divine malfunction learning to be human

i am both ephemeral and probably a biohazard heaven’s little experiment in self-destruction TWN/CAN

[smol-stardust]

to the ppl who are following me: welcome. stay and have some tea if you'd like.

odds are you followed me after a surprisingly lucid fandom take. those are rare; cherish them.

should you stay, the landscape looks something like this:

☪︎ occasional lab/anatomy updates ☪︎ thoughts you did not bargain for but will receive anyway ☪︎ OCs in distress (oc protection services patrols sometimes, ignore them) ☪︎ casual mentions of silver nitrate blotches; we’ve all been claimed by the silver gods at least once ☪︎ WHMIS continues to haunt me. i continue to ignore it. ☪︎ yume/gachikoi : there is someone i love in fiction; their silhouette lingers in the tags. ☪︎ Murakami and Dostoyevsky are my favourite authors. that probably tells you something too.

✧ also: i'm a sociologist by training. biopolitics and necropolitics appear without warning. i’ve written papers about them. i apologize in advance ✧

important:  every so often, I will have a sudden, unstoppable need to talk about vore as a metaphor for intimacy. if that’s not your thing, I kindly suggest blocking the #tw vore tag. for your peace. and mine: 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖

if you're into softer prose, you can find that on my writing blog: @themoondustfaerie 

misc links:

✧ ao3 ✧ Fire Department Proximity: an Autoethnography

feel free to send asks or dms; i enjoy chatting when my brain cooperates. moots can ask for discord if they want somewhere quieter :]

this is a permeable membrane; enter and exit freely. take what you need and leave the rest, we're all stardust anyways.

Signing off for now: 𝕊𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕪

[snoopyoftheday]

today is snoopy's birthday! ♡

[xenonguts]

[genderlich-deactivated20211204]

you ever have 8,045 bad mental health days in a row

[genderlich-deactivated20211204]

you ever have 8,046 bad mental health days in a row

[ispinprideflags]

thats 22 years of bad mental health are you okay

[genderlich-deactivated20211204]

you ever have 8,050 bad mental health days in a row

[xtafur-blog]

They’re deactivated now and I really hope they are okay, but my nihilism is telling me something else. :(

[genderlich-deactivated20211204]

nah i just changed urls a few times. i came out and transitioned, graduated college, and got an amazing girlfriend who lights up my life. i had to delete the queued update to this post that said 8400 days for my 23rd birthday because i’m in a really good place right now.

to everyone struggling: it really does get better.

[fairycosmos]

you couldnt imagine what it was like to be 10 years old and listen to radioactive by imagine dragons

[fairycosmos]

its … it’s almost like it was enough to make your systems blow

[skinks]

I love that thing when people get a little bit tongue-tied and garble what they’re trying to say so they make a little “blegh” 👅 noise and start over. verbal reset button. hitting the top of the tv to unscramble the signal

[snarkystrawberry]

tiny inflation :(

[themoondustfaerie]

Qualia

There is a color that exists only at the exact moment it reaches me.

Not red, not blue, but the private weather of seeing.

You could borrow my eyes, trace every neuron like rivers on a map, name each current with impossible precision,

and still miss the small interior bloom that opens when sunset stains an ordinary wall.

This is the country language cannot annex.

The sting of mint. The velvet ache of remembering a voice before the words arrive.

The first second after rain when the world smells older than memory.

Qualia: the singular grammar of experience.

A museum where every exhibit disappears the instant it is shared.

We spend our lives pointing at invisible constellations.

You say gold. I nod.

Between us, an entire universe remains untranslated,

yet somehow,

we keep finding the same dawn, the same bitterness in coffee, the same impossible softness in the hand that reaches back.

Perhaps consciousness is not a window,

but millions of lanterns burning behind closed curtains,

each flame certain it has illuminated the whole night,

each one quietly lighting only itself.

[crabussy]

it's normal and actually good for your health to see yourself in the most guilt ridden character you've ever seen in your life

[jojowentbananas]

Happy One Piece Day!

Drew Nami over a photo that I took on one of my walks 🍊

[myfootyrthroat]

I think some of y'all would really benefit from learning the scope of power of various political offices.

[smegorl]

Are you trying to tell me my local schoolboard doesn't have the ability to declare a unilateral ceasefire with iran?

[myfootyrthroat]

If they try hard enough and are pure of heart... still no.

[tysonfurybattlepass]

public defenders get behind me. i’ll defend you this time

[tysonfurybattlepass]

“so you like criminals?” I LIKE THE RIGHT TO A FAIR TRIAL.

[aspiringsorceress]

One of worst things copaganda ever perpetuated is the rhetoric that if you aren't guilty of breaking the law, you shouldn't value your personal privacy against the state's surveillance and interrogation. That only guilty people hire lawyers when talking to police.

[rawstrap]

reblog to make someone bisexual

[smol-stardust]

i don’t think procrastination is real.

i think i’m simply waiting for the research question to become emotionally compelling.

[smol-stardust]

being good at research is a disease because suddenly i’m reading 43 PDFs to answer a question that could’ve remained whimsical

[earthkinous]

[orphetoon]

the sweet and humble sudoku: here’s some numbers to get you started :) please enjoy my puzzle <3

the nefarious minesweeper: why don’t you just Guess. fucking Guess.