Smile The Hurt

SW:140 CW:122 FGW:110 SGW:100 AGW:90 -------------------  Escaping Reality ------------------*Trigger Warning* I am not promoting self-harm. -------------------------------------------------------- All I have ever done is hide the pain with a smile. Everyday all day, until I am alone in my room during late evenings and early mornings. Everyone suffers with different things, I happen to be dealing with my own war. Depression, anxiety, self-hate, self-harm and being anorexic are now a huge part of my daily life. I don't want to die, I just don't want to be here.

[teenagecrush]

[lovellydisaster]

“i remember he would say “i love you” and i would reply “i love you more.” he told me it was impossible for me to love him more and i told him it was possible. once i saw him walk out that door, i proved him that i still did love him more even after i felt my heart shatter into pieces.”

— i knew i was right but i was so wrong for still loving you.

[tullipsink]

Losing you wasn’t just painful, it was fucking damaging also. It wasn’t me sitting down on a couch surrounded by my friends as we watched movies and ate food to try and forget you. It was me staying up at four in the morning because the thought of you was so fucking strong I couldn’t even close my eyes without seeing your face. It was me swallowing thickly and blinking back tears every time I was in public, the hole in my chest causing my breaths to come out shaky rather than normal. It was me laughing at things for no reason as my stomach turned because the urge of falling apart was getting stronger. It was me crying at random hours during the day and me not wanting to get up out of bed. It wasn’t just me staring blankly at your number, deciding wether or not if I should call you. It was me throwing my phone at the wall and breaking it, because I was drunk again and the thought of you ever changing your information terrified me. It was me deleting our conversations and regretting it because now I couldn’t know where we had went wrong. It fucking hurt, losing you had hurt and I wasn’t ever able to forget that kind of pain.

A.M.// getting over someone is horrible (via tullipsink)

[4am-reflections]

looking at you is too hard now. every time i see you in haunted by the memories of an easier time. where your voice was the soundtrack to my days. i look at you and i see everything you walked away from. every smile, every laugh, every secret shared. when i look at you i see every thing i’ve ever wanted. but that person just isn’t here anymore.

writing about you is getting too hard now// 4am (via 4am-reflections)

[riding-the-wavez]

[4am-reflections]

and the worst thing is knowing that you don’t mean as much to people as they do to you. you can see it in their eyes when you look into them, you don’t fill up their life as they do to you. you don’t make their world spin, or the air leave their lungs. they may love you, and i bet they do. but maybe not enough. not enough to keep you. not enough to chose you. not enough to stay.

suddenly you leaving me has become my biggest fear// 4am

[for-him-diaries]

I need to keep reminding myself that you don’t care. Because in my head, you do. And in my dreams, I mean everything to you.

P.G.G (via for-him-diaries)

[mywastedtears]

falling in love with someone who doesn’t deserve you

- how we destroy ourselves

[xbloody-thighs-hollow-eyesx]

I have trust issues because even my own shadow leaves me when things get dark

Xbloody-thighs-hollow-eyesx (via xbloody-thighs-hollow-eyesx)

[thegoodvybe]

[evidence-s-blog]

[lovequotesrus]

[lovelyywords]

[atzamot-deactivated20140425]

[imdeprime-deactivated20150519]

[romantiqueanus]

[lucifersmother]

[coral]

my blog will make you horny ;)