Captain Lirk @smellycheddarconfectionking - Tumblr Blog

Pterocarpus Angolensis is a tree native to South Africa. It’s also commonly known as the bloodwood tree due to the fact that when it’s chopped or damaged, a deep red sap which looks eerily similar to blood. In fact, the purpose of the sap is to coagulate and seal the wound to promote healing, much like blood.

kittiesatemypronouns

That’s one of the purposes of all sap, just in the interest of a tad less sensationalism, lol.

blackswallowtailbutterfly

I always thought of sap as tree blood anyway. lol But yes, it is all sap, and not its only purpose.

hungwy

Hard and fast blogging rule that you all seem to fail to adhere to: unfollow blogs that you do not like

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

Sigmund Freud: All men secretly REALLY REALLY want to have sex with their mothers

It’s the Oedipus Complex

Oedipus: (Who literally gouged his own eyes out and killed himself when he found out he accidentally had sex with his mother) I’m sorry it’s the WHAT complex

farmfreshmemes

windowgaze-blog

indigobluerose

that is too much ears

important-shit-masterlist

PREACH MOTHERFUCKING PREACH

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The Big Duck

hikari1996

big duck energy

thatsthat24

Troublesome Living Arrangements 🏡 (W/ @domgoldofficial)

alexander

“Guns have changed, shouldn’t our gun laws?”

autumngracy

Who wants to guess how many bags of peaches are in my dad’s freezer?

autumngracy

The answer is:

Too fucking many

This is gonna make … a lot of jam …….

autumngracy

So, I managed to fit all but one big bowl of peaches into the two stock pots …

autumngracy

An hour and a half later, here they are simmering away …

How long is it gonna take to reduce them to jam, you ask?? Fuck if I know at this size lmao

autumngracy

In case you were wondering, it is, in fact, longer than 5 hours, as I am still stirring this jam over the oven :) :) :)

Oh and also there was another large bowl of peaches in the other fridge that I did not see until later, so I did not in fact fit ALL the peaches into the stock pots

On a brighter note, the whole house smells like a Victorian Christmas dinner

autumngracy

Hello again friends, it is currently REAL JAMMING TIME and I have been in stirring hell for seven hours

Went through two whole containers of pectin and a bunch of cornstarch already and things are looking just PEACHY

autumngracy

So, uh, the first stock pot alone yielded 272 ounces, so I … may have accidentally made about 68 8oz jars of jam …… and I only had 36 jars …

Guess I’m going back to the store tomorrow … and going to have to join the local farmers market to sell them …

Anyway, TEN CONTINUOUS HOURS OF WORK LATER, here I am at around 3am sealing my first batch of jars … (entire other stock pot of jam lurks ominously in the background)

God, it’s like when you overestimate how much pasta you’re gonna end up with, only 300% worse

autumngracy

So I woke up today after sleeping like a log to fibd my dad had already gone back to the store (which is like 30 min away) and gotten me more jars because he saw that I needed them

As you can see one of those pachages is the wrong size jar (4oz) so we’ll see if I can fit all the jam into these suckers (plus the two 8oz ones I had leftover)

My dad also put all the jars of jam in the fridge, although since they were all properly sealed (aw yeah) was totally unnecessary lol

He said he accidentally dropped one on the way to the fridge but I checked and it amazingly A) didn’t break, and B) remained properly sealed, so hats off to Ball corp, and also me I guess

autumngracy

Update: WE BE JAMMIN’

Spices I used for this recipe:

-Cinnamon

-Nutmeg

-Ginger

-Allspice

-Vanilla Extract

The combination worked out very well!

Gotta can the rest of it after I eat tho :P

autumngracy

So, I FINALLY managed to can all the jam, except for like … 6 oz of it, so I made shortbread cookies to use that with ;)

Altogether I did end up with 72 jars of jam, 12 of which are the 4oz size though. What the fuck am I gonna do with all this jam, jesus christ

Anyway, thanks for coming to my jam-filled TED talk guys, take care

maximumgayce

send me some jam op

oldgalactichippie

This is my bfs grandparents with pecans. They have two full deep freezers filled with pecans

xonmybullshitx

These math problem weirdos need to be stopped

weskit-deactivated20141112

babygeena

My Queen.

optimysticals

I do love Dolly.

tellmeoflegends

Here in Tennessee, Dolly has an organisation called The Imagination Library. It donates books that she chooses every month to EVERY CHILD born in Tennessee from the day they’re born until they turn five. TWELVE BOOKS A YEAR FOR FIVE YEARS EVERY CHILD! Thank you, Dolly Parton!