Smile :)

Welcome to the red room :) ((Icon by @deep-nerd, header/background by @sunflower-chan))

[smileys-studio]

Could I send a riddle or two as well?

“I suppose, but eventually I will retire so they might be answer tomorrow.”

“But still, go ahead!” 

[smileys-studio]

I am greater than a God, more powerful than the Devil. The destitute have it, the magnate need it, and if you partake of me you will die. What am I?

“You’re using an oversized vocabulary for a common riddle.”

“I am greater than God, more powerful than the Devil. The poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it you’ll die.” 

“Why, my dear Anonymous, the answer is nothing.”

[smileys-studio]

Do you like riddles?

“Sure, it’s something to cure boredom I suppose.”

[smileys-studio]

Mm.

“Can I help you?”

[smileys-studio]

And your loyalties? Have they been/are they being called into question?

“If you mean my loyalties to Dolly, no. I’m not some cheap whore who will fuck the first attractive person they see. I merely know beauty when I see it.”

[smileys-studio]

Oi, Smiley~! There appears to be a new psycho in town in the form of one Shawn Flynn. Thoughts?

“He’s hot as fuck.”

[smileys-studio]

Yay, you tried to hurt me!!! Stick to your knives, your words are as dull as your brain!

“I don’t need to hurt you child, you’re already damaged beyond repair. I merely needed to set an example of what stupidity won’t be tolerated on my blog.”

[smileys-studio]

"One day I'll have Wilford's gead on aplatter one day." Will that also be the day you stop being redundant? (Doc I'm Teasing ily)

“Nice spelling sweetheart. I can see why you were clearly held back.” 

“And did you know one definition of redundant is ‘able to be omitted without loss of meaning or function’. (I assume you didn’t know that for several reasons, but let’s skip past your low intellect).” 

“Now, I suppose you could omit my phrase, but I feel it takes away from the sentence structure. It also takes away from the fact I will legitimately put his head on a platter while ripping out his eyes and devouring the flesh from his face.”

“But if you feel I’m redundant, feel free to leave. I’d rather not have dumbasses on my blog, you know?”

[smileys-studio]

Since willford is stealing your ideas.... Why don't you team up for a special show? I'm sure this could be interesting.

“Oh how brilliant. Yes! Why don’t I team up with the man who’s stealing my ideas so he can shoot me over and over! You really are an intellectual!”

“I’ll never work with that scumbag. One day I’ll track him down and slaughter him like the pig he is.” 

“One day I’ll have Wilford Warfstache’s head on a platter one day.” 

[smileys-studio]

wilford or dr iplier. whos better.

“Well, Wilford steals my show ideas so I suppose it’d be Dr. Iplier, although I don’t really know him.” 

[smileys-studio]

Are you happy, Smiley?

“Currently, yes. Bit hungry but fine otherwise.” 

[smileys-studio]

JESUS CHRIST IT WAS A JOKE!! I DID NOT MEAN IT LIKE THAT IN THE SLIGHTEST!! I ONLY USED THE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) FACE BECAUSE I REMEMBERED SOME OF THE STUFF ON THERE! I’D NEVER SHOW HIM THAT PRECISELY BECAUSE YOU’D MURDER ME!! (And because that’s rude. Duh.)

“Well I worry! There are some real freaks on the internet (I’d know) and I had no idea what you all do!” 

“But yes, about that blog...I suppose if you address me on there I’ll answer questions.”

[smileys-studio]

This might be kind of awkward, but that last comment about Anti... do you to have a, um, history?

“Oh I wish! He was my first love, really. He’s so violent and attractive, what’s not to love?”

“My favorite thing about him though? That he introduced my to my beloved Dolly!~” 

[smileys-studio]

Wait, when has Anti worn a tie before?

“Well, there was one time....”

“But you all don’t need to know about that, do you? ;)” 

[smileys-studio]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I sure hope he doesn’t see it either ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“Yes, it’d be a shame if someone showed it to him. Especially considering it’s been a while since I’ve had a snack.” 

[smileys-studio]

S-sorry, I just... You mentioned “colleagues” and I pictured Anti sitting at a desk in a dress shirt and tie... I don’t know whether to be amused or horrified... Like?? How would that work?? With his neck?? And propensity for murder??

“Oh, if I can imagine Dolly in a suit I can imagine him in a dress shirt and tie, don’t worry.~”

“It’d have to be a red dress shirt, button up like one of the ones I’m wearing. Or white, I wouldn’t mind the blood.”

“And I don’t think he’d really care too much about the neck issue and tie. It’s never bothered him before, so why would it bother him now.”

[smileys-studio]

I’m all for keeping things more, ahem, PG, but I thought you liked flustering Dolly. He isn’t going to ever see the other blog right?

“I do enjoy flustering Dolly, but only to an extent. It’s more for the kids, you see? But hopefully he won’t ever see that blog. God knows the heart attack he’ll have.”