal society where men are expected to be strong and reliable, with women relegated to support them. Multiple characters were shown to struggle in this kind of society in regards to their gender, such as Ferris, who, despite his appearance who had been described to āscream āgirlā at youā, at his core would rather prefer to be a masculine man, bemoaning his inability to serve as Cruschās knight in the conventional sense, and disliking Subaru for being āweakā therefore āunmanlyā, seeing the traits he sees in himself being reflected in Subaru, or Crusch, who had thrown away her femininity in order to take up the sword and her family.
To get back to the main point, in the world of Re:Zero, Subaru falls within stereotypically feminine roles, especially in the roles of being a support when he wishes to define himself as someone who āprotectsā or āattacksā, a traditionally masculine role, completely unsuited to him. This, ironically, is shown with his Authorities, who shape themselves after the userās nature.Ā
Sloth: For Petelgeuse, itās very strong; A danger. But for Subaru, he can only summon one, itās very weak, and when used offensively, it has major consequences. But when used in moments of comfort when his own hands canāt reach, such as patting Joseph or wiping Beatriceās tears, there was no considerable setback.
Greed: For Regulus, his Authority was so powerful and self-serving, it put him as one of the strongest characters in the story, someone not even Reinhard would be able to defeat by himself. Yet, for Subaru, it has no offensive potential, being an incredibly supportive ability instead, being able to take and share emotional, mental or physical burden from and to consenting allies, allowing Subaru to detect their location and their emotional states. With a big enough number, he could even make a near invincible army as long as he keeps himself awake, and on the other side of the coin, it has no use when heās by himself.
To further highlight this, his love interest, Emilia, is the total opposite, easily performing typically masculine roles. She is one of the heavy-hitters of the camp, the leader of it and someone naturally gifted in combat who is capable of protecting others with her power, all the while being confident in her own femininity.Ā
Heās the one being saved (stereotypically feminine) when he wants to be the one who saves (stereotypically masculine), even if itās something unsuited to him and something that actively destroys him. This is best portrayed through his acts of heroism and his obsession with saving everyone. Though this is largely attributed to his crippling fear of loss, this can be also analyzed from a gender perspective.
Being a hero largely involves masculine attributes, and so it is an identity Subaru wants to confidently define himself by, even though it is something that actively harms him in the long run, slowly, but surely, killing his heart. Heroism is largely portrayed through a negative lens in Re:Zero, Tappei outright stating that Greed IF Subaru had become a āheroā who is capable of saving everything after losing his own heart, Arc 4 Subaru actively struggling with the identity of a hero Rem had given him throughout the events and at times even considering it a curse.
Tappei himself portrays heroism as a masculine activity for him, putting Subaruās identity as Natsumi in anti-thesis with Subaruās identity as a hero.
Natsumi Schwartz, personification of Subaruās femininity
As an introduction, āNatsumi Schwartzā is the name Subaruās female identity goes under, a result of Subaru pushing away all of his femininity under the existence of one alter ego that embodies it. After all, he has a complex about it due to it being rejected by society, but it is not something he himself dislikes.
Studying the etymology of the name, āNatsumiā is solely written in katakana (ććć) so there is no fixed or traditional meaning, but a common and possible meaning for it would be āBeautiful Summerā, and the last name āSchwartzā is āBlackā in german, originally a nickname for someone with black hair.Ā
Together, it could be read as āBeautiful Black Summerā, which is an interesting play of words since black is closely associated with darkness, while summer is associated with light. Summer can also be associated with warmth and freedom, which could track to his femininity being used as an outlet to escape expectations whenever they get too suffocating.Ā
Natsumi even behaves in an uninhibited manner thatās unlike the behavior Subaru normally displays, further portraying the feeling of āfreedomā, to the point Otto remarked that Subaru might not even respond to his real name anymore while having such a good time as Natsumi in the āThe Three Idiots Set Out! The Cursed Goddess Statue Episodeā post-Arc 4 SS.
The āBeautifulā part tracks to Natsumi being incredibly beautiful, followed by Subaruās belief that āBeauty can be madeā, a desire for Subaru to imagine himself as most beautiful while embracing his femininity, normally considering himself to be physically unattractive.
Crossdressing is Subaruās hobby, but it is not just a hobbyā Natsumi is a very real identity for Subaru and taken extremely seriously by him, just like the identity of a hero he keeps holding onto. He puts his everything into it, because he loves being Natsumi, a persona born from his rejected femininity. Unlike the identity of being āthat manās sonā or the identity of being āRemās Heroā where his femininity wasnāt allowed, the identity of Natsumi Schwartz allows him to fully embrace it as he could freely disregard and hide the parts of him that expected masculinity. He even went through the extra effort to train his voice to sound like a womanās.
What also differentiates āNatsumi Schwartzā from the other two is that it is the only identity out of the three that Subaru created himself and effortlessly embraced without having to suffer for it. āNatsuki Kenichiās sonā was an identity imposed by societal expectations that slowly crushed him as he grew up, and āRemās Heroā was an identity imposed by Rem that gave him something to like about himself at the cost of his own sanity. The two of them are products of what other people wanted from Subaru, while Natsumi is something Subaru is perfectly comfortable with as it is his own creation and born from a part of him that existed from the very start, something that doesnāt require him to spill blood and/or tears for, its only downside being that it is very susceptible to rejection by the outside world.Ā
This gets further exemplified by Subaru excusing that he ādid not have time to change backā when asked by multiple people why he hadnāt, even though the other two guys who had crossdressed with him had plenty of time to do so. Even later when leaving for Chaosflame, he excused keeping up the identity by having to hide his real name.
Natsumi Schwartz even ends up taking the role of being Subaruās idealized self. Sheās beautiful, confident, self-reliant and intelligent, things he fully believes heās not. Subaru feels confident as Natsumi, but itās not actual confidenceā Itās trust in the ideal self he created for himself, trust in the parts of himself he always rejected, channeled through this persona.Ā
And yet, he wouldnāt acknowledge that Natsumi is all of these things he envisions as āidealā simply because what Natsumi is made up of is also what Subaru is made up of, as she was born out of the feminine traits he tried to cut out of himself, those same traits that were once terribly rejected by those around him, as they did not fit their idea of who and what Subaru should be.
In truth, he does like being feminine, he likes being beautiful, he likes makeup, he likes dressing up, he likes having long hair, but he does not allow this part of him to surface unless itās through Natsumi, the manifestation of everything that heās taught he shouldnāt be.
